by Tina Leonard
She knew them well enough from taking care of them in the hospital to know that they were out of sorts. Of course, the second that Jackson picked up Melissa and balanced her in his arms, she quieted.
“I think she feels the resonance of your voice.”
“Anything this tiny thinks my deep voice sounds like a bass drum. But I’ll talk quietly,” he said to Melissa.
The baby’s eyelids drooped. Jackson seemed delighted that he had comforted the baby as he settled onto the sofa. “The night was uneventful?”
April felt a blush sweep her. She knew he was asking about the babies, but the night had been uneventful for her. As every night would be. “Yes. They slept most of the night, then only required one feeding.”
“How are you and Caleb working the schedule?”
“He’s nights, I’m days. But I’m not expecting the babies to sleep all of another night. I think it had to have been a result of all the excitement of moving locations, and they were extra tired. I’m paying for it today.”
“I could come over every day for a feeding time so that you can nap,” he said eagerly. “I don’t do much for lunch at the office, and until they’re more settled, I’d be happy to do it. Bri offered to do the same, one or two days a week. We could switch out.”
April smiled to herself as she made a sandwich in the kitchen. The McCallum generosity was more than she’d ever expected. It was what being a family was all about—and as much as she loved her adoptive mother and father, the McCallums were a bonus. As were the babies.
I almost wish it would never end. I wish it wasn’t a watercolor dream-come-true that might wash away any minute.
It wasn’t just her dream; it was Jackson’s, too. “Don’t you and Bri have enough to do where babies are concerned?”
“I figure this crew’s not permanently ours. And they may need us more. Bri’s got a real husband for her, and a real father for her children. She also has a housekeeper. You’re mostly on your own, and I admire that greatly, but I don’t think it should mean you have to do it all on your own.”
“Thank you, Jackson.” She came to sit in the den, watching him drink up the babies in their four rolling bassinets crowded throughout the small room.
“Well, you’re a daughter to me. You’re married to my son, and that makes you family.”
Jackson didn’t look up, and April paused in the act of putting the sandwich in her mouth. He knew that the marriage was bogus, contingent upon the situation with the infants. But he’d sounded so serious. As if he wanted to believe her marriage to Caleb would become forever.
“Where is Caleb?”
April shrugged. “Trying to follow leads for Jenny.”
“You know he’ll find her. Eventually.”
She waited, wondering what Jackson was trying to tell her.
“There’s no one like Caleb,” he said heavily, “when it comes to thinking through a case. He’s got a special talent, and he was a damn fine officer.”
“He says he’ll never go back,” April said. “He says that part of his life is over.”
“That’s true. I don’t always agree with it, but now that I see these children, I think it’s best if he didn’t.”
“It’s not forever, Jackson,” she said gently.
“I know.” He laid Melissa in her bassinet, stroking her back before covering her with a blanket. “I just want you to be prepared for the fact that Caleb will find Jenny. It’s his job, and he won’t quit until he does. And I think you should be prepared for whatever happens when Jenny returns.”
“I think it’s best that she does. As soon as possible. Children need their mother, if at all possible and appropriate.”
“I agree. But take it from me, April,” he said, his voice distant and emotional, “what’s best isn’t always what happens.”
Chapter Fifteen
Caleb drove his car, not really certain how to tell April that he had a strong lead now on where to find Jenny. Technically, he should probably tell the appropriate law enforcement agency. The thing was, the fact that Jenny had gone out of state pretty much left local authorities without much jurisdiction, even if they felt like pursuing his flimsy information.
But what really nagged at him was the truck-stop lady’s words about Jenny. He’d gotten the feeling that Jenny had been so tired and so desperate that folks had taken pity on her. He really didn’t think unfamiliar police officers tracking her would do anything to alleviate the upset the girl was already under.
Though she didn’t know Caleb, either, the fact that she’d used April’s name while traveling gave him hope that she might see in him a comforting presence. He was helping to care for her children—surely those two combined facts would tame Jenny’s fears.
Taming April’s would be another. Envisioning going home with his news that someone had, in fact, seen Jenny and helped her leave the state, he felt April’s first reaction would be relief. And then concern for Jenny.
Whether she would admit it or not, some trepidation would be mixed in there as well. In her mind, April knew these children weren’t hers forever. She had already decided to have a child of her own when the inevitable day of reuniting Jenny with her family arrived. He’d seen her decision and the desire in her eyes.
But she hadn’t looked at him as if he’d had the answer to the other side of the parenting dilemma—and he’d let her know in no uncertain terms that he was not a father candidate.
That left him with an uncomfortable, gnawing feeling in his stomach. His mother had died in childbirth after delivering him. April wanted children of her own; he would not jeopardize her health. That meant that no matter how much he knew himself to be falling for her, she would never be his. Not his wife, and not the mother of his children.
It meant he had to find Jenny fast, and get the hell out of April’s house. This convenient marriage needed to come to a swift, merciful conclusion.
He was in serious danger of losing his heart. Maybe he’d already lost it—a terrified voice inside him was warning that he was ever more deeply involved in a matter outside his control.
