by Heather Boyd
“You might surprise yourself with the depths of your knowledge, my dear.” He shrugged out of his coat and tossed it aside. “You forget that we have spent as much time out of bed as in. You were born for more than this life.”
“What I was born for is not relevant.”
Constantine continued undressing. “That’s what I like about you, Calista or whoever you really are. You never hesitate to challenge me. Another hint about your past left unanswered. Another glimpse of the woman you were supposed to be. You have had my complete attention from the moment our eyes met. Now I intend to convince you to run away with me.”
He pulled his shirt over his head and stood naked before her. Her eyes drifted south over his skin, and the dark of her eyes widened. She licked her lips. Every emotion was there for him to see. His suggestion that she deserved more from life had terrified her, but she’d tried to hide it behind her laughter.
He scooped her up in his arms and tossed her on the bed with less care than usual. Her heavy gown had tangled between her legs, and she struggled to orient herself on the bed. Before she was ready, he pounced and caught her wrists. He lifted them over her head gently, and she bucked in mock protest.
“This is hardly fair,” she complained.
He pinned her with the weight of his body. “The more you fight me, the more pleasure I’ll lavish on you.” He pressed his lips to the hint of cleavage the gown revealed. “Lie back and enjoy.”
The carriage dress had buttons on the front and he slowly opened each, bestowing a kiss to each piece of new flesh revealed. Calista squirmed and he pressed his growing erection against her sex. Her thick gown created an impenetrable but necessary barrier between them.
Her nails sank into his back to hold him more closely against her. “We’ll never see eye to eye except in this,” she hissed. “I won’t be your mistress and I can’t be your governess, so if this is the last time you will visit me then we will do everything at least twice.”
Constantine met her gaze. “Do your worst. I’m brave enough to take whatever you dish out.”
CHAPTER 9
THERE WERE SOME advantages to being a dishonest woman in a responsible brothel. When her monthly courses came, Meredith was not wanted in the drawing room, so she’d learned early on to be indisposed for as long as possible. She curled up on her attic bed, huddled under the meager warmth of her blankets, wishing for the pains racking her body to ease and perversely hoping they would continue. The longer she stayed apart from the brothel’s clients, the more time she had to think over her future.
Grayling had gone. After one last glorious night beneath his warm hands, he’d returned to his home a sexually satisfied man, and maybe he’d even forgiven himself for his innocent part in his wife’s death. Women, no matter their station, risked much in childbirth. As Grayling had left, he’d asked her to reconsider becoming his children’s governess and insisted she keep the necklace.
Meredith held the pretty stones up to the light, admiring the elegant design and foolishly wishing she could wear them every day. They looked very fetching beside the ring she’d won from Linnie for seducing Grayling. But only a lady wore such gems by daylight. Grayling’s gift would be worn at night but he would not see them.
She’d reconsidered his offer. More than once. But Calista the whore did not belong in a grand house with innocent children. There was no way to move directly from a brothel to an earl’s home without being noticed. He had to think of his reputation and that of his daughters. If the truth came out, there could be consequences.
Still, with ample time on her hands, his suggestion bore thinking about. Meredith was considering if she shouldn’t change her name again and move on to a new life, a new career, somewhere where no one knew what she’d done. She was tired of smiling at leering men. She wanted no part in Lord Squire’s plans to make her his mistress either. It was all Grayling’s fault. He’d made her crave intimate relations with only him. Yet if she became his governess, he claimed she’d never need to make love to him again.
Was that a sign of his honor or an insult to her desirability? Meredith dropped the gems back into their box and hid them away.
When Gray had not come to the House again to claim her, she’d consoled herself that his absence was for the best. Yet if not for the convenient payment of her fee and the arrival of her courses, she would likely have returned to work, in bed with another man she didn’t care a whit for. She’d heard more than once that Lord Squires was growing rather impatient to see her. She had no problem keeping him waiting. She didn’t want his sweaty face looming over her.
Maybe it was time to go.
Footsteps thumped up the staircase toward her bedroom. Meredith placed her hands on her belly, fully prepared to convince the interloper that her pains were still as bad as the first day.
But it was only Cook who popped her head though the door. “There you are.”
Meredith flailed around in a hopefully convincing display of surprise. “Agnes? I’m so sorry. I still don’t feel well enough to come downstairs.”
The cook harrumphed as she juggled a tray onto a nearby bed and then dug into her pocket. “You can quit your pretense. You’ve more than earned a rest of a few extra days. You’ll be skin and bones if you’re not careful.”
Meredith inhaled the delicious scent wafting across the room. “With your superior cooking, I doubt that very much.”
Cook shoved a letter across the bed. “Found this today.”
Meredith peered at it curiously. Strong, bold penmanship graced the front and her heart leapt. Robbie. But why would he be writing?
Cook’s son had been her first friend when she’d come to the area. Against his better judgment, he’d introduced her to his mother and then Cook had introduced her to Mrs. Cohen. She’d joined the brothel that same day with no regrets. It wasn’t the first time she’d been the new girl.
Meredith quickly scanned the sheet of paper and by the end she was in shock. He’d left without saying goodbye. She swallowed past the lump in her throat. “He never said he was leaving.”
