by Sarah Tork
“Do you mind? I was here first,” I scowl at her, grasping the edge of the vanity tightly. Her hand shoots up, pointing at me with her index finger.
“You!” she hisses, giving me a nasty glare. “You!”
Okay, I think bewilderedly; where is she going with this?
“Yeah…it’s me,” I reply, then hiss back, “what the fuck do you want?”
I can’t take this girl anymore. After last night, then walking into the bathroom while I’m clearly using it, she’s crossed the line.
“How dare you!” she rages, her eyes flaming with fury. “You dare to come here, the same party as Xander?”
“Yeah, he’s my date!” I snap back.
“Lies!”
“I’m not lying. In fact, we’re probably going to—”
“You’re not a lady!” she screams, then slumps against the door, burying her hands into her curly mass of hair, showcasing her armpits for the first time, which are hairy.
Oh God! Her mother didn’t teach her how to shave?
“Yeah, I’m not a lady; but you’re the one with the hairy pits,” I tell her in disbelief, pointing to her underarms.
Her head snaps back up as she regains her posture. “Xander’s favorite place to go to is France!”
Really? She connects France to hairy armpits? Alert! Alert! We have a code-red warning!
“With hairy armpits?” I question, flabbergasted.
“You wouldn’t understand,” she snaps.
“The mind of a demented stalker? No, I wouldn’t,” I tell her back.
“What did you just call me?” she growls through her teeth.
Demetria pushes herself off the door, stopping right in front of my face, looking down on me a little. We are practically nose-to-nose.
Ugh, I don’t think so!
“Bitch…step back!” I order sternly.
“How dare you mock me? I am the future wife of Alexander Barns!” she says haughtily, her stinky breath assaulting my senses. I wave the air away.
“Sure you are.”
“Don’t you dare!” she hisses.
“Don’t I dare what, you crazy bitch?” I snap.
“Speak to me like that, how dare you!”
“Go ahead, try me one more time; I’m daring you now!”
“I’m above you…you commoner!”
Gasping, I turn facing the wall. “Tell me this, batshit-crazy bitch, did not just call me a commoner.”
“Who are you rambling to?” Demetria asks, confused.
“Someone who has been there for me, again and again! Talking me out of doing crazy shit that’ll put me in jail!” I snap, facing her again.
“The likes of you do not belong here at Madeline Barns’ home!” Demetria yells, appalled.
“Well, I was invited by her son…Xander. I’m—his—date,” I declare, enunciating the last few words so she gets it.
“Lies!” Demetria screeches, her wild curly hair flying around her shoulders as her head twitches uncontrollably.
Okay, maybe she doesn’t get it. I need to convince her, my way that is. The fun way!
“I’m not lying!” I yell back, frustrated.
“Stay away from Xander!”
“He’s my date…and I won’t leave him; we have plans to fuck later!”
Demetria growls, “Lies!”
“Nope, I’m telling the truth. If you want, I can record it and send you the video,” I proclaim.
“You lie; he’d never do that with you! He belongs to me!” Demetria screams again.
“Well not anymore; I’ve stolen him from you.”
“You stole him?” Demetria repeats, shocked.
Really? After everything, she chooses to believe that? Alright, I’ll play along.
“Yep.”
“You thief!” Demetria accuses, screeching loudly.
“Guilty as charged; he’s mine now,” I mock-confess, raising both of my palms up in surrender.
“You scoundrel; you’re the reason he looked so lost yesterday with that other whore. She’s part of your schemes too! She’s your partner!” Demetria adds as if she’s piecing everything together. She’s had her ah-ha moment.
I’m so proud! Fake tear!
Irina? My partner? Eh, why not...
Now let’s make this story a little more interesting.
“That’s right; she’s my partner. When you walked in last night, we were in the middle of hypnotizing him,” I confess dramatically.
“But she was practically naked,” Demetria says, shocked again. I think it’s time to take this thing up another notch.
