Jeffery trotted up and bumped Brent with his nose while making horse murmurs and pawing at the ground. “Itching for a ride? Me, too.”
Missy raised her eyebrows at him.
“I’m fine.” He wanted to go on a ride with her and enjoy the morning as the sun burned off the fog. Though the ground was soggy, Brent thought they could stick to the gravel road. “Besides, I’ll have to go slow so you can keep up.”
He turned and started for the stables to get their tack. He’d seen her eyes narrow, and he didn’t need another injury now, right when he was up to full speed. Jeffery came behind him, and he thought he heard Missy huff a sigh and follow suit. Whistling, he got both saddles and readied their horses.
“Here, you lead her out.” He handed her Speckle's reins. “Did you ride much this week? I hardly saw you around here.”
“Some.” She swung up into her saddle, as though she'd been riding for years, not days.
He mounted and they started off together. “Missy, I’m sorry for the cold way I acted when you came here.”
Her eyes went wide and her brows rose.
“Never heard an apology before?” he teased. They rode side by side out toward the main road, and he didn’t press her to say anything. He could see her relax as they rode and he enjoyed just having her beside him, doing something they both loved. “Look at you, a natural already.”
“A natural?” She patted her horse. “I guess I do enjoy riding. Sure wasn’t easy that first day!” He joined in her laughing, mostly because he loved the light and carefree sound she made. Enchanted, he couldn’t help but be encouraged.
“So, have you worked things out with your boyfriend?” Now that thought had popped into his mind and out his mouth. During the last week, he’d spent far too much time wondering if she still talked to the man she’d left, if she thought about him, and if she planned to go back to him.
Her quick cutting look proved he’d been a real jerk to ask. “What boyfriend would that be?”
“Your boss. Sounded like you had a fight before you came out here.”
“It was over before I came out here, and I don’t plan on ever speaking with him again.” She nudged the horse ahead, leaving him to watch her hair shimmer in the weak sunlight that made it through the morning fog.
The light vanished and he looked up. The fog was dissipating, but a front of dark clouds followed behind. He usually saw a storm coming, so he wasn’t happy that she’d distracted him.
“It’s about to break loose,” he told her just as a brisk wind flipped her hair around. She followed his lead and turned her horse to head back.
* * * *
In the stables, Brent moved the brush across Jeffrey’s back with long, sweeping stokes. “I shouldn’t have asked.”
“It’s fine.” She shrugged without looking at him. “But if we’re going to be friends, we can’t do that.”
“Do what?” And why did they need to stick to friendship? How could they deny what they felt?
“Ask questions.”
“Why not?” His hand paused as he looked at her. “Friends do that.” Her face was guarded, setting him on edge.
“Ok, fine, but my past is off limits. I’m sure by now you understand it’s too hard for me to talk about.” When she pulled in a deep breath, he noticed her hands tremble on the horse.
Speckle made a loving noise as if she felt Missy’s fear, and Brent felt awful for causing it.
“I’m sorry. Listen, I’ll try to keep to that, and if I mess up, just tell me.”
She smiled. “Thanks.”
He stepped closer so that when she turned, she was inches from him. They stood close enough for him to smell her lavender shampoo.
Confusion washed across her face before understanding.
“You change gears awful fast.” Her try at lightness failed and her voice came out heavy, husky.
“Think so?” His voice grew as quiet as it could without becoming a whisper. “If you don’t want to kiss me, you’d better run. Now.”
Chapter Five
She had to be imaging the care in his eyes. This hadn’t been her goal. So when had these feelings snuck in?
He hovered, obviously waiting for her to either make a move or run.
He wasn’t her boss this time, but close enough. Wasn’t she here to prove she could make it on a ranch? She wanted to turn away, but leaned closer instead.
Weren’t his eyes magnificent? She thought of a clear winter sky, so freshly light blue. His eyes searched hers, searched her face as if to memorize, and settled on her mouth. Oh, no, her mouth was open, her lip trembling.
Get a grip, Missy! Get a grip and run! No, no, no, why was she leaning forward? Her heart hammered as his head tilted, leaned, and then it happened. Their lips met.
Something sharp and sweet washed through her, starting at her mouth and running down to her feet. His lips moved against hers and she nearly jumped. She would have, if she could move.
She was timid and he seemed to feel it. Though their tongues touched lightly, he kept space between their bodies. He rested one hand on her arm and nothing more.
That made her want more of him.
Brent tasted like the outdoors, sweet like autumn sunshine and country air. The smell of his leather coat and his aftershave racked through her. She’d never smelled anything like it.
Or felt anything like his lips on hers, so tender and asking. She reached up and found his shoulders with her hands and leaned closer. She’d lost control. His arms came around her, encircling the dip of her waist. She ached for him, wanted his hands to tease lightly all over her bare skin, but she knew better. She could lose everything again. What was she doing?
Sanity raised its troubling head and she pushed out of Brent’s hold. She shouldn’t have kissed him.
