“You’re not a bad person.” Vampire. Whatever. “And you arriving late doesn’t make you leading them astray or anything.”
His eyes dodged me and went to his hands under my legs. “I was watching you.”
Oh!
“You were in the garden on your regular weekend tour of the stars where I regularly spent the night watching over you. While your father did have the expectation that I would keep my eye on you, I used it to my advantage.”
A quick lift of his lip and then it disappeared making me wonder if I’d imagined it.
“So your angry at yourself for being selfish, disregarding your duties, and think yourself a monster for doing the same eye for eye offense to the enemy.”
“Precisely put,” he muttered running his hand through his hair several times and taking away our skin-to-skin contact.
He was god awful worried I’d just start hating him now. Expected it. Maybe his insecurities were not so far off from my own.
“I only made my point so blunt so as to show you that there is no point in crying over spilled milk. You obviously won’t make the same mistakes twice.”
His quicker than flying salt look said “Wanna bet” but it never came out.
“You’re not a monster. Protecting your own is not bad no matter how you have to play it.”
Cas asked me after a very long silence of him not looking at me at all, “Why is it you can accept me knowing I have secrets I can’t tell you and yet you seem to overlook my unfortunate lifestyle?”
On the grand scheme of terrifying things that have happened to me in my life, losing him would be the worst. He might have had to do some terrible things, but they were done to rectify justice to the survival of his faction. Some may see that as reckless and uncaring towards others, but I knew what it was like to stand for your own and to give respect to those who represent you. That line was drawn in more ways than one for me now, but I still knew he meant the same for his own faction to hold that he would “have their back” any day of the week and keep his people safe and strong.
I thought a minute longer and then replied, “You accept me for being the daughter of who I was years before I knew, liked me for who I was before you knew the real me, accept the destiny I’m dealing with and still stay by my side, and seem to love me with this undeniably, unconditionally, overprotective nature that is beyond my understanding and you have a hard time wondering how I could love you?” Spuph!
Cas’ eyes swam with complete desire. His smile was sweet, his mouth was curved upward. Sadness was hidden beneath, but just like always, he and I could quickly forgive the intense stress of a conversation and focus on each other.
“I’m not sure why I ever doubted it now,” he growled letting the just before hauntings of the past be erased. “Coming from the sexiest mouth on this earth, I am quite sure I have at least made my feelings well known but just to be sure...” Cas moved our bodies vertical to where I sat just as predator and prey our relationship seemed to be. He inched my bum up over his knees still letting claustrophobia set in with the little space he was leaving me. I moved an inch back. Again. His eyes glowed almost all yellow when I moved another inch. He liked this. And that also made me term that face into a description. It was...the look.
I closed my eyes and exhaled too loud, “I feel so much better knowing you’re around to make me smile.”
His face was a statue.
“What are you thinking? I can’t read you with you like that,” I asked nervously trying to ease what I knew he was going to do. And I was okay with it. I just knew lately we were getting closer to not being able to stop.
“I am thinking many things.” The look.
Okay. Help me here. “What do you want me to do then?”
His eyes flickered with a certain dark look. “Oh, I have many things I want you to do,” he said the words so slow.
Ohhhhhh! I was reading everything wrong again. Men and women certainly walk on different wavelengths of thought patterns. I couldn’t keep up with his wavering moods. Although, he seemed always in this mood even in the back of his mind. Men!
“Stop looking at me like that!” I puckered my brow dithering with my sleeve. I was the one with Val ancestral power that wouldn’t work on him. Besides, that power was tabled for now. I didn’t want to use it on anyone again for a long time.
“Like what?”
“Like I’m food.”
His deep, hearty laugh that escaped on the rarest occasions vibrated in my ear. And then his thumb caressed my cheek in a slow move I’d memorized long before as his identifiable way of his own personal reassurance. It may be because he likes the softness of my skin, but I lean more on the idea that as a man he needs his own reassurances that as females need verbally, they need physically.
I am going to put it all out there, Kissa. I know you are secluded and hesitant to think on things so personalized and intimate, but with me you should not be. I want you to be not embarrassed. I want everything with you in every way. And I know that seeing me with the turned Elves scared you. It scares me too sometimes, but I’m an extremely hard one to kill. I have to be that way for my people to feel secure. I want more than anything for you to accept that, but I understand if you don’t.
It’s not that I don’t accept it, but rather that he is so much more than just a demonic force of nature known as the Vampire lord. He is more complex than the volatile evil man other factions think him to be. I did once. “I accept everything about you and what you may have to do and l never think less of you. But know this. I aim to make you wiser in your choices as you seem so willing to make me in mine. I don’t believe everything requires violence.”
He visibly relaxed and brushed his thumb across the tip of my top lip and then the bottom. Thank you. You may accomplish your goals yet if I know you well enough. I’ve changed so much. But know this. My every intention above all else is to have all of you. I want everythin, Anastacia.
