by Alda Grand
“You hung on to your brother for hours in the freezing cold water,” Lana said looking him directly in the eyes, “you did all you could and you thought you had no choice. It doesn't matter what you thought at your lowest point, what matters is that you hung on through sheer grit and determination and because of you your brother survived. Don’t beat yourself up over something that didn't happen.”
“I should have been stronger for both of us, he was my little brother and I let him down,” Einar said and embraced Lana pulling her in close to him. He held her like this for a long time as he sobbed tears onto her neck. Lana stroked the back of his head and kissed his ear as the pain left him. She wanted to absorb the hurt and anguish he had been carrying around with him for so long. She couldn't fully understand why Einar felt like he had let anyone down when his brother would only be alive because of him. Lana had never met a braver and stronger man than Einar in her whole life and he had unselfishly thrown his life on the line when he fought with her attacker. He would always be a hero to her.
Einar broke their embrace and got up. He rubbed his hands across his face and through his hair. “Thanks for listening. You are the first person I’ve ever told that too. I’ve bottled it up for so many years, letting it eat away at me. You can see I don’t even have any pictures of them any where in the house. I couldn’t face seeing them staring down at me from a frame on the wall,” he said walking over to the kitchen window and staring out. He looked back at Lana with a haunted look on his face. “I came close to burning the whole place down. I had canisters of petrol sitting on the front porch ready to douse the building. I was going to burn the place down with me inside,” he turned his back to her as he continued, “I was so close to doing it. I had the fuel canister in my hand the cap opened and the smell of petrol burning my nose. I stood frozen at the front door ready to pour it out. You know what stopped me?” he said laughing and it came out like the sound of dry bones rattling, “I heard one of my sheep off in the distance calling out. I was saved by a sheep bleating. Can you believe that? As I stood there ready to end it all I realised how selfish I was to burn it the place down. The animals needed me. Saved by a god damn sheep. Can you believe it?” he said laughing bitterly.
Lana crossed the room to his side and reached out to him. “I need you now,” she said as their eyes meet. He reached out and took her hand and looked at her his eyes brightening. Their fingers intertwined. He pulled her close to him. Eyes never breaking their gaze and then they kissed. She kissed him tenderly on his broken lips. Everything that needed to be said had been brought out into the open and Lana felt no judgement against him. She could feel the heat rise in her body as his hand caressed her back. Her skin prickled as he slid his hands under her sweater and ran them along the curve of her spine. His hands felt course and work worn against the supple skin along her back. He reached down and cupped her ass pulling her tight against him. She could feel the throbbing warmth between her legs as he pressed into her.
Einar lifted her up and carried her up the stairs to the attic room. Light streamed in from a massive window embedded in the sloping roof. They stood facing each other and all fear and pain was gone as their lust for each other rose. Lana pulled his shirt over his head and threw it on the floor. She ran her finger across his smooth chest. Tracing the tight band of muscles on his shoulders and biceps. He was powerfully built from a lifetime of hard labour on the farm. This is what a real man looks like Lana thought, not some pretty boy who gets his muscles for purely ornamental reasons. Einar was work hardened and strong. Across his chest and arms bruises from the fight where starting to blacken. She kissed a large welt on his shoulder, her thick voluptuous lips whispering like silk across his damaged skin. “Does it hurt,” she whispered.
“I think you’re making it better,” he said, all of the previous pain and anguish gone from his voice.
She kissed every bruise and hurt area on his chest and arms. Slow gentle kisses as she moved across him, getting to know his body through her lips. He slipped her top off and ran his hands down the sides of her body. Parts of her skin were still shredded and raw from her near death experience on the beach. Einar kissed each tender area on her skin, his lips warm and soft against her. Lana’s skin buzzed under his touch and she ran her fingers through his hair as he kissed her arms, her shoulders and a trail across her stomach.
They kissed again as Einar opened her bra and it fell to the floor in a silky whisper. His hands moved across her breasts squeezing and kneading them as his course thumb stroked across her nipples. Einar bent done and kissed her breasts his pink tongue flicking out and teasing the tip of her dark brown nipples. They turned and fell back onto the bed together a twist of limbs as the both hungrily pulled each others remaining clothes off. Their hands moved over each others body exploring every curve. His hands slid along her thighs until they met the wetness between her legs, her back arched as his fingers parted her folds and gently teased across her. She bit her lip as his fingers slipped into her sending bright sparks of pleasure shooting throughout her body. Her breathing came in rapid gasps as his fingers moved across her swollen clit.
