The colonel stared blankly, then blinked. “Kid, I don’t know what the zombie you’re talking about, but that’s just about the biggest whopper I’ve ever heard.”
“Not Whoppers,” Rice corrected. “BurgerDogs.”
“BurgerDog?”
“It’s that new fast-food joint, sir,” said the Sergeant.
“You know: ‘The burger that tastes like a dog,’” Private Michaels sang the advertising jingle.
“Yeah, exactly.” Zack nodded quickly. “The burgers are carrying the zombie virus, but Madison’s immune to zombification because she’s a vegan and she drinks, like, tons of this ginkgo biloba water.”
“Ginkgo baloney! It sounds to me like y’all evaded mandatory inspection and trespassed on restricted government property.”
Zoe let out a snot-strangled grunt.
“Why is that thing still sucking air, Sergeant?” Colonel Briggs asked.
Zack ran up to the colonel. “Sir, please, wait!”
“Young man, right now our top priority is eradicating every one of these brain-munchin’ hell-demons so the rest of us can survive.”
Zombie Zoe snapped and gargled inside her protective headgear. “I mean, look at her.” Briggs sighed. “It’s a no-brainer.”
“Permission to terminate, Colonel.” Private Michaels reached for his weapon.
“Wait!” Madison shouted. “I’ll prove it.” She hobbled past the two soldiers. Briggs raised his eyebrows.
“Madison, what are you doing?” Zack asked. “You don’t want to get bitten again.”
“Just thought of something. Watch.” She unraveled a section of the blood-soaked bandage wrapped around her zombie bite and dangled the red-stained gauze through Zoe’s facemask.
They all watched Zack’s sister chew and swallow the crimson gauze like a hungry llama at a petting zoo. The seconds plodded by, and Zoe’s subhuman moan subsided. The bumpy welts on her face began to simmer. Then the growling stopped altogether, and Zoe went limp.
A few moments later her eyes popped open, and her angry gaze settled on Zack. “You are dead meat, little bro!”
“Nuh-uh,” NotGreg said. “You were the dead one….”
“Shut up, Greg!” Zoe made an unpleasant face.
“That’s NotGreg,” Rice informed her.
“Yes, it is,” she said sternly.
“No,” Rice retorted. “It’s Not.”
“Just untie me,” Zoe demanded, squirming furiously. Nobody moved. “Now!”
NotGreg scrambled to his feet, yanked off Zoe’s chinstrap, and removed the helmet. He uncoiled the length of Mr. BowWow’s leash that was wrapped around her body, and Zoe sat up.
“Sweet Moses!” the sergeant exclaimed. Colonel Briggs’s mouth hung open as they both stared at the girl in disbelief.
“Why don’t you guys take a picture?” Zoe snapped. “It’ll last longer.”
Colonel Briggs and Sergeant Patrick huddled up, muttering in the hushed tones of adults devising secret plans.
“OMG, Mad, what happened?” Zoe gasped at her BFF. “I mean, you look really bad.”
Not as bad as you, Zack thought.
His sister’s face was still covered with snarled patches of fungal rot, and her black bangs were matted to her forehead like the shiny jaws of some black desert beetle. But despite her bedraggled appearance and a few open sores, Zoe was completely human once again.
“I remember you being way prettier, Mad,” Zoe went on rudely.
“You remember?” Rice asked.
“Of course I do, my little Johnston….” Zoe was practically the only person who didn’t call Rice by his last name. “I remember you being the nerdiest little nerd that ever nerded.”
“She seems totally normal,” Madison whispered to Zack.
“Oh yeah?” Rice shot back. “Well, you probably don’t have any brain damage, because you’d have to have a brain for that.”
Zoe raised her fist as if she was going to punch him. Rice recoiled and received two jabs in his upper arm.
“Listen, guys,” Ozzie interrupted. “I don’t mean to break up the reunion here, but my dad says we gotta get goin’….”
A few floors and a couple of elevators later, they reached a small, locked room off a narrow hallway.
“Ten-hut!” Colonel Briggs stopped and pressed his right palm on a black touch screen that scanned his handprint. He then pressed his eyeball up to a retinal recognition scanner, and the door handle blipped green.