He started to move away like he was hesitating with what he wanted to say next. “What is it?” I asked aloud and placed a hand on his arm staking a claim that I didn’t want him far away.
I don’t want to scare you or make you run away.
“Then just tell me. I am not scared anymore.”
I want it all.
“What are you not saying Cas?” I plied him with yet another question with the same desperation his own inner voice had. His hand landed on my hip and stayed there stopping me from constantly smoothing out the fabric of my pants to keep my nervous heart in check.
I want to make you happy in every way and not be beholden to a rule that says you’re not mine yet. I want to take you places, make you smile with gifts and your favorite meals. Love you and marry you just like you promised me. And above all I want to be with you...in every way.
Eyes wide with surprise and happiness all rolled into one, I calmed my own raging hormones and gave him the non-embarrassed return he searched for. My hand moved nervously and landed on the center of his chest. I swallowed once and said, I feel the same way. Except the meal part. I...don’t want to be your meal. I mean—
He didn’t wait for me to finish, but it wasn’t his usual pull me into a delicious like kiss and sweep me off my feet. It was a more like a too tight bear hug where we both lifted a little and then hovered just above with his arm tight around me for support.
I love you, Anastacia.
“You seem to like changing up what you call me?” I leaned the best I could from where he held me up. I couldn’t breathe.
“Yes. Is that okay?” he looked weary.
“Oh yes. I think.” He usually used my name to make his points and hold my attention for serious things. I didn’t always like serious. It was overrated.
Think?
I blushed and held my breath without notice or care. I kind of like what you already call me.
Breath my sweet Kissa. Sekhmet. The great lioness of my own legend of Ra. You will be as great, my love.
His hands w
rapped mine to his chest in a tight twist of fate that wound itself all the way around and held on, but it could be loosened. For that, I was sure. I just hoped that I could unfold the twists of my own choosing and not lose the ones I loved. Fate was a bitter enemy and I would be lurking at her corner before every turn to keep what I hold dearest.
“Stace.”
All my many names.
“We will find your father.”
I know he means it. I just hope he’s alive when we do.
Epilogue
In Tyranny lies only failure.
That’s how you know when you know. The single most frustrating person in the world can ignite fury and desire in one setting. When their touch makes your skin feel alive and itchy like you can’t get the buzz enough. Cas was my dark light. He made me feel.
Love doesn’t describe what I feel for Cas. It’s a consuming drive to not be without him. A senseless knowing that he is the end for me and that the mothers knew it would happen. I can’t find any other being that could fulfill the longing and emptiness that my life has survived with until now. He needs me. He wants me. He fights for me. He has jealousy and fear and danger and the same all consuming desire to not be away from me unless he has too. That is more than just something that can be summed up into one word called love.
And this wretched curse of a destiny.
A governing body has not one reason to feel all powerful if its people are not governed by its laws. It is not eloquent, but it is a force, a dangerous servant and a fearful master. It’s like hitting the metaphoric nail on the head with the comparison of my possible existence equaling to that of a faction leader above the factions. There’s never been one. It is humbling and quite possibly the most frightening thing I will ever do in my life. But Borgon aims to take it from me. I can’t help but wonder if the mother’s thought far enough ahead that if the ones I love are taken from me to get me to that spot, I might not take it.
Side Scene
from
Cas’ POV of Stace meeting Cord for the first time and other important scenes
I ditched the Bronco for my loaded to the max Silver Hummer. Right now I was fine because she was safe.
Forget that I agreed to let Lee go with, but I needed my eye on him. Yes, he was feeding me information on Borgon, but I knew where his loyalties lie and she was sitting way too close to him. He was not the traitor she thought he was. He just loved her too much and it would get him killed.
But wouldn’t we all.
“Would ya’ll control yourselves. Reading you is killing me. If this is what I am in for, I’ll be dead by week’s end from male testosterone alone.”
I hated that she could read them all so well, but what could I do about it.
When I pulled the car to a stop, Stace was filing away the already asymmetrically linebacker formation Ryan had his men in. Like this was a damn fight.
He was just here for her.
I flanked her as Calum took the other side. Tolerating Hunter boy had become a necessity to keeping her safe. Being his friend wasn’t in the picture, but faked it for her. He and I were both aware of our roles to each other in respect to keeping her safety first.
She noted their sizes and the fact that every Were was built like an ox. She noted too many things about all guys.
Their scout was sent out along with ours. They met in the middle and agreed on a position to meet. This was all standard.
In the field she asked internally, but not to me specifically, what his name was again so I answered.
Cord Ryan.
Thanks.
Her noting how hot the Were punks were was not making me calmer. She remarked about scars. I could show her scars in better places than where she was looking. Heck, I blocked my mind from her. She needn’t know some of the thoughts that raced through my mind involving her.
Then she looked at Ryan. A little too much.
She noted his clothes specifically and even focused on the brand of jeans. Was that what she liked?
She touched the side of her face pressing the temple in on the left side.