Initiating Fucked-Up Vault #303 in my mind, I command it to open and spill its madness.
“That’s right she was…she was…she was using her witch-tits to lure him in!”
“Devil worship!” Demetria gasps. “But I stopped you!”
“You were too late; if only you had gotten off on the 15th floor with me, you could have saved him.”
“I could have saved him…I could have saved him! You tricked me…with your sorcery, made me go up to the 16th floor first!”
“That’s right; I played you with my eyes,” I widen my eyes and twitch my head, strictly for artistic purposes though.
“Don’t stare at me!”
Taking a step closer to her, I chant slowly, “Look into my eyes…look…look at me!”
“No! No, I won’t!” she screams, backing into the door, looking desperately at the ground. Anywhere except my eyes.
We need to change that.
“There’s no fighting this, Demetria; sooner or later, you’re going to fall for the power of…the power…” I stumble to think of something good. Then it hits me. Genius! “The power of the Lesbian Witches Council!”
Her head snaps up and she gasps as her jaw drops in horror. “Lesbian? NO! No, I won’t be possessed!”
I do something weird with my hands, jiggling them above our heads. “There, I’ve done it!”
“What?” she asks worriedly.
“I’ve sent Irina a message. She’s on her way over here…now!”
“Irina?” she screeches, confused.
“Witch–tits,” I quickly remind her.
“No!” she screams again.
God, she’s making this easy. It’s as if she’s playing too.
This is fun.
“That’s right. Soon her naked breasts will be shoved into your face and a ritual that sacrifices your love of cock will take place,” I inform her, looking away dramatically.
“My love of cock? My love of man…Xander!” she cries in disbelief.
“Especially Xander! He’ll be gone forever, and the only thing you’ll ache for from now on will be pussy!” I purr breathily.
“NO!”
“And titties!”
“NO!”
“Yes! Now look into my eyes!” I demand, taking another step closer to her.
“No, I won’t. I won’t let you cast a spell on me!” She melts herself onto the door; even I feel trapped looking at her.
Why doesn’t she just unlock the door and leave if she’s so ‘scared’?
Whatever! This crazy bitch is not my problem.
“Are you going to stop me?”
“I will. I will do anything to save the love I have for Xander. Your sorcery won’t stand a chance, not against the power of love!” she announces loudly, looking up at the ceiling as if love is there hanging.
Oh, well, the fun shall continue.
“Look into my eyes; Irina will be here soon.” I purr breathily again, leaning closer to her.
“No!” she screams, looking back down, her curly hair flying over her face. “No!”
Streams of tears explode from her eyelids and swim ferociously down her face, ruining all her makeup. It’s not pretty anymore. Now, she doesn’t look like a fucked-up pageant contestant; instead, she looks like a mental patient who trapped herself in a room filled with makeup and decided it was pretty time.
Only it isn’t,
far from it. She slumps down the door, landing on the floor on her ass.
Still crying.
Jesus, did I do that? I look at her as she chokes on her sobs, her hair now caging her in.
Fuck, yes I did.
Okay, I’m bored now, and her screams are starting to give me a headache anyway. I caress my forehead and sigh, “Alright, alright. Calm down. Fucking hell!”
“No, lesbian!” she chokes out in the midst of her sob. I want to laugh, but I hold it in.
“What?” I ask, stifling the laughter.
“I do not want to be a lesbian!” she announces nasally.
“I was just joking with you,” I tell her reassuringly, leaning over her.
“I can’t be a lesbian; I love Xander,” she sobs out. “I love Xander; I can’t love him if I love girls!”
Oh my God! And she has her ass planted in front of the door; I can’t even escape without kicking her out of the way.
That actually isn’t that bad of an idea. I ponder for a moment before completely disregarding the idea. I’m not that violent or that cruel to abuse a distressed, love-sick fool. I have compassion.
Really, I do.
Okay, a little; but it’s enough that I don’t have the heart to kick her out of the way.
