Kit smiled. “You and my sister had lunch. Wow. Was it edible?”
“It was the same pasta dish you always made me. It was good, though I didn’t eat much of it. I wasn’t very hungry.”
He chuckled softly. “It’s the only dish she knows how to make. She probably wanted to impress you.”
I took a deep breath. “That’s not why I brought her up. She said something to me. She claimed a number of things about you and . . .” I stopped.
“And?” he pressed.
My eyes went to his wrist, the cuff of his shirt pulled all the way to the base of his knuckles. “She told me you have a new tattoo.”
“I have a lot of tattoos.” He shifted uncomfortably. “You know that. You stabbed one of them, remember?”
“Kit,” I urged. “I’m not talking about the ones I’ve seen. I’m talking about the one she inked for you recently. Maggie insisted I see it. That I convince you to show it to me.”
Kit tugged the sleeve farther, gripping it tightly in place with his fingers. “What did she say about it?” he asked darkly.
I inched closer. “Won’t you just show me? Please? I think I already know what it is. I saw part of it when we were on your bike.”
Kit was silent. Every slight movement of our bodies, every breath, seemed loud in the quiet. I waited for him to make a decision, wondering why he was so worried to let me see, or why he was so intent on hiding it from me. Maybe Maggie was wrong and the new tattoo had nothing to do with me or with us. Maybe it was just Kit adding on to the images that already graced his shoulders. Maybe—
Kit held out his arm and started to tug the sleeve of his shirt up over his wrist. Little by little, he exposed his skin all the way to his bicep.
I leaned forward, studying the tattoo. “It’s beautiful,” I said.
And it was.
At the base of his wrist were snowflakes, just a flurry of them. Each one a tiny masterpiece, the blue of the ink bright as ice. But as they moved up his arm they grew more numerous until they became a storm that collided with the stars at the base of Kit’s shoulder.
“Maggie is a talented artist,” he said.
“Very.”
Kit pulled his arm away and began to roll his sleeve back down over his skin, his eyes as intent on this process as if he were performing surgery. The tattoo disappeared from view. “Are you going to tell me what Maggie said or not?”
“Well,” I stalled. My cheeks grew fiery. I worried their blaze told Kit everything he might wonder. “She said . . . she implied that . . .” It seemed ridiculous to say what she’d told me out loud now. Like it was something that would only happen in a story, but never real life, or with an App that would last for a few hours but would later fade to oblivion. That a boy—a boy I loved—would ink something on his skin that represented his love for me seemed impossible. That he would create evidence of it for all the Real World to see. Finally, I just said it. “Did you . . . is that tattoo”—I drew in a deep breath—“for me?”
Kit’s eyes were steady and unafraid. “Answer me one thing first,” he said. “At Trader’s cottage, when I was waking up, did you say that you loved me or did I dream it?”
My eyes slid to the wall, which was shadowy and surreal in the dim lighting. I couldn’t hold Kit’s gaze while I answered. “Yes,” I said eventually. “You heard me say that I love you. Still. Despite all that’s happened.”
He sucked in a breath. “Skylar—”
“—that must’ve taken Maggie forever,” I interjected.
“A couple of months,” Kit said quietly. “To finish it.”
“Did it hurt?”
“It always hurts.”
My eyes flickered back to his. “Are you going to make me ask you again or are you going to answer me like you said you would?”
“Yes, it’s for you. Of course it’s for you. Every time I look at it I’m reminded of when we met and how we grew closer despite the situation. I’m reminded of falling in love with you. And what I did to push you away. I had Maggie do it so I would never forget.” His voice was anguished. “Skylar?” he pressed, when I didn’t say anything.
“I love it. I love that you did it,” I whispered. But I got up from the bed and went to the door. The narrow room felt like it was closing in on me. I grasped the handle.
“Where are you going? Don’t run away,” Kit pleaded.
“I just need some air,” I told him. “Some space. More space than there is in here. With you. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“What are you so afraid of?” Kit asked before I could leave. “Just tell me.”
“Betrayal, Kit. I’m afraid you’ll betray me all over again.”
He met me at the door, but was careful not to get too close. “But I won’t,” he said. “I won’t, Skylar. I promise.”
I turned back slightly. He was near enough that I could feel the slight rise and fall of his chest. “You promised me things before and then you broke your promises.”
“Things were different before,” he said.
“And how are they now?”
“Different,” he repeated. “Very.”
“I’m not ready to trust you,” I told him. “I’m just not.”
“Then I’ll wait.”
His face was close. I wanted to kiss him. I took a step outside the room instead. “You might be waiting a long time, Kit.”
“I don’t care, Skylar,” he said. “I’ll be here when you’re ready.”
I nodded. I couldn’t speak. My throat was too tight. Then I turned and left the way I came. I could feel Kit’s eyes lingering on my back.
31
Lacy
allies once more
WHEN RAIN WAS asleep, I slipped away.
Down I went, one floor, then another, grateful that no one else was awake, everyone doing their best to rest before tomorrow. I thought I would make it all the way to my destination unseen until I rounded a corner and ran smack into Skylar.
“Lacy,” she hissed, startled. “What are you doing up?”
