by Vikki Vaught
Pulling her back into his arms, Hanford said, “Come on, Helen. Please let me make love to you. I promise you’ll like it even more than what you just experienced.”
“No! I can’t let you do that. It wouldn’t be right,” she said, feeling tears pool in her eyes, but determined not to cry, she continued, “I should have made you stop…before I did. I won’t deny that what you did felt wonderful…but I can’t allow it to go any further, not until you’ve declared yourself…Hanford.”
Hanford released her, looked into her limpid blue eyes and sighed. “You’re right. That was inexcusable. I shouldn’t have taken advantage of your innocence, but you’re so sweet, I couldn’t resist the temptation. I do hold you in very high esteem and respect you tremendously. I just let my desire overcome me. We’ll talk again soon about everything…very soon.”
Helen and Hanford silently walked back to the blanket, packed up the basket, and got back into his phaeton. When he returned her to the house, he lifted her down from his phaeton, holding onto her waist as he slowly lowered her to the ground, the whole time staring intently into her eyes.
“Thank you for coming on the picnic today. We’ll talk soon, I promise. Helen, I have to go out of town for a few days, but I’ll be calling on you as soon as I return. Think about me while I’m gone, as I’ll be thinking of you, my dear.” Then with a piercing look in his silver eyes, he raised her hand to his lips and kissed her delicate fingers, then escorted her into the house and left.
A week went by and Helen didn’t hear from Hanford. She knew he was back in town, because she read about the bill he was pushing through Parliament in the paper. She couldn’t understand why he hadn’t contacted her when he returned to town. They hadn’t attended any of the same parties either. She was beginning to feel he was avoiding her, and it was making her very apprehensive. She wished he’d said more about his intentions. She shouldn’t have let him take such liberties with her person. It was driving her mad wondering if something was wrong.
Even though Helen was keeping herself busy between volunteering at the orphanage and all the parties she had been going to, it was difficult when she loved him so much. Each day her feelings grew stronger, but a lump of cold fear lay in her belly when she thought about what she’d allowed him to do to her.
Oh, why had she let her emotions run away with her?
Hanford must think she was fast, and that was why she hadn’t heard from him. Tears pooled in her eyes as she wondered if she had ruined any chance that he would ask her to marry him.
What gentleman wanted a woman too free with her favors?
Hanford had a very self-gratifying smile on his face after his meeting with Lord Stanton. Stanton had heard that Hanford had been squiring Lady Helen around London and had rushed to town. Not only was he now ready to accept Hanford’s demands, Stanton had even added to the marriage contract. Now Hanford wouldn’t even have to wait until the old man died to enjoy his property. Upon his marriage to Lady Penelope, Stanton would immediately turn over the estate in Surrey to Hanford. Of course, he would have to put up with Lady Penelope, but Hanford was confident that he’d be able to control her shrewish ways. After all, there had never been a woman he hadn’t been able to control.
Hanford still regretted that he hadn’t been able to get Lady Helen in his bed. The silly little fool had grown scared. Even though Helen had been greatly aroused, her prudishness had made her stop him when he’d been so close to having her delectable body. Her luscious breasts had filled his hands to overflowing, and though it was more than a week since he’d touched her, he could still smell her scent on his hands where he’d stroked her sweet little quim.
Oh well, some things were just not meant to be.
Shrugging his shoulders, Hanford entered his carriage and settled back against the cushions. His cock was heavily engorged just thinking about Lady Helen, so he unbuttoned his fall and began to stroke it as he remembered how luscious Helen was. Soon he had himself aroused to fever pitch, and his cum shot out of his cock as he slumped back against the cushions. If nothing else, he could use his fantasies of Helen to wile away the time. At least, he would still be able to keep his mistress once he married Lady Penelope since he knew she wouldn’t entice him the way Helen had. Feeling stated, he quickly buttoned up his fall since the carriage was slowing down and coming to a stop.
