“You understand, of course,” Larry said, “that when the time comes, it will be cash upon delivery.”
“Of course,” Alex said, handing the pen to Stephanie and pointing out the blank where she was to sign her name.
“I’ll be in touch with you just as soon we can complete our background check to make sure you are indeed a suitable couple.”
When Alex bristled, Larry hastened to reassure him. “It’s only a formality in your case, but we have to do everything by the letter. When it comes time for the actual adoption, you’ll have to sign documents releasing the agency from any liability from that day forward.”
“I’ll sign them in my own blood if necessary,” Stephanie said through a blur of tears that would have convinced the most hard-hearted criminal of her sincerity.
Alex gave her a searching look as he led her back to the safety of their vehicle. He hadn’t realized how difficult this might be on a woman as sensitive and tenderhearted as Stephanie. He’d never been involved with a woman who expressed any desire for children. Most expressed the belief that childbirth was a surefire way to permanently ruin one’s figure. None of the women he’d dated previously would have had a chance of pulling off the kind of believable performance Stephanie had given back in that suffocating office.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“I will be.”
She was shaking. Alex leaned across the seat to take her in his arms. Suddenly she was sobbing uncontrollably.
As a general rule, Alex was unmoved by the sight of a woman’s tears. They had been used against him too often in what he’d come to think of as the big gun in the arsenal of feminine wiles. He had expected Stephanie to shed her fair share after making love to him as a means of manipulating him to his knees for a proper proposal to make a decent woman of her. He’d been wrong.
These tears shook him. These tears appeared real.
At a loss what to do, Alex simply held her tight.
“You were wonderful,” he said, trying to get her to focus on the fact that their mission was moving forward as planned.
“I’m one hell of an actress,” she sniffled into his shoulder.
Even though Alex suspected there was far more to Stephanie’s performance than acting alone, he knew better than to prod. Personal feelings were not supposed to interfere with the job at hand. His never had before. That his own eyes were growing misty at the thought of making a baby with this woman was scarier than anything either Larry Sutter or Roman Birkenfeld could ever throw at him. Why that peculiar urge to father a child himself had grabbed hold of him right in the middle of their appointment with the devil himself was incomprehensible.
All Alex knew was that as soon as this mission was over, he would be free to resume life as he knew it, unencumbered by emotions that overwhelmed him and made him feel unsure of himself. Life without any obligation to anyone but himself and the Cattleman’s Club sounded blissfully uncomplicated to a man unused to feeling a woman’s tears pierce his heart.
Ten
Brushing up against wickedness, even when it was parading around in a nice suit and tie, left Stephanie feeling sick to her stomach.
“Would you mind eating dinner without me?” she asked Alex. “I’m afraid I’ve lost my appetite.”
“Why don’t I just call room service, and we can stay in for the evening,” he suggested. “I have a feeling Larry will be contacting us very soon, and I’d just as soon be in our room as anyplace when the call comes in.”
Stephanie wished she shared his sense of confidence. She didn’t think her earlier performance would win any Academy Award, and she wasn’t sure they portrayed a loving couple convincingly enough to lure Larry out of his hole and into the light of day. As lovely as room service sounded, all Stephanie really wanted was to be held in Alexander’s arms until the sinister feeling that settled over her like a caul eventually went away. Embarrassed by her earlier display of tears, she tried rising to the occasion of their mission by putting on a composed face. The last thing Alexander needed in a partner was some needy creature clinging to him and begging for something he wasn’t ready to give.
Stephanie thought she had understood the seriousness of this undertaking when she had reluctantly signed on. It wasn’t until she sat in Larry Sutter’s office actually “buying” a baby that the magnitude of what she was doing really sank into her consciousness. She supposed such haggling went on regularly all over the world: at local fish markets over the price of the day’s catch, in clandestine chat rooms over the cost of weapons of mass destruction, and in sunny offices like the one she had just visited over the worth of a human being…
It made one appreciate the normal routines of life. She didn’t know how Alexander managed to stay so sane and charming when his involvement with the Texas Cattleman’s Club had him rubbing elbows with such unscrupulous characters all the time. She imagined it was part of the reason he refused to settle down with anyone. Beneath his polished playboy exterior was a man of greater character than she had ever imagined.
Stephanie assumed that he wouldn’t want to entangle anyone else in such dangerous games. Who could blame such a man for not wanting a wife or starting a family? How would he possibly explain to his children that he had to leave them periodically to put his life on the line for a stranger in need? What wife wouldn’t get suspicious and resentful when her husband refused to share the details of his secret missions for fear of putting her own life in danger?
It had never occurred to Stephanie before that Alexander might long for the security and love of family just as she did.
She wished she had a tenth of his courage. He had been right about her that day he’d accused her of focusing her energies upon a stage rather than living her own life. Up until now, she had found adventures only in the books that she cataloged or in the lives of her students. Stephanie wondered if any of them would recognize the spinster who had left them such a short while ago for the adventurous woman she had become.
