by Amanda Boone
I groaned as a few tears of my own fell. “Ugh. This is so mushy. I’ve missed you, too. I’m sorry. I really am.”
Sara scooted her chair even closer to me and rested her head against mine. “Want to come over and watch The Notebook?”
I pushed her away. “Oh, ick. You know I can’t watch that movie. Why would I want to watch something that hurts me? It’s so sad and I just can’t.”
She laughed. “Fine. Anyway, I know you’re busy right now, but I figured as soon as you finish you with that anniversary thing you’re planning, maybe we can get started.”
I slid my laptop around to her. “I just finished up with the last details of that party. Check it out. Lime green tablecloths that actually don’t make me want to jump off a bridge.”
She scrolled through my notes and plans. “Wow. This is actually going to be really beautiful. Maybe I’ll make lime green one of my colors for the wedding.”
“Don’t you even dare.”
7.
“Don’t you think that’s a little too much leg? And now that I’m looking, your ladies are out, too.” Mrs. Wilkens had let herself into my house while I was trying to get ready. She was sitting on my bed, judging everything I put on.
“It’s a summer kickoff party, Wilkens. Look alive. There’s even going to be a water slide.” I stared at my reflection in the mirror and turned so I could see my butt. Maybe she was right. A lot of thigh was visible.
She continued her rubbing of Moo-Key’s head absently while flicking Fred’s ears with the other hand. Fred never seemed to mind her strange behavior. He actually preferred her over me. “It’s barely April. That’s hardly summer. Of course, it is Texas. It was ninety-four yesterday. Are you trying to pick up a man or something?”
I shook my head. “No, ma’am. I’m just trying to be a good friend to Sara. She asked me to go. Are you sure you don’t want to go? Maybe you could get a hot date.”
She scoffed. “James has barely been dead ten years. I’m hardly ready to get back on that horse.”
“Ten years? Come on. You have to put yourself back out there sometime. The party’s at the fairgrounds. I bet some fine gentlemen your age will be there.”
“All the men my age are either dead or coughing up dust. I want someone younger if I’m going to do something crazy.” She looked down at Moo-Key and hesitated. “Oh, I can’t go. Who will watch this big mutt if I do?”
“We’ll take him. He loves going out.”
She clapped her hands and stood up. “Okay! Take that dress off. I want to try it on.”
I laughed because there was nothing else I could do. Mrs. Wilkens was a firecracker, and I’d learned to just go along with her.
When we were done dressing, and I’d seen enough flashes of her boobs to know that she wasn’t planning on wearing a bra, we leashed Moo-Key and left in my car. Mrs. Wilkens had decided to wear a bright yellow sundress of mine. It was short and revealing, to say the least. The dress was a little too big for her, so I’d given her a belt to wear with it. She actually pulled the look off.
I’d decided on a cream colored, lace dress that was off the shoulders and stopped mid-thigh. I paired it with a pair of strappy nude sandals. My hair was straight and hanging down my back. I felt pretty and ready to face the Steele family, who would likely be there in spades.
The fairground parking was nearly full when we got there. Once I did find a spot, Mrs. Wilkens spotted someone she knew and rushed off to be with them. She said they could go hunting together for young men.
I just led Moo-Key out of the car with a grin on my face. “Ditched by the little old lady for someone cooler. What a sad day for us.”
He gave an excited yip and sniffed around. He loved going places where people were around. He was a unique dog, and everyone usually slathered him in attention and love.
I led the way into the party area and looked around. After getting stopped a bunch of times, I found Sara sitting at a picnic table with Justin and Avery.
My chest throbbed once at seeing Avery, but I forced a smile and waved. “Hey! I thought I’d never find you in this crowd.”
Sara gave me a hug while Justin nodded at me. “I’m so glad you actually came! And you brought Moo!”
Avery stood up and pointed in the distance. “I think I see a friend. Gotta go!”
I frowned after him and considered chasing him down. I understood needing to avoid someone, though, so I didn’t. It sucked that he was avoiding me, though. “Am I crashing a date right now?”
