by Vikki Vaught
Once he got to his chamber, a footman unpacked his clothes and readied his bath. After he dismissed the footman, he sank down into the tub and began to worry again about the wedding.
For Christ’s sake, he wasn’t even sure he could remember what Helen looked like!
What in the world had he gotten himself into?
Well, it was too late now for all these second thoughts.
He wondered if Helen was having these feelings, and if she was, maybe she would call off the wedding. After all, a lady did have the right to change her mind. The footman had said he would return at seven o’clock to show him where the drawing room was, so he had better hurry if he was going to be ready in time.
The footman directed him to the drawing room. Before he entered, he froze and didn’t want to go in. Knowing he must, he plastered a pleasant smile on his face and entered the drawing room. There sat Helen in all her beauty. He had forgotten how truly lovely she was. Her incredible beauty helped ease his worries somewhat, and he hoped everything would be all right.
He walked over to her and bowed, then picked up her hand and kissed her delicate fingers. “Good evening, Lady Helen. May I tell you how radiant you look this evening? I’m sorry I missed tea, but it took me longer to arrive than I had planned. I hope that I find you in good health?”
“It’s a pleasure to see you again, my lord.” Helen seemed to be more reserved than he remembered. Maybe she really was having second thoughts. After seeing her, he hoped she wasn’t. “I’m doing quite well, and I hope you didn’t have any serious problems getting here.”
Oh God, she was being so formal.
Where was the vivacious woman he remembered?
“Lord Collingswood, let me introduce you to the rest of my family,” Helen said. “You’ve already met Kathryn, and of course you know Lady Helton. This is my sister-in-law, the Duchess of Sanderford.”
Lord Collingswood bowed to the petite blonde woman Helen indicated. “What a pleasure it is to meet you, Your Grace. Lady Helen has mentioned you several times, and I know she admires you tremendously, but she never told me you were so lovely. Thank you for offering me your kind hospitality.”
Obviously, it pleased the duchess when he commented on her beauty because she grew flushed when he said it. Melody smiled as she acknowledged him. “Since we’re going to be family, please call me Melody. I look forward to getting to know you. Helen is very precious to me, and I just want her to be happy, so I wish you well.”
Glancing over at Helen, Matthew gave her what he hoped was a pleasant smile, and then he replied to Melody, “I promise you that Lady Helen’s happiness is of the utmost importance to me also. And please call me Matthew. As you said, we’ll be family after tomorrow.”
Helen turned to her brother. “Matthew, here’s my brother. Of course, you’ve already met him when you came down to ask for my hand.” Matthew looked over at His Grace and wondered if he still felt they were rushing the marriage.
Henry stepped forward and extended his hand, which Matthew accepted, and then the duke said, “Collingswood, it’s good to see you again. I understand you had a spot of trouble and were delayed in you arrival. I hope all is well?”
He should have realized that Sanderford would comment on his tardiness. “It wasn’t a serious problem, but it just added some time to my trip. I was looking forward to getting here in plenty of time so that I could spend some time with Lady Helen, but unfortunately that wasn’t possible.” He gazed over at Helen and schooled his facial expression so it was pleasantly inviting.
Helen turned to a distinguished woman sitting on the settee, and then said, “My lord, this is my mother, the Dowager Duchess of Sanderford.”
Ah, the mother.
From what Helen had shared, they weren’t close. Her haughty expression said it all. Her Grace was definitely more interested in pedigree than what a person was all about. It was hard to imagine she’d had any kind of hand in raising Helen.
“I’m pleased to meet you, Your Grace, and may I say that I see where Helen gets her beauty? I would never have thought you could be old enough to be her mother.” Matthew smiled, as he bowed low over her hand.
The duchess seemed flattered by what he’d said, and she returned his smile. Her smile, while stiff, made her look more approachable. As Matthew straightened up, the duchess said, “Thank you, my lord. I look forward to getting to know you. I met your father years ago when I first had my come out. He was a handsome man. You look very much like him, as I recall. I’m sure you’ll make a fine addition to the family. Helen tells me that you’re from Devonshire, is that correct?”
