by J. Kearston
“I’m going to enjoy killing you,” her father declares coolly, absolute disdain contorting his features. “And it won’t be quick.”
I ignore his threats, finally getting around the bend out of sight and licking her throat in apology before backing off. She scrambles to her feet, breaking into a dead sprint. We weave in and out of parked cars, through alleys, and circle back to the waiting SUV. She rips open the back door, the seat already folded and slid back to reveal the storage compartment underneath. I leap in and she slides the seat in place, flipping it back up.
No matter how much I try to keep myself calm, the sense of claustrophobia settles into my bones so deeply I doubt I’ll ever be rid of it again. I can barely move, curled in on myself, and it’s completely black. Worse, I can’t even talk myself into a state of calm, because there is absolutely no way I could escape with the seat locked into position above me. I’m completely at her mercy to let me out, and mate or not, being that powerless is terrifying. It takes all I have not to dissolve in a panic attack, and as the sounds of sirens increase, it’s even more difficult.
Mile after mile, the SUV smoothly coasts on well-maintained roads that the fringes could only dream of. It’s hard to have any sense of time when it’s taking everything I have not to lose my shit, but as she slows to a longer stop than normal, my heart practically stops.
I hear the checkpoint guard’s low voice and Rin’s easy going replies, along with a helpful addition of flirtatious laughter. She’s had far more practice than I have at staying calm under pressure, of pretending everything’s alright as it explodes around you. I hate that she had to become so proficient at it, but I’m damn grateful right about now.
By the time we start moving forward again, speed increasing for a long stretch, I could crumble in relief if I had the room. Now, I just start trying to replay my route here in my head, hoping to get a sense of how long to the nearest town so she can let me out.
While the fringe towns aren’t without their own prejudices and issues, I don’t have to fear being killed just for existing like I do in the cities. But the most important part?
It’s one step closer to my pride, and hopefully being able to shift back.
Five
Rin
I don’t risk pulling over, not wanting to sabotage escape despite how desperately I want to get Ozzy out of that cramped hiding spot. But it’s just not worth it since there’s such a huge, open stretch of highway before we can even hope of making it to the nearest town. I have no illusions that my father is going to just take what we did lying down, though I scoff at the idea it’d be out of concern for me. No, he just wouldn’t want to lose face in front of his friends, let them think he allowed a shifter to make off with his daughter without seeking vengeance.
We’re going to need to switch cars as soon as we hit town, but how the heck am I supposed to cover our tracks? Even if I buy in cash, they’re going to want my license, or there will be some record somewhere of the sale. I don’t know how to hotwire a damn car, let alone know where to even start looking for the sort of people that wouldn’t ask questions.
I sigh in relief as the town comes into view, double checking the rearview mirror for the hundredth time. Security is far more lax leaving the city than it is to get in, mostly just keeping tabs on the shifters that enter. I didn’t even need to give my license or name, just come up with a bullshit excuse of my business leaving. Enough commute to work, trade, or shop with the neighboring towns that it isn’t unusual for humans to come and go.
Winding through until I find a parking lot outside of a grocery store, I finally pull over and slam it in park. I hurry up and shove the backseat out of the way and Ozzy is curled in on himself, so still I start to panic.
“Holy fuck; air. I didn’t think, oh gods, don’t be dead,” I babble, shakily searching for a pulse.
His eyes fly open and I brace my hands on my knees, exhaling a heavy breath as relief floods through me. He nearly knocks me over when jumping out of the compartment, paws on my shoulders and rubbing his face against my neck. I rest my cheek on his head, wrapping my arms around his middle in a gesture far more familiar than I’ve allowed myself to before now. But honestly, I’m just a jumbled mess of adrenaline and fear right now, knowing we aren’t out of the woods yet.
“Bear with me from here on out, alright? My knowledge is a bit limited outside of the city. You can be out in the open like this here, right?” He licks my neck and I take that as confirmation. “And no one is going to give you a hard time?” I don’t get another lick, so I frown, nodding to myself. “Noted. Okay, but we are heading the right way to get back to your,” I search for the right word, hoping I’m not accidentally being offensive, “pack?”
His golden irises light up in humor as he nods. I left my phone behind, and it really hits me just how dependent on it I am when I realize I can’t do a quick search for used car lots or directions. I glance in the trunk at everything I brought with, understanding Ozzy’s selectiveness now.
“We’re going to have to walk, aren’t we?” I realize with a sigh, looking at him for confirmation.
Buying a car would burn through far too much of the cash I managed to gather, only having access to what I’d already had hidden throughout my room. We didn’t have much time to plan once I decided I was going to run, and I didn’t want any red flags that would tip anyone off. Sure, I had several grand set aside for a rainy day, and I know that’s far more than most, but it has to last us indefinitely. If I burn through half on a car I’m just going to need to abandon anyway, who knows if we’ll starve to death before we get back to his home?
I crawl inside the back to awkwardly change into jeans and a t-shirt, digging for the running shoes I stowed, knowing I’d be leaving the party in dress flats. The backpack straps dig into my shoulders and I give one last, furtive glance at the vehicle before leaving it unlocked and the keys in the engine. Hopefully someone that really needs this stuff finds it, and if someone steals it, it will only serve to buy us more time, so money well spent in my book.