Going inside the small dollhouse of a home, he saw the wreckage of the day by the dim lamp April had left on. Blankets and burp cloths lay over bassinets; empty bottles littered the coffee table. He smiled, seeing at once that April’s day had been busy.
He felt pretty certain that she’d loved every minute of it.
Laying his keys on the kitchen counter, he began putting away the bottles in the sink, washing them out for the next day. The scattered burp cloths he tossed in a washer filled with hot water; he checked the nighttime supply of premade bottles in the fridge. Everything looked good to go, and since he was the nightshift, he decided to go down the hall and swipe the monitor out of April’s room. He should have called her; should have checked on her; should have told her when he’d be home.
But that would have smacked of a real marriage. He wasn’t ready for Honey, I’m on my way home. Not now. Not when he knew what he had to do.
Before he could open April’s bedroom door, his cell phone rang. Swiftly, he pulled it from his pocket. “Hello?” he asked quietly, moving back toward the den.
“Caleb?”
He frowned. “Yes?”
“This is the lady you spoke with at the truck stop. Rosemarie.”
“Yeah. Right. I remember.” He’d given her his number in case she thought of any further details after he left. Many times people did, once they had a chance to think things through without him standing around. And sometimes they just needed enough time to think through airing their conscience—and to give him a call.
“I just needed some time to think about what you wanted to know about. The girl,” she said uncertainly.
“That’s all right, Rosemarie.”
“I didn’t tell you everything. I needed to think about what the right thing to do was. I mean, that gal was so frightened. And I didn’t know her, but I sure did feel sorry for her.”
“I know
. She needs help and understanding right now.”
“Well, it was Christmas and…anyway, she’s at my mother’s in Pecan Grove,” Rosemarie said on a rush. “My sister took her there so she’d be safe until we could find her family, or until she got well enough to do whatever she needed to do. I can give you the address,” Rosemarie told him, her voice soft, “but my mom’s grown real fond of her. She’s good company. All I ask is that…is that you be gentle with her. She’s too young to be as sad as she is.”
“It’s okay, Rosemarie,” Caleb said, his voice soothing. “I appreciate all you’ve done for her. I’ll go and get her, and I promise you, I’ll keep in touch with you and let you know that she’s getting along fine. She’s been through a lot, but she’s got people here who are going to help her.”
“You looked like a kind man. You looked like you honestly cared about what happened to her. I wouldn’t have called you if I hadn’t thought so.”
Conscience attack. He admired Rosemarie for choosing to call him. She clearly wanted to protect Jenny. “You’ve done the right thing, Rosemarie. I’ll be in touch.”
Shutting off the cell phone, he scribbled the address she’d given him on a piece of paper in the kitchen. He called the airport and scheduled a flight into the nearest big city around Pecan Grove for tomorrow, early a.m.
Then he went down the hall, slowly opening April’s door to grab the monitor. She was clearly exhausted, one leg thrown out of the sheets, her arm over her eyes. The light from the hallway showed him that she was wearing a cozy flannel gown. Nothing sexy about that—and yet, there was. He just thought everything about April was delicate and feminine.
He so wanted to take care of her. He so wanted to shield her from all the bad hurts in the world.
The cop instinct to protect had to be turned back. She had warned him that men wanted to take care of her, and that she did not welcome that.
But he was going to get the biological mother of the children whom she loved. With one simple plane flight, he would irreversibly change the course of their marriage. Once Jenny realized how much support she had in helping to raise these children, she would want her family back together.
April and he would have no reason to continue their marriage. Social Services would no longer impact their lives.
Tonight would be the last chance to touch April, to hold her, and to feel her shallow breathing in the deepest part of his body. It was wrong, maybe it was taking from her something she wasn’t willing to give, it might even be unchivalrous as hell, but just for tonight he wanted to sleep up against her again.
He could sincerely apologize in the morning. Or tomorrow night, when he came home with Jenny. It really wouldn’t make any difference, because every thing between them would be finished.
He’d return April’s key, and pretty much walk out of her life to sleep in his own bed. His barely furnished apartment with the blinds only in the bed room because he wasn’t there enough to bother with them anywhere else.
Something that felt unnaturally like dread filled him. He didn’t hesitate any longer, but pulled off his boots. Same as he had last night, he slid into the bed fully clothed.
Same as she had last night, April reached for his arm, pulling his cold, windswept body up against her back, so that his knees securely pulled up under her flannel-covered body and his arm over her waist to hold her.
At that precise moment, Caleb knew he was forever lost to the petite nurse. The wife he couldn’t keep.
WHEN APRIL AWAKENED the next morning to the cries of babies going full tilt, she knew she’d slept hard. At some point in the night, she’d relaxed into the deepest sleep she’d experienced in some time. The babies hadn’t cried, or if they had, she’d slept right through it, knowing that Caleb was on duty. She’d heard no yells from him, either, so he’d slept soundly as well.