“Welcome, Colonel,” a woman’s futuristic voice greeted him.
Zack peeked inside, expecting something straight out of a sci-fi movie, but the room was no bigger than a utility closet and contained just a red rotary phone mounted on the wall. Colonel Briggs entered the room and extracted a silver chain with a single silver key from the front of his shirt. He flipped a few knobs on the switchboard and inserted the key into the old-school phone. Then he picked up the receiver and dialed three times: seven-seven-seven.
Clickclick-clickclick-clickclick-ding!
“This is Colonel Briggs requesting immediate Psy Ops rendezvous with Tucson AFB…. Uh-huh…We’ve got a little girl here who may be the key to this whole zombie fiasco….” Colonel Briggs pinched his forehead and appeared to be deep in thought before launching into a complex series of code words: Eagle. Phoenix. Panda. Godfather. Running Dog. Niner. Pancake.
“What’s going on?” Rice asked.
“Looks like he’s callin’ in the big boys,” Private Michaels responded. “Your friend’s going to Washington. Probably get to see the White House…maybe even meet the prez.”
“Zack, I’m scared,” Madison said meekly. The sergeant and the private were now carrying her on Ozzie’s stretcher. “What are they gonna do with me?”
“Just wait and see what happens, okay? Everything’s gonna be fine.”
“Are you sure?”
No, Zack thought.
“Of course,” he assured her.
“Roger that.” The colonel hung up and turned to his men. “Take her down to medical and get her patched up before liftoff. I’ll meet you on the helipad.”
“Yes, sir!” They saluted in unison and started off down the hall with Madison.
“Wait!” Madison yelled, clutching Twinkles to her chest. “Don’t I even get to say good-bye?”
Colonel Briggs grunted, checking his watch. “Make it quick.”
The whole gang crowded around Sergeant Patrick and Private Michaels.
“Thanks for saving me at Albertsons, Madison,” Rice spoke first. “You were pretty cool tonight.”
“Thanks, nerd.” She held out her hand, balled into a fist. Rice gave her a pound and stepped away.
Now Zack stood in front of Madison.
“Zack, I don’t know what to say.” Madison looked at him, teary-eyed. “If it wasn’t for you, we’d all be zombies right now. Well, maybe not me, but you know…” She put her arms out for a friendly hug, and Twinkles licked Zack’s nose as he awkwardly embraced her.
NotGreg smiled and clasped his hands with approval, on the verge of happy tears. Zoe made a loud gagging sound.
“And Zoe,” Madison addressed her BFF. “I know you think your brother’s pretty lame…but he’s not that bad.”
Zoe nodded her head as if she finally understood. “You’ve lost a lot of blood, sweetie. And you’re delusional, so I’ll forgive you. Now I think you should let these nice hunky army guys take you to a doctor and make sure it’s nothing permanent.”
“All right, now,” Colonel Briggs exhaled. “Does everyone feel all warm and fuzzy?” They all nodded. “Well, isn’t that nice. Move out!”
“Good-bye, Ammonia.” NotGreg frowned as the soldiers carted Madison and Twinkles away. “It was nice meeting you!”
CHAPTER 4
Colonel Briggs led them quickly through the central corridor of the upper level. The hallway walls gleamed and sparkled, and Zack was glad to finally be someplace germless and sterilized.
Th
e colonel stopped before another futuristic-looking entrance and inserted his key. The high-tech stainless-steel doors separated, and Colonel Briggs ushered them single file into the air traffic control room.
A large flat-screen was mounted above a giant control board. The monitor displayed six different squares, recording various angles from security cameras around the base.
Behind the digital console and video display, a curved prism of slanted glass overlooked the military complex. Outside, two enormous spotlights panned across the zombie-filled landscape. The undead hordes marched like drones across the desert flatlands, limping and staggering toward the security fences around the base. Zombies climbed over zombies, clawing at the crisscrossed metal barrier.
“All right, listen up!” Colonel Briggs bellowed from the doorway. His voice sent a shiver up Zack’s spine. “This room is impenetrable. Do not even think about leaving without my say-so. Is that clear?”
“Yes, sir!” they replied.
