“Sure.”
We passed the spot where Zach was stung by the catfish and the place where the twins liked to catch butterflies. On the far side of the water, I showed Zach an old, twisted tree that looked like it was kneeling.
“This is one of the places where I’d sit and daydream when I was a little girl,” I said, brushing the snow from the rough bark.
“What would you daydream about?”
“Lots of things.”
Zach suddenly swept me off my feet and set me down on the wide limb.
“Whew,” I said. “That’s easier than scrambling up here.”
“Are you cold?”
“Not really.”
“Would you take off your gloves so we can hold hands for a minute?”
“Just like a good lawyer, you set me up with a question.” I laughed. “But only for a minute. It’s cold.”
We took off our gloves. Zach took my hands in his and looked directly in my eyes.
“Satisfied?” I asked.
“Not yet.”
Zach released my hands. Reaching into his pocket, he took out a tiny box. I gasped. Opening the box, he took out a diamond ring that would have received Mrs. Fairmont’s approval.
“I love you,” he said, looking up into my face. “Will you marry me?”
“Daddy—”
“Gave his approval and blessing last night,” Zach said. “Your mother, too. We didn’t stay up late last night talking about the weather.”
I smiled, hoping my face revealed the joy in my heart.
“Yes, I’ll marry you,” I said, extending my hand so he could slip the ring on my finger. “And I promise to love you always.”
The cool metal met my finger and instantly warmed. I brought it closer so I could admire the design.
“It’s simple, but complicated,” I said, admiring the intricate work in the gold.
“Like its owner.”
Sliding down from the limb, I threw my arms about Zach’s neck and buried my face in his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight as the falling snow enveloped us with heaven’s embrace.
It was a hug that never had to end.
Epilogue
CHESTER LIVED IN SYNC WITH GOD’S CLOCK. THE SUN MIGHT BE an idea beneath the horizon; the earth shrouded in the last gray of night; but the rooster knew what was coming. A new day was at hand, one worthy of a herald. He opened his yellow beak and crowed.
Ellie, Emma, and I had talked late into the night as we enjoyed our final opportunity to savor the unique relationship reserved for unmarried sisters. We shared giggles, sweet words, and invisible tears after the lights were turned out. After the twins finally went to sleep, I slipped out of bed and lightly touched each girl’s dark hair and silently blessed them. I prayed that Emma and Ellie would meet the man God was preparing for each of them.
The rooster’s scratchy reveille penetrated the bedroom a second time. Knowing what the day held for me it was impossible to go back to sleep. I flipped onto my back, and with a happy sigh, enjoyed one of the many pleasant thoughts at my disposal.
By evening, my name would change more dramatically and permanently than when I transformed myself from Tammy Lynn to Tami. My family and the State of Georgia would soon know me as Tammy Taylor Mays. Of course, I could still shorten the Tammy to Tami.
I slipped out of bed and threw on one of the plain dresses I wore around the farm. I tiptoed barefooted down the stairs. The door to Daddy and Mama’s bedroom was closed. The sewing room where Zach stayed when he came for his first visit was also empty. He and his family were staying with Oscar Callahan. I wondered if Zach was still asleep. The thought that for the rest of my life I would know whether Zach was awake or asleep by turning over in bed to check sent a shiver down my back.
I slipped on a pair of old sandals and grabbed the blue bucket we used to gather eggs. Late April in the mountains can be brisk, but I liked the feel of the cool, wet grass on my bare toes. Our two dogs heard the back door slam shut and ambled around the corner of the house. They followed at my heels as I walked toward the chicken pen. Chester scratched vigorously in the dirt for a few seconds then stopped to crow. When I opened the wire door to the pen, he squawked in warning but didn’t charge me.
The hens clucked in protest when I stooped to enter the coop. Lady Macbeth made the loudest racket but had the least to fear. Her egg production had been steadily dropping, so Daddy was allowing her to sit on four eggs and hatch her replacement. Two days earlier, the chicks had broken free from their shells. The twins and I watched the last one poke its beak through a tiny hole and work its way to freedom. In the not too distant future I hoped to have a baby of my own.
I collected eggs from the other hens. Returning to the house, I could see Mama standing at the sink fixing the morning pot of coffee. Drinking coffee together had been part of my parent’s morning routine as long as I could remember. I was glad Zach and I had gotten a head start in the same direction.
“Good morning,” I said when I entered the kitchen. “Lady Macbeth is taking good care of her chicks.”
“Are you going to miss the chickens?” Mama asked.
“Yes.” I joined her at the kitchen sink and gave her a quick hug. “But if I start listing all the people, animals, places, and things I’m going to miss, it will take me all day and make me depressed.”
Mama smiled. “I don’t think it’s going to be too hard enjoying the present and looking forward to the future. Soon, you and Zach will have a collection of new happiness.”
“No regrets about him?”
Mama kissed me on the cheek. “None. We wouldn’t pretend to support something we didn’t believe in.”
