by Ava Sinclair
“Bad news, honey?” Miss Edmunds asked.
“No.” Lily Mae wiped her nose and tossed the letter and envelope in the trash bin beside the table. The last thing she needed was to have Jace find it and start asking questions. “Just stuff with mom’s estate. You know. It still makes me emotional.”
“Yeah, sure…” Miss Edmunds offered a sympathetic smile and said something else, but Lily Mae didn’t catch it. She was already out the door and on the way to the truck.
The sunny day no longer seemed cheery. As she tossed the mail on the seat of the truck, she lowered her head onto the steering wheel, trying to collect her thoughts. A week. Tony had given her a week. She raised her head and punched the steering wheel with her hand. Why the hell hadn’t she looked at the letter before she signed the slip? Tony Orzo had likely sent it certified to her mother’s address on a hunch, and thanks to her complacency, the hunch had paid off.
Fresh tears began to fall as she pondered her situation. The words Jace had spoken to her that day in the pond came back with full clarity now. He’d said dishonesty was a deal-breaker, and even though she tried to tell herself this was a lie by omission, down deep Lily Mae knew a lie was still a lie.
Jace loved her, but not enough to forsake his standards. If he found out, he’d break it off with her. She closed her eyes, recalling the night of the proposal at the honky-tonk. His friends had cheered, but there had been more than a few women who’d cast wistful looks at her man. A man like Jace Whitaker could have his pick of any woman in Texas.
The drive home was a solemn one. By the time she pulled into the driveway, Lily Mae knew what had to be done.
“I’m sorry, baby,” she said, struggling to collect herself. “I’m so damn sorry.”
Chapter Ten
“I thought you were cooking something fancy tonight.” Jace looked down at the plate of reheated chicken fettuccini Lily Mae placed in front of him. “Not that I’m complaining. I could eat your cooking every day.” He winked. “Especially if I got to have you for dessert.”
Jace expected her typical giggling response, but instead Lily Mae turned away.
“You all right, babe?”
“Fine,” she said. “Just a little tired.”
“Maybe you’re pregnant,” he joked.
“No,” she said. “I think I’m about to get my period.”
“Already?” Jace put his fork down. “It’s not time for it yet, is it?”
“Sometimes it’s irregular.” She still had her back to him, and Jace stared at her. She turned her head, looking back at him. “So if you had special plans for us tonight, it’ll have to wait.”
“I understand,” he said, and decided to change the subject, attributing her mood to women’s issues. “Did you get much done in town today?”
“Yeah,” she said. “I went by ma’s house. The furniture looks great with the paint and the floors. I picked up those bolts from the hardware store.”
“Did you mail those letters like I asked?”
There was a clatter as the salad bowl she’d picked up fell to the floor. Jace rose from the chair and walked over to kneel beside her.
“Clumsy,” she was saying, and there were tears in her eyes.
“It’s just salad, Lily Mae,” he said gently. “There’s more in the garden.”
“Yes,” she said. “I mailed the letters.”
He touched the back of his hand to her face. “Are you sure you’re all right?”
She stood suddenly, and he stood with her. “I’m fine. Just not feeling well. Mind if I go lie down?”
“Of course not. When you wake up later, we need to talk, though.”
She visibly tensed. “About what?”
“We need to get to California within the next couple of weeks. Time’s running out to clean out that townhouse. I figured we’d fly up there late next week, rent a truck, and drive back. It’d be fun—a road trip. I’ve never been to Los Angeles. You can show me around.”
“There’s not much to see,” she said.
“Not much to see in L.A.?”
“I guess what I mean is not much I want to see again. I don’t have the best memories of that place.”
She was dumping the spilled salad down the trash compactor in the sink. Even with her back to him, Jace could see that she was still tense.
“Hey,” he said, reaching out to massage her shoulders. “I know you were lonely out there and got yourself into some money trouble, but surely your memories weren’t all bad out there? You built a career, right? You must have made some friends, business contacts. I think it would be interesting to visit your old stomping grounds, meet some of the people you knew there.”