Hanford entered Brook’s and spied his friend Elton across the room. As he took his seat, Hanford smiled sardonically at him. “Well, it’s all finalized. The earl has agreed to go ahead and turn his property over to me just as soon as Lady Penelope and I are married. Her dowry is even larger than I expected. This will be a very advantageous match and will bring some much needed funds into my coffers.”
Elton looked surprised. “That was quick. I thought you said it would be next month before everything would be finalized.”
“Lord Stanton heard that I was spending time with Lady Helen, and he got scared that I was pursuing her instead of his daughter. So, he caved in and gave me everything I was asking for and more. Lady Helen accomplished exactly what I was hoping for, and I even had the pleasure of spending time with her. It’s just a shame that she didn’t have the property I wanted, because I find her much more appealing than Lady Penelope.”
“With you spending so much time with her lately, the books were full of wagers about the two of you. Your marriage to Lady Penelope will come as quite a shock to everyone. I just hope the Duke of Sanderford doesn’t take offense to what you’ve done.”
“What can he do?” Hanford derisively asked. “If he were to challenge me to a duel, it would ruin Lady Helen. No, he’ll not run the risk of doing anything that would hurt Lady Helen’s chances of making a good match. Besides, I never told her what my intentions were.”
“Well, I hope you’re right, because the Duke of Sanderford is not anyone I would ever want as an enemy.”
“He can’t touch me. I’m just as powerful as he is anyway, if not more so. Come on, let’s go to the new gaming hell you told me about. Now that I’m going to be extremely flush in my pockets, I’m anxious to indulge in some of the many pleasures available there.” With an expression of triumph on his face, they left Brook’s and headed out to the gaming hell.
Chapter 3
May 1820
A few days later, Aunt Miriam came to Helen’s room. Her expression was odd, and it made Helen nervous. She couldn’t imagine why she looked so troubled.
Aunt Miriam hesitated. “My dear…there’s an article in the society pages…and I wanted to talk to you about it. I know you’ve been seeing quite a bit of the Duke of Somerset this season. Helen, the paper has an announcement in it. It appears that he’s going to marry…Lady Penelope. I know this may be upsetting for you because I believe you had expectations that he would offer for you. I’m so sorry, Helen.”
Helen just sat there…she couldn’t believe it. How could he do this to her? He’d practically told her he would be declaring himself when he returned. Why would he have been so attentive if he was planning on marrying Lady Penelope? All her fears had been true. By allowing him to touch her, he’d turned away from her in disgust. The tears started streaming down her pale cheeks. She wiped them away. “Are you sure about this? I’d like to see the paper, please.”
“Of course, my dear. I’ll go get the paper now.” Then she left the room.
Helen just sat on the side of her bed staring, not looking at anything in particular, stunned by what Aunt Miriam had told her. Aunt Miriam returned and handed the paper to Helen, and there it was in print. The announcement said they were to be married in a month at St. George’s in Hanover Square. The pain was so excruciating, she just knew her heart would split in two.
She quietly said, “I would like to be alone, please.”
Aunt Miriam came over to Helen and tried to hug her, but Helen shrugged her off, so she sighed and silently left Helen’s room.
Helen didn’t come out of her room for three days. She didn’t even wan
t to see Kathryn. After the third day, she came down to breakfast. Her mirror showed her she looked a fright. She was very pale with dark circles under her pain-filled eyes, which were red and puffy. She looked as if she’d been crying the entire three days. When she walked into the breakfast room, Kathryn got up and went to her to give her a hug, but Helen shrugged her off, still not wanting to be touched.
Helen went to the sideboard, filled her plate, and then sat down across from Kathryn. “I don’t want to discuss the duke’s engagement. Obviously, I was mistaken when I thought he had feelings for me. I’m going to put this behind me, and I’d like your help. I’d appreciate it if you don’t mention his name in my presence again.”
“Whatever you think is best. Just know that I’m here for you. I think that it’s despicable, what he’s done. He all but asked you to marry him, and then he went off and asked that shrew instead!”