Slipping back into obscurity wasn’t going to be easy. Still, as much as she hated giving up her glass slippers, this Cinderella understood that when the clock struck midnight, there would be no golden chariot waiting to take her home. And while it made her sad to think that this wonderful, terrifying charade was nearing an end, she couldn’t bring herself to regret falling in love with Alex—or keep herself from his bed. She would return to the monotonous details of her old life a changed woman, one who carried herself with the newfound knowledge that she was indeed beautiful. One who was willing to open herself to new experiences and risk taking. One who would never again let fear keep her from loving with all of her heart.
The instant they returned to their hotel suite, Stephanie reached out for Alex with greedy arms. She unbuttoned his shirt and tenderly kissed the flesh exposed by the subtle movements of her fingers. Alex’s breath caught in his throat just as he grasped her hands in the act of undoing the button of his pants.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked.
Eyes the color of Irish meadows held no hint of deception. Searching those piercing eyes, Stephanie understood exactly what his question implied.
Are you willing to accept me as I am? Are you willing to give me your body with the understanding that I will continue to withhold from you the deepest part of myself? Can you accept that our relationship ends the day we step back on that plane and return to our respective lives?
Stephanie nodded her head. She not only understood Alexander’s terms, she accepted them as only a woman in love could. Glad that he had not spoken those harsh truths aloud, she gave the little girl inside of her permission to make the second of three fanciful wishes. The first had been fulfilled when she’d been transformed from an ugly duckling to an elegant swan. A newfound sense of loveliness she would carry back with her into her old life, surprising anyone who failed to look deep enough inside a person to discover their true beauty.
Her second wish was to know and be worthy of a good man’
s love. The questionable virtue of dying a virgin paled in comparison to having her heart cracked wide open. The act might render her forever incapable of living as she had before she had met Alex—with a thin film firmly positioned between herself and the rest of the world. The old saying about it being far better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all was the bittersweet refrain running through her head.
She didn’t dare make her third wish for fear it would cause her to burst into tears. The likelihood of ever really becoming Mrs. Alexander Kent was too far-fetched to entertain even in fantasies.
Stephanie proceeded to unzip Alexander’s pants, then drew them down along the length of his legs, all the while pondering their solid beauty. Kneeling at the altar of those sturdy tree trunks, she planted kisses upon both of his knees.
The beauty of the human body was etched into the details. Stephanie felt a surge of unadulterated lust wash over her. She longed to tease and to please this man as a lover would. A late-comer to the art of seduction, she was an eager study. Deftly she freed him of his briefs and placed another strategic kiss upon the swell of his desire.
“Stand up,” Alex told her.
It was a command laced with tenderness.
Stephanie obeyed. Alex sat on the edge of the bed and returned the favor. First he divested her of the tiny mike placed so close to her heart that he imagined its wild beat was captured on tape along with Larry’s carefully chosen words. He slipped her arms out of the jacket she wore and threw it aside. His arms encircled her waist. A moment later Stephanie heard the soft, erotic sound of a zipper’s tug. Her skirt pooled around her feet, followed by her slip. Without bending down to loosen them, she stepped out of her shoes to stand before him in nothing but nylons and a thin white turtleneck shell.
“You are absolutely breathtaking,” Alex said, making her believe it.
His shoes joined hers at the foot of the bed. Stephanie raised her arms to slide her top over her head. Her breasts spilled over a lacy demi-bra of traditional white. When she leaned over to kiss Alex’s mouth, he hitched both thumbs on either side of her hips and dragged her silk stockings the length of her legs. She divested herself of her bra and panties while her lover removed the rest of his clothes.
Taking her in his arms, Alex pulled Stephanie onto the bed with him, not bothering to pull the covers back. He rolled on top of her, taking care to hold himself up on his elbows so as not to crush her. Her arms encircled his neck, drawing him as close to her as possible. Each breath he took in was ragged. Each exhalation against her skin was a gentle caress.
“Why can’t I get enough of you?” he wanted to know. His jagged voice sliced through the lengthening shadows descending over the room.
Stephanie answered with a kiss, knowing the taste of the honeyed words upon his lips was the elixir that would have to keep her warm through the cold and lonely days ahead. Incapable of giving this man her body alone, she rated herself a poor actress indeed. Love poured from her fingertips and from eyes that beheld him in the light of adoration.
She knew better than to speak her feelings aloud. Such a move would surely be her undoing. So precious few days were left between them. There was no reason to ruin them by blurting out the absolute last words Alexander Kent wanted to hear. No reason other that the fact that her heart refused to be denied its voice.
“I love you,” she murmured into the dim light and felt him flinch against the declaration.
Stephanie forced a chuckle intended to put his mind at ease.