“What are you doing up?” I returned, before I realized where we were standing. “Oh! Forget that question. I already know.” I smiled a little, pleased to find Skylar emerging from Kit’s room. But my smile faltered when I saw that her big blue eyes were shiny with tears. “Are you all right?” I wondered aloud. Despite everything, sympathy niggled its way into me for Skylar. Pain experienced on behalf of love was the worst kind of hurt, far worse than any pain in the real body. I’d wished on many an occasion for a Mind Eraser App to ease my heartache about Rain.
“I’m fine,” Skylar said.
But she was lying. That much was obvious. I nodded at the door down the hall behind her. “Was he being a jerk or something?”
She shook her head.
That’s a relief.
But was it a relief because I wanted Skylar’s heart to belong to Kit and not to Rain? Or because I actually cared whether she felt bad, regardless of them both?
“I just had some questions I needed answers to,” she went on, growing distant.
“Don’t we all,” I agreed.
The two of us locked eyes.
Skylar and I were sharing a moment.
Miracles did happen, I supposed.
The moment passed. Curiosity crept across her face. “Where were you headed?”
“Um, nowhere?” I replied, as though this would suffice.
Skylar’s dark, thick, in-need-of-plucking eyebrows arched. “Um, try again?”
“To get a snack?”
“Lacy.” The patience in her voice had grown thin. “Spill. I caught you sneaking somewhere, and if I had to guess it was down to the plugs, since there’s nowhere else this hallway leads.”
“Fine.” I tapped my fingernails against the wall behind me. A nervous habit I could never seem to break. “I’ll tell you what I was up to if you promise not to tell anyone else. Not anyone. Not yet at least.”
“I don’t know if I can promise that.” Sh
e looked at me like I was some crazy person and not Lacy Mills, sought-after young starlet of the App World. Which I supposed I wasn’t anymore, but whatever. Details.
I retracted my fingers and stood straighter. “Then why should I tell you anything?”
She seemed to think about this. “So you’re not alone in it,” she said.
And she said it with kindness.
It was real, too.
Ever since I’d heard talk of a virus, I assumed that eventually we might need to get people out of the App World. Like, to the tune of everybody. I started imagining possibilities that made me the heroine this time, rather than Skylar—or at the very least, alongside her. Shockingly enough, I actually thought of something quite good. But could I actually trust her with what I’d been thinking about? What I’d decided to do? Or at least, try to do?
Would she be willing to share the spotlight with me, her longtime nemesis?
Because right now, Skylar, the heroine herself in the flesh, was taking a risk by reaching out to me.
So I decided to take my own risk and reach back.
I told her my thoughts. How I believed I might be able to help.
When I finished, I tried to read the expression in her eyes. The tears had dried as she listened to me. But was it disapproval I saw? No. Definitely not. The way she looked at me, it was almost with respect. Admiration, even. Was that possible? Could Skylar Cruz, so long my nemesis in this world, actually have a change of heart about me?
Could I have a change of heart about her, too?
She kept staring like she’d never seen me before and my confidence faltered. Maybe I’d misread her reaction. My fingernails bit into my palms. “You hate what I want to do,” I stated. “You think it’s stupid. Unnecessary.”
Skylar shook her head. “No,” she said slowly. “I don’t think it’s stupid. Far from it. I think it’s a great plan, and if I had to bet, we’ll be grateful you thought of it.”
Air puffed my lungs and seemed to lift me up. “Really?”
“Yes, really. And given what’s likely ahead, it’s smart, and I have a feeling we’re going to need exactly this. I’m sorry if I’ve underestimated you in the past.”
I nearly couldn’t believe my ears, hearing these things from the mouth of Skylar the Great herself. “Seriously,” I said, the word forceful and disbelieving.
She nodded. “But Lacy, what is this really about?” she asked, still sounding a bit suspicious of my motives.
The pesky fleshy heart inside my chest pounded against my rib cage like a child throwing a temper tantrum. “You’re not the only one who can be heroic around here, you know!” I shot back before I could stop those words from flying out of my mouth.
Understanding dawned on her face—understanding that I wished I could erase with one swipe of my hand. “So this is about proving yourself to Rain.”
I tossed my long locks to one side. “What if it is?”
“I’m not judging you,” she said. “I’m really not. People do all kinds of things for love,” she added carefully. Maybe she was afraid I’d lash out at her again, or maybe she was careful because she knew this subject between us was as delicate and thin as the very real and permeable skin of our bodies. “I respect you for it. Though I promise it’s unnecessary. I see the way he looks at you, Lacy. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone, him least of all.”
“But you’re not going to stop me,” I said, choosing to ignore her last comment.
“No. I won’t.” She looked around, but there was no one else in sight, no sounds to indicate anyone approaching us. We were totally alone. “In fact, if you really are serious about this, I’m going to help you instead.” She blinked once. “If you’ll have me.”
32
Ree
high tea
“EVERYONE KNOWS YOU were always the brains behind this operation.” I lifted my teacup and took a small sip. The warmth sent relaxing shivers through my code, and I was grateful for it.
“Oh?” Lady Holt said, displaying her trademark modesty. “What an interesting thing to insinuate.”