“Yes, Your Grace. I understand that you now live in Bath. I’m sure you enjoy it. I’ve visited Bath several times. It’s a beautiful city.”
“I do enjoy it tremendously. Many of my friends have moved there in the last few years. You’ll have to bring Helen and visit me some time.”
Helen rolled her eyes as she listened to her mother, and then went on with the introductions. “My lord, here is my other sister-in-law, the Marchioness of Wyndham. She was married to my brother, Nelson. Remember I told you about my brother’s death two years ago?”
He looked over at Lady Wyndham and could see the pain in her eyes when Helen mentioned the death of her husband. If she could still feel this much pain, after two years, she must have loved him deeply. “It’s nice to meet you my lady. I’m so sorry for your loss. I never met your husband, but I have heard many good things about him.”
Mary brushed a tear from her warm brown eyes. “I’m pleased to meet you, my lord. I hope that you and Helen can find the same level of joy I found in my marriage. I understand you’re a widower with twin daughters. My children are a great source of comfort to me, as I’m sure yours are to you.”
The butler, he thought he remembered his name was Simpson, came in and announced dinner. Matthew offered Helen his arm, and they went into the dining room. It felt somewhat awkward to be in a room full of people he didn’t know, especially when they would soon become part of his family. Matthew now wished he’d made more of an effort to get his brother to come. If Gregory had come, he’d have had someone here for him. At least Bradley would be there with him tomorrow when he got leg-shackled.
Dinner was excellent, and once he relaxed a bit, he was able to make conversation with Kathryn who was sitting beside him on his left. The wine they served with dinner was superb, and the footman kept his glass filled. Since he was still quite nervous, he was probably drinking more than he should. Helen was on his right, but she was being so quiet.
Lord, where was the fun loving girl he’d met in London?
She was so stiff and overly polite—it was driving him mad.
After dinner, the duchess led all the ladies out so the men could enjoy their port and cigars.
The duke was very gracious and tried to make Matthew feel welcomed. Matthew particularly enjoyed talking with Cousin Harold, because he was more the type of man he could be friendly with, since he seemed so down to earth. All the others were too highbrow for him. The duke seemed more relaxed. However, Matthew could tell he still had reservations about the marriage, and he was probably right. They should have taken more time to get to know each other.
The port was excellent, and again he drank several glasses. At this rate, he was well on his way to becoming slightly intoxicated, but it was helping him relax. The duke rose and requested they go join the ladies.
When they went into the drawing room, he saw Helen talking with Lady Wyndham, and went over to join them. Again, he felt so awkward that he wasn’t sure what he should say to Helen. He wondered how in earth they were going to manage, when he couldn’t even seem to hold a conversation with her. Finally, the evening ended, and everyone retired for the night.
Thank God, they had put some brandy in his room! He needed a stiff drink. He wasn’t much of a drinker normally, but he definitely needed something to calm his nerves.
What an uncomfortable night!
&n
bsp; God, he wished he could have had his brother here!
Even if he was a scapegrace rascal, at least he was family!
Helen’s family seemed nice enough, but he’d still felt like such an outsider. Helen was much more beautiful than he remembered, so maybe after the wedding, when they left for his home, they would relax around each other. He certainly hoped so anyway. Well, tomorrow would be a long day so he needed to get to sleep. He crawled into bed, but sleep wouldn’t come. Eventually, he gave up, availed himself of the brandy, and drank himself to sleep.
When Helen got back to her room, she dismissed Sally as soon as she was in her night rail. The thought of being intimate with Matthew was frightening to say the least. Maybe after the wedding, and they were alone, everything wouldn’t feel so stiff. After all, they had enjoyed each other’s company in London. Helen got into bed, but she didn’t fall asleep right away. She tossed and turned for hours. Eventually, she fell into a restless sleep.
