“Son, this isn’t a joke. This is a matter of national security.”
Zack put his sneakers, baseball bat, and Swiss army knife in the plastic bin, slid it into the carry-on scanner, and stepped through the metal detector.
“Arms out,” the old man instructed. Zack groaned and put his arms out to the sides. The ancient security officer swiped the magnetic wand up and down his rib cage.
“Sneerglsplargh…raah!” The zombies reached out, grabbing and grunting, getting closer and closer with every moan.
Rice shuffled out of his shoes and tossed his backpack onto the conveyer belt. His zombie survival pack passed across the black-and-white X-ray monitor in negative. The screen showed the severed zombie fingertips twitching inside the Ziploc baggie, which also contained the diseased BurgerDog. A six-pack of snack-size potato chips lay crushed under the bottles of ginkgo biloba tablets. Crumpled homework assignments were crammed between an assortment of steel wool, duct tape, batteries, hand sanitizer, binoculars, a first aid kit, and a box of Twinkies.
“Mmm-hmmmmmm…” The old codger squinted at the X-ray as the zombies thrashed in the tangled lane behind them. “Please step through the metal detector, son.”
Rice took one giant step through the magnetic doorway and stood still. Beeep!
The guard motioned Rice back through the detector. “Empty your pockets and come through again.”
The zombies were a few feet away from devouring Rice.
“Sir, just let him through,” Zack pleaded. “They’re gonna rip his arms off!”
“I don’t make the rules, sonny boy. Again, please.”
The zombies were breathing down Rice’s neck—hot, pukey huffs of steam—as he frantically emptied his pockets of loose change and day-old Tater Tots. Behind him, a pale gray arm stretched out of its socket, reaching for Rice’s shirt collar. The undead fingers were pruned and wrinkly, as though they had been too long in the shower.
In a flash, Rice ducked down and whacked the old security officer in the shin with his field hockey stick just as another zombie arm swiped overhead, humming through the air. Rice dove through the X-ray machine, and the old man howled, hopping on one leg and shaking his fist.
“Zack!” Rice cried from inside the machine.
Zack looked at the X-ray of Rice’s skull. “Rice!”
“Zack!” Rice’s skeleton shouted hysterically from inside the machine. “I’m stuck!”
Zack reached in through the black rubber curtains and pulled Rice hard by the wrists. Just then, one of the zombies snatched Rice by the foot on the opposite side of the scanner.
“It’s got me!” Rice screamed.
“Hold on!” Zack braced the soles of his feet against the machine’s steel frame in a life-or-undeath tug-of-war. On a count of three, Zack yanked as hard as he could, and Rice came flying through the curtains, landing in a crumpled pile behind him. Zack skidded to get out of the way and fell with a thud on the hard smooth floor.
The zombie wriggled through the scanner, screaming like a mad demon.
Zack spotted his aluminum bat and pulled himself to his feet. He clobbered the screeching zombie, and then he rushed over to his pal.
“Rice? Dude?” Zack bent down and shook his buddy.
Rice’s head flopped to one side, and his tongue lolled out of his mouth. Zack put his ear to his friend’s chest, listening for a heartbeat.
“Rice, this isn’t funny!”
But Rice wasn’t moving. He was completely limp, just lying there as the zombies raged behind the Plexiglas security divider.
“Rice!”
CHAPTER 15
Gray plastic bins flew through the air as the knuckle-dragging mutants bottlenecked at the metal detectors, dragging the black vinyl straps and weighted metal stanchions like a zombie chain gang.
“Rice!” Zack shook his best friend as hard as he could.
Suddenly, Rice’s eyes popped open. “Gotcha!” He smiled, jumped up, and dusted himself off, slinging his pack over one shoulder.
“Dude! You really need to stop doing that!” Zack yelled as they dashed for the boarding gates.
A short way down the wide, endless corridor, an abandoned golf cart was parked in front of a BurgerDog X-press. The boys hopped in, and Zack sat behind the wheel.
“Thanks for saving me back there, man,” said Rice.
“Sorry it wasn’t Ozzie,” Zack replied sarcastically.
“What’s your problem?” Rice asked.