She all but whirled on him. “Why?” Her tone was vehement, strained. “If you have something you want to ask me, just ask, Jace!”
He held his hands up, backing away. “Hey, hey… Did I say I was asking you anything? What the heck is wrong with you, Lily Mae?”
“Nothing,” she said. “But I… I left that place for a reason. Los Angeles isn’t Memory Lane, Jace. Stop expecting me to stroll down it, especially not with you.” She brushed past him as she made the statement and took her seat at the table. There was a frown on her pretty face.
“Do you need a spanking, baby? If you don’t mind me saying so, you’re wound tight as a clock. And I know you’ve got a lot on your mind, so if a good cry will help, I’m more than happy to oblige.”
In recent weeks, Lily Mae had confessed to Jace that the spankings he’d given her, while humiliating and painful, had allowed her to release emotions she’d pent up for years. Tears had been a luxury in her old life; even when she’d shed them they were rarely cathartic because there had been no one to comfort her. With Jace, correction followed by tears and his comforting left her feeling grounded and relaxed.
Jace had told her that as far as he was concerned, a spanking to relieve tension could be as good for their relationship as a spanking to provide the correction her submissive heart craved.
“All you have to do is ask, Lily Mae,” he’d said, and she had, twice. But now as he offered this time, she shook her head.
“No, Jace. I don’t need a spanking.” She stood from the table. “I think what I probably need to do is lie down. I’m just not feeling well.”
“You want me to make you a cup of tea or something before you lie down?” he asked. Jace realized how used he’d become to making the woman he loved feel better, and seeing her so inexplicably low had him feeling helpless.
She turned to him with a sad smile. “No, Jace. I’m just tired. Just let me have a little space, okay? What I need right now is an early bedtime.”
“Sure, baby,” he said, and watched as she left the room. It felt odd, eating alone. Once he’d finished, he cleaned the plates and put away the leftovers before going back out to the barn.
The foal and his mama were back in the stall after spending a day in the turnout pen. Jace had been looking forward to spending some time admiring the growing baby with Lily Mae, and perhaps having a follow-up to their earlier romp in the tack room.
He took his hat off and ran his hand through his hair, wondering if perhaps this wasn’t part of the problem. He and Lily Mae had sex almost every day. Most of the time, he instigated it, knowing that she loved how he took the lead. But now he worried that her naturally submissive tendencies had made her reluctant to refuse even when she was tired or sore. Their sex was usually vigorous, sometimes even rough, and Lily Mae always climaxed several times. But even so, could it be that it was too much of a good thing? It seemed he couldn’t just hold her to him without fucking her; she was that desirable. Now he couldn’t help but blame himself.
“Here, girl.” Jace dumped a generous helping of grain into the mare’s bucket before tossing a pat of hay over the top of the stall into the hay rack. There were a few more chores to do before he went in, and he headed straight to the shower when he got back in the house.
Lily Mae was curled under the b
lanket when he walked into the bedroom. He looked down at her sleeping form, a feeling of love and protectiveness swelling in his heart. Pulling back the blanket, he slid in beside her and gently wrapped his arms around her.
“I just want to hold you, baby,” he said. “Is that okay?”
She nodded. With her back to him, he couldn’t see the tears running down his fiancée’s face.
Chapter Eleven
“You’re up early.” It was dark when Lily Mae opened her eyes to find Jace pulling on his blue jeans.
“Long day,” he said. “I’m hauling that bull up to Beau Tighlman’s ranch to swap it out for one of his.”
“That’s today?” Lily Mae asked sleepily. “I thought you weren’t doing that until Monday.”
“I wasn’t.” Jace had turned to the closet to fetch a shirt. In the glow of the lamp on the bedside table, Lily Mae watched his muscles move as he reached for the hanger. He turned as he pulled the shirt on. “Beau’s mama’s having surgery on Monday, so he wanted to move it up to today.”