The morning of her wedding dawned bright and early. At least it was a gorgeous summer day. She had blurry eyes after a virtually sleepless night, and the signs of it showed on her face. Sally brought her breakfast, but she was too nervous to eat anything. She knew she was far too anxious to eat. She wouldn’t be able to keep it down. This felt like the most horrible day of her life, and it should be the best day.
After breakfast, she took a long, soaking bath. She used her rose scented bathing salts, which always helped her relax, but every muscle in her body was so tense, that even the bathing salts didn’t help.
When she finished her bath, she started to get ready for the wedding. Her gown was truly lovely, and it was perfect for a country wedding. Sally helped her put on her wedding gown and ran a matching ribbon through her curls. After she was dressed and ready, she asked Sally to leave her alone.
Once Helen was by herself, she sat down to try to calm her nerves, but she was so restless, she kept getting back up and pacing her room. She was not normally a woman to worry, but today she was a nervous wreck. It felt so strange to think about marrying a stranger, and really, that’s what Matthew was. Well, she would just have to make the best of it. It was too late to do anything about it now. She needed to concentrate on all the reasons why she had felt that they were suited, and remember that she would have the opportunity to be a mother immediately. When she heard a knock on the door, she called out, “Come in.”
Melody came into the room and cheerfully said, “Good morning, Helen! Are you ready for your wedding? I thought I would stay with you until it was time to leave for the church. Do you need help with anything?”
Helen looked gratefully over at Melody. “No, I’m ready. I was just sitting here waiting. I’d appreciate your company until it’s time to go. I’m so apprehensive about the wedding night. I feel that in some ways I’m marrying a stranger, and I can’t imagine being intimate with him. I’ve decided to talk to Matthew and ask him to wait to consummate our marriage. Surely, he won’t mind waiting a few weeks just to give us a chance to get to know each other better.”
Melody looked at her with sympathy in her eyes. “Darling, if you’ve changed your mind, we’ll support your decision.”
With resolve in her voice, she firmly answered, “I haven’t changed my mind. I know that marrying Matthew is the right thing to do. I love the idea of being a mother to his children. I’m sure I’ll find that very fulfilling, and Matthew and I will rub along nicely once some time passes. Just as you shared with me the other day, it’s only natural to be nervous. After all, I’m facing quite a few changes in my life. I’ll be fine. It’s only making me more anxious just sitting here. Let’s go down now. I’m ready.”
When they arrived downstairs, Henry was waiting to take her to the church. Since it was such a beautiful day, they took his open carriage. Soon they were at the doors of St. Nicolas. The old Norman church was very special to her, since she had attended services there her entire life. Her dreams of marrying there were finally coming true. Matthew was standing at the altar with the vicar and another man whom she hadn’t met. She thought that he must be Bradley Fox.
Matthew looked so handsome dressed in his wedding finery. His hair was combed back, but that stray lock of hair that always wanted to fall was already trying to fall down over his broad forehead. His dark charcoal gray dress coat and shimmering deep green waistcoat enhanced his gorgeous green eyes. There was no doubt she was marrying an extremely handsome man. Her heart took a slight jump, and her breathing sped up as the impact of what she was getting ready to do captured her mind.
Helen’s gaze fell on Kathryn and Susan. They looked lovely in their ice blue silk gowns. At least she wouldn’t be standing up there all by herself. The church looked beautiful with dozens of white lilies, blue hydrangeas, and baby’s breath which festooned the end of each pew, along with ice blue and silver tulle. More blue hydrangeas and white lilies adorned the altar. Everything was breathtakingly beautiful, just as she had always imagined it would be.
Helen placed her trembling hand on Henry’s arm, and as the music swelled, they slowly made their way down the aisle. Her sister winked at her and smiled as she reached the altar. Then Henry took her hand and placed it in Matthew’s shaking one. This was when she realized that he was as nervous as she was.
The vicar started the wedding mass. While they exchanged vows, a calm fell over Helen. There was a strong sense of rightness, and she knew she really was at peace with marrying him. When she met Matthew’s penetrating green eyes, she realized she did want this marriage, and knew everything was going to be fine.
