by Amelia Jade
“You’re wrong,” Cowl whispered, the anger in his voice tinged with pain, something she hadn’t expected. “You haven’t the slightest clue what I want.”
He was angry, but also hurt by what she’d said. “No? You tried to unbutton my shirt. Your hands were all over my body, Cowl. I could feel your hard-on through your pants. I think the evidence very clearly points in my favor.”
“You still don’t get it, do you?”
“I guess not. Why don’t you explain it to me?”
“Look at me.”
Her body was turning before she’d even had a chance to think over the words, limbs moving at his words as if he was controlling her like a puppet. How was it he could be so commanding like that? There was something off about Cowl, something…different. She just didn’t know what.
“Now what?” Her arms were still crossed in front of her body.
“I never said I didn’t want you, Andria. I do. Badly.” He looked away. “So very badly. I’m not ashamed of that, of my attraction to you. I won’t hide it any longer. But where you’re wrong, and where you cross the line, is by accusing me of being interested in you solely for your body. That’s a lie and an insult to me, and somewhere beyond the pain and hurt you’re feeling you know that. I know you do, because I’ve seen the compassionate, caring, and tender side of you.”
She glanced down, ashamed of herself. He was right, of course. Cowl had been nothing but patient and gentle with her, pushing no further than she was willing, and always backing off when she inevitably closed him off and retreated into herself. All that despite having exactly no idea why she did what she did. On top of that he’d interfered on multiple occasions to keep her safe and to stop Jake and his family from harassing her. All without expectation of recompense in any manner. It was one of the most selfless things she’d ever seen or witnessed in her life.
And then she’d gone and accused him of using her for sex. Really, it was the other way around. She was the one using him. For his strength of mind, body, and who knows what else.
“What do you want?” Her voice was small, petrified of what he might say.
Because she knew she might be okay with it.
Cowl was speaking even before her voice had died away. “I want it all. I want all of you. Every part. The good parts. The bad parts. Though I doubt they actually exist, even the ugly parts. Because they’re what make you, you. And it’s you that I want. From the very first day I walked in here, it’s only ever been you, Andria.”
She was crying again. There was no way she deserved this. Nothing that she’d ever done in her life had been enough to deserve someone like Cowl. So pure and pristine, a beacon of salvation reaching out to her in the darkest times. All she needed to do was reach out and take his hand. To let him save her. There was only one problem.
“I don’t know if I’m ready for that, Cowl.”
The big man smiled, some of the pain and frustration fading at last. “I know. Which is why I’m content to wait.”
“For what?”
“For you. Until you’re ready.”
“How do you know that I will be? I might never be ready for you, Cowl.”
His smile grew wider. “I’m prepared to wait as long as it takes. I’m really good at that.”
Andria wrung her hands. He was the light, but she was surrounded by darkness, and Andria refused to taint him with that. It wouldn’t be right. Until she’d come to terms with what had happened to her and the damage it had wrought, she could never be with Cowl.
“I don’t understand how you can be so sure of all this.”
Cowl’s eyes filled with sadness. “I just do. I promise, I’m going to do whatever it takes for you to trust me with your mind and your body. I’ll never push you further than you can handle.”
“Then you need to stop asking what’s going on. I don’t want to tell you.”
His fingers curled into fists, hanging impotent at his side. “How can you expect that of me, when it so obviously upsets my mate?”
“Your what?”
Cowl ignored her and kept talking. “You’re petrified of that old man. I’ve never seen you so scared. I don’t know who he is, or why he has such an effect on you. It tears me up inside to see it be allowed to happen, when if I just knew what was going on, I could put an end to it.”
“You don’t know who that was?”
Cowl shook his head. “No.”
“That was Richard Malkin. Jake’s father. One of the most influential men in Barton City, and quite possibly the head of one of the major organized crime rings in town. He’s a very powerful man, Cowl. Not someone you want to cross. He’s also on the Trustee board at the college I go to.”
The huge man snorted. “I’m not afraid of some overly-arrogant senior citizen.”
“You should be. There are plenty of rumors of people that have crossed him simply disappearing.’ I don’t want that to happen to you.”
Cowl gave her a look, revealing a side to her she’d never seen before. It was hard, evil almost, and utterly devoid of boastfulness. “If he so much as lays a finger on me, I’ll kill him before his heart takes another beat.”
Andria swallowed. She felt that Cowl would do just that. What worried her was what would happen after.
Chapter Fourteen
Cowl
Despite the newfound tension between them, Andria didn’t fight him when he said they were remaining closed and heading home early. She was still shaken up over everything that had happened, and readily agreed.
The entire ride home he was constantly watching the streets, the cars, and the people on the sidewalks. Any one of them could be this Malkin character’s goons, come back to finish the job. Cowl didn’t need to be up to speed with modern society to know those types. They killed first and didn’t ask questions. That was nothing new, and he’d dealt with it a thousand times over.
“How can you be so confident about dealing with Richard?” It was the first time she’d spoken to him since they got in the car, and they were nearly at her house.