Justin grinned at his fiancée and shook his head. “No. We’re all hanging out together today. And later we’re heading back to my place for a bonfire and pool party. You’re invited, which means you have to go or I’ll hear Sara pout about it all night. Please, for the love of god, do me the favor and come.”
Sara slapped his arm. “I don’t pout!”
He laughed. “Yes, you do. You ask me no less than ten times where I think Amanda is and why I think she won’t come.”
She blushed and turned to me. “I’m sorry, Amanda! It’s just that you’re my best friend and mostly my only friend that I can hang out with and be myself. I mean there’s Justin’s family, but it’s not the same as having you by my side.”
I nodded. “I understand. I’ll come tonight. I have Mrs. Wilkens with me, though.”
Justin chose that moment to do a spit take. When some of his water got on Sara, he grabbed a napkin to clean it up. “I’m sorry, baby. Um, Amanda, I think you might want to look behind you.”
I turned around and immediately spotted what he’d spit over. Mrs. Wilkens was sitting at a table a few feet from us, her lips already at home on an old guy. I blinked a few times to make sure I was seeing it and then turned back to Justin and Sara. “You know what? I think maybe she won’t need a ride home with me after all.”
I started laughing and couldn’t stop. Sara snorted and then buried her face in her hands, but I could still see her shoulders shaking with laughter. Justin seemed to be a little freaked out.
After a few minutes I managed to mostly get myself in check. “I think the craziest part is that my ninety-some-year-old neighbor can get a guy faster than me.”
Sara’s eyes flashed and she grinned. “That’s not true. You just have spent more time hiding from men than actually chasing them lately.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “You’re not planning anything, are you? Seriously, Sara. You have that look in your eyes, and I don’t trust it.”
She just shrugged. “I’m your best friend, Amanda. I’d never do anything to give you a reason not to trust me.”
Famous last words and all.
8.
We walked Moo-Key over to the area that had been sectioned off for live music. A band was onstage, playing old rock and roll while people danced.
“Your dog is stepping in time with the music.” Justin sounded weirded out, but it wasn’t anything new to me.
I looked down and grinned as Moo-Key’s feet moved to the beat. “He loves music. I used to listen to music to fall asleep, but I had to stop because he’d just stand there dancing all night long.”
Sara laughed and poked Justin in the ribs. “He’s almost as bad as your cousin, Joey.”
Justin was about to reply, but something behind me caught his eye. “Hey, man. Where’ve you been?”
I turned and had to stop myself from sighing at the sight of Devon. He was wearing another pair of worn jeans, his cowboy boots, and a white T-shirt that hugged his large chest perfectly. He was holding his cowboy hat in his hands.
“I had a few errands to run in town first. Hey, there, Amanda.” His eyes moved down my body slowly and then trailed back up to my eyes. “You look pretty.”
Moo-Key stepped forward and shoved his nose into Devon’s crotch. My eyes went wide, and I nearly choked on my surprise. “Moo-Key, no!”
Devon moved his cowboy hat over his crotch and blew out a big breath. “I think your horse likes me, ma’am.”
S
ara giggled and winked at me in an obvious way. “Why don’t Justin and I take Moo for a walk?”
I tried to say no, but Justin was already taking the leash from my hand. I watched as he sent a similar wink to Devon and then they disappeared. I stared after them and inhaled deeply. “They just kidnapped my dog.”
“And sent us both sadly obvious signals. Did you mention anything to them?”
I shook my head too fast and hair flew up and stuck to my lipgloss. Before I could reach up and pull it away, Devon did it for me. I looked at my toes and quietly thanked him.
“So, you didn’t mention anything?” His deep voice sounded amused, and a small chuckle followed his words.
“Nope. Nothing at all. I’ve got to go and find my dog. It’s irresponsible to just put him off on someone else.”
He caught my arm and stepped closer to me. “Why don’t you dance with me first? Just one dance.”