Zack sighed. “You know, it’s just, like, you’re my best friend and stuff, and then Ozzie shows up and it’s, like…” Zack couldn’t bring himself to tell Rice about his sickening fear of dropping to number two on his best friend’s speed dial.
All of a sudden, a huge pack of googly-eyed ghouls thrashed out of a bookstore, sending the twirly racks of postcards and bestsellers crashing to the slime-spackled linoleum. “Umm, Zack?” Rice interrupted. “Can we maybe talk about this later?” He pointed at the staggering green-eyed monsters.
Zack pressed the GO pedal, and the cart took off under the BurgerDog GRAND OPENING banner that hung across the high ceiling. They zoomed through the terminal, toward the distant boarding gates and away from the gathering zombie swarm.
A few minutes later, they hopped off the cart and stared out the giant windows overlooking the runway. “Where are they?” Rice asked.
“I don’t know, but they better get here soon,” said Zack, looking back the way they came.
The zombies were marching up the shiny metal corridor, their jaw muscles tightening and flexing. Their veiny necks flared with pulsing blood vessels and tendons, and their mucus-fed throats expanded and contracted with regurgitated phlegm. They waggled their arms like a parade of sleepwalkers, and from a distance, it seemed that all they really wanted were hugs.
Then, through the window, Zack saw the hot blast of a jet engine, and a commercial airliner pulled into view. Ozzie saluted from the cockpit. Zoe and Twinkles sat in the copilot’s seat. She waved “hello” to the boys with the puppy’s paw.
“Quick!” Rice raced over and opened the door to the boarding tunnel.
Zack dashed for the open entrance, looking over his shoulder at the dense mass of snargling fiends behind them.
“Wait!” Rice screamed.
But it was too late.
There was no boarding tunnel, and Zack was already treading air like Wile E. Coyote off the edge of a cliff. He hovered for a moment and then fell between the terminal and the airplane. He caught the edge of the doorframe, swinging one-handed by his fingertips. A curious bunch of gnarly-eyed traffic controller zombies gathered below, gazing up with tongues wagging. Zack dangled above his doom: a fifteen-foot free fall into the waiting throng of brain-craving mutants.
“Zack, gimme your other hand!”
“I can’t!” Zack cried, barely holding on.
Rice’s eyes burned dark with supreme confidence. “Yes,” he said, “you can!”
Zack flung his free hand up, and Rice snagged his buddy’s wrist, pulling him up from certain death. Zack scrambled back up to the boarding area.
“Thanks, Rice,” Zack huffed as Rice helped him to his feet. “Sorry about…you know.”
“It’s cool.” Zack and Rice clasped each other’s thumbs as if they were about to arm wrestle and hugged it out, patting each other firmly on the back.
But the tender moment was interrupted as Zack caught sight of the herd of gruesome zombie brutes getting even closer, growling and gnashing what remained of their teeth.
Snap! Snap!
“Grahrlgh!”
The zombified airport personnel waddled into the waiting area.
“That way!” Rice pointed across the boarding gate to a staircase. The boys raced away from the zombies and descended under a sign with arrows pointing the way: GROUND TRANSPORTATION/ BAGGAGE CLAIM.
The zombies chased clumsily after Zack and Rice, tumbling undead-over-heels down the flight of steps. The boys took off running through
the lower level as the ghouls toppled into a hideous pile of snapped bones and decomposing skin behind them.
Straight ahead, the baggage carousel rotated cheerfully with a single unclaimed suitcase taking a ride on the merry-go-round.
Zack and Rice hopped on and squatted down, riding through the black curtains of the restricted area. Outside, they jumped off the carousel and dashed into the bright mid-morning sun.
Looking back, they saw the blurry figures of zombies staggering across the runway, wavering like a mirage in the gas fumes of the jet and the desert heat radiating off the asphalt.
Straight ahead, a staircase lowered from the front side of the airplane. Zack and Rice climbed aboard. The staircase rose, and the hatch shut.
The boys collapsed into the safety of first-class air travel.
Zoe stood over her brother and his best friend. She looked almost happy to see them. “Good job, geekazoids,” she said.
Zack and Rice panted, exhausted, and Twinkles licked the sweat off of Zack’s forearm.