“I’m not a girl,” all of sudden she begins to sing.
What the hell? She’s singing; that’s her coping mechanism? I’ve driven her to her breaking point. I’m going to be held responsible for her break down!
“Not yet a woman,” continuing to sing behind her curly vines. “All I need is Xander, because I love Xander.”
“What the fuck?” I snap in disbelief. “Is that Britney?”
“I’m not a girl,” she sings again, “not yet a woman.”
“You already sang that part,” I inform her.
“All I need is Xander, because I love Xander,” she continues her fucked-up melody. “I’m not a girl…”
My eyes roll; I can’t look at her anymore. “Yes, I know; but you can’t just repeat the lyrics. There’s more to the song than those two lines. And Britney never sang about loving Xander!”
I have to get out of here before she starts another verse.
“Not yet a woman,” she continues in her low, meek voice. I can feel my body starting to have the shakes.
“Please, I’m begging you, don’t sing anymore!” I cry back at her. “I can’t take it!”
“All I need is Xander—” she continues again, but loud knocking interrupts her.
Thank everything good and holy. I breathe a sigh of relief.
A loud voice yells through the door, “What’s going on in there?”
Demetria stops crying, turning towards the door. “Mother?”
“Demetria!” Someone calls from the other side, “Demetria, Mommy’s here!”
“Mother!” Demetria yells, struggling to get off the floor in her high heels. She finally gets up and unlocks the door, opening it.
“Demetria!” The older lady in the violet rose dress yells, distressed. She holds out her arms and Demetria slams herself into them, crying hysterically on her shoulder. What a mother. There for her kid, even though her kid is old, probably thirty. She’s raised a thirty-year-old head case.
“What’s happened?” her mother cries, then looks at me accusingly. “What did this whore do to you?”
Ugh, excuse me? I don’t think so!
“What did you just call me?” I snap, striding out of the bathroom toward them, and stopping a step away.
“Don’t you speak to me…and don’t you breathe a word of this to anyone…or else I’ll sue,” she hisses through her teeth as Demetria sobs on her shoulder.
Again, excuse me? I don’t fucking think so! I’ve had enough with these crack pots threatening to sue me.
I have no money anyway, but that’s not the point. It’s the principle.
“You’ll sue?! I’ll sue you and your fucked-up daughter for harassment and stalking, you stupid bitch!” I snap at them.
“What did you just call me?” the mother hisses in disbelief. “How dare you!”
“Oh, I’m sorry. That’s not your real name?” I yell, then face Demetria. “Demetria, what is your mother’s name again? Oh yeah…Acid Queen!”
Her mother gasps loudly and pushes Demetria away from her embrace. She takes out her iPhone from a pocket next to her ass and dials, “Charles, get in here now!” she orders curtly.
She disconnects and shoots me with daggers from her eyeballs, “How dare you!”
“How dare I what?”
“You…you trapped my precious Demetria!”
“I didn’t trap her; she came in voluntarily!”
“Lies!”
“Nope!”
“Why would she want to trap herself inside the bathroom with the likes of you?” she spits out in disgust.
And she does it again. I’m sick of being insulted. I think it’s time for some fun again!
“Why? I’ll tell you why!” I sneer. “Because…well actually, maybe Demetria should tell you; it’s quite a delicate subject.”
“What?” The mother stammers, and then looks at her daughter who has stopped crying. Thank God. “Demetria, what is this whore saying?”
Whore? That’s it, game over!
“Mother, I have no idea!” Demetria cries.
“Alright, I’ll come out with it and say the truth.” I say quickly before the mother has a chance to speak.
“What?” Her mother screeches.
“Demetria and I…we’re in love!” I finish dramatically, smiling brightly at Demetria whose jaw drops in shock.
“What?!” The mother cries out hysterically.
“That’s right, we love each other. In fact, she was going down on me in the bathroom before you rudely interrupted!” I inform her. “And I was really close to an orgasm!”
