by Lila Felix
I got out and followed her as she walked backwards, facing me, towards the end of the boat. She wore one of those one piece—things—again. And when she turned around there was a red heart sewn onto her left butt cheek. The girl had a heart fetish for sure. And heels, sky high heels that made her short legs look longer and sleeker. And she walked differently in them. Her calves flexed and relaxed. I couldn’t take my eyes off of them.
As we got closer, I saw the boat had a sign that read ‘Whale and Dolphin Watching.’ She rang a bell at the entrance and waited until an older man, wearing white with a Captain’s hat on, approached. He greeted her with a tight embrace and a kiss on the cheek. She reached out for my hand and introduced me as her friend. That irked me, but we’d known each other a week, what could I really expect?
She asked permission to board and we got on the boat. She still had my hand and dragged me to a ladder which lead up to some kind of viewing deck with chairs and umbrellas. She went up the ladder first and certainly no porpoise or enormous mammal could ever be as spectacular as my view right then. She got to the top and turned around, a full blush had come to fruition on her cheeks.
“Dude, at least pretend you weren’t checking me out.” She giggled.
“Sorry, it’s not in me. I’m not very good at pretending,” I climbed up the ladder and sidled up next to her, “especially with you.”
We leaned against the railing as the boat began its voyage away from the dock. Her hair started to blow everywhere with the ocean wind and she pulled it all up in some kind of twisted knot on top of her head.
“So, do you actually see whales and dolphins or is it just for show?”
She took my chin in her right hand and turned my head seaward and pointed with the other finger. “Look and see if it’s just for show.” It took me a minute but then in the distance I saw the fins of a pod of dolphins. As the boat got further and further out the more dolphins we saw and then next to the boat, a huge fountain of water burst from the waves. A gigantic shadow moved through the water next to the boat. It was the biggest thing I’d ever seen in my life.
She must’ve seen the shock on my face. “Mad, that’s a Minke whale, it’s the smallest of the whales around here. I can’t imagine your face when you see a bigger one.”
“That’s small?” I asked.
“Yep. I can hold your hand if you’re scared.” She giggled.
“Or,” I pulled her by her waist between myself and the rail, “I can hold onto you.” I rested my chin on top of her head. I felt her body relax beneath mine.
“For someone who doesn’t have much experience with touching people, you sure are good at it.”
“You make it easy.” I told her. And it was true. Everything was difficult in life until there was Storey.
We watched the sea and the dolphins for the rest of the afternoon while we talked about anything and everything. She talked more about wanting to be a teacher and swore that one day she would convince me of the greatness that was reading. She informed me that she did a charity shoot for a calendar that helped the Captain’s handicapped son. In turn, he told her he would give her a free tour anytime she wanted. I talked about drawing buildings and plans when I was a kid. That’s why I wanted to be an engineer. I loved how things work. I loved to take things apart and see how they worked.
“So you still draw now,” she asked me, leaning her head back and looking up at me.
“I haven’t drawn anything in years.” We were quiet for the rest of the ride back to the dock. I had never been so content in all my life just to be still. We got off of the boat after thanking the Captain.
“I’m starving,” she said.
“Yes, I need pizza.” I said and I was surprised that it still made her laugh. I wasn’t very funny around her; Nixon would be complaining that I was ‘no fun’.
“No, no pizza. How about something messy?”
“Like…”
“Like the best burritos you’ve ever had.”
“So why’d you have me pack shorts if we weren’t gonna swim?”
She giggled and answered, “Because I thought maybe you’d like to swim with the dolphins but after seeing your face when you saw the whale, I figured you didn’t.”
We picked up burritos from a roadside stand that I swore was shady and she swore was the best place in town. We went back to the motel and ate at the rickety table. She had guacamole on the side of her mouth so I reached over with a napkin in my hand and wiped it off. We were sitting next to each other at that tiny table and my urge to kiss her was nearly impossible to restrain. She leaned into me, more of a sway than a purposeful movement.
“You have no clue how badly I want to kiss you.”
She popped back up to a sitting position, looking shocked.
“But…”
“But I’m not gonna here in a motel room. I want it to be right, for you and for me.”
“Wait, you haven’t kissed anyone.” It sounded like more of an accusation than a question.
“I’ve been kissed. I’ve been kissed a lot but it I’ve never kissed anyone. I’ve never purposefully wanted to run my fingers through a girl’s hair, take her face in my hands and kiss her until her toes curled. I’ve really never wanted to—until you.”
A blush flooded her face and I counted it as a point in my favor. I felt like a toddler walking for the first time. But the only thing I could do was put one foot in front of the other and look for the response from her to see if I was on the right path or not. It was completely frustrating and exhilarating at the same time.
“Damn, that was hot,” She said.
“What?” I needed her to walk me through it, so whatever it was I could be sure to repeat it.
“You, laying it all out like that. Most guys are bad with words and emotions. You can’t ever get them to tell you what they are feeling straight up. It’s a good thing, trust me.”
“I’ll remember that.”
She left a few minutes later and I asked her to call me when she got home. Thirty minutes later she hadn’t called and I teetered between calling her and waiting.
