by Trina M. Lee
Through clenched teeth I said, “Show me.”
Sucking in a deep breath, Juliet pulled the curls away from one side of her neck and turned her head. A savage double bite. Ugly bruises marked her skin, spreading out wide from the messy, ragged punctures.
“I’ll kill him.” The decision had been made for me. Briggs would die. A flood of adrenaline choked me as I shot to my feet. I’d track him and kill him. Everything else could wait.
Juliet caught my arm in a tight grasp, jerking me back to face her. “No, Alexa. Please. That’s not how I want this to end with him. I still love him.”
Somehow I remained in place, quaking with anger. “He can’t get away with this. He could be out there right now losing his shit on someone else. I have to stop him.”
“Don’t hurt him,” she pleaded, tears spilling down her cheeks. “I know that I can’t be with him anymore, but I don’t want him dead.”
More than ever I wanted to rip the head off the man who made my sister cry. But rationale prevailed. I came at it from another angle. “What if it’s the only way to free him from madness?”
Juliet paled. Understandably so. She knew I’d killed Kale for the very same reason. Perhaps now she would understand the brutality of our world, and that I was as much a victim of circumstance as anyone.
With a shaky hand she set the beer bottle on the coffee table next to the couch. She looked like she was about to be sick.
“It can’t be the only way.” Desperation filled her voice. She grabbed my hand with both of hers, holding on like I was her lifeline in the storm. “I know he doesn’t want to die, Lexi. Please, help him find another way. Maybe there’s a way to magically break the bond between you. Or—”
“Or I take him as a lover,” I filled in, aghast that after everything Briggs had done, she still wanted to save him. And yet, who was I to judge? I took killers to my bed every night. “Please tell me that’s not what you’re asking me to do. Because there’s no breaking a bond between a vampire and its maker. Nothing short of true death.”
Juliet’s face fell. Her brows knit tight together, and she let out an anguished sigh. “No, it’s not. I mean, I don’t know. Maybe? God, I hate this so fucking much.”
Right on cue Briggs walked in the front door. I sensed his high-strung vampy vibes immediately. Judging by the shock on his face, he hadn’t expected to find Juliet here.
“Son of a bitch,” she swore, averting her gaze the second their eyes met. “I don’t want to see him right now.”
“No problem. Feel free to go out the back. I’ll deal with Briggs.” Boy would I ever. I kind of wanted to set him on fire.
“What? No way. I’m not leaving you alone with him.” Juliet braced herself, like she’d tackle me if I tried to go for Briggs. It was precious as hell and sad at the same time.
Briggs hesitated for only a moment before crossing the room toward us. But when he angled to go around the bar, Arys intercepted him. He grabbed Briggs by the front of his jacket and jerked him in close. Across the distance and amid the noise, I couldn’t hear what was said but I didn’t have to. Arys didn’t go easy on anyone getting rough with me without my consent. Briggs had crossed that line.
Not one to cow easily, Agent Briggs hissed something back in Arys’s face. Something that got Arys to release him and sweep a hand in my direction as if to say, ‘By all means.’ Although I didn’t usually appreciate my dark half’s insistence on playing the defensive lover, it brought a smile to my face right then.
Curious as to what Briggs might have said to get Arys to so easily back off, I watched my vampire draw closer with a dark hunger burning out of control in his eyes. For that’s what Briggs was, the bottom line: my vampire.
A trickle of guilt had me steeling myself for whatever he’d come to say or do. I’d made him everything he was tonight. The torment that had resulted in Juliet being injured was directly because of me.
I should have just killed Briggs that night at Shya’s. But it was too late for that now.
He stopped far enough away to keep his distance from both Juliet and me. Like mere proximity was enough to trigger him. Briggs’s dark gaze landed on Juliet. A soulful yearning shone within them.
“Lock me up, Alexa.” Briggs jumped right to it. “Seal me back in that room. Ward the door and don’t let me out. I don’t want to hurt anyone else.” To Juliet he said in a hoarse voice, “I’m so sorry.”