“Orgasm…what on earth?” the mother gasps in disbelief, then looks at her daughter in confusion, “Demetria?”
Demetria shakes her head ferociously. “She’s lying. I would never!”
“I’m not! Smell her breath; I’m sure it smells like my vagina,” I add.
“What?” the mother cries again.
“Mother, she’s lying!” Demetria panics.
“Oh, but don’t worry about finding any pubes stuck in between her teeth; I shaved around my cooch this morning,” I inform the both of them of this important detail.
Her mother’s eyes widen, “Stop talking!”
Demetria grabs her throat, “Mother…I can’t breathe!”
Her mother rushes to her side. “Demetria…baby, breathe; Mommy’s here!”
Umm, did she just forget that her daughter and I are in love and that she just went down on me in the bathroom? Demetria is good; she’s diverted the attention of her mother.
It’s time to switch it up some more.
“Hey, what are your views on same sex marriages?” I ask as she tries to soothe her daughter, helping her breathe again.
“What?” she hisses, looking away.
“I don’t know. Maybe one day, one day…your daughter and I can get married and have a family,” I explain thoughtfully as if it’s an actual possibility.
I smile at her mother, who has her hand to her heart with her mouth opened wide, gazing back and forth between Demetria and me.
“Mrs. Williams,” a deep voice calls from down the hallway. Her head snaps in the direction.
“Oh Charles, thank God!”
“Charles! Save us from this lesbian; she’s in love with me!” Demetria adds dramatically.
Wow, for the first time in my life, I’m being taken seriously. But as a lesbian in love?
Really?
Do I look like a lesbian? I’ll have to check the next time I’m in front of a mirror. Maybe it’s my attitude? Aren’t lesbians strong, capable women who take no shit? That must be what they see in me too, right?
I smile at the thought as Charles gathers Demetria and Mrs. Williams, a.k.a Acid Q
ueen, and hurries them down the hallway.
“The car is out front?” Mrs. Williams asks worriedly, her voice echoing down the hallway.
“Yes, it is,” Charles replies.
“Wait, what about me?” I call out, my arms wide open.
“Go now,” Mrs. Williams orders.
“Hurry!” Demetria cries loudly as Charles pushes them to go faster, their high heels making more noise against the marble.
“No…stop…please,” I say as they exit the hallway. Well, there goes another one. Damn it! What is wrong with me? I’m always driving the people I love away with my antics!
I guess it is fate. Oh well. But on the plus side, problem Demetria: solved. I’m sure I scared that crazy bitch away for good.
Case closed. Sigh…I should work for the President; I’ve got skills.
I have skills? The smile is wiped off my face. Where was Xander during all of this? He isn’t here. He left me alone.
There is a sinking feeling in my stomach.
I have skills; specific skills that I used against Demetria and her mother, resulting in their sudden flee.
And that’s probably what that asshole wanted.
He planned the whole thing! Fury contaminates every inch of my body. I want to punch the wall, I want to damage something.
Especially considering it’s his house.
But I don’t; instead, I pull my phone out of my bag. Thankfully, there’s a message waiting for me. He just sent it.
From: Xander 3:01pm
Relax.
I do something for you, you do something for me. It’s a great thing we have going on here.
Call me when it’s done.
Love, Master Xander
What the hell? My eyes widen as I read the message. I can’t believe this guy!
I dial his number hoping my anger doesn’t obstruct my ability to speak. I need to share some feelings with that asshole!
“Why, hello there,” Xander purrs, picking up after the second ring.
“You’re a fucking asshole!” I hiss through the receiver. “You knew she’d be here!”
“Of course I did,” Xander replies nonchalantly.
“Then why did you leave?” I ask, flabbergasted.
“Because, if I had stayed, she would have caused a scene; and knowing you, you would take care of the problem once an altercation between the two of you would start,” Xander explains.
“You’re messed up; you left me to clean up the mess you created,” I hiss. “You left me clueless and unguarded.”