He held her from behind, one powerful arm around her massaging her breasts, stroking her neck,trailing his fingers across the soft sensitive flesh of her stomach. His other hand between her legs was slowly drawing out the mounting heat in her core. Her toes curled as his fingers played over her. She could feel the pressure mounting inside her and she let out a long moan through her raged breaths. She reached behind her and felt between his legs and stroked the thick girth of his stiffness. He kissed and sucked on her neck as she slowly ran her hand along his length. His fingers moved across her slickly as her hips bucked against his hand. She opened her legs and drew him into her. His cock slid smoothly into her as his fingers moved across her clit. He slowly thrusted his hips back and forward as she tightened around him wanting to feel every inch of him inside her. Her breathing was coming in rapid gasps only matched by his from behind. He thrust forward and she could not hold back any more. The orgasm exploded from the centre of her being and she let out a series of long moans as every muscle in her body seemed to contract around Einar. She wanted to absorb him to stay bound together like this forever. Einar sped up his thrusts and his arm held her tight as he came inside her, his deep thrusts met by the smooth downward stroke of her hips. The tidal wave of pleasure subsided for them both exposing a fresh beach of sparkling beauty, black and white sand in perfect harmony.
They lay in silence holding each other in the afterglow of their passions. They stayed in bed all night. Waking from a light dream filled sleep, reaching out for each other and finding the others warm soft body with their hands or their mouths, until they fell back again into a contented sleep. Later that night as the ravens landed on the roof above, claws scritching on the metal, Lana and Einar exhausted and spent fell into a deep and happy sleep as they held each other close and dreamed of a new beginning.
Chapter 22
Thursday
Lana woke up with Einar's strong arms around her and a warming shaft of sunlight falling across the bed. She kissed his arms and the back of his hands and he began to stir against her. She could feel him stiffen against her naked body and she pressed in close to him. His lips brushed across her neck and she drowsily gyrated against the hard heat between his legs.
Afterwards they both showered and ate a simple breakfast outside, sitting on the farmhouse steps drinking steaming mugs of coffee. Lana sat in close to Einar as they looked at the morning heat rising off the fields. Thin sparkling threads of spider silk twisted and undulated in the gentle breeze. Most of the aches and pains in Lana's body had subsided and yet she was filled with a new type of ache and one she had not felt before. What if I lose Einar she had wondered while showering and he prepared breakfast. A week ago she had not know him and now she couldn't imagine being without him. She couldn't allow herself to take the next leap and truly open her heart to him, it felt cruel of her to even think
about saying those three little words out loud to him. Trouble was still trying to hunt her down and erase any chance of a life going forward, it would be wrong of her to tell him that she loved him now. This was not the time, she couldn't bring herself to say it while she was still in danger.
Earlier she lay against the tiled wall in the shower and watched the beads of water run down the surface. Her heart pounded in her chest a deep and steady drumming as a smile broke unbidden across her face. There was a before and an after. Everything seemed different as she realised she did love him. It wasn't only his heroics, twice saving her in as many days, it was so many other things about him.
When she was blinded by her accident and all she had to rely on was her hearing she could pick up a timbre in his voice that had made her skin prickle every time he spoke. There was an openness and kindness to his voice and yet even during those first days they had spoken she had picked up on an underlying sadness as if it was a note played so low she wasn't able to pick it out at first. Once she did pick it out she couldn't stop noticing the melancholy in his voice, the way he held back whenever he spoke about himself. He guarded himself choosing his words carefully and sometimes pulling back, the wall going up when she asked innocent questions about his family. Thinking back to those first days when all she heard was his voice she realised that she had already started to fall for him, a little bit harder every day.
When she finally saw him, his voice partly matched the face she had in her mind. He was square shouldered and thick around the biceps from years of farm work. She had imagined him clean shaven but was surprised to see his short scrubby beard of thick dark hair. He had dazzling blue eyes gently wrinkled at the corners and when he smiled at her his whole face lit up. She felt butterflies swoop in her stomach as she thought about his killer smile. His hands were strong and work calloused and as they whispered across her dark skin explosions of pleasure spun out from under his touch. He carried himself with a wounded confidence something akin to a once dangerous bear that had been hurt in a snarling and toothsome fight.
Lana's heart fluttered as the warm water cascaded down over her shoulders, relaxing her and allowing her thoughts to dance and spiral off into the realm of possibility. She imagined the shape of her life in rural Iceland. Would she work in the fields beside Einar, growing their own food and being self sufficient. She saw in her mind huge flakes of snow falling and covering the farm in a soft white layer as Einar prepared them hot chocolate. She was curled up on the old beaten up couch, her legs curled up under her while she read a good book. She would look over the top of her book while Einar worked in the kitchen. He would glance over at her, sensing her gaze and give her a smile that she couldn't help return. His smile crinkled the corners of his eyes while he exuded warmth and love.
Should she even dream about this kind of possibility she asked herself, especially while her life was still in jeopardy. She turned off the shower and stepped out into the chill bathroom, steam rising off her bare shoulders. She wiped off the mirror and looked at herself. We can make it through this she told her reflection, she had to believe it or she couldn't go on any more. Being with Einar had started to give her hope and she knew that was a dangerous thing to hold onto.
Einar tapped on the door and said, “Breakfast is nearly ready.”
“I’ll be there in a minute,” she said drying herself off.
Outside sitting in the sun and staring across the farms fields everything felt so peaceful. They existed in a bubble which contained only them, everything else blocked out of sight. I could do this every morning Lana thought to herself as she lay with her head against Einar's shoulder.