I looked up at him and frowned. I couldn’t dance with him. I couldn’t do anything with him. He knew my secret, and I couldn’t chance him spilling it. “I’m sorry. I don’t dance. I brought someone with me and I’d better go check on them.”
I practically ran away from him. I found Mrs. Wilkens making out with another old guy at the picnic tables and Justin and Sara sitting at the same table they’d been at before. I grabbed the leash from Justin and glared at them both.
“Knock it off. Don’t do that again, guys. Seriously.” I turned away and walked a few feet before turning back around. “Neither of you know what you’re doing there. It’s not some cute game.”
Justin raised an eyebrow. “What did Devon do that was so bad? I know my brother, Amanda. It must’ve been a misunderstanding. Devon’s the nicest one out of all of us.”
“I’ll meet up with ya’ll in a little while. I need to take Moo-Key for a walk.”
I left them sitting there and tried to control my breathing and anger while I walked to an open part of the grounds. My hands were shaking, and I just needed a few minutes to calm down. I was operating out of fear and it wasn’t going very well. I just kept expecting someone to come up to me with their phone in their hands, playing a clip of that damned video.
“Well, if it isn’t Amanda Trent, in the flesh.” Brady Timmons appeared at my side with his arms crossed over his chest and a scowl on his face.
Running into him was the last thing I needed. He was an asshole that I’d slept with when I first got back to Martinsville. I wasn’t proud of it, and I’d been avoiding him since that awful next morning. In my drunken state that night, I hadn’t noticed how awful he really was. He was a guy that was so similar to Max, it made my skin crawl from the inside out.
“Aren’t you going to speak?”
I stepped away from him and pulled Moo-Key back with me. “Sorry. I was just heading back to the action. My friends are waiting on me.”
He grabbed Moo’s leash and tugged on it. “Stay a while. Why don’t we ever talk anymore? We were real close at one point, weren’t we?”
The hair on the back of my neck stood up, and I realized that I’d moved too far away from the crowds. “Why don’t we go and get a drink?”
Brady tugged on the leash again and I stumbled closer. “You know that everyone thinks that you’re a little slut, right? You’ve slept with half the men in town, Amanda. Pretty soon you’ll have to start double dipping in your cast offs, because there will be no one new for you to suck off in town.”
My anger boiled up to the surface, but I was aware of my situation and how easily it would be for Brady to hurt me if I lashed out at him. Instead, I tugged the leash free from him and backed away again. “I’ve got to go.”
He grabbed me by the shoulder and stopped me from leaving. Moo-Key growled low in his throat and inched toward Brady. “Tell your dog to back off!”
“Why should she? It seems the dog has the right idea.” Devon appeared beside me and calmly plucked Brady’s fingers off my skin. “Don’t touch the lady again.”
I pulled Moo-Key back and stood behind Devon. I was officially creeped out by Brady, and even Devon was a much better choice in that moment.
“What are you going to do about it? She fucking you now?”
Devon didn’t let Brady say anymore. Without another moment’s pause, he threw his big fist into Brady’s face and knocked him back several feet. “Watch your mouth about her.”
9.
Brady stumbled and held onto his jaw. He glared at Devon and then held out his hands. “She isn’t worth it anyway, man. Good luck with her.”
I finally was able to breathe easier again once Brady disappeared from sight. My shoulders sagged, and I knelt down beside Moo-Key to comfort him. Once I was able to stop the racing in my chest, I looked up at Devon and shook my head.
“Are you okay? You didn’t have to punch him. Do you need ice or anything?”
“I’m fine. I’ve punched harder heads before. Are you okay?”
I tried to nod but realized I couldn’t. I suddenly didn’t feel very okay, at all. “I think I need a drink after that.”
He offered me his hand and pulled me up. “I don’t blame you. How about we pretend for a few minutes that we don’t have the past we do? Let’s call a truce and go find a drink.”
I frowned. “I don’t do dates or second times.”
He actually rolled his eyes. “I said drinks. And I said forget our past. Which means, even if this was a date, it would be a first date. Come on.”