The coffee pot beeped.
“How much coffee do you want with your cream and sugar?” Mama asked.
“Let me do it.”
Daddy entered the room and kissed me on the usual spot on top of my head. Despite Mama’s words about the present and future, his simple gesture of past love overwhelmed me. Tears suddenly stung my eyes.
“What did I do wrong?” he asked.
Mama shooed him toward his seat at the kitchen table.
“Nothing,” she said, shaking her head. “It’s one of the many things you do right.”
I wiped my eyes and helped Mama cook breakfast. Forty-five minutes later the kitchen was alive with conversation as Kyle, Bobby, Ellie, Emma, Daddy, Mama, and I gathered around the long white table and took our customary seats.
“I want to pray,” Bobby piped up before we bowed our heads.
“All right,” Daddy replied.
I saw Ellie and Emma exchange a questioning look. Daddy almost always prayed before meals. We held hands and closed our eyes. Bobby began to pray. He didn’t stop at thanking the Lord for our meal but also prayed a blessing over all that was going to happen later in the day. At one point I peeked to see if he was reading from a sheet of paper, but his eyes were squeezed shut.
“Amen,” he said.
“That was a fine prayer, Bobby,” Daddy said.
“But it won’t keep these biscuits hot,” Kyle said, reaching for a crusty brown one on top of the pile.
I glanced at Bobby, my eyes shining with thanks. He was going to sing an original song at the wedding. I’d not heard it, but Mama claimed it was the best thing he’d ever written.
Kyle held a biscuit in the air like a glass of champagne.
“May your house be filled with the smell of fresh biscuits as you’re surrounded by a family that loves one another as much as we love you.”
“Thanks.” I smiled.
“It’s a biscuit toast,” Ellie blurted out, then laughed at the odd combination of words.
After clearing the table and cleaning the dishes, Mama and I went into the sewing room for a last check of my wedding gown.
“I ate too much breakfast,” I said as I prepared to step into the long, white dress. “What if it’s too tight?”
“Then you won’t eat lunch.”
Mama
zipped up the gown as I held in my stomach.
“That’s not necessary, Tammy Lynn.”
I exhaled. The dress was snug but in a perfect way. I looked at myself in the long mirror on the wall near the sewing machine. I’d bought the dress in Savannah. Julie went with me to the bridal shop and peppered the lady who assisted me with suggestions about style, material, and especially how much skin to expose. In the end, I didn’t compromise on modesty, and Julie was forced to admit that the dress, with its graceful drape from my shoulders, had a classic look. Mama straightened the sleeves that rustled slightly under the touch of her fingers.
“I fixed the left sleeve before I went to bed last night,” she said.
“It’s fine,” I replied, bending my arm slightly. “But is it too showy for our church?”
“It’s too late to worry about that,” Mama answered confidently. “And I don’t think you should. The beauty of the bride is one of the great images of Scripture.”
“What time do you think I should wash my hair?” I asked, running my fingers through my long, dark locks.
“Not till you finish your chores.”
“Chores?”
“Nothing around here, but do you need to go to the church to make sure everything is ready?”
“Only if you think I should. Hasn’t Mrs. Holcomb planned a couple of hundred weddings?”
“At least.”
“I don’t want to go there until it’s time to get ready. Everything looked fine at the rehearsal last night.”
The wedding rehearsal had caused goose bumps to involuntarily prick my flesh several times. Zach saw them on my arm at one point and teased me that I had skin like a basketball. I challenged him to a game of one on one upon our return to Savannah.
“You’re calmer about it than I am,” Mama answered, rubbing her forehead. “The flowers should be there by ten this morning, but I want to make sure the different arrangements are put in the right spots.”
“Then you should go to the church. I’m going to stay here.”
“And spend some time alone?”
“Yes, ma’am. At the pond.”
Mama smiled and nodded. “I can’t think of a better chore.”
Upstairs, the twins were straightening up the bedroom we’d shared since they’d slept in matching cribs.
“Are you going to help us?” Emma asked me when I entered.
“No,” Ellie quickly cut in. “Tammy Lynn can’t spend her morning getting your dirty socks out from underneath the bed. She has to spend the day thinking about Zach and God, but not necessarily in that order. God always comes first.”
Emma dropped to the floor and scooted under the edge of the lower bunk bed. In a few seconds, she threw out three dingy, white socks.
“These are your, Ellie,” she said from her position on the floor. “You should be thinking about socks and God, in that order.”
“I’m going to walk over to Putnam’s Pond,” I said.
“Can we go with you?” Ellie asked excitedly.
Emma scooted out from beneath the bed and sat up on the floor.
“No, because she has to think about Zach and God.”
“Emma’s right,” I said. “I want some time alone.”
Ellie shook her head. “Alone for the last time. Can you imagine being around the same person all day, every day?”
Emma threw one of the dirty socks at Ellie’s head. “I know exactly what it’s like.”