This was unexpected. Beside me my sister dissolved into silent tears. I still wanted to pound on him, but it could wait until she’d left.
“You’re sure that’s what you want?” I asked. “You know it’s only a temporary solution.”
“Yeah.” Briggs never took his eyes off Juliet. “I know.”
Alrighty then. I tried to get Falon’s attention, but he was busy doing shots with two barely legal girls at the bar. One of the girls erupted into giggles at something he’d said, tossing her bleached blonde hair. He slammed an empty shot glass on the counter and followed up with some other drunken nonsense, encouraging more laughter.
With an inward eyeroll, I turned back to Briggs and Juliet. “Give me one minute to grab Falon, and I’ll have him ward your door. If there’s anything either of you wants to say to the other, now would be a good time to do it.” A growl rose in my chest as I turned to Briggs alone. “Keep your hands to yourself. I won’t be far.”
I shot Juliet a pointed look, receiving a scowl back. This was the perfect time for her to break it off with him. To cut ties and let go. She knew she had to. They’d never been right for one another. She said so herself.
Glancing over my shoulder repeatedly, I hurried over to Falon. As he was telling some elaborate and most likely bullshit story, he gestured emphatically and the contents of his shot glass leaped out. I barely avoided being soaked before it splashed on the floor.
He glanced over and grinned. “Didn’t see you there, wolf. You know I don’t usually miss when it comes to you.”
Now I rolled my eyes for real and not just in my mind. “Sorry to interrupt whatever fabrications you’re constructing, but your services are required.”
“You want more already?” A brow raised, Falon stroked his own ego. “Always happy to service my queen.”
“Not quite. Come with me.” I led the drunk angel to the back, keeping an eye on Briggs and Juliet. They were talking. Well, she was talking. And crying. I felt awful because I knew what lay ahead for Juliet.
We lingered near them but not close enough to overhear or interrupt. Falon surveyed the scene playing out before us. “Has she finally come to her senses? Are you planning to kill him now?”
“Not yet.” When he gave my ass a drunken squeeze, I slapped his hand away. “It won’t be me. It has to be her. Juliet will have to be the one to make that final call.”
A few more minutes passed, and then Juliet turned on a heel and fled the building in tears. Briggs walked toward me, his face a crumbling mask of feigned indifference. He didn’t want me to see his pain, and I didn’t blame him.
Briggs stepped into the room that had once been his prison with something like relief creasing his forehead. He sat heavily on the end of the bed, watching vacantly as Falon warded the door by drawing an unseen symbol over the threshold. He tailored it to Briggs only, so that others could come and go. Not Briggs though. He was a caged animal again, a rabid dog with no hope.
I stood near the door with my arms crossed. “Juliet doesn’t want me to kill you, Briggs. In fact, she wants to keep you alive. Using any means necessary. Even me.” When his expression didn’t change, I asked, “Catch my drift?”
He didn’t look at me, staring instead at the scuffed toes of his shoes. “She doesn’t mean that. She’s just scared.”
“She’s not just scared. Desperation can make you do fucked up shit. You of all people should know that.” My arms shook with effort. I so wanted to grab him by the throat and slam him against the table in the corner.
Finally Briggs looked at me. St
arting at my boots and traveling up my body until our eyes locked. Desire smoldered in his deep brown orbs. “I’d rather be dead than have to fuck you to stay sane. Pretty sure that alone would drive me mad. Frankly, it sounds like my personal hell.”
Behind me Falon snickered from where he leaned against the door frame, observing.
Ignoring him I said, “Well that makes two of us. We both know you can’t stay caged forever. But I’m not going to kill you. Not as long as Juliet wants you alive. It has to be her choice to make.”
Briggs opened his mouth to argue, thought better of it, and nodded. “Fair enough.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
As soon as I stepped out of Briggs’s room, Falon caught me by the waist and ushered me into my office.
“What are you doing?” I squealed when he almost tripped us both in his haste. “I need to figure out a way to get ahead of Lilah before she tries something else. I thought Shya might still help if I made him the right offer.”