“Oh.” Lily Mae swallowed hard. The plan that would take him away from the farm from dawn till after dark had been moved up by two days. That meant her plan was moved up, too. She swallowed the lump in her throat and tried to keep her voice level as she replied.
“Be careful,” she said.
He walked over and leaned down, tilting her chin up with his finger.
“I promise,” he said. “But you have to promise me you’re gonna be in a better mood when I get home. Because if not, you’re going to either tell me why you’re so glum or I’m going to spank the reason out of you. Clear?”
His authoritative drawl had Lily Mae soaking her panties, and she nodded, her ‘okay’ barely audible. Only when she heard him shut the front door of the house in departure did she allow herself to break down, curling herself around his pillow and sobbing, inhaling his scent with each ragged intake of breath.
She’d planned to leave on Monday, after two days of praying for some kind of miracle that could allow her to see a way out of her situation. But now she knew that wasn’t going to happen.
It was all Lily Mae could do to pull herself out of bed and pack the suitcase for her trip. Her heart twisted painfully in her chest as she walked into the large closet and looked at the row of clothes on her side. Jace had bought all of them for her—pretty flowered dresses, feminine flouncy skirts, blue jeans and tight little t-shirts, cowboy boots—things he knew were her real style. She had no clothing left from her old life, not here.
She pulled on a scoop-necked dress with a delicate edge of lace around the top. It ended just above her knees. It was fun, girlish. It was also one of Jace’s favorites. She felt guilty wearing it, but wanted to keep something to remind her of what it had felt like—having someone who knew what she liked in every way.
She couldn’t keep everything. She couldn’t keep him, not with what she was about to do. Not with what she’d done. She’d broken faith by keeping a secret from him. Telling the truth wasn’t an option; Tony Orzo was dangerous, and she couldn’t risk seeing the man she loved hurt.
She couldn’t keep the ring, even though selling it would give her the money she needed to pay Tony. Lily Mae worked it off her finger and put it in a jewelry box on the dresser. She thought about writing a note but changed her mind. The last time she’d written a note, it had been designed to make him follow her. She’d not do that this time. After today, it was truly and finally over between them.
Lily Mae told no one. She withdrew money for the plane ticket at the ATM rather than go to the bank where someone might see her. She bypassed the closest airport for a larger one and paid for long-term parking for her SUV.
She lucked out on a flight. There were two cancellations for a direct flight scheduled to leave for L.A. thirty minutes after she arrived. But as Lily Mae buckled her seatbelt, she realized how incredibly thorough she’d been in sealing her fate.
No note. No word. Just a missing suitcase and abandoned ring and enough money missing from Jace’s account to let him know it was enough for a plane ticket. He wouldn’t be back until late in the evening. She tried not to think of how terrified he’d be to find her gone, and how betrayed when he realized she’d not been taken, but had left. Of course, he’d likely figure out she’d gone back to L.A., and he may follow to press for an explanation. But she’d planned for that, too. Her first stop would be to the townhouse. Jace had been right. She had thousands of dollars in jewelry—more than enough to pawn to pay most if not all the money she owed Tony. She’d stop to get that first; Lily Mae did not want to risk being at the townhouse should Jace immediately hop a plane to follow. She’d gather what she needed, settle up with Tony. And after that? The picture from that point was murky and uncertain, but the last time Lily Mae had left Texas, she’d started with nothing and built a career and a life from scratch. She could do it again if she had to.
“You sure look deep in thought.” The voice to her right was accompanied by the nudge of a pudgy elbow, and Lily Mae turned to see a flush-faced, middle-aged redhead grinning at her.
“Oh, yeah,” she said.
“Marge.” The woman extended her hand. “Marge Bridges. Nice to meet you.” She paused and cocked her head. “So, honey, where you headed?”
Lily Mae wasn’t in any mood to talk, but suspected this would hardly matter to her affable seatmate who struck her as one of those anxious fliers who felt compelled to chatter nervously nonstop during a flight. Now that the plane was in the air, she was trapped.