“We better get moving. The farther we can get under the cover of night, the better.”
By the time we’re on the other side of town and stepping onto the grass that borders the highway leading to the next town, my back is already screaming. I refuse to complain, not only because it wouldn’t do any good, but Osiris has things far worse than I do. Even though we encountered several people traipsing through the town at night, Ozzy on high alert and eyeing everyone suspiciously, only one actually started hurling obscenities.
As attuned as I am to his changes in demeanor, studying him daily for the better part of a month, I was surprised at his response. I’d have expected the person screaming at us would have drawn more of his ire than the quiet people, but instead, he just refused to look at the jackass. It’s like he closed off a part of himself to all of it, so accustomed to the treatment it was commonplace and nothing noteworthy. That, and engaging with irrational people only serves to fuel their rage, as I’m starting to discover myself.
It’s the quiet ones you need to watch out for, because you never know their intentions.
We walk until I’m pretty sure my feet are going to fall off, exhaustion settling heavily on my shoulders. I’m not used to pushing myself so much, and between the adrenaline blur of my shotgun wedding and walking all night, I’m ready to keel over. My brain starts dozing as I continue on autopilot, trying to trick my body into just one more step.
Osiris yowls, like a baby roar that can only be so vicious because of his size, despite witnessing firsthand how deadly he can be. I promptly fall on my ass as he bites into my pantleg, jerking me out of the way as a car veers too close and sends us tumbling. I watch it drift slightly off of the road before swerving back, someone likely falling asleep at the wheel.
My heart hammers, but I’m far more awake now; near death just as effective as a splash of ice water to the face. “I’m never going to win at this rate,” I pant. I don’t
wait for the response that I know isn’t coming, mentally filling in his half of the conversation so it’s not always dead silent between us.
“Of course you know what I mean, why must you always argue? It’s like you just enjoy hearing yourself talk.” I push to my feet with a groan. “The points we get for saving each other, obviously. Last I checked, mauling my husband’s face off spurred you into first place, and now you go and save me from getting hit by a car, too? Your pack is going to eat me on principle for being so useless.”
His chest vibrates with a warning growl and despite my exhaustion, I smile at his endearing response. We press on and when the next town comes into sight I nearly weep. The first motel we find I can’t even bring myself to turn my nose up at despite the dingy air clinging to it.
The man is crass and rude, but he also doesn’t seem to pay much attention to anything going on around him. It’s a relief, because I doubt that he would remember my face even if anyone came around asking.
“Make sure you bring the damn key to the desk when you leave,” he snarls, finally giving me a second glance. “Last thing I need are more bums to chase out of here. Stripped room eleven down to the damn studs last time some chick bailed with the key in the door.”
Maybe not as unobservant as I assumed.
Quickly snatching the key off of the counter, I head up to lucky number thirteen and bolt all three locks behind us. The fact that they go that extra mile in this place, but clearly on nothing else, isn’t lost on me.
I share a nervous look with Ozzy as I dump my backpack on the ground. “Someone’s going to bust in here with an axe, aren’t they?” I wait a beat before rolling my eyes. “I do not watch too many movies. Really, must you pick fights over everything? I get you’re tired, but that’s no excuse for poor manners.”
I look him over, a sad smile stealing my humor. “Come on, let’s hose the rest of the blood out of your fur before we crash. Your weird, cat-bath lick fest didn’t get it all.” He hops in the tub and I use the little trial sized bar of soap to clean his coat, toweling him off.
As much as I’d rather just pass out, I’m disgusting in a way I’ve never been before, and I already know I’m going to be sore as all get out tomorrow. At least if I take a hot shower now, it might stave off some of the ache.
The water doesn’t get nearly warm enough, but beggars can’t be choosers. I change right back into the same clothes, just in case we need to make a run for it. The fall air is chilly, but the walk kept me warm before. Now, damp and less keyed up, it’s clear just how poorly heated the room is.
Ozzy is already stretched out on the hideous, floral bedspread when I reach the bed. I shove him over to one side and out of the middle, pulling back the blanket and slipping beneath. It’s not the first time that he’s crawled into bed with me in recent weeks, but my bed back home is far larger. Now, he’s pressed against my back, and I chastise myself for keeping that distance until now. He’s like a personal heater and I scoot closer, the low purr vibrating his body lulling me to sleep like no comfort I’ve had before.
Six
Cole
I smooth my hand over Sarah’s forehead, brushing away the sweat and trying to hide my worry. Despite the fact that she seems to have beaten the worst of whatever hit her, she’s far from healthy. Honestly, I’m surprised she’s rebounded this much after the last hospital sent her home, claiming they just couldn’t figure out what was wrong with her. They pumped her full of broad spectrum antibiotics and gave us something to try and manage her fever, but none of the doctors we’ve brought her to these last couple of months have been able to come up with a diagnosis.
