Code Name: Princess

by Christina Skye

  chapter 27

  * * *

  S teel nails clawed at her stomach.

  Jess took deep breaths as the pain tightened and grew sharper. She’d known what could happen, known exactly what symptoms to watch for.

  Contractions. Lower back pain. Spotting.

  Now she had all three. She’d heard the statistics, and she’d assured Summer she was prepared for whatever happened. In the end she’d managed to fool everyone but herself.

  She wasn’t prepared, wasn’t even close.

  She saw Hawk rub his eyes, saw him fight to take in the shock of her news, but before she could explain, pain gripped her and she bent double, hands pressed to her stomach. As she closed her eyes, she was struck by the wild thought that if she pressed hard enough and long enough, she could fight fate and hold the precious baby inside.

  The sudden wetness between her legs told her she was wrong.

  “Hawk,” she said hoarsely. “I’m bleeding.”

  His fingers touched the dark stain on her dress. With a curse, he pulled her up into his arms and began to run. “Hold on, honey. Just stay with me.”

  There were people everywhere, phones ringing, and equipment carts rattling by. Elevators came and went while more people swam past.

  Hawk registered it all dimly, like part of somebody else’s dream. All he could see was the closed doors to the emergency room, where Jess was lying on a white bed, hooked up to tubes, fighting for herself and her baby.

  Their baby.

  He closed his eyes, felt a moment’s fury. His baby. Damn it, she should have told him as soon as she knew. If he’d known, he’d have found a way to get back, even if briefly.

  If only he’d known. . . .

  He drew a hoarse breath, closed his eyes. There was no one to hate, no one to curse. He’d never had more than a few minutes on the phone with her, and looking back he remembered how many times her voice had caught, then trailed away. Every time she did, he’d changed the subject, afraid to act too serious. Afraid she’d misunderstand.

  He’d screwed up, not Jess.

  He felt a burning behind his eyes as people jostled him, chattering about baseball, pizza or stocks. She’d been in the room for almost an hour, and no one had come to tell him anything. He knew that when the news was bad they delayed it as long as possible.

  He wouldn’t let that matter. They would try again, he swore. They’d make a dozen healthy, laughing babies.

  But Hawk couldn’t get rid of the vision of Jess’s body, still and pale on a hospital gurney. What if the bleeding wouldn’t stop?

  “Hawk?”

  He closed his hands to fists, slammed them against the wall, unaware that he had moved, even when the pain splintered up his arms. Why hadn’t he come sooner?

  “Hawk.”

  When he opened his eyes, Jess’s sister was staring at him, her hair tangled as if she’d been running. “Jess—where is she?”

  “In that room down the hall. She’s been there for about an hour. The baby—something happened. There was blood.” He cleared his throat, ignored the burning at his chest. “I asked the nurse for an update ten minutes ago, but I haven’t heard anything yet. If I lose her, by God, I’ll—”

  “Hawk, listen.” Strong fingers closed around his fists. “I just spoke to Jess’s doctor.”

  She kept talking, but he didn’t hear. All he saw was her mouth moving slowly and the worry in her eyes.

  He frowned, trying to hear the words. “Can I see her?”

  “Not yet. They’re watching her for the next twenty-four hours. They’re concerned about the luteal problem.”

  Hawk shook his head. “Wait—a what problem?”

  “It’s a hormone imbalance. Jess knew she might lose the baby, in spite of the medication she was taking.”

  He realized there were other people scattered around the waiting area now. Summer’s husband, Gabe, a SEAL Hawk had met twice in training. Dutch was there too, flanked by five or six crusty types who had Navy written all over them.

  They were all watching him silently. Hawk figured they had every reason to hate him. “She was sick?” he said raggedly. “I should have come back sooner.”

  No one said anything. They didn’t meet his eyes.

  “She didn’t tell me,” he whispered. “Didn’t trust me.” He leaned against the wall, feeling the cold tile at his back. “Damn it, I want to see her.”

  Summer reached out awkwardly. “Don’t do this, Hawk. It isn’t your fault. There had been some sudden changes in her bloodwork a week ago. Her doctors didn’t tell her because they weren’t sure what it meant.”

  “She’s in danger then?”

  Summer closed her eyes and nodded. “I won’t lie. It happened so fast and she’s still losing blood. They can’t figure out why.” Summer’s voice broke. “They’re getting her ready for surgery. We can’t see her now.”

  Hawk turned away, walked down the hall and out the doors to a little courtyard, embarrassed by the tears that cut past his iron control. He put one arm against the wall as his knees threatened to give way.

  “Hawk.”

  He was still in the courtyard, a cup of coffee forgotten beside him. The stone bench was cold, but he barely noticed.

  “Hawk, please look at me.”

  Bad news.

  He couldn’t bear it. All his steel was gone. His world had shrunk to a single question and his sanity danced on the outcome. “Go away,” he muttered.

  If he didn’t hear, it wouldn’t be real. He could sit here in the twilight and feel the wind on his face and keep on pretending.

  Jess’s sister sat down beside him. She put her hand gently on his shoulder. “Hey.”

  “Don’t say it.” His hands shook as he groped for the coffee cup. “Go away.”

  “It’s done, Hawk. She’s stable.” Summer leaned against his shoulder, her careful control breaking as she gripped the front of his leather jacket. “Damn it, listen to me. Jess wants you.”

  “She . . . wants me?” He dropped the coffee and swung around, studying Summer’s face.

  She was crying. Smiling. “Inside, pronto, pal. Never argue with a Mulcahey.”

  She was stable.

  Hawl’s hands locked, and he shaped an awkward prayer of thanks in silent words that were far too rusty.