When it came time for her to repeat her vows, she did so in a strong and steady voice, meaning every word when she said she would love, honor, cherish, and obey this man for the rest of her life. Matthew’s voice was determined, and a little louder than was necessary, when he promised to hold her for better or worse, in sickness and health, so she knew he was as apprehensive as she had been.
Then the vicar said, “I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride.” Matthew raised her white tulle veil as he looked deeply into her eyes. He gave her a gentle kiss on the lips, before they turned around and walked down the aisle to the back of the chapel and signed the registry book. Her hand was steady as she signed her new name, Helen Doreen Cunningham. As Matthew was signing his name, she realized it was the first time she had seen his full name. Matthew Winston Cunningham. It had a nice sound to it, and she thought it was a strong name for a strong man.
Since the day was so glorious, Helen was glad Henry brought his open carriage. Matthew placed her hand in the crook of his arm and patted it as if to reassure her. After helping her into the carriage, he sat down beside her, and they waved to all the well-wishers. She looked at him and smiled as they made their way back to the house. By the time they arrived, she felt quite relaxed.
She was sure the wedding breakfast was delicious, but she was too excited to really eat anything. Chef Michelle had truly created a work of art in the magnificent three-tier wedding cake covered in the palest blue sugared roses, whose tiny green leaves were of such delicacy, it amazed her. The gentleman who had been at the altar with Matthew was indeed his friend, Bradley Fox, and he proposed a toast wishing them many happy years together.
Henry stood up, turned toward Helen and Matthew, and with love shining in his eyes, said, “To my sister, Helen and her new husband, may you have as much joy from this union as Melody and I have found in ours. I love you, sweetheart.” Helen’s eyes were swimming in tears, but she had a smile on her face as she gazed over at Matthew when Henry finished his toast.
After hours of dancing and talking to wedding guests and family, it was finally time for her to go upstairs and change into her traveling costume. Kathryn, Melody, and Susan came with her. While she changed, they were talking about how lovely the church looked with all the beautiful white lilies and blue hydrangeas that adorned it.
Sally helped her remove her wedding gown and helped her put on her deep blue carri
age dress with light gray trim. Sally gently wrapped her wedding gown up in white tissue paper, telling Helen she would make sure it was perfect so someday her future daughter would be able to wear it at her wedding. Sally’s thoughtfulness deeply touched Helen, and she gave her a hug.
“Helen, you’re a beautiful bride. I want you to be very happy. You’re the best sister in the world and I’m going to miss you terribly,” Kathryn cried.
Helen looked at Kathryn with tears in her eyes. “I love you too, Kathryn and I’ll miss you desperately. Please write me every day and tell me how your art classes are coming along. You’re truly a gifted artist and I’ll want you to paint my portrait as the Countess of Collingswood. There’s no one who could do it better than you!”
Melody hugged her and Melody whispered in her ear, “Helen, I’ll be praying for your happiness. I’m sure Matthew will be considerate of your wishes, so don’t be afraid to voice them. Now, it’s time to go downstairs and join your new husband.”
When they arrived downstairs, Matthew was already outside waiting by the carriage to help her in. She turned to her family, hugged all of them, and then told them goodbye as she got into the carriage.
As they drove away, she watched them fade away before she turned back around and looked over at Matthew. She didn’t know what to say. It felt so strange. She was alone with him, and she was paralyzed with fear. She tried to recall that sense of peace and rightness she had felt in the church, but now it seemed to have deserted her. Matthew looked at her, his eyes lacking any emotion, so she couldn’t tell what he was feeling at all.
Matthew’s gaze softened as he looked directly into her eyes. “My dear, you don’t need to be afraid. I’ve decided we’ll take it slow. There’s no hurry for us to consummate our marriage right away. I’m sure you must be feeling terrorized by the thought, since we don’t know each other very well. We’ll take a few weeks to get to know each other first. Does that make you feel better?”