I found it alarming how much I did want to go with him. I’d never wanted seconds with another guy in the last three years. Looking at Devon in that moment, with his kind smile and honey eyes, I wanted seconds, thirds, and fourths. It wouldn’t work, though.
I squeezed my fingernails into my palms and shook my head. “I really wish you hadn’t seen that video, Devon.”
Before he could respond, I pulled Moo-Key away as fast as I could. I was running once again. It felt like what I was best at. I found Sara coming out of the bathroom and faked a smile that I knew she could see right through, but it didn’t matter.
“How about we go somewhere to get drunk? What do you say?”
She shrugged. “We were about to go back to Justin’s to start getting the bonfire stuff ready. How about you meet us there?”
I nodded. “I’m going to find Mrs. Wilkens and see if she needs a ride home, and then I’ll drop Moo-Key off at home. Want me to grab anything from the store on the way over?”
She shook her head. “Just yourself and a bikini. Oh, and I saw Mrs. Wilkens leaving with a guy half her age.”
I shook my head. “I hope she’s practicing safe sex.”
After that everything happened too fast for me to really get a handle on things. As soon as I got to Justin’s house, Sara and I went a little crazy with Jell-O shots. Jell-O shots quickly turned into vodka shots and then whiskey shots. The fire had barely started burning, and Sara and I were already drunk.
It made it easy to strip down to my black bikini and jump into the pool. Before long, everyone was following our lead. Drinks and clothes were flying. Laughter rang out over the music Justin had turned on and the fire was forgotten about. No one was going to make s’mores at that party.
When Devon showed up, I was so drunk I didn’t bother hiding my reaction to him from Sara. “God, he’s dreamy.”
She looked back at him and grinned. “I knew you liked him. I knew it. Why don’t you just go for it, Amanda? He likes you, too.”
My brain was sluggish, and nothing seemed to be firing correctly up there. “I can’t be with him. He knows about the bad thing.”
She pushed my shoulder gently and laughed. “What bad thing? Just go and grab him and tell him that you want to jump his bones!”
I felt like crying instantly. I wanted to do that. I wanted to put everything aside and not have to worry about things anymore. “I have to talk to him.”
She cheered loudly. “Yeah! You go tell him!”
I climbed out of the pool and ra
ced over to Devon. He was standing next to Justin, at the grill, and he was in the same outfit as earlier, only his hat was on his head. Fire tossed around low in my belly and I smiled. I had a solution that would fix everything.
“Amanda?”
I pushed my dripping hair away from my face and motioned between our bodies. “I have a way to solve our problem.”
He made a surprised face. “Oh, really?”
I nodded. “I’ve been hiding for so long, afraid that everyone would find out my secret. It’s making me miserable. I want to sleep with you again. I just can’t. I can’t chance you turning into my ex. But, if I tell everyone my secret, then it’ll be okay. You won’t have any power over me and I can sleep with you.”
Devon’s eyes went wide, and he started shaking his head. “You’re so drunk. Let’s not reveal any secrets tonight, okay?”
“I’m going to tell people about the porn. It’s not like I wanted to do it. I didn’t even know it was happening. They’ll understand. No one will hate me for it.”
Justin coughed and dropped a steak on the ground. Devon’s face had gone to pure rage. He jabbed Justin’s chest and shook his head. “Don’t mention that to anyone. She’s too drunk to know what she’s saying. I’m taking her home now.”
I sighed when he grabbed me and pulled me away from the party. “What’s wrong, Devon?”
He picked me up and moved toward his truck quickly. “You’re going to be very unhappy tomorrow. I just want to get you home and away from anyone else you could possibly speak to.”
“Can we sleep together when we get to my house? That was a lot of fun last time.”
Devon groaned and shoved me into the passenger side of his truck. “You’re a terrible drunk. Did you know that? I’m never telling you any of my secrets if you plan on drinking ever again.”
I grinned. “You’ve got secrets?”
“No. None. Promise to not throw up in my truck on the way home?”
I shrugged my shoulder. “I can’t make any promises.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of.”