“As I’ve already stated, I don’t want to discuss him ever again. I’m going to put this all behind me. Do you know where Aunt Miriam is this morning? I want to see what invitations we have for the next few days. I want to go to as many parties and balls as possible. I’m going to dance and enjoy myself. I’ll never let him know how much he’s hurt me!”
Kathryn looked shock, but then she answered, “I believe she’s still in her room. I’m pleased to hear that you plan to get back out into society right away. How do you feel about facing…ah…him, if you happen to see him at a ball or some other party?”
Helen looked her straight in the eye. “I hope that I do so I can give him the cut direct!”
Helen went up to Aunt Miriam’s room, looked over all the invitations, and chose quite a few that she wanted to attend. Since there were invitations for every night and sometimes two in an evening, she had her pick of parties. That was exactly what she did for the next month. Helen danced and flirted outrageously with all the men. She laughed at everything they had to say, making them all feel as if they were important to her, but deep inside Helen felt tormented.
At times, the feelings of guilt overwhelmed her when she thought of what she had allowed the duke to do to her. In her heart, she believed she had ruined her chances with him by allowing him those liberties. Helen had learned a very valuable lesson. She would never give her heart again. If men could be heartless…then so could she!
The Duke of Somerset married Lady Penelope on the tenth of May in a lavish affair held at St. George’s in Hanover Square, with most of the ton in attendance. Helen, Kathryn, and Lady Helton made sure they attended. Helen wore an expression of gaiety, but if anyone looked deeply into her eyes, they could see the disillusionment there. After the wedding was over, they took the carriage back to Aunt Miriam’s house.
After they pulled away from the church, Kathryn turned to Helen. “I’m very concerned for you, because for all your jovial outward appearance, I know you’re in tremendous pain. I worry that you’re changing from the sweet, fun-loving girl you’ve always been, into a hard, cynical woman. I know this whole situation has been very painful, but just give yourself some time to allow your heart to heal. I find it very difficult to watch you going down this path.”
Helen coldly stared at Kathryn. “It’s none of your business how I act! I have ample reason to feel the way I do. I’ll never, I say never…will I let a man affect me so again. If that makes me cynical, then so be it. I don’t want to discuss this further.” Helen turned and looked out the window of the carriage for the rest of the trip back to Aunt Miriam’s house. She knew she’d just hurt Kathryn’s feelings, but she didn’t want her pity.
Three days later, they received a message from Henry telling them that Melody had given birth to a son, and that she’d had an easy time of it and was feeling wonderful. In fact, Henry said he was having a difficult time getting her to rest. Aunt Miriam, Helen, and Kathryn left immediately so they could see the new baby.
The trip to Sanderford Park was pleasant, and they had excellent weather. Simpson, the butler, was there waiting to greet them as they arrived. Mrs. Milton, the housekeeper, showed them to their rooms so they could freshen up before they went to the drawing room for tea.
Melody was already out of bed serving tea as if she hadn’t just given birth two days before. Henry was a proud papa and was spoiling little Magnus dreadfully by carrying him around whenever he was awake. Magnus was a beautiful child, and he looked very much like Melody. He had her gorgeous golden curls and her sherry-colored eyes. His sister, Mary Elizabeth, kept telling everyone that since she was almost five years old, she could hold her little brother whenever she wanted. Little Brandon, who was almost three, didn’t show the same level of enthusiasm as his sister did for his new little brother.
Helen was glad to be home and took long solitary walks every day, and rode Ginny to the lake. She felt more like her old self as each day passed. She spent much of her time playing with the children. She found it very cleansing, and so decided that when she went back to town, she would find a husband. One who didn’t want a love match, but would be more than willing to set up his nursery. On the last day before they were due to return to London, one week after their arrival, she asked to speak with Henry.
As she sat down across from him in his study, she said, “Henry, I need your assistance. I want you to help me find a husband who’s ready to set up his nursery. One who’s not looking for a love match. I think a widower would be nice, especially one who already has children. Can you help me with this?”