Cowl thought about what answer to give. In the end he went with the truth. It was just easier that way. “When I was younger, my brothers and I each ruled over one of the three towns at the base of our mountain. We were fair and just, as much as could be expected back then. Our towns flourished, and people came to take them away from us.”
“What happened?” It was clear she didn’t believe him.
Cowl didn’t care. She would, soon enough. “We didn’t let them.”
It was the simplest answer, the one least devoid of details about how he’d had them killed or worse. That they’d fought together, and there were few things harder to kill than a trio of ice dragons. More than once others had tried, though their often snow-covered lands were not appealing to most of the other dragon races. That didn’t prevent some from coming anyway, just to prove themselves.
Cowl and his brothers hadn’t let a single one walk away. They protected their people fiercely, and in return they had been respected, though not beloved. That wasn’t required however—only respect and obedience to the laws they set down. Laws that helped the towns grow until that fateful day Cowl had buried them all in the snow and flung them forward six hundred years into the future.
They were quiet as they entered, but it turns out they needn’t have been.
Andria’s roommate Violet was still up, lounged out on the couch watching something on the television.
“Violet,” he said politely as he entered the house first, testing the air surreptitiously, ensuring that there were no other scents in the house.
It was clear. He smelled popcorn, the overwhelming scent making his stomach rumble loudly that both women heard him.
“Want some? I made too much.” Violet pointed at a plastic tub on the table next to her.
“I would love some.” He locked the door behind them.
Violet watched him approach. This would be the first time they’d really engaged with one anothe
r. Once before they’d exchanged polite nods as she emerged from her room and left for the day, but other than that their schedules didn’t line up.
“Not going to work tomorrow, Vi?” Andria asked, coming up and snagging some of the popcorn from the bowl without asking, the left side of her face turning up in a smile when he looked at her as if to say “Excuse me?”
Cowl didn’t want to say anything to ruin the sudden change in her mood, but he couldn’t help but wonder what it was. He sat on the couch and Andria sat next to him, closer than he’d expected from her.
Violet’s eyes flicked back and forth between the two of them, and suddenly Cowl got it. He wondered if Andria was even aware of the fact that she was effectively marking her territory, making it clear to Violet that Cowl was hers and to keep hands off. Not that he had any interest in Violet or her hair dyed to match her name. She had lovely brown eyes, and she seemed nice, but she wasn’t his mate.
That was that as far as Cowl was concerned. Andria didn’t have to worry at all, but there was something satisfying at seeing this side of her peek through. Especially after the hardships of what had happened earlier. It gave him hope that in time she would come around and let him completely into her life. For now, he was satisfied with the signs she was giving off. He might not be let in entirely, but she was making it clear that she still considered him a part of it. That was all that mattered to him.
Violet either didn’t notice, or didn’t care. She’d been staring blankly straight ahead since Andria had spoken to her.
“I got fired.”
Andria was up from her seat in an instant, going to comfort her friend. “Oh no. What happened, Vi?”
“They said I wasn’t working out. That was it. Nothing more, no explanation. Just that I wasn’t working out.” Violet sighed heavily. “I guess I’m just not fit for a desk job, Andie.”
Andie. He’d never heard anyone call Andria by anything other than her first name. It was cute, he liked it, and wondered if she was okay with the name.
“What are you going to do now?”
He watched the byplay between them. Andria was genuinely concerned for her friend. Violet was the only friend he knew about, and it was good to know that this friendship, at least, seemed alive and well. What had happened to any of the others he wasn’t sure, but Cowl knew that he would have to ensure this one lasted.
“I don’t know. Maybe move home with my parents? I’ve got enough money for two more months of rent, but if I don’t figure out what to do or find a job I can keep, then I’m not sure what my other options are.”
Andria rubbed her friend’s arm, got up, and moved to one of the cabinets in the kitchen. She pulled down two glasses and a bottle of wine, pouring hefty portions for both of them. She returned to her seat next to her friend, all while Cowl watched the interaction carefully, effectively forgotten by the pair. Glasses clinked and the pair of them drank.
“What about opening that cupcake shop you’ve always talked about?”
Now he perked up. A cupcake shop? He’d had some of those on the base one day during his orientation lessons. Cupcakes were delicious. The soldiers had gone crazy fighting for them, and many of them had been upset when supplies ran out too early.
He munched on some more popcorn as his stomach reminded him—as it did constantly—that he was still hungry.
“I don’t have the money for that, Andie, or I would. I really would.” Violet drank some more. “I just want to get drunk and forget my sorrows. But I’m tired.” She finished the glass of wine in one gulp. “Thanks.”
Andria moved back over to her spot next to Cowl as Violet got up. “Night, guys.”
Cowl waved farewell as she retreated into her room, leaving just him and his mate.
“I think I’m going to go to bed too.” Andria yawned to emphasize her point, finishing her wine as well.
“Goodnight. I hope you sleep well.”