“L.A.,” she said.
“Well, obviously. Direct flight. Silly me,” Marge giggled. “So am I. My daughter’s getting married.”
Lily Mae forced a pained smile as she swallowed her instinct to say, “Me, too.”
“That’s nice,” she said instead.
“Her name’s Mindy.” The woman shifted her bulk in the seat so she was now turned toward Lily Mae. “I didn’t think she’d ever find a guy, but I have to say that Randy—that’s her fiancé—is just the nicest guy. I mean, a lot of people would say he’s too old-fashioned; he won’t let her lift anything heavier than her purse, holds the door for her, all that stuff. But she tells me he makes her feel like a lady. And really, what more can a gal ask for this day and age?”
Lily Mae looked out the window. Far below, the Texas sprawl was receding to be lost beneath the cloud cover. Somewhere down below, Jace was approaching the ranch where he’d deliver the steer. Maybe he was trying to call her, wondering why she wasn’t picking up. She imagined the iPhone he’d bought her vibrating on the kitchen counter where she’d left it before she walked out. She imagined the screen lighting up with the word that always made her smile: JACE.
“Listen. I’m happy for you,” Lily Mae said. “But if it’s all the same to you, I’m not really in a talkative mood.”
The smile on the ruddy face disappeared. “Well, I’m sorry I bothered you,” Marge replied, her tone leaving no doubt that she was affronted. “I won’t be bothering you the rest of the trip.”
Lily Mae didn’t respond. The last thing she wanted to do was listen to wedding talk.
She looked back out the window. The plane was above the clouds now. Occasional breaks afforded glimpses of the patchwork landscape below. They were no longer over Texas.
Lily Mae put her head back and closed her eyes. She tried to clear her mind in preparation for what she was about to face, but no matter what she did, Jace’s face appeared—the easy smile when he was pleased, the stern look of authority when he was not. Until Jace, she’d never met a man who could make her feel safe even when he was displeased. She could always count on him to be reasonable and, ultimately, to be forgiving. Except for now.
Dishonesty is a deal-breaker, but I’m not worried that you’d throw away what we have by ever lying to me.
She heard the words he’d said to her at the pond as clearly as if he were sitting beside her, saying them into her ear.
“I’m so sorry, Jace,�
�� she said.
“What?” A voice got her attention and Lily Mae turned her head, embarrassed to realize she’d said her thoughts aloud. She looked over at Marge.
“Nothing,” Lily Mae said.
Marge was looking at her with concern. “You okay, sugar? You look so sad. If you want to talk about what’s bothering you…”
“Thanks,” Lily Mae said. “But I really don’t. Talking won’t fix what’s bothering me. Nothing will.”
Chapter Twelve
Jace had never loaded a bull so fast in his life. Even Lyle was impressed by how quickly his boss directed the transfer and avoided Beau Tighlman’s attempt to wrangle him into conversation about ranching and cattle breeding.
But Jace wasn’t in a mood to stick around. He’d been two hours out from the Tighlman ranch when he’d decided to call Lily Mae. At first he’d not been bothered when she didn’t answer. But as the day had worn on with one call after another going to voicemail, he began to get a bad feeling.
“Her car’s gone,” one of the other ranch hands told him when he called to check, but no one had seen her leave. Now he drove as fast as he could safely haul a stock trailer with a one-ton bull on deck.
“She’s probably just shopping.” Lyle had been casting Jace concerned glances since they’d gotten on the road, and Jace realized how it must look. He was usually calm and cool where women were concerned, aloof even. But here he was, hitting redial every fifteen minutes, his agitation growing with each replay of her voicemail.
“Something’s wrong. She wasn’t herself yesterday.”
“Did she tell you what was wrong?” Lyle asked.
Jace drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and shook his head. “No.”
He could see Lyle shift uncomfortably in his seat. “Boss…”