“Don’t worry,” she whispered. “You’re under no obligation to say anything in return. I know this can’t last. Just let me pretend to be your wife in every way while we’re together, and I won’t hold it against you when we walk away friends when this is over.”
In the silence that followed, Alexander held her so tightly that Stephanie found it difficult to breathe. He muttered something indiscernible, he appeared to lose some dark internal battle. Stephanie wasn’t sure whether his invocation was a prayer or a curse. She didn’t care. The only thing that mattered was being in the arms of the man she loved and becoming one with him.
When he drove inside her a moment later, she cried out, not in pain but in rapture. That she could push him over the edge of a steep precipice and ascend with him to a point in the sky beyond the mind’s eye was magical. As he carried her to the heights of shared ecstasy, Stephanie cherished every detail of that wild, fantastical ride and pressed them in the memory book of her mind. Alex’s eyelids fluttered shut and a startled moan escaped his lips as he exploded inside her.
Wiser by one day, Stephanie did not cry this time. Instead, she gave herself over to the delicious feeling of contracting around him. A woman could get no closer to a man than this: tasting the sweat of his body upon her lips, caressing the powerful muscles that willingly submitted to her will, revering the release of his body into hers, two bodies merging both physically and emotionally into one that soared high above the rocking earth below.
Floating back to earth, she felt herself a feather carried on an imperceptible breeze. Although she knew Alexander was thinking only of her welfare, she was sorry that he’d used protection. The thought of carrying his child made her glow inside. Oh, how she longed to take more than a broken heart alone from their time together!
The intense expression on Alex’s face softened as he voiced his astonishment.
“How did you get so good so fast?” he asked, tenderly brushing a light brown lock of hair away from her face.
“I’m a quick study.”
Stephanie smiled up at him, immensely pleased by the approval inherent in that question. With her limited experience, she was glad to know that she hadn’t disappointed him. She kissed the tip of his nose. “Would you care to join me in the shower?”
“Get the water started and I’ll be right there to wash your back for you.”
So blown away was Alex by the intensity of their lovemaking that he couldn’t force himself to move for quite some time. He lay on his back in bed contemplating the ceiling for a good long while, listening to the soothing flow of water start up in the next room. He could no more explain what was happening to him than he could expound on the virtues of poverty. The truth was, he was sorely disappointed in himself as a lover, something that had never happened to him in the past. Having solemnly promised himself to go slow the next time he made love to Stephanie and give her lingering pleasure, he couldn’t understand how he had lost control of himself so completely in her arms.
When other women professed their love for him, Alex had no problem dismissing such claims as pure manipulation.
This time was decidedly different.
This time he was afraid that Stephanie meant what she said.
He felt like the lowest kind of heel. Playing games with urbane socialites didn’t carry the responsibility as deflowering someone as genuinely sweet as Stephanie. Despite her protests to the contrary, he didn’t expect her to march back into her old life unchanged by their time together. Once she discovered that men found her utterly irresistible, it was a given that she would quickly attract someone who would be able to give her a ring that actually stood for something real instead of a ruse. Having experienced little of jealousy in his life, it took Alex a moment to recognize the emotion that almost bent him double with its intensity.
Unable to get over the fear of hurting her and confused by her refusal to be angry at him for inflicting pain upon her without asking for a single thing from him in return, Alex sat up in bed and turned his thoughts toward the shower. As tempting as were thoughts of soaping up Stephanie’s luscious curves, he doubted whether there was enough hot water in the hotel to wash away the guilt covering him like a layer of grime.
The ringing of the telephone interrupted his thoughts. Expecting a call from Larry Sutter, he answered it with a typical business tone. Dripping wet, Stephanie stepped into the room wearing only a towel. She didn’t want to hear this conversation secondhand. Alex pressed the s
peaker button down so she could listen as well.
Larry’s voice sounded oilier over the phone than in person as it floated into the room.
“I have some great news for you folks. If you weren’t here in Vegas at this very moment, you wouldn’t believe your luck.”
Alex motioned to Stephanie to remain silent and let him handle their end of the conversation. He encouraged Larry to go on.
“A baby should be available toward the end of this week. It’s a little girl. A newborn.”
“That’s wonderful,” Alex crooned. “Just wonderful. My wife will be thrilled when I tell her.”
“I’ll come through on the particulars of where and when the exchange will be made just as soon as I finalize the paperwork with my immediate supervisor.”
“I’ll have your money ready by tomorrow,” Alex guaranteed. “How do hundred-dollar bills work for you?”
“Just fine.” One could almost visualize the drool dripping off the man’s chin as he assured Alex that he would “be in touch sometime tomorrow.”
By the time the call was disconnected, Stephanie was shivering in a pool of her own sweat. A still-naked Alex enfolded her in his arms and proceeded to state the obvious.
Pretending with the Playboy Page 10