Cook harrumphed again. “Why would he stay? You weren’t exactly pining for him.”
Meredith shook her head. “Robbie and I could never be. I’ve told him before he’s far too good a man for the likes of me. I wish he could understand.”
Cook heaved a weary sigh. “Sometimes there’s no getting over your first love.”
Guilt ate at her. Robbie was good. He deserved a woman who could love him completely. That wasn’t Meredith. Love made one reckless.
Cook shoved the bowl of soup beneath Meredith’s nose, driving thoughts of her failures from her mind. “Best eat now before you perish. You’ve a visitor to see.”
Meredith’s heart leapt. “Grayling?”
Cook appeared amused. “Only if he’s taken to wearing expensive lace and an elegant wig. Your caller is a right proper lady. Her groom claimed she’d wait in her carriage until you deigned to step out. I’ll let them know you’ll come down soon, so don’t make me a liar.”
Meredith stretched to look out her small window. Standing some distance away from the house was a closed carriage drawn by two dark horses. Meredith couldn’t imagine who the lady could be.
She set the bowl aside, threw her legs out from under the blanket, and smoothed her dark skirts into order. She glanced outside again. Storm clouds loomed on the horizon, making the coach appear menacing. Meredith hoped this visitor wasn’t the spouse of one of her callers. She hated being brought to task by a possessive lady with no cause for her misplaced indignation.
She made her way down the servants’ stairs, ducked past the dining hall, and before she stepped out into the cold afternoon, she drew her hood over her head. The groom lounging at the carriage snapped to attention when he saw her, whispered to the person inside, and then swung the door open before dropping the stairs into place. All Meredith had to do was step inside the dark interior.
She paused three steps away, keeping
her gaze on those around her. “May I help you?”
A gloved hand appeared on the doorframe, the glove made of the palest and finest kid leather. A handsome lady stepped out, pulling her heavy, dark cloak tight around her chest. Tall, slender, and obviously well-to-do. Eyes of the brightest blue.
The lady smiled warmly and gestured they walk away from the carriage and the brothel. A groom trailed not far behind, only stopping when the lady waved him back. “Thank you for coming to meet me,” she said after a long interval of silence. “I believe we have a mutual acquaintance.”
A wife then. Damnation. She was too weary to explain that she wasn’t responsible for a gentleman’s amorous pursuits. She’d have to hear her out and then set her straight where they couldn’t be overheard. She showed the woman into the private garden and faced her. “I cannot imagine who that might be.”
“Can you not? I wonder if Grayling made so little impression on you.”
Meredith closed her eyes briefly. Not a wife but a relation, come to straighten out Grayling’s wayward life. Friends and family were often worse than a wife. “I suppose you are here to warn me off?”
“Quite the contrary.” The lady smiled. “I’m here for the exact opposite reason.”
A tight knot of apprehension twisted in her belly. “I don’t understand.”
“I am Lady Grayling’s friend. We grew up together. In truth, we’ve had the devil of a time finding you.”
Oh dear. This call wasn’t at all good. Had Gray lied about his wife being dead? She eased back another step. “I was led to believe she passed away.”
“Forgive me. That is true. She died two years ago, yet I find it hard to believe she is gone and I misspoke. The late Lady Grayling,” she clarified. “It was my servant who acquired your location on my behalf. Quite the chore I must tell you, buried as we are in the country.”
Her pulse raced that a lady’s groom could find her so easily. She licked her lips and then cursed the obviously nervous gesture. “There is much to recommend in a country setting,” she choked out.
“Grayling prefers the country for many reasons.” The lady nodded. “He has always blamed himself for Augusta’s death. Up until very recently, I despaired of him ever getting over her loss.”
“Oh.”
The other lady’s eyes grew shrewd. “Did he mention how Augusta died? In childbirth. Augusta was determined to give him a son. She had a daughter instead but never recovered after the birth. Her death was a shock to all of us.”
Meredith licked her lips. “I’m sorry for your loss, but I don’t understand why you came to seek me.”
“I came to ensure you continued your association with Gray. Aside from the past few days, he’s been rather happy. Augusta would never have wanted him to mope endlessly.”
Meredith rubbed her hands together to warm her chilled fingers. “Grayling has wisely, in my opinion, ended our association. He has a difficulty with my profession.”
The beauty’s eyes sparkled. “Most decent men would. Do you humor him with your passion? Do you lie to him when you are intimate?”
Meredith had lied to Grayling every moment they had been together, but not about the most important things. When they were intimate, he honestly aroused all her senses with his touch. She’d never lied about that. “No. He is a rather exceptional lover.”
Color crept into her visitor’s face. Cheeks pinked and her eyes grew round. “Then why did you not jump at the chance to become his mistress? He would have done everything in his power to give you a life of comfort.”
Meredith gaped. If a proper lady failed to understand her reasons, then perhaps Meredith was more damaged than she’d suspected. There were very good reasons for keeping her independence and avoiding permanent ties. “Because he would have come to believe he owned me. Grayling is a man who believes he can have everything he wants.”