“Helen, I know how much it hurt you when you found out that the Duke of Somerset was getting married to Lady Penelope, but please don’t give up on love. You’ve seen how much Melody and I love each other, and I want you to find the same happiness that I’ve found with her. Marriage can be difficult enough with love. I can’t imagine a marriage without it. I want you to think this through thoroughly before you make any decisions. Will you do that for me?”
Helen shook her head, then stood up and began to pace the room. “I have thought about it, and I don’t want to fall in love ever again. I do want to be a mother, and the only way that will happen is if I marry. I’ll be three and twenty next month, and I don’t want to wait any longer to become a mother. So will you help me or not?”
“If you’re sure about this, I’ll help you. It saddens me greatly to see you so cynical. Please don’t let this change you from the vivacious young woman you’ve always been. I can understand how hard this has been on you, and I wish I could do something about it. Unfortunately, if I called him out, it would cause a scandal that would ultimately hurt you. If this is what you truly want, I’ll put the word out among my peers and see what I can find.”
Helen gave him a relieved smile. “Thank you, Henry. I know you don’t agree with me on this, but I just know this is what’s best for me. Well, since we’re leaving in the morning, I’m going to retire early. I really do appreciate your help on this. Good night.”
Helen, Kathryn, and Aunt Miriam left to go back to London the next morning. Again, the weather was superb so they were soon back in London. When they arrived at Lady Helton’s house, Helen immediately went through the invitations they had received and picked out Lady Molson’s ball to attend that evening.
That evening, she dressed with care, making sure she looked her best. She was going to her first ball with the intent of looking for a husband. Her new ball gown had just arrived from Madame Devy’s, and it was quite exquisite. It was a deep shade of blue with a silver underskirt. There were little stars sown all over the outer skirt, so when she moved she sparkled. The design did wonders for her slender, yet well-rounded figure. She chose to wear her diamonds that Henry had given her for her twenty-first birthday. Sally took a matching ribbon and threaded it through her curls. It looked quite attractive. She knew she had never looked lovelier.
As she descended the stairs, Lady Helton looked up in astonishment. “Helen, you look absolutely marvelous tonight. You’ll turn every man’s head when they see you. I’m sure you’ll attract a husband t
onight. I’ll talk to some of my friends and see if any of them know of a nice widower. Hopefully we can find someone who’s young so he can give you all the children you want.”
“Thank you, Aunt Miriam. I appreciate any help you can give me. Remember, I absolutely don’t want anyone that will fall in love with me. It wouldn’t be fair, since I’ll never fall in love with him.”
The ball was already underway when they arrived. Between the heat from the beeswax candles and the smell of so many heavily perfumed, unwashed bodies, it was difficult to breathe, but Helen was determined to achieve her goal. She would find a husband and preferably tonight! The men did crowd around her, but none of them were what she was looking for. They were either fortune hunters or young men, still wet behind their ears.
Halfway through the night, Helen spied a tall, elegantly dressed gentleman with light brown hair watching her. His eyes were a penetrating bright green, and he had a strong jaw with the most sensual mouth she had ever seen. His physique was muscular, and his shoulders were broad. He could very well be one of the most attractive men she had ever seen. The way he watched her made her think that he was probably a bit of a rake. He reached up and adjusted his snowy white cravat, then walked over to Aunt Miriam who was standing with Lady Molson and started talking.
Soon Aunt Miriam and the man walked toward her. As they approached, Helen felt an odd sensation in the pit of her belly when she met this man’s piercing green eyes. “Helen, this is the Earl of Collingswood. He’s new to town so I thought you’d like to meet him. Lord Collingswood is a widower with twin daughters.”
“I’m pleased to make your acquaintance, Lady Helen,” Lord Collingswood said as he bent low over Helen’s hand and raised it to his lips. As he straightened back up, he met Helen’s gaze.
Helen boldly met his gaze with her own, and smiled. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, my lord. I recognize a bit of an accent. What part of the country are you from?”