“And don’t touch anything,” Colonel Briggs said brusquely. He turned and walked out of the room. The double doors slid automatically closed, and the kids were alone. The control room was quiet. NotGreg picked his nose.
“Your dad’s mean,” Zoe said, breaking the silence.
“He’s just strict, that’s all.” Ozzie leaned over the console, peering at the security monitors.
Rice jumped into the seat behind the controls. “This place is sick! Just like in the movies.” He twirled in the whirly-chair.
Just then, something buzzed, and Zoe jumped straight up. Her hip pocket was vibrating. “Ooh, goody! Texts!” She pulled out her cell phone. “I forgot all about you,” she said, and gave it a kiss. “Excuse me, la-hoo-zers. I have to go be popular now.”
Whoop-whoop-whoop!
All of a sudden the room lights dimmed. Red warning sirens blared and flashed in the top corners of the room.
“Uh-oh,” Ozzie said. “That’s not good.”
“Wha-wha-what’s not good?” NotGreg bit his fist.
“That!” Ozzie pointed at the security monitors.
Zack and Rice peered over Ozzie’s shoulder, watching the display screens. A ferocious throng of zombified civilians piled up outside the barbed wire fences. Gray, flaking hands gripped the chain-link, shaking it violently. Eyeballs and fingertips littered the gravel.
“OMG, you guys!” Zoe called from the other side of the room. “Samantha Donovan ate Rachel Schwartz’s face off!”
“Nobody cares!” Zack snapped at his sister.
Zack turned his attention back to the surveillance screen. Colonel Briggs and Sergeant Patrick were down on the runway with Madison, waiting for the chopper. Ozzie tapped a couple of buttons on the keyboard. The image zoomed and enhanced. The colonel screamed orders into his walkie-talkie. Madison was wailing, trying to limp away. Sergeant Patrick snatched her with one arm and tossed her over his shoulder. She kicked the air and beat the sergeant’s back with her fists, yelling something at the top of her lungs.
Zack strained his eyes, trying to read her lips. It looked like she was saying…
“Twinkles!” Rice shouted, pointing at the other split screen. The security fence bent and toppled, and the tiny pup darted heedlessly into the desert through a treacherous gauntlet of shuffling feet and bouncing eyeballs.
The warning siren continued to flash and blare throughout the control room.
Zoe stepped behind the boys, scrolling through her in-box. “Jamie Dumpert has no eyeballs…Hah!” She let out a goofy guffaw, clicking through her zillionth text message. “O…M…G!”
“Zoe, I swear if you even say one more—”
“This one’s from Mom and Dad, turd breath!” Zoe cut Zack off.
“What? What does it say?” Zack asked.
“Oh, I see.” Zoe paused. “Now you’re interested in my popularness.”
“Zoe!”
His sister cleared her throat. “It says: ‘Dearest daughter, we love you so. We always will. It’s time for your brother to know the truth. Zack…is adopted.’”
“Shut up, Zoe,” Zack grumbled.
She clicked another button. “It’s a video text, dweeb-azoid….”
“When did they send it?” he asked.
“Half hour ago,” Zoe replied.
They’re still alive…, he thought.
The video took a few seconds to load. Zack watched over his sister’s shoulder as their parents’ grainy faces appeared on the tiny digital screen. They were huddled under a desk, half in shadow. The video message settled on a shaky handheld close-up of Mrs. Clarke’s face. Her voice was hushed and difficult to hear through the low-quality audio.
“…Is it going?…I don’t know…. Kids? We’re still at school…. We want you to know that we love you…and if we make it out of here, this will definitely be our last parent-teacher night.” A loud crash sounded in the background. “Did you hear that?…Shhhhh…”
The screen went black.
A feeling of dread expanded in the pit of Zack’s stomach. Were his mom and dad okay? There was only one way to find out….
But just then, a bright dazzle of light beamed down through the windows. “What is that?” Zoe asked as the spotlight passed overhead.
“It’s here!” Ozzie shouted. “The chopper!” They leaned over the console, watching the monitors.
The jet-black helicopter hovered above the zombie-laden runway. A rope ladder dropped into view, swaying a few feet over the center of the landing pad. Madison scanned the zombie-infested landscape for her lost puppy as she climbed shakily to the top rung, where two men in dark suits and sunglasses pulled her safely aboard. The chopper lifted into the black, star-spangled sky.