She’d vowed to never again get involved with someone she worked with. Not after the struggle to get past the humiliation and the rumors. She turned and ran clear to her house.
* * * *
“Missy!”
She didn’t hear. She was gone.
His body felt on fire. For a minute, he’d been lost in the most moving experience of his life. His lips felt cold now that hers weren’t there.
Was he loosing it, or had she leaned toward him first? The woman had no idea of what she wanted. Her reaction sent a chill through him, though he couldn’t tell if she’d been shocked or disgusted. Both were disheartening.
He breathed deeply and debated for a minute, and then started walking. Maybe it wouldn’t be as simple as getting her into bed. He had tried to tell himself that would fix these feelings for both of them so they could get on with their work.
But she was afraid of something, and he felt a lot more than plain old lust.
If only he knew what to do about it. For the moment, he needed to make sure she was okay. He knocked five times before she opened the door. The words he wanted to say just didn’t work. Not when he saw the pain in her big brown eyes.
She’d removed her red coat, revealing the white long sleeve shirt she wore underneath. It stretched across her breasts, making him wish they were here to continue what they’d started, not discuss why they wouldn’t be.
Something big stood in the way of her trusting him. He could see it in her expression. Her pale face made her eyes larger, darker. He wanted to hold her and kiss her again to make it all right, but not after what just happened.
“Missy, don’t you trust me?”
Taking several steps back, she nodded. At the very least, she said she did. Maybe she’d been upset with herself for breaking a personal rule. Could it be that simple?
“Then did I read you wrong?” he asked, stepping inside and shutting the door.
“No.” Her hunched shoulders kept him close to the door, watching her as she took a deep breath. When she motioned to the couch, he came in and sat, leaving space between them.
Suddenly he noticed the pile of folded blankets next to the couch. “You’re sleeping out h
ere?”
Shrugging, she tried to say something, but just ran her fingers through her hair. He didn’t understand for a minute, but it didn’t take long. From where he sat, he could see down the hallway, to the bedroom door. It was shut. He doubted she’d gone into Ben’s old room.
Brent felt so lousy about himself he didn’t know what to say.
She cleared her throat. “I’m sorry.”
Even if she’d kissed him first, which he doubted now, it wasn’t her fault. “You don’t have to be sorry for it.”
She looked up to his face again. He saw regret in her eyes and braced for the words. “I have to be, and I can’t do that again.”
“You didn’t like it?” His question went over the line, but he had to know. He wasn’t sure how he’d walk away from someone so mysterious, so beautiful.
“I did like kissing you, Brent.” The way she spoke slowly had him bracing for the ‘but’. “I’m just not ready for a relationship.”
“I wasn’t either. There’s no way to prepare for that.” She’d about knocked him over, sent him into moans.
“I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for that.” She stood back up as she spoke, and he jumped to his feet after her.
“If you’re not attracted to me, tell me, but please don’t turn away if it’s something else.”
She folded her arms. “I don’t have to explain this to you, or anybody. I told you my problems are just that, remember? My problems.” Anger simmered under her quick words. She took three long strides to the door and grabbed the handle.
She was tall, but he was taller and took two steps to catch her. He planted a hand on top of hers. “That’s not how it works with people who care about you.”
“What?”
“Yeah, I care about you.” Without warning, he planted his mouth on hers again. She made a noise that started like an hmm and ended with an ahh! She leaned into him, going soft, her hands relaxing on his shoulders, but it ended quickly. With a shove, she separated them.
Eyes dancing with fury and heat, she declared, “I don’t have to kiss you, and I don’t have to explain!”
Taking her gently by the chin, he held her so she looked straight into his eyes. “Of course you don’t have to kiss me. But since you did back there, you should tell me why you don’t want to do it again.”
“No!” She shook, trying not to cry. “I can’t.”
“Why, Missy? What happened that made you this way? Because your boss lied about you, or because he did something else?”
She stared at him with icy eyes.
“He hurt you?” Sure, he was blunt. He’d always been that way. But he regretted this instance of it because the emotion slid off her face. He’d lost her.
Instead of responding, she passed him and walked down the hall. Man, he needed to learn how to talk to people. He went to the bathroom door where she’d locked herself in.
“I’m sorry, Missy.”
She answered with silence.
“I’m too curious for my own good.” He resigned himself to talking to the door. “I’ve grown to care about you. It happened when we met, but I didn’t want to like you. I can’t fight it now. So I’m sorry about whatever happened.”
Wow, his longest speech ever. He heard quiet crying and nothing else.
“I hold on too tight, I know.” Confession time now, he guessed. “I don’t want to push you away. I don’t want to lose you, too.” She didn’t answer and he was out of words.
Now what? He could hear her crying and couldn’t do a damn thing about it.
Sure, he could sit and wait. Or he could remember his place, or more specifically that this was her place now, her home.
“Okay, I’m leaving, but I won’t give up on you.” His legs felt stiff on his way out, like he had to push through river water to get outside.
He gulped down a cool breath of sweet Oregon air. This complicated the hell out of things, but there was no turning back.