Ozzie poked his head out of the cockpit. “Welcome aboard, fellas!” He was wearing big sunglasses and a headset with a microphone and an antenna. “Couldn’t tell if you were gonna make it back there.” He chuckled.
“Close call,” Zack panted.
Ozzie flicked some switches and shifted the throttle. “Grab a seat, guys. We’re ready for takeoff.”
And with that, the jumbo jet started to rumble.
CHAPTER 16
Zack’s ears popped as they cruised to higher altitude, leveling off in the white cloud vapor of an otherwise clear blue sky.
Ding!
“Feel free to move about the cabin.” Their captain’s voice projected overhead.
But Zack didn’t feel like moving. He’d been awake for so long that his body was weary, ready to nap in the fresh-smelling leather seat. Twinkles plopped his head in Zack’s lap and sighed.
“Okay, guys…,” Rice called from the little kitchen at the front of the plane. “They got Muncharoos, which I think are like Cheetos, except with a kangaroo. From down undah, mate!” Rice did a weird Australian accent.
“What else?” Zoe asked.
“They also have chocolate-covered pretzels and…that might be it.”
“Chocolate pretzels are yum.” Zoe eagerly unlocked her tray-table.
“Bag of Muncharoos.” Zack yawned groggily.
“What’s the magic word?”
“Please,” Zack added. Rice didn’t move, waiting for Zoe.
“Now!” she insisted.
Rice grabbed the snacks, walked down the aisle, and dished out their orders before heading back to the kitchen area.
“I must say, dear brother, I’m much more fond of him when he’s being our servant.” Zoe laughed haughtily.
“URGLE SPLARGH KAH!” resounded from the pantry.
Rice screamed at the top of his lungs, and Zack shot up in his seat. A deranged zombie flight attendant had his buddy by the throat and was wringing Rice’s neck.
Rice grabbed the mutant flight attendant by the throat, too, and they waltzed in place like a zombie slow dance, gagging away.
“What the—?” Zack bolted down the center aisle.
“Help!” Rice coughed and sputtered, locked in the two-way stranglehold.
The zombie flight attendant thrust its face forward and snarled, spewing spittle as it frothed at the mouth like a rabid dog.
Rice’s eyes were bloodshot, road-mapped with red veins. Zack lunged at the duo and grabbed the zombie by the hair, pulling back as hard as he could. The flight attendant let go of Rice’s jugular and elbowed Zack in the nose. Zack fell back, and Rice broke free and toppled onto Zack.
The in-flight lunatic towered over the boys.
“Ahhhh!” Zack and Rice screamed together, holding each other like a couple at a horror movie.
All of a sudden, Zoe thumped down the aisle and threw a running haymaker with her right hand. BAM! She finished with a left uppercut. POP! The zombie dropped to the ground. Zoe rubbed her knuckles and shook her hand.
Rice massaged his throat and swallowed hard. “Tanx,” he rasped.
“My pleasure, Ricee-poo.” Zoe made a muscle and kissed it.
“C’mon, help me get rid of this thing.” Zack picked up the zombie by its ankles.
Zack and Zoe dragged the unconscious flight attendant to the back of the plane and tossed her in the coach bathroom.
Back in first class, they rode in silence. Zack sipped a soda, twitchy-eyed with sleep. He sunk his head into a pillow and drifted in his thoughts. He tried to settle into the throb of the jet, but whenever he closed his eyes, all he saw were floating zombie heads imprinted on the backs of his eyelids like a slideshow. He couldn’t stop thinking about his mom and dad locked up in the bank vault. Zombified.
Zack pulled the shade down on the too-bright window. Rice appeared with a little red fleece blanket and tucked him in. And finally, Zack dozed off into a dreamless sleep.
Hours later, Zack woke up with a start. He opened his shade and peered outside. The bright morning sun had been replaced with a somber late afternoon light, even darker as they hurtled into a thick cloud. The inside of the airplane dimmed.
Zack looked to his right. Rice was snoring, fast asleep. Zoe was standing over him with a Sharpie, preparing to scribble something on his forehead.
All of a sudden, the cabin started to shake and rattle as if there were an earthquake in the sky.
“Ozzie!” Zoe shouted up to the cockpit. “What the heck are you doing?”