He finished his coffee off with a satisfied gulp and said, “We better get going as early as possible. This place feels too exposed, trouble could come from anywhere. My family owns an old hunting cabin close to a glacier a few hours away. The cabin is very basic. Its remote and theres only one way in by road. If he comes for us we will be ready and waiting. I’m going to grab some stuff and then we can head off if you’re ready?”
Lana kissed him on the shoulder and said, “I’m ready to go. I’m going to miss the cottage and the farm. It’s so peaceful here. I feel like I’m in a quiet corner of paradise.”
Einar took her hand in his and rubbed the back of it. “You will be back here again, I promise you. I was hoping you would stick around to see our village round up the sheep at the end of the summer.”
Lana could feel a tension in the back of her throat, a dry raspy tickle and she realised she was close to tears. “I’d like that,” she said turning away from him. She felt on the verge of tears and did not want him to see her cry. She wished she could believe his promise but Lana knew the shadow was creeping close to the door and soon it would engulf them. Tears began to spill down her cheeks and her shoulders shook. Einar pulled her in close against him and he gently raised her face so he could look her directly in the eyes.
“This man who’s after you. He won’t get another chance to get close to you like yesterday. I will do anything,” he said clenching his jaw and looking her dead in the eyes, “anything to stop him hurting you again. Where we are going, there is only one way in and out. If he actually finds us and even that is a long shot, I will do everything to stop him. I’ve been deer hunting since I was eight and I’m a pretty good shot. Your attacker won’t even have a chance to get any where near us.” He kissed the tears rolling down her cheeks and gently kissed her closed eyelids and said, “We are going to get through this, together.” She nodded her head and Einar got up and went inside to prepare for their trip.
Chapter 23
Thursday
Einar threw two bags into the back of the pick up truck and then got into the cab. “You ready to go?” he asked Lana. She nodded her head and he started the engine and drove away from the farm. Lana glanced back as they drove down the dirt road and she felt a sharp pang of sadness as the cottage moved farther into the distance.
“Tell me about your hunting trips,” Lana asked to try to keep her mind off the creeping dread that permeated her.
“I used to go with my uncle and my father every summer for a few years, until they had a falling out and the hunting trips got cancelled. The years we did go were some of the best summers of my life. We’d set out to the hunting cabin by the glacier, the one we are going to now. Spend a few days there. My father and his brother would spend the evenings telling me stories about the Iceland of their youth. It was a completely different country back then. People lead tough lives and it was a constant struggle to survive. My father and uncle would both sit puffing on hand carved pipes and talk about some of the characters back in their days. Tales about crazy hermit men that the villagers wouldn't see from one end of the year to the other. Only occasionally would they come down from the mountains to pick up some basic provisions and then return to their mountain retreats. Back then there was a lot of people who lived like that, or at least it seemed to me from the stories my uncle told. I think there is something in the Icelandic spirit that yearns for that kind of life. Separate and alone from any society, living off the land. The only laws that matter are those of nature. It is such a simple way of living that is appealing to a lot of us. We have strong aversion to rules and formality and these mountain men where the ultimate embodiment of that ideal.”
“We demonise people like that back in the states. They are seen as bums or drifters and if they are not contributing to society in some way we are usually suspicious of them,” Lana said.
“Many of our folk heroes are these type of men who live apart from the rest of us. So my uncle and father would tell me stories about these crazy hermits filling my head with images of an Iceland they both believed was disappearing. During the days they would set up targets for us to shoot at for practise. My uncle was an excellent shot and always very patient with me as my marksmanship improved with practise. After a few days at the cabin we would then head off across the glacier,” he said.
“Is it dang
erous?” Lana asked.
“It can be. There are huge crevasses that run across the surface. Some of them have rivers running through them at the bottom. If you fall into one of those you’ll never be seen again. My father showed me how to cross safely, to use a stout stick to probe the ground ahead of you as you walked, to avoid patches of snow as it might be a light covering hiding a hole. I’ll show you how to do it when we get there,” he said.
“Do I need any special equipment,” Lana asked as she watched the cars speeding by in the opposite direction. Her body stiffened in the seat every time a driver zoomed by who looked a little like the man tracking her down. Phantoms of your imagination she tried to tell herself as she listened to Einar.
“I have some stuff in the back for crossing. Crampons that clip onto your shoes to make it easier to walk on the glacier and ice axes for probing the ground in front of you. When I went as a kid our only piece of equipment was a stick cut down from a birch tree. Once we crossed the glacier we climbed a mountain range on the other side. Once we got to the peak of the mountain we would get our first look at our quarry. Herds of reindeer grazed on the open plain below. The moss and tiny brightly coloured arctic flowers were a favourite of the deers and they would congregate in the shade of the mountain and gorge on these plants. We’d move slowly down the mountain side and find the perfect spot down wind to line up our shots. On my third hunting trip, I must have been eleven or twelve, my uncle allowed me to take the first shot. This was a huge honour,” he said.