Falon shoved the recently-fixed door shut and pushed me against it. Then he dropped to his knees and pressed his face between my legs. “That’s a fucking stupid idea.”
“Falon,” I protested weakly when he started to tug my pants down.
“I’d love it if you could shut up while I lick you,” he murmured, his breath hot on my groin as my pants and underwear came down together in one tug.
Never had I seen Falon so drunk. It made him more intense than usual, and he was already a pretty intense guy. I still wanted to slap him for being so lippy, but the urge died fast when he pressed a messy kiss to my inner thigh.
Peering down at him, I plunged a hand into his silver hair and said with a smirk, “You know that Arys was just inside me not long ago.”
“Yeah, well, he’s not the one who finished inside you. So shut it. I need to taste you.” Then Falon’s mouth was on me. His hands on my ass pressed me closer as his tongue dipped between my folds.
My mouth opened for a gasp, but no sound came out. Drunk Falon was a spontaneous giver. Couldn’t complain about that. But I suspected the booze was merely giving me a glimpse of his true feelings, which he might never have let me see otherwise. I couldn’t help but flashback to the night in the hotel.
When he’d come apart in front of me. On his knees, just like this.
This was fallout from what had happened with Envy. He wasn’t dealing with his sins well. True it had been only a matter of days, but if his first instinct was to get loaded, then it had to really be picking at him.
Was it the guilt? Did he feel that bad about what he’d done to me?
Right after we’d arrived back home, I’d goaded him about the things he’d said to me while slashing me apart under Envy’s influence. He’d responded with a red-hot passion and an equally scorching anger.
That anger was gone.
I didn’t goad or taunt him now. I just let him get it out of his system. Truthfully, it worried me that Falon was drowning his feelings in booze. When I first met Willow, he’d had a penchant for liquor too. Heavy drinking just wasn’t a good sign. These fallen angel types, they didn’t handle emotions all too well sober.
Falon attacked my clit with a demanding determination that threatened to make me melt into a puddle on the floor. My knees shook, and I thought they might drop me. Somehow I managed to stay upright against the door.
This was no soft, delicate oral caress. It was a probing, pulsing exploration. With more pressure than I could handle, he sucked my clit into his mouth and flicked it with the tip of his tongue until my moans turned to soft, anguished cries. I twitched and tried to back away from the assault, but there was nowhere to go.
Falon’s fingers dug into my ass, holding me in place. “Come for me, Alexa,” he murmured against me, barely ceasing his attack. His husky tone, so full of desire and need, was almost enough to send me into the spiraling depths. “I want to hear you scream.”
My name on his lips, spoken with such familiarity and … something else, it rocked me. Falon rarely called me by name, preferring an insult or straight up wolf. During intimate encounters he’d called me everything from bitch to dumbass. Something about my name right now in this moment stood out as different. Intimate on a deeper level.
His sensual demand tipped me over the edge, and I came with a cry. I had to release his hair when claws sprouted from my fingertips. Clutching the door handle, I tried not to collapse. I shuddered against him as his tongue rode every wave right along with me.
When he finally pulled away Falon rose with a satisfied smirk. “Alright, let’s go talk to Shya. Or whatever hairbrained idea you want to run with next.”
Did he have any idea how transparent he was? I didn’t think he did. And perhaps he wouldn’t have been so easy to see through if I hadn’t been looking so closely.
Sure it might look like my fallen lover simply wanted to please me with an oral quickie. But the time in the hotel had been much the same. Falon on his knees, needing only to bring me pleasure, finding his own within it.
It was his way of taking power out of the equation. Taking power away from me.
Like some inner part of Falon needed to know that my body responded to him, not just what I could obtain from him as a succubus. Without letting me touch him, without being inside me, just inflicting one-way pleasure, he made it all about the pleasure, removing the power entirely.
That made my response real.
Was that what Falon wanted? Something real?
I need you. I want you. I desire you. But I can’t love you, and it fucking kills me because part of me wishes that I could.