She looked up at him, green eyes warming for the first time in hours, her golden-blonde hair messy and falling out of her bun as it was wont to do at the end of a long day. Cowl longed to be able to tuck it back behind her ear for her, but he refrained.
“Thank you, Cowl. You’re a good person. Much better than I am.” She got up, resting one hand on his shoulder for a moment, and then wandered off into her room.
Cowl sat on the couch for a long time, relishing the sensation in the shoulder she’d touched, the tingles from her hand lingering on for many minutes.
There was still hope yet. He hadn’t lost her.
Chapter Fifteen
Andria
She tossed and turned, trying to calm herself so that she could finally fall asleep.
It was impossible. She was too turned on. Her entire body was practically quivering with barely restrained need. Cowl had stoked the fires of her libido back to life with the long, smooth strokes of his hand. He’d played her body like a master, and she’d responded. The only problem was now she wanted more. That little taste wasn’t enough, and she yearned to have him come through the door and take her.
He wouldn’t need to say a word; the state of her body would tell him everything. The smell of her sex had to be filling the air by now. It was certainly ruining her underwear, forcing her to change before long.
It was bad. The strength of it all had caught her by surprise, and it was part of what had scared her into stopping him. Never before had she felt so strongly about wanting a man, about needing him. Just the thought of him left her throbbing, her nipples pushing against the soft cotton of her shirt, every shift of her body heightening her arousal as they rubbed just a little more.
Andria wished she’d had the courage to go through with the thoughts that had been buzzing in her brain earlier after coming home. She’d come so close to pulling Cowl into her bedroom. The need between her legs was like a blast furnace melting her walls away, aided and abetted by the glass of wine, which was making her even hornier as it worked on her system.
Would it be so bad to let him touch her? To give in to the satisfaction she knew he could bring her? He wanted her; he’d said so at the bar. Not only that, she knew he was a good person, she could feel it. Everything he’d ever told her had been true, except for some of the more ridiculous things, like his age or his ruling over a kingdom with his brothers. That was just weird mumbo-jumbo that she figured he thought was funny.
Andria was scared. She trusted Cowl, and the list of people she’d been able to trust since Jack had betrayed her confidence had shrunk until it essentially included Violet and nobody else. She liked it the way it was. The risk came with allowing him in closer. Allowing him to know more about her, physically and otherwise. That’s when the betrayal came, and Andria didn’t know if she could handle another.
It was easier to keep him at a distance, even if she really, really wanted him close. Like, right on top of her, his muscles flexing and bulging as he supported himself with his massive arms. She wanted to feel his heat, letting it warm her to the core. Cowl screamed of raw masculinity, and Andria wanted to be the subject of it, to have his attention focused solely on her and her body.
She thought back to the hardness she’d felt in his jeans when he’d been touching her in the basement of the bar. Her fingers had wanted to find it, to caress its length and circle the tip, but Andria had become thoroughly distracted before. Now her curiosity returned, and she wondered what he would look like naked. What he would feel like, her hands roaming across his powerful body, every inch of it seemingly carved from painted steel.
Eyes closed, she pictured him walking into her room, his shirt gone, skin glistening in the faint light coming through her blinds. He would walk over to the bed and order her to sit up. Andria would obey, enthralled by this man, at his command. She would do as he said and strip him of clothing before letting him do the same.
They would lie back on the bed, Cowl resting himself on one perfectly sculpted arm, muscles in it cording up, the other running his fingers teasingly up and down
her chest and stomach.
Her hand slipped under the waistband of her pants, finding the soft wetness between her legs. Andria forced herself to breathe deeply, wondering if Cowl could hear her. What would he say if he knew she was touching herself to the thought of him? Would he offer to show her? What would he demand of her?
She needed to find out.
Andria got out of bed and went to the door, opening it just a crack. Cowl was still sitting on the couch. He was staring right at her.
“Cowl?”
He nodded. He was still up.
Andria opened the door enough so that he could see her. Then she turned and disappeared back into the room. The door stayed open behind her, an invitation if he wanted to take it.
Floorboards creaked and a moment later Cowl entered her room, pausing just inside the door. “Andria? Is everything okay?”
“Yes. Yes it is. Everything is fine. Close the door.”
Cowl frowned, and then shrugged. “Okay, goodnight.” He started to back out of her room, pulling the door after him.
Andria sat upright. “Wait, Cowl. I meant with you inside.”
He froze, like a statue carved from ice. She wasn’t even sure he was breathing. “Are you sure?”
Andria nodded, and though it was trembling like the earth was shaking, she managed to lift a hand and beckon him toward her. “I’m nervous, but I want this, Cowl. Just…”
“We’ll go slow,” he promised, suddenly in front of her. She didn’t even remember him crossing the room. “If you get uncomfortable or change your mind, just tell me. We’ll stop.”
Andria nodded. Cowl turned to the nightstand and one of the lights there, but she stopped him, putting a hand on his forearm. “No lights.”
“Of course.”
They lay back on the bed, Cowl above her just as she’d imagined. Her fingers sought out his arms, feeling the strength in them, the power of his muscles.