My phone rang and I dove onto the bed to answer it.
“Hello.”
“I’m sorry. I stopped at—a store and then got carried away. I just got home.”
“As long as you’re home and safe, I’m good.”
“Well, I am. Bye, Mad.”
“Goodnight, Sweetheart.”
Morning was upon me before I knew it. I showered and piddled around, pretending not to wait for her to call. My phone rang and it was Falcon. Why he would call me in the middle of his honeymoon confused me, but I answered anyway.
“Hello?” I answered.
“Hey Mad. How are you?” He acted like nothing was wrong. I expected my older brother to rip me a new asshole.
“I’m ok. Why are you calling me on your honeymoon.”
He cleared his throat which meant he would change the subject on me. I knew my brother. “Reed told us everything. It was hurting her too much to hold it in. And I know you don’t want her hurting. But I just want you to know that we love you and know that you have to do this. Do you need money?”
Leave it to Falcon to ask me about money. “I think I have enough, if I watch it.”
“Look, I’m gonna let Reed talk to you. I’m going to find a Western Union and send you more money. Go pick it up later, ok? And call once in a while. We miss you.”
“Ok, thank you Falcon. I’ll pay you back.”
“No you won’t. I won’t take it.” He laughed.
I heard the phone being handed off from Falcon to Reed. She told him she loved him and he told her he’d be back soon. I didn’t expect anything less from those two. I heard a knock at the door and I opened it while waiting for Reed to get on the phone. Storey stood in the doorway with a shopping bag in her hand. I pointed to the phone and she put her finger to those glorious lips and made a ‘Shhh’ sound. I sat on the bed and she put the bag on the table.
&n
bsp; “How mad are you like on a scale from one to twenty?” Reed finally joined me on the phone.
“I’m not Reed. Shit…I never wanted you stressed out because of me. You did what you had to, no worries. I’m just sorry I was too big of a wuss to tell them myself.”
I felt her warmth before she actually touched me. Then one leg came around either side of mine. I felt the bed shift as she moved closer and wrapped her arms around my stomach. Reed said something but all I could think about was Storey, wrapped around me, laying her head against my back.
“What?” I asked Reed.
“Weren’t you listening to me? Good Lord, what are you doing? Are you with a girl or something?” She laughed but I didn’t. I knew she would get it.
“Holy shit Mad, tell me you met a smokin’ chick in California.”
I held Storey’s hands with my free hand. “Yep, most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen in my life.”
“Let me talk to her now!” She screamed at me.
“Hell no, she doesn’t want to talk to your crazy ass.” But Storey pulled the phone from my ear.
“Hello?” She said. I probably should’ve listened to the rest of the conversation but the only thing I could hear was my own heartbeat in the cavity of my chest and the drums of my ears. The drumming was interrupted by her giggling behind me and I heard her agreeing to something. Then I really got scared. She handed the phone back to me and I said my half-witted goodbyes to Reed.
“She’s hilarious. Now wonder she’s your best friend.”
“She’s pretty great.” I got a text from Falcon. He’d already wired me money and it was ready to pick up.
“My brother sent me money. He’s like the Falcon Trust or something. I need to go pick it up.”
“Ok but first I have something for you.” How could she possibly give me any more than she already had?
She handed me the bag from the table and inside I found a drawing tablet, pencils, charcoals and everything else for drawing. I should’ve never told her I used to draw all the time.
“So, let’s go somewhere where you can draw something for me.”
“It’s been years since I drew anything.”
“Come on, please?” She pouted out her bottom lip and my tongue stroked my own bottom lip in wonder.
“Don’t do that. Do—not –do—that. It makes my resolve that much harder. In fact, let’s get out of here before I lose it.” She snickered at me and I picked up my new bag of art supplies and we left. She went to the passenger side of the Jeep and tossed me the keys. “Come on, you know you wanna drive.” I did.
I went to a small grocery store and picked up the money Falcon wired me. As the cashier counted it out, I nearly choked. He’d sent me three thousand dollars. Of course he sent me too much, he’s Falcon.
She pointed me in the direction of the highway and we followed the coast for about forty minutes before she had me turn off. Everything read Palos Verdes, so I assumed that’s where we were.
“Where to?”
“Just park up here and then we have to walk a while.”
“Ok,” I said. I felt like I was a tourist with her. I couldn’t wait until…and then it hit me. Maybe all we had was this summer. We were already almost to the end of June, which meant I only had a month left before I needed to get home. The sinking feeling of dread smothered me. I felt like I was choking.
What would I do if I never saw her again after next month? A lonely, empty future life flashed through my head. I needed her and for a lot more than a month.
“What happened Mad? You’re white as a ghost.” She put her hand on my forearm and I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding.
“Noth…”
“Oh no,” she lie blocked me. “You haven’t lied to me so far. Don’t start now. There’s nothing you can say to me that is gonna scare me away. Spill it.”
I parked and blew out another breath for good measure and turned to face her—might as well just lay it on the line.
“It just kinda hit me that I’ve only got one more month here. I—it’s just not enough time.”