* * * *
“Has there been a flash flood warning?” Dale asked as he met Brent at the stable entrance in the early morning.
“Not officially, but I feel something coming. Let’s get the rest of the horses in.” He’d brought in two already, but he needed help to calm down the horses remaining in the pasture.
They were excited about something, and it just might be the heavy rain they’d had for days now.
The horses couldn’t seem to make up their minds once they were inside for the day. They settled down, then panicked again.
“It’s just rain,” he muttered to himself before the truth hit him. His mood, not the weather, was spooking them.
He trudged back to the pasture. How was he supposed to act normal? He wanted to help Missy through this, whatever it was. Plus, they couldn’t work together with things the way they were.
With the horses in their stalls, he felt better.
“Brent?” That one quiet word behind him made him jump. He turned around to find Missy bundled in a thick brown jacket, her arms crossed and pulled close.
He stood, staring, a full minute at her lips, red from the cold, and her weepy eyes. They were wide, driving him crazy, and reminding him he should answer.
“Missy.” He stepped closer, gauging her reaction, but she didn’t move.
“I’m sorry I shut you out like that.” She dropped her gaze.
“No, I am. I said the wrong thing.” This felt like a second chance to talk things out, but he knew to step lightly. He wondered if he could at least offer a hand of support on her shoulder.
She was trying not to cry and needed something. So he took the last step, but stopped in front of her, not touching, just waiting. “Well, if we’re both sorry, let’s just move on. If you want to, that is.”
When she nodded, he moved his arm across her back and drew her closer. That sweet lavender smell reached him right before she relaxed into him. Her head leaned and rested on his shoulder.
“Can we be friends again?” she asked. Feeling her in his arms stirred protective feelings. She felt like a fragile fawn, too wobbly to stand on its new legs. Her lavender and spice scent stirred other things, but he ignored them.
“Friends, Missy.” And anything else you want from me. He hoped she sensed that thought because speaking it wouldn’t be right.
He couldn’t fight for a woman who asked him for his friendship. She clearly needed that, someone to depend on. He could be a good friend, it had always been the more that caused problems.
* * * *
After she looked out her window the next morning and saw Brent working with horses, Missy stayed indoors for the day. Somehow she had to keep busy and not think about their kisses.
The cabin had no TV, so she tried to finish the cleaning. She’d added some touches of her own here and there, though she’d been hesitant to replace Ben’s things with her own.
Coming here turned her life around. She’d spent three years thinking about the firm, her accounts, building her reputation. She’d fought and won battles.
Now she questioned what she’d been fighting for. Whatever she sought before, wasn’t there.
She stood by the window that faced down the road, toward Brent’s house. She couldn’t see it.
After glancing around the empty cabin, she went outside for a walk. It was eleven, and she saw Dale and Ivan working on the fence Brent was adding to section off the pasture.
She needed to talk to them, without Brent around. What better way to befriend two men than with food? She headed inside to fix something. Twenty minutes later, she brought them hot drinks and sandwiches and hung around to hear their rodeo stories.
Halfway through Dale’s recounting of the time he broke four ribs, she heard Brent’s giant truck hauling down the gravel road. She knew she wouldn’t get out of there in time without being rude, and that would undo her efforts with the men.
He pulled the truck up by his house and headed their way. Why should she avoid him? She’d never felt so safe with anyone else.
She watched him walk, watched his long jean-clad legs. He was dependable about those jeans. Every day she got to drool over him in them.
Teasing aside, he was patient. He gave great massages. Cooked her a wonderful dinner. And every time, he walked her home without making a move. Until that kiss.
She met his gaze, wondering if he could tell what she was thinking about.
“So this is what I miss when I head into town for a day?”
“You should take off more often.” Ivan grinned over his sandwich.
Brent gave her a look.
“I wasn’t sure what to do with myself. You weren’t here handing out chores.” She tried for the light tone that their teasing had carried before, but when her gaze met his, she could tell he wouldn’t see her as an annoying city girl ever again.
Dale and Ivan both seemed to miss his lack of response and jumped knee-deep into conversation about getting the fence finished before the rain came back.
“Thanks for lunch, Missy,” Dale said as the two men headed back to work.
“Seems they like you.”
“I try.” She picked up the tray and mugs.
“Listen, you don’t need me telling you what to do. If you want to join them, go ahead. Or go for a ride. Feed the horses.”
“Are you tired of bossing me around?” She gave him a grin, but he saw through it.
“You don’t need bossing around.” He tipped his hat and turned to leave.
Just like that? She watched him go, sinking inside. Why wasn’t she happy that he listened to her? First time she’d ever gotten a man to do what she wanted, and it didn’t want to make her dance around. Darn him!
She took the dishes back to the house before she headed down to the stables. If she’d learned anything, it was how to muck out a stall, so she took on the dirty job with a vengeance.
Did he think she wanted space? Yeah, she’d asked to be friends, and that meant she wanted to spend time around him.
She needed him.
A Cowboy For Christmas Page 6