Zach had been with me the last time I’d visited the pond. We’d gone during a gentle snowfall and admired the pure splendor of the white landscape. Today, the trees displayed a different beauty, the promise of new life revealed in tender, pale green leaves. I walked slowly and came out of the woods at the edge of the pond. At first sight, the water appeared still, but as I stepped closer I could see tiny lines left by long legged water striders skating across the surface.
I went around the pond to the twisted kneeling tree, the place of my childhood daydreams. It was the place where Zach fulfilled one of those dreams when he gave me the sparkling diamond ring that still surprised me when I saw it on my finger. Without Zach to sweep me into the crook of the tree in his strong arms I scrambled up on my own. My feet dangled a yard above the ground. I rested my hands against the solid trunk and closed my eyes. I breathed in the clean mountain air.
After a few moments of silence, a Bible passage long ago committed to memory rose to the surface of my mind as gently as a fish swimming to the top of the nearby pond.
But from the beginning of the creation, God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh, so then they are no longer two, but one flesh.
I let the meaning of the scriptures sink in. Zach and I would be one. Not because a preacher said so, or the words printed on a marriage license, or even the solemn vows we made to each other. We would be one because God decreed it. What stronger bond of unity could there be?
Before I could finish savoring the impact of this truth, another passage scrolled across my mind’s eye.
Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become a sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing. Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy, love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
Some might consider the Bible a dusty, boring book. But in that moment the words from 1 Corinthians 13 were filled with liquid fire that burned with divine life. In marriage and family I would have the chance to experience a love unknown apart from God’s grace. The realization made me feel vulnerable, yet strangely powerful.
A breeze brushed across my cheeks. I looked across the pond in the direction of the house that would no longer be my only home. More words came.
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; but how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
The Lord would wrap himself around Zach and me, making secure the unity he established. Jesus, Zach and I would be the three-fold cord.
I remembered the day Sister Dabney applied those words to Maggie, Julie, and me. The fiery woman preacher wouldn’t be at my wedding. She was getting ready for the heavenly one Mama mentioned while I was trying on my dress. To my surprise, no tears welled up in my eyes at the thought of Sister Dabney. But she wouldn’t want me to cry. Her cry had always been for me to be an overcomer, a woman who would become all God intended.
I stood at the back of the church with my arm nestled against Daddy’s side. He leaned over and planted one last kiss on the top of my head. I squeezed his arm tighter. The organist struck the introductory notes of the processional. We stepped forward.
To the left, I saw Mrs. Fairmont standing with Julie, Maggie, and Jessie. They’d positioned the elderly woman on the aisle. Mrs. Fairmont’s aristocratic, carefully coiffed head and gracious smile filled me with gratitude that she’d lived to see this day. Beside her, Jessie’s mouth was open in amazement. I quickly prayed that in due time she’d walk down a church aisle to unite with the man God chose for her.
Other beaming faces from my past and present swam past my vision as we made our way to the front of the church. When I reached the section reserved for my immediate family, I wanted to stop and give th
e twins a last hug. They were about to explode with excitement. Kyle was sitting with Mama. Mama’s face showed none of the tension I’d seen earlier in the day. Replacing it was a serenity that made me feel stronger and more confident. I was her daughter. Not a duplicate, but a child in whom she’d poured every good thing I’d let her impart. Seeing Mama made me fight back tears.
Then I saw Zach.
And when our eyes met, every one else in the room was banished to the shadow lands. His eyes shone with a love I could trust. Daddy’s voice giving me away sounded far away. I faced Zach, my hands held by his.
I heard Pastor Vick’s message, answered the questions, and repeated the vows with one foot in the church and the other across the threshold of heaven. The reality of what God was doing between us overshadowed the human ceremony, bathing it in holy glory. I could see the reflection of what I sensed in Zach’s eyes. He was in that place with me. God was joining us together.
“You may now kiss the bride,” Pastor Vick said when the last prayer was prayed.
Zach leaned over and our lips met for the first time. The kiss lasted so long that I heard a ripple of laughter from the congregation. God’s glory is great, but earth has its blessings, too. Zach and I parted and faced the congregation with beaming smiles on our faces.
Acknowledgments
MANY THANKS TO ALLEN ARNOLD, AMI MCCONNELL, NATALIE Hanemann, and Deborah Wiseman, my faithful partners at Thomas Nelson Publishing. Your advice and counsel at all stages of the writing process is greatly appreciated.
And to my wife, Kathy. For you more than anyone else, I want to show greater love.
Reading Group Guide
1. Do you think it’s reasonable to think Tami will be able to avoid working on cases that defend people who commit acts that go against her value system?
2. Psalm 100 reads: “Shout for joy to the LORD , all the earth. Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. Know that the LORD is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations” (NIV ). Tami’s hope is to make each courtroom a place of praise. Imagine if you adopted this approach in your occupation. Discuss what it might look like.
Tides of Truth [03] Greater Love Page 36