The only evidence he’d been in the house were the clean bottles and dried, folded blankets and burp cloths. And yet, she remembered being held in the night.
Think I’ve found Jenny. Gone to check, was the note he’d left written on the table. Holding Matthew against her, April felt her stomach pitch at the words, just a little. Hope that Jenny would be found and reunited with her children. Fear for Jenny’s condition. Some regret that the babies might not be in her care much longer.
All of these emotions smote her at once. It was almost too much. With tears stinging her eyes, she brought all the babies into the den, changing their diapers and then beginning the juggling act of feeding them.
The doorbell rang and her heart jumped in her chest. “Who is it?”
“Bri.”
“Oh, good. Help is on the way, you guys.” Still holding the baby she was feeding, April got up and opened the door. “Please excuse my nightgown. I have never been so glad to see you.”
Bri laughed. “Did Dad tell you I was planning to stop by?”
“He made some vague reference about the two of you plotting a schedule to assist me. Grab a bottle and help yourself.”
Bri did just that, shrugging out of her coat and scooping up Chloe, whose racket seemed the most intense at that moment. “So, how’s it going?” She swept a glance around the room. “It looks very successful, I must say. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were handling everything with your customary aplomb. Are you?”
“I don’t know. Some things, yes. Other things, no.”
“Well, let’s start with the things you’re not handling as well.” Bri gave her a mischievous grin. “Those are the most fun, usually.”
“I don’t know how to tell you this,” April said carefully, “but I think I’m crazy about your brother.”
“Oh. Bad thing to be crazy about your husband,” she teased.
With a stab of conscience, April remembered that Bri thought the marriage was a love-at-first-sight match. “Well, I mean that I…I don’t know.” She sighed, wishing she could tell Bri more. They hadn’t had much reserve with each other in the past—and yet, there was no one else she could confide in. “Caleb left a note this morning that said he thought he knew where Jenny was.”
“Really? That’s awesome! Dad said Caleb would find her, and Daddy really does know best in this instance.”
“Yes.” April lowered her gaze for just a moment. “Bri, Caleb and I got married so that we could get temporary custody of the babies.”
Bri stared at her. “The pieces are beginning to fit. I’m sure I suspected, but decided I would over look it in the hopes that you two might decide marriage was too good to pass up. Not many women would want to throw my brother back into the dating pond. I mean, he can be annoying—he is my brother after all—but I’m not blind to how women feel about him. I just wouldn’t want you to leave our family, so I was hoping his charm would affect you the same way.”
It did. His charm and so much more than surface effects had caught at April’s heart. Unfortunately, she was keeping a secret, one that she knew wasn’t going to be pleasant for Caleb.
“So, basically what you’re trying to tell me is that since Caleb’s gone to get Jenny, most likely any reason you two had to stay married is about to be null and void.”
“In a nutshell, that’s it.”
“I see. Well, that stinks,” Bri said, shifting the baby to her other arm and adjusting the bottle. “But you said you think you’re crazy about him.”
“Yes. I fear I am.”
Her smile was teasing, and yet sympathetic. “Dad has the notion that Caleb really likes you, April.”
“I think we…have a mutual attraction. Still, some things are off-limits for both of us.”
“Oh, I see,” Bri said, her tone changing to one of awareness.
“No, no. It doesn’t have to do with what you’re thinking.” April frowned for a second, realizing that her problem did have to do with sex, though Bri obviously thought she’d meant their problem had something to do with the bedroom, which it most definitely didn’t—or that they hadn’t made love, which they most definitely
had.
“I’m late,” she said suddenly, needing to get it out of her system, no matter what happened once her worry was voiced.
“Where are you going?” Bri asked, sitting up to glance at the clock.
“My period is late,” April said, slowly enunciating the words so Bri would understand.
Bri sank back into the sofa, cradling the baby in her arms. “You are?”
“Yes. I was approximately three-quarters through my cycle when we married. Since I’ve always been regular as clockwork, I thought it was a safe time. But with all the stress about the babies, and Jenny, and Matthew being…rolled into another part of the hospital for a while, my schedule might have been off.”
Bri’s eyes were wide. “And you think you might be expecting.”
“I don’t know. I’ve never been late before. Never.”
Bri stared at her, her expression stricken. “Well, there’s no point in jumping the gun before you know for certain. You should get a home pregnancy test next week, or make an appointment at Maitland. I can arrange to be here with the children if you decide to go see an OB-GYN.”
“I might have you do that,” April said miserably. “You know, I’ve always wanted to have a child of my own, but this is not going to be good news.”
“You know, then? That Caleb isn’t going to take it very well if you are?”
She nodded, hearing the sympathy in Bri’s voice. “I know. He’s always been clear about the fact that he doesn’t want children of his own. And that’s what worries me so much.”
“So let me think this through for a minute.” Bri got up to put the baby in the bassinet, reaching for the last infant who was quite ready for breakfast. “My brother has gone to get Jenny. You’re both expecting Jenny to want to come home to her children, once she sees them again, and once she realizes she has a larger support system than she knew.”