“Yay!” NotGreg shouted. He jumped onto one of the whirly-chairs, zooming around with his arms out, pretending to be an airplane. Zack watched as the rolling chair suddenly tipped backward, and NotGreg bashed his chin against the control board before landing on the floor with a thud.
Another loud buzzer sounded, and a woman’s calm, digitized voice came over the air force base’s alert system. “Three minutes until automatic lockdown. Repeat. Three minutes…”
“You moron!” Ozzie cussed, tapping frantically at the keyboard.
NotGreg’s head tilted to the side. His eyes shut and he conked out on the floor. Zack knelt down, trying to shake him awake.
“Ozzie,” Zack said. “Do that thing you did to me with the smelly salts.”
“Those were all I had….” He grimaced.
“Whoa!” Rice pointed at the security cams. On-screen, Sergeant Patrick and Colonel Briggs were still down on the airstrip. They were surrounded, trapped in a thick ring of converging zombies. The colonel and the sergeant fought bravely, throwing punches, side by side.
Ozzie gulped, his eyes widening.
Zack felt nauseous, thinking about his own mom and dad trapped in a school full of zombies.
Just then, the sputtering sound of gunfire muttered through the walls. “What was that?” Rice asked. They whipped their heads around and scanned the surveillance monitors.
A massive pack of zombie freaks stormed through the military complex, clogging up a four-way corridor. Private Michaels knelt in the intersection, scrambling to reload. He smacked in his last ammo cartridge, but the thick crowd of zombies mauled the private before he could get a shot off.
“Dang!” Ozzie swore. “They’re on our floor.”
“How’d they get up here so fast?” Zack asked, a slight panic in his voice.
“I don’t know,” Ozzie said. “But they’re here.”
Zack’s eyes wandered back to the display screen that showed the helipad. A dense swarm of mutated lunatics filled the monitor. No sign of the colonel or the sergeant.
“Two minutes until automatic lockdown,” the robot voice warned.
“You guys, we have to get out of here….” Zack replayed the video over again in his mind. “We’ve got to get back to Phoenix and save our parents.”
�
��What about NotGreg?” Zoe asked. “He’s too cute to get eaten.”
NotGreg sucked his thumb, knocked out on the cold, hard floor.
“He’ll be safe here. You heard what my dad said,” Ozzie told them.
“Then what are we waiting for?” Zack asked.
“But we do things my way. Got it?” shouted Ozzie.
“Got it!” Rice yelled.
“Got it,” Zack mumbled.
“Whatever you say, hotness.” Zoe smacked the automatic button on the wall, and the doors opened. “Let’s go!”
CHAPTER 5
White emergency lights flashed like strobes overhead, as Zack, Rice, Ozzie, and Zoe raced into the corridor. A thick pack of mangled arms and legs surged around the corner, as a decaying heap of bowlegged zombies funneled into the linoleum hall.
“Other way!” Zack shouted.
They doubled back, skidding around the opposite corner. At the far end, a second ghastly gaggle of zombies jam-packed the hallway, heading straight for them. They were trapped, caught between two slow-motion droves closing in on both fronts.
“Shoot!” Zack shouted. “What do we do?”
“I’ll handle this,” Ozzie said, unhooking the nunchaku from the metal clasp on his army pack.
“Dude, you better be Bruce Lee if you’re planning to fight through all those things,” Zack said. He stared past Ozzie at the gruesome horde tottering psychotically down the corridor. The zombies groaned, retching up slime as they waddled forward. A haze of stench hovered around them, filling the hallway with the rotten stink of death.
Zoe dashed to the only door on the hallway and yanked it open. “Stupid closet!”
“What’s in it?” Zack brushed his sister out of the way.
A yellow bucket filled with old filthy water and a mop stood next to two push brooms in the corner. Zack grabbed a detergent bottle off the shelf, squeezed some soap into the nasty bilge water, and swished the suds around with the mop. “Here.” He handed the brooms to Zoe. “Give one to Rice.”
Undead Ahead Page 2