“What is the difficulty in that? He wants you.”
“Yes.”
The lady strolled away a few steps and then turned back. “And no other since he met you, correct? And you’ve not been with another man, either, or so I’m led to believe.”
Meredith nodded, rather puzzled at why such a lady had concerned herself with the intimate details of her exclusive arrangement with Grayling. Surely Grayling wouldn’t confide in a woman of his own rank. The situation was hardly any of her business. “Not that I know of. Forgive me for demanding an introduction, but who are you?”
The lady rubbed her brow. “Pardon me for being dense this morning; my decision to come here has given me a sleepless night. My name is Lady Farnsworth, Arabella to my close friends.”
“The paragon? Do you have no care for your reputation? Once lost, it is irretrievable, believe me. What on earth possessed you to come here?”
The lady made a face. “Struggling with two stubborn souls. Listen to me. If you are both so smitten with the other, why not indulge your senses in each other’s arms? You make him happy. That is not a feat to belittle.”
Arguing with Grayling’s good friend was not something she’d ever dreamed she’d do. She’d never imagined meeting anyone from his life. “I do not wish to be a kept woman. I’ve always earned my way in the world.”
“You would have that and more.”
“But I would not be free. An arrangement such as he wants would have expectations placed upon me. If I wanted to end it quickly, there would be difficulties.”
“He would argue.”
So the lady did know Grayling. He could be very stubborn. “Undoubtedly.”
The lady paced a few moments. “Are you very determined to remain here in this profession?”
Meredith shrugged. “It suits my experience.”
“Have you no other skills to call upon? A talent for the pianoforte, a fine singing voice?”
Meredith grudgingly admired the woman’s misplaced determination. “I can see why you and Grayling are friends. He, too, hoped to tempt me into another profession. I told him no. I’ve fallen much too far to be governess to his daughters.”
The lady gaped. “He asked you that?”
Meredith nodded. “He seemed rather determined to make me leave with him but I’ve not seen or heard from him in the days since. I imagine he’s come to his senses and regrets the impulsive offers he made. However, given other, completely unrelated circumstances here in the House, I’m considering whether a change of scenery might not be the best for me.”
She shivered as she remembered their last night. Gray had done everything he’d wanted with her. At one point she’d even begged him not to stop. Meredith never begged. It was a warning sign of how deeply she’d fallen under the spell of Grayling’s power.
“What if you did leave the brothel? What if you came to stay with me while you thought over where you will go? Our properties may share a boundary, but Grayling surely won’t call for a few days. When he recovers and learns you’ve left the profession as he hoped, he would undoubtedly repeat his offers. You could take your pick and add as many conditions to the arrangement as you wanted.”
“What do you mean when he recovers?”
“A trifling matter. Nothing to be alarmed over. I’m sure he’ll be back to his old self in a day or so.” The lady cast a quick glance at the brothel. She tugged her hood a little closer to her face. “If you are determined to turn away Grayling’s attentions, I could employ you as a companion until you decide what to do. You could leave without notice if you find you don’t like me very much.”
Meredith stared at the hooded woman. “Why would you do such a thing for me?”
“Not for you. But for Gray I would do anything. He and the children deserve to be happy once more. Their contentment means everything to me and I think you are just what they need.”
Meredith couldn’t help it. She laughed. “Did anyone ever tell you that you are inappropriately optimistic?”
“Yes.” A flicker of a smile crossed her lips. “Augusta did once, just before she died. I promised to watc
h over her family and I meant that vow. Now, how easily can you leave the brothel to come with me? I fear you’re in danger of taking a chill if we debate the matter any longer. You’re shivering so hard I can see it.”
The lady reached out to cover her hands and Meredith allowed it. But she wasn’t shivering only from the cold. Hope, an altogether unfamiliar feeling, had crept over her while this stranger had talked. She could go if she wanted to. There was nothing holding her to this place save loyalty to a woman who’d given her a bed to rest her head. Perhaps if she returned the ring she’d won for seducing Grayling, Linnie’s pride would be salvaged.
She glanced down at the ring on her finger. The pretty garnet stone shone dully in the sunlight. There could always be others. Only if you are good, my girl. Only if you calm your temper and are civilized. The voice in her head echoed down through the years as clear as if her mother was standing beside her.
While she debated her choice, a sleek carriage drew up before the house and deposited an elegant gentleman of imposing stature. A startled gasp left her companion’s lips as the man hurried up to the front door and was whisked inside. Meredith swallowed her rising revulsion. If she were not already claimed and indisposed, she’d likely be entertaining that man. “Your timing is impeccable. I can leave today,” she whispered.
The lady at her side tugged her cloak tighter about her. “Good. One of my grooms will come with you to collect your things. If you don’t mind, I believe I should wait in the carriage.”
Then she turned on her heel and practically ran for the safety of the distant carriage. Although puzzled by the speed of Lady Farnsworth’s departure, Meredith headed for the brothel, pausing long enough for the groom to reach her side and follow. He appeared rather eager for the task of entering the establishment and craned his neck every which way as they entered the kitchens. Linnie was waiting in the center of the room with only cook for company. “Leaving, are you?”