His words echoed in my head, my heart. Every goddamn night since he’d said them.
“What was that about?” I gasped, tugging my pants up.
“Do I need a reason to lick your pussy, wolf?” Falon shrugged, dragging his tongue over his bottom lip, tasting me. “Didn’t seem like you minded.”
“I don’t. But you’re drunk and intense as fuck. What’s going on with you?” I didn’t mean to ask, but I was tired of tiptoeing around everyone’s shit.
With a loud snap Falon’s wings flared, and he trapped me where I stood against the door, his body unbearably close to mine. “You are what’s going on with me. It’s always you.”
I didn’t know how to respond to that. I’d known but hadn’t expected him to say it. Drunk Falon had me feeling my way along, tentatively testing how much I could pry before he shut down.
“Is that why you’re loaded?” I asked, touching a hand to the side of his face. “Because of me?”
“I can’t get you out of my head. I leave your side but you don’t leave me.” His silver eyes were bloodshot, but they had no problem peering into me in a way that nailed me to the door. Falon’s hand went to his head, a finger tapping his temple. “You’re always in here.”
Adrenaline kickstarted my heart. Such simple words yet so heavy. The fallen angel whom so many believed to be unable to love wished so desperately that he could.
“Falon—”
He silenced me with a finger across my lips. “Don’t do this. Don’t dig around in this mess between us. You might not like what you find.”
Emotion lodged in my throat. Problem was, I couldn’t be sure exactly what emotion it was. It felt like all of them at once, a knot that choked me and made me want to throw up.
“Is that why you showed up wasted?” I managed to ask around my heart hammering in my chest. “Did you find something that you didn’t like?”
His hand drifted down to grasp my throat. Gentle but firm, a warning. “Trust me, wolf, you’re not ready for this conversation.”
That we agreed on. Not for a second did I feel prepared to continued down this rabbit hole. But how could I let Falon plummet alone?
“What happened with Envy is eating you alive,” I said despite the tightening of his hand. “Isn’t it?”
With a snarl Falon released me, whirling away with a curse. “I’ll track Shya down. Go grab your dark half.�
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Then he was gone, leaving me shaken and confused. Maybe he would never be ready to face the truths Envy had revealed.
Maybe neither of us would.
* * * *
We found Shya at his house, of all places. Somewhere I’d have guessed he’d be sick of after making his prison a replica of it. When Falon, Arys, and I walked into the house, we found the demon tossing furniture out through the shattered patio window into the backyard.
He paused with a hand on the arm of his favorite easy chair, stroking it gently. “It’s all real,” he whispered to himself. Suddenly spotting us staring at him from the doorway, he scowled. “What are you doing here?” No longer the sinister Shya I remembered, he’d returned to the crazed and confused shell of that person.
“Doing a little redecorating?” I gestured to the pile of couch cushions flung in disarray on the patio outside.
“Get out, Alexa. I have nothing to say to you.” He stroked the chair lovingly a few more times before seizing it with both hands and hurling it out of the house.
“Not even if I’m here to make an offer you can’t refuse?” I ambled into the room. Shya had watched me claim Lilah’s empire, and surely he knew I’d changed in his time away. So I kept my distance.
Shya turned sharply toward me and brought both hands up. They filled with black smoke that writhed and moved, awaiting his command. “Back off, succubus. I’m not interested in making a deal with you. In fact, I wish we’d never met.”
A swell of pride made me puff out my chest. Of all the demons in all the underworld, who would have thought this grim bastard would be wary of little old me? The tables had finally turned between us.
“Not even if I’m willing to share Lilah’s power with you?” I went right for it, knowing that above all things, even love, Shya wanted power.
Shya’s eyes narrowed. Of course he didn’t trust me. His gaze darted to Falon and he scoffed. “I’ve seen what happens to immortals stupid enough to share anything with you. All you were to me was a necessary sacrifice. Now that you’re useless to me, I want nothing to do with you. You’re not worth risking The Circle’s wrath. Not anymore.”