A blush slithered up her neck and started to propagate along her jaw line, bound for her cheeks.
“Not enough time for what? To find your Dad?”
“What? No, I found him. I forgot to tell you. Not enough time for me to know all of you. Maybe not enough time to get you to fall for me.”
“You underestimate yourself Maddox…Hey! I don’t know what your middle name is.”
I tried not to smile at her, but she was so damned cute. “Fitzgerald. My grandfather was Fitzgerald. They called him Fitz.”
“That’s a pretty distinguished name. Like John Fitzgerald Kennedy. And no, I didn’t change the subject. It’s just that you couldn’t be more wrong. I’m already there. And anyway, I’m going to Loyola too.”
She sprung out of the Jeep before I could playfully reprimand her for not telling me about Loyola. A tidal wave of joy weaved its way through me, through my very veins. It wasn’t just the summer. There was a chance I could be with her for a long, long time.
I killed the Jeep and ran after her. She wore tennis shoes today and I missed the heels as I walked behind her. But she looked good in anything she wore. I ran a little to catch up with her and took her hand like I’d done it all my life. She didn’t even react, like it was second nature to her too.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked her after we’d walked a while.
“Well, in the beginning, after you told me, I thought you’d think I was kidding or trying too hard. So I didn’t tell you. But then in the car you looked so upset. And I’ve kinda taken comfort knowing that this summer wasn’t necessarily the end for me and you. So I wanted you to take comfort in that too. This is only the beginning for us.”
I stopped and pulled her to me, lifted her off the ground and held her as tight as I could without hurting her. “I was afraid of leaving—regretting leaving you.”
“I won’t let you leave me.”
I put her down and we continued walking. “Wait, where are we going?”
“You’ll see. You didn’t bring your sketch pad. That was the whole point.”
“The whole point was following you wherever you wanted me to go.”
“You treat me like there’s a crown on my head,” She whispered it so I wouldn’t hear her.
“To me, there is.” I said. We trekked about two miles before I saw what looked like the remains of a huge ship.
“What is that,” I asked. It was this enormous pile of a rusted away vessel.
“It was the SS Dominator. It was carrying goods South and it got stuck here. They tried to move it but couldn’t get it afloat again. So the crew abandoned it and the goods were sold by whoever could get their hands on it. And here it sits.”
We stayed there for a few hours. I held her hand all the time not just because I craved her touch but because there were all kind of jagged edges and rusted obstacles along the way. The sun peaked in the sky and I heard her stomach rumble.
“Ok, time to feed the model. And we still have to walk back,” I chastised her.
“Yes, I’m starving. Then let’s do something normal, like go to the movies.”
“Deal. Now please, please get off the rusty, sharp piece of crumbling ship and let’s go.”
The two miles back to the Jeep seemed like four mostly because we’d skipped breakfast and lunch had passed a while ago. We ate at another one of her scary roadside trucks and then I drove us past Los Angeles and into Santa Monica. We parked in an underground parking lot and headed for a movie theatre on the Promenade. We looked up at the pickings and there were three horror movies and one romantic comedy. I didn’t care at that point. I just wanted to get into the air conditioned building.
“Pick one.” I told her.
“Romantic comedy,” She said. I paid for the tickets. I stood back and watched while she picked out her snacks. It was an opportunity to know one more thing about her. She picked out gummy
worms, ordered popcorn and a Coke. “What do you want,” she asked me. As I watched her, the only thing I could think was that I wanted her. Who cared about cookie dough bites or nachos when she was in front of me?
“Um, I’ll just share with you.” I finally answered. I carried all her movie junk into the theater and we sat in the back. The cliché of sitting in the very back wasn’t lost on me but we were surrounded by other people. It was summertime after all.
The movie started and I tried so damned hard not to stare at her but she kept putting gummy worms in her mouth and it just accentuated the shape of her full lips. And they were always pink, not red like when she had lipstick on, but a deep pink, flushed like they had fever. When she pulled one half of a gummy worm from the half in her mouth they pouted out in a kissable pucker.
“It’s not a bad movie but you actually have to watch it.”
I tried not to smile at her. She reached over and put the tip of her finger in the dimple of my chin. I hated that dimple. It was the brunt of Owen’s butt-chin jokes since I was too little to hit back all the way through middle school.
“I love this dimple,” she whispered. She brought her finger back to her lips and kissed the tip of it and replaced it in my dimple. Opinion changed, best facial feature in the world.
I forced myself to watch the rest of the movie. It was cheese to the max but she enjoyed it. I waited after every punchline to hear the windchime laughter beside me. It had quickly become my favorite sound in the world.
She told me on the way home that she had a gig the next morning. I told her all about Einer and the way he’d acted. I told her about going back Saturday and she surprised me by asking if she could come with me. I said yes but it made me nervous. I had no clue how he would act when I went back and it scared me for Storey to be around him. What if it was more than a little nutty? What if he was dangerous? I would have to watch her like a hawk while we were there. Even if he was my father, he wouldn’t have the opportunity to think about getting near her. But I also needed an outside opinion on him. Maybe I had been too judgmental. I would let her be the jury.