She had invited me in to her palatial penthouse, but only to be polite. But that didn’t mean she wouldn’t usher me out long before I could get to the point of my visit.
My mother had been her number one fan—a fact Lady Holt knew well, given that my mother won a “Day of Shadowing Lady Holt” in a special contest that invited the winner into the virtual world of the City’s honorary queen. My mother had downloaded all the advice and opinions Lady Holt had ever recorded and was always going on and on about her bountiful “wisdom.” My mother had bought into all the conspiracy theories swirling around her as well, the biggest one being that her husband was really only a puppet, his wife holding the strings and running the government single-handedly from behind the scenes. Before these last months I wouldn’t have believed it, but then the entire App World watched Jonathan Holt crumble before the obvious dominance of Emory Specter, not to mention the chaos unleashed by his son, Rain, and Rain’s favorite sidekick, Skylar. To say that such events raised questions was the understatement of the App century.
My coming here was a belated way of honoring my mother’s surprising judgment.
But the question remained: if the rumors were true about Lady Holt, then where had she been these last six months? Why hadn’t she stepped forward to rule in her husband’s absence? The rumors were that he’d abandoned her and was somewhere in his real body with his son. So why in both worlds had she remained silent and out of the picture?
I smiled at her now. And decided to be honest. “I’ve learned a lot about this world in the last few months. Things that perhaps you already know, being who you are and all”—I fluttered my lashes, glad that I’d spent precious capital on a Mascara App to add to the effect—“or perhaps things you’d be very interested to find out?”
“I’m listening,” she said, ever composed.
She took a sip of her tea.
I told her everything I knew. Everything I’d been through. About the holes in the fabric of the App World and about my ominous encounter with Emory Specter and the tidbit he’d dropped about the dark-seeming fate of our City. The steam from her tea curled up and around her virtual face, the elegant bell of her sleeves matching that of the skirt of her dress. She really was every bit the lady. When I finished, I was forced to endure a long silence, during which I fidgeted because I couldn’t help myself. I drained my cup even though it was so hot it burned through my code. I wasn’t raised for elegant meetings with App World royalty.
“Why come to me with this?” she asked finally.
I set my cup back onto the coffee table. “I just . . . I have suspicions about you.”
She eyed me skeptically. “Yes. You said that earlier. And what suspicions are those?”
“That you might know what to do to save all our virtual lives from oblivion.”
“And why should I do anything to help this world, when all it has done is taken my family away? My son and my husband are no longer here to give me any incentive to care.”
“But you’re a Holt!” I protested.
“Only by marriage,” she countered.
“Good point,” I admitted.
She huffed daintily.
“I have something else to offer you in return for any advice, solutions, help . . .”
“What could you possibly offer me that I would care about?”
“Access to your son,” I dropped. “How does that sound?”
33
Skylar
acts of faith
“I’LL HAVE EVERYONE there by noon,” Andleeb was saying.
The headscarf she wore today was a fiery purple. Vivid. Royal. It was perfect. “Do you think you can mobilize people that quickly?” I asked.
“The key people we need, yes,” Rasha said with a nod. Rasha’s hijab was a bright hot pink, and it set off the beauty of her olive skin and dark eyes. “As long as you provide us the transportation.”
“I’m taking care of that,” Sylvia said. “You’ll have it.”
I turned to Zeera. “You alerted everyone here and in the city?”
“As many as I could reach, with the limited technology people have access to.” Her eyes were on the tablet in her hands. She finished tapping on it and looked up. “I still wish we could wait awhile, until I can gather more intel on the App World. We don’t really know what we’re getting into.”
Trader peered over her shoulder at the screen, reading something. “But we can at least cross the border undetected if we use the Shifting App again.” His eyes flickered to mine. The Shifting App was powered by yours truly, so the burden of this plan would fall to me.
Rain kept glancing at the door, as though waiting for someone to walk through it and join us. “We think we can cross undetected,” he corrected, distractedly.
He was wondering about Lacy. Worried about her.
I hope she’s okay.
Parvda was nodding. “And we have no idea if and how shifting affects people in the long run. Adam is . . . Adam is so far under I can’t pull him out.” Her voice cracked. “What if he never wakes up? What if . . . what if he dies on the plugs?” She turned to me. “Shifting is hard on people, isn’t it Skylar?”
“Skylar is fine,” Trader cut in.
I hesitated. Parvda was right. I didn’t know what the long-term effects were of shifting. “I am technically okay, it’s true. But it’s also true that shifting takes its toll on the body. A big one.”
“Skylar is right,” Kit confirmed.
Everyone turned to him.
“I’ve been shifting these last months, probably too much, and it’s a destructive habit. I don’t think the real brain is equipped to handle that kind of back-and-forth.” He turned to Trader. “But you’re right, too. Shifting allows us to enter into the App World undetected. I can’t prove it without a doubt, but I’ve done it enough to believe that it’s the case.”
Rain was gaping at him. “You’ve been shifting.”
“Yeah. So?” Kit challenged.
“I’m just surprised. I’ve been told you hate the App World.” Rain looked at me as he said this.
The Mind Virus Page 20