The jumbo jet started to corkscrew, and Rice woke up suddenly. “We’re going down!” he shouted over the shriek of the juddering aircraft.
The FASTEN SEATBELT sign dinged on. Yellow oxygen masks dropped from the overhead bins. The snack cart flew out of the pantry, crashing down the aisle.
Twinkles bolted for Zack’s lap, his ears flat against his head. Zack, Zoe, and Rice sat back stiffly in their seats.
Zoe turned to the boys. “Before we all die I—I…I just want to say that I’m sorry for always being so mean to the two of you. I love you, little bro! There, I said it.”
“I love you, too, man!” Rice shouted to Zack.
“I love both you guys!” Zack closed his eyes and prayed they wouldn’t crash.
No one said anything as the airplane dipped and swerved in the thunderstorm.
CRACK! BOOM!
“Okay, so now you guys apologize to me,” Zoe said.
“For what?” Zack yelled over the rumbling chaos.
“For always being little nerd-mongers and provoking my meanness,” she explained. A hollow rumble of thunder sounded. Lightning zapped outside the windows.
“Okay, okay,” Rice said, terrified. “I’m sorry your face got all messed up.”
Zoe crinkled her brow, dissatisfied. “It has to be something you did, dorkus.”
The plane tilted suddenly, and everyone jerked.
“Fine!” Zack shouted. “When you busted through my bedroom door and tried to eat me, it felt kind of good to bash you over the head.”
“Hey,” Zoe said. “That’s mean!” She looked over to Rice. “Well? What do you have to say for yourself?”
All of a sudden, the airplane leveled off.
“Well?” Zoe crossed her arms, still glaring at Rice.
The overhead lights came back on, and the cabin repressurized. Rice said nothing and stuck out his tongue.
Ozzie’s voice came on over the loudspeaker. “Sorry, kids, just a little turbulence. There’s a storm a-brewin’. It’s gonna be a bumpy landing.”
CHAPTER 17
The plane soared over the zombie-speckled parkway below. Zack caught the bird’s-eye view through the oval window. The tottering masses looked like ants on the ground. There were no headlights. No cars driving at all. Just bursts of lightning illuminating the road, which was teeming with tiny ghouls.
The stormy East Coast city was crawling with the undead.
The nose of
the jumbo jet tipped down slightly through the harsh, whipping wind of the dark Washington, D.C., storm.
Finally, the wheels of the plane touched down on the rain-swept pavement of George Washington Memorial Parkway. The jet bounced back up, and Zack felt his stomach churn the way it did during a dip on a carnival ride. The entire cabin jolted. Zack, Rice, and Zoe bobbled around in their seats, rigid with fear. Zack hugged Twinkles securely in his arms. The puppy whimpered as the massive aircraft rocked to a stop.
Ozzie stepped out from the cockpit. “That went pretty well,” he said confidently. “You guys ready to do this?” He grabbed the field hockey stick off the floor.
Zoe sat stiff in her seat, still clutching the armrests, eyes bulging. She didn’t look ready at all.
“Chill, Zoe.” Rice patted her on the head and grabbed his bag.
“Put Twinkles in there,” Zack said. “I don’t want him running away again.”
“Good call, Zack Attack!” Rice pulled open the zipper.
“Not that pocket,” Zack directed, eyeing Rice’s specimens. “I don’t want him eating any more BurgerDog, either. And don’t call me Zack Attack.”
Rice put Twinkles in the other pouch.
Zack glanced outside through the little window. “What time is it here?”
“Little after six,” Ozzie said, slamming his elbow pad into the palm of his hand.
Ozzie popped the side hatch open, and they jumped onto the roadway. Huge, dark-green trees thrashed in the cold, wild wind. A vast plague of rain-drenched beasts shambled along the pavement. Zoe, Rice, Ozzie, and Zack shot past the zombie fiends and headed off the side of the road. They trampled down a hill through some tall, marshy grass and came to the edge of a great river, which looked ready to flood.
A flash of lightning lit up the sky.
Zoe shrieked—the zombies were sloshing and stumbling after them.
“Look.” Ozzie pointed upstream.
Not too far away, a bridge spanned the river. “Run for it!” Zack shouted, and they booked it along the riverbank.
Undead Ahead Page 7