She’s small for an eight year old, and she’s lost weight over these past few months that she already couldn’t afford to lose. Her dark hair brushes her shoulders, tangled from a fitful sleep, and I gently run my fingers through it.
We don’t run under the same laws as the humans; we take care of our own. So when her parents were killed, everyone in the area stepped up. We’re all her family, despite the fact she stays with a pride a couple of miles from mine. They already had a few kids close to her age so they didn’t even bat an eye at slipping another kit in the litter, but not a single soul around expected them to get saddled with the brunt of the medical debt.
Damn it, Osiris. You goddamn idiot. What did you expect when you got in the city? Kidnap a fuckin’ penthouse doctor and cart his ass back here? Rob the entire bougie pharmacy and just start working your way through the pills until something worked?
As usual, he doesn’t answer. The pack link only extends about ten miles give or take, and now that over a month has passed without him returning home, we have to assume the worst.
Humans don’t like us on the best of days, but by the note Osiris left saying he was going to the city to look for answers for Sarah? I won’t be surprised if his face is the next one that we see in the paper. Just recently they provoked a bear shifter into changing so they’d have an excuse to put a bullet in his head. My brother doesn’t stand a chance if he went there already keyed up and overly emotional.
“She’s strong, she’ll beat this,” Ares states, face harder than ever.
He’s taking the loss of our pride brother harder than even I am, assuming responsibility of our chosen family. That Osiris was able to slip away without him knowing is a hard blow, and going on the assumption he got himself killed, that he suffered alone for gods know how long?
“He should have told us,” I mutter instead, walking out of the house and beginning the trek home. I don’t even feel like shifting for a run, more depressed than angry anymore. “We could have gone with him, helped him.”
Ares scoffs, running a hand through his short blond hair and turning his bright, orange eyes on me. “You think they would have let our pride into their precious city together? Like hell. They keep us separated so they can overpower us. We’d never have made it through the checkpoint.”
Logically I know that he’s right, but that doesn’t make me hate it any less. “So what do we do about Sarah?” I finally ask, effectively changing the subject so we don’t dissolve into yet another fight.
I never realized just how much Osiris balanced us out, that he was the glue keeping our pride together, until he was gone. Now we’re just broken in a world that already mocks the strength it bestowed upon us. We genetically rose to the top of the food chain just to stay oppressed beneath the humans’ feet.
They hunted the old predators to extinction so the world sought to give them a second chance, yet still they spit on the gift.
“What can we do?” he whispers, not wanting to voice the words we all know deep down to be true. “We can’t send anyone else to the cities, and none of the pack doctors or hospitals we’ve brought her to have any answers. All we can do now is try to keep the fever down, have her rest and drink as much as possible, and hope for the best.”
My stomach churns at placing all of our bets on nothing more than faith. As much as I hate the way Osiris went and got himself killed, I can’t say I wouldn’t have gone myself if he hadn’t.
By the time we get home, I completely ignore everything piled up waiting for us. We’ve barely kept up with the house these last few weeks, and I’m not hungry enough to bother making dinner either.
Walking towards the stairs, I pause when Ares offers, “I’m going for a run. Want to come? Might be good for you.” I hate the concern in his voice, even more so when he softens his typically gruff approach to coax me out of the house. “You haven’t shifted since he left, Cole. It’s not healthy.”
I grimace at the pity in his tone. “Enjoy your run.”
Then I shut myself in my room, crawling into bed despite the fact it’s only late afternoon. The air’s getting crisper, the nights colder, and it seems only fitting that nature’s on the verge of becoming as desolate as my life. I’m not even sure if I want to see the other side of winter, to watch the world carry on like everyone dying around me doesn’t matter.
S
even
Ares
My muscles burn, pushing myself farther than usual, but I’m not fool enough to think I can outrun my problems. Even the fringes wouldn’t handle me roaming around loose well, and while we aren’t as territorial as our ancestors, we still try to respect claimed shifter land here in the wilds. The temptation is strong though, to see how far it actually stretches. Nothing goes on forever so I’m sure I’d eventually run into another fringe town, and I think that’s why I’ve never gone more than a hundred miles into the unclaimed land.
I don’t want to know.
I want to be able to hold onto that fantasy, to imagine that if things ever got to be more than I could stand, there was somewhere devoid of all life out there waiting for me. Somewhere that nature overran so completely, not even a shifter would dare build a home there.
I could stay like this forever, surrendering to my baser instincts and become feral. A safe haven where I could be alone without another soul relying on me, without having to see the disappointment in bright eyes glaring back at me when I let them down. And I will, eventually. If I can’t even take care of my own, small pride, how can anyone look to me for answers, for help?
The temptation is too strong right now, so I veer in the direction of the neighboring town instead. It will help keep me in check so I actually go home tonight, because even if he doesn’t want my help right now, I’m not about to abandon Cole too. There’s no doubt in my mind that it would be the final blow to push him over the edge and I refuse to have that on my conscience.
The scent of blood clogs my nostrils and makes my wandering mind focus, mouth starting to water on instinct. We evolved to keep prey animals in check, so hunting starts from the moment we’re old enough to run with our pride.