Before I could ask the problem, Ryan reached for his head mimicking her actions. It was hell to see he did have some kind of power with her too.
I tried to reach out, feel the pain she displayed, but the only indication of weakness detected was her headache. It didn't 't hurt too bad because she was friggin’ calling him a GQ model and sizing up his every section, even the damn earring he insisted made girls crazy. Could this get any worse?
They stared each other down, pouring out the same crazed emotions. And without any words, she knew he was the one missing from our little insane asylum of misfits.
Her mind zoned in on me. Oh, now she remembered me! I never let go.
How again did I end up the only girl in this equation?
I’ve wondered the same thing. It seems we all want the same treasure. You!
She smirked at me and then winced like her head still hurt.
“Scorpion?” Angus urged his leader to move back. Like she would hurt him now! She might. Once she knows who he really is.
Scorpion?
My hand possessively went to her hip.
Wasn’t this their party?
“Princess Anastasia.”
Cord put up his deep, smooth ass drawl to reel the girl in. He wanted her rattled and unfocused on me. Too bad he had both hands fisted like he was going to hit her. She didn’t read it right and she didn’t like it. I sure didn’t correct the misconception.
Cord winked at my girl so I pulled her tighter to make the point. They both had odd expressions like they had a secret I couldn’t read.
“The faction leaders have informed me of the past transgressions confounded upon you. I have on good word that the ultimate goal was for my safety only and it was not the intention to outright lie to your faction if not for your apparent disregard for the other factions having a say in how we can work as one team.”
Was he mad or what?
“I agreed to aid the Hunter faction’s leader to housing the twin Valkyrie’s heir in the warehouse. I agreed to tracking you down and making sure you didn’t come to any harm, but to make sure it appeared so. I agreed to stay out of your life for your safety. But now that has to change.”
She asked me for help, but I couldn’t give up the one item of information that could make her dislike me. She would make the right choice once she knows him more.
“What do you mean?”
He was like a kid; he was so ready for this. He wanted her to like him.
“I am Cord Ryan, son of Luper Ryan. I would be most welcome to talk with you alone if that is permissible with your bodyguards?”
She thought he was cold, but she noticed other things too. Didn’t she know I could read her too well? It was killing me.
“Why?” asked Calum tight-lipped.
He is one of us, Stace. He knows already.
How do you know this? She turned to me and I pleaded silently for her to just say goodbye and leave.
“I will not hurt her. It is my own safety I should think to be worried about.” If he kept up the rudeness, he should! “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”
Yes! He wanted to die.
Ryan mentioned he knew Green and Hathown were here. As if that would stop him from what he wanted to do.
“We back up the lines, I watch your every move, one move out of line, I’ll strike you dead before you look my way,” Calum said for us both.
Why was Szar staying quiet? This was his sister.
Ryan’s wall of men moved back at his nod and ours followed suit. I looked over to Szar who was frozen in his standard glare.
“Am I supposed to know what you mean?” she asked him. Ryan glanced my way.
Oh, yes. I nodded to him letting him know I could hear.
“Your Vampire boyfriend hasn’t enlightened you?”
Oh yes. I can hear you dogbreath.
“I’m guessing you’re about to tell
me hence the separation.”
I knew that Cas could probably hear anyway. He is a Vampire.
You got that right! She couldn’t hear me unless I wanted. I wasn’t ready for her to have that skill down yet.
“You are the goddess. You tell me.”
“I’m not sure that’s accurate, but for moving this on a little faster, surnames now announced, let’s proceed. I have you to smooth over, fathers to appease, and my hair to wash, so if it pleases you... ”
He rubbed his chin like she’d baffled his mind. Join the club. “You’re not at all what I expected. Feistier than ever.”
“That seems to be the consensus, yes.”
His smile left him and I chilled knowing he was going in for shock to make her on his side, “Anastacia, you are in great danger. I was there at the bonfire for your birthday. You took down my leader and made the way for me. You are well protected, but I have on good word also that the ones who want you dead are well guarded and I’m left at the other factions mercy. I was there at the party, but Thorn had you before I could. Guess he won the pissing contest. I will admit I have been unmerciful towards the other factions for any action that might have been taken to endanger our way of life or yours. We cannot control our natural instincts and therefore I have to preserve our people and yours. The other factions want you to believe that I, my faction is disagreeable, but I aim only to ensure our way of life and yours. Our people are not expendable and nor are you.”
She chanced a dirty look at me. She knew I was hiding things. I was hiding more than she would ever know.
“I don’t believe that anyone is expendable. I’m sure they have a good reason for leading you to believe what you do. However, I think that now that I am safe and there is no reason to spend so many resources on keeping me that way, we can spend more time finding a way to work as one team, as a group. This danger you say I am in, who from?”
“You don’t know?”
No freaking no! Her voice was shaky, “No, I only recently found out what I do know, so knowing any enemy other than you was not on my know list.”
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