  When he stumbled to his feet, a nurse was walking toward him, her eyes gentle with understanding. “Lieutenant Mackenzie? My patient is asking—no, demanding to see you. You have three minutes, no more. We’ve given her something to sleep, so she may nod off.”

  Hawk lunged around her and sprinted down the hall.

  Her face was pale, her hair damp. She looked up, whispering his name when he pushed open the door.

  Hawk leaned down and locked their hands, worried at how cold her skin felt. “Hey there, beautiful.”

  She began to cry, slow, silent tears that shook her body while Hawk pulled her against his chest and ran his hands helplessly over her hair. “I wish I could change this, Jess.”

  Her fingers shook against his. “We never talked about what happened. When I—I messed up my pills back in Washington. I figured I was safe. . . .”

  “It’s not important now, Jess.”

  “It is important. The mistake was the best thing that ever happened to me, Hawk. Now I keep trying to find someone to blame for having a body that just isn’t right.”

  He cupped her neck gently, brushing a tear from her cool cheek. “There’s no one to blame. I’ve accepted that. We’ll have another baby, honey. Ten or fifteen maybe. We’ll start our own baseball team.”

  Jess smiled tentatively at him. “You want ten or fifteen?”

  “For starters.”

  She placed his hand gently on her stomach. Her smile grew. “Then why wait?”

  Hawk stared at her, then down at the blanket that covered her. “What do you mean?”

  “Everything is good.” She gave a shaky laugh. “Don’t ask me. The blood tests were bad, then they were goo
d. That’s all the surgeon told me. The bleeding started, then it stopped when they were prepping me for surgery. That’s all anyone seems to know.”

  Hawk didn’t move. “You mean we’ve got ourselves a baby?” He couldn’t hide the gentle wonder.

  “Looks that way.” She reached up and traced his cheek. “I hope she looks just like her father.”

  “She?” Hawk swallowed, beyond overwhelmed. “It’s—definite?”

  “The doctor told me I’ll need to eat right and continue my hormone therapy—but yes. It’s definite.”

  Hawk fumbled in his pocket. “You’re going to have to marry me now. I’ve had this ring for weeks, waiting for the right moment, but since there never seems to be a right moment, I want to put it on your finger now.” He cleared his throat and held out a small box, locked in his hand. “Marry me, Jess.”

  She drew in a breath as she opened the box. A single perfect diamond glinted against black velvet. “It’s beautiful.”

  “No, but you are.” The door opened behind him, but Hawk didn’t look away from Jess’s face. There was new color to her cheeks, and he clutched at his courage to finish what he’d been rehearsing for weeks. “I’ve made plans, pulled in some favors. After next month I won’t be traveling so much, and I have some leave coming.” He laid the ring on her palm and closed her hand around it. “I can’t promise I won’t make mistakes. I can’t say I’ll be any good at this relationship stuff. But I’m sure as hell going to try.”

  She made a soft little sound, and Hawk realized it was his name. She caught his hand and his ring, bringing them both to her lips. “Yes.”

  “You mean—”

  “Yes, with my whole heart. Why don’t you put this ring on my finger, Lieutenant?” She held up her hand, smiling through tears. “Then I’m going to kiss you.”

  “Sounds like a damned good battle plan to me, honey.”

  The door closed behind him.

  “What’s going on in there?” Dutch stood protectively outside Jess’s door, staring at Summer.

  “He just asked her to marry him.”

  “What’d she say?”

  “Yes. The kissing was about to start, so I left.”

  “About damned time they finally did something that made sense.” The big man pulled out a handkerchief and wiped his forehead. “I’m too old for this shit. Begging your pardon, Summer.”

  “Not a problem.” She managed a thin smile. “I think I am, too.”

  “What did she say when he asked her?”

  “I didn’t hear the details, but she was kissing his ring and his hand, so I figure that meant an unconditional yes.” Summer sighed. “I tried to keep her safe from so many things over the years. Ever since our parents died, I thought she was the soft one. But I was wrong, Dutch.” Summer shook her head. “It takes guts to be an optimist, guts to believe that people are generally good. More guts than I ever had, at least.”

  She looked up as Gabe slid an arm around her waist. “What would you say to getting a brother-in-law?”

  “Sounds good to me.”

  “About frigging time.” Dutch strode off with a wide grin, eager to bring his Navy pals up to speed. Right after that, they all adjourned to the courtyard for cigars and handshakes.

  There were going to be plenty of babies from those two, the way Dutch saw it, and the old crew of quiet, decorated heroes from Vietnam decided to get in some practice with their Havanas right now.

  Hawk stayed with Jess for the three days she was in the hospital, leaving only to shower and wolf down bad coffee and food that he didn’t taste. He bullied her to eat every morning and held her hand while she fell asleep each night.

  On the morning of the third day, Summer cornered him in the hall when he was buying more awful coffee from a machine that required exact change.

  “You look pitiful, Mackenzie.” Summer shook her head and straightened his collar. “On the other hand, three days of stubble kinda suits you. My sister is clearly going to have her hands full.”

  Hawk rubbed his neck uncertainly. “That’s okay with you?”

  “Yeah.” Summer blew out a breath. “I was too busy being a jerk to give you any sort of chance. I guess I always had a problem where Jess was concerned. Only a few minutes difference in our age, but she’s still my little sister. I’ve been so busy babying her for so long that I couldn’t see it was the last thing she needed.”

  “She’s tough,” Hawk agreed slowly. “If you could have seen her that day in the shed, you’d know how tough. She was covered with blood, and a gun was locked in her hand. No one would have gotten past her.”

  “I saw her afterward,” Summer reminded him. Even now the memories made her shiver. “I never thought she paid enough attention when I gave her those shooting lessons. I’m glad I was wrong.”

  “So am I.” Hawk stared down at the dirt-colored coffee.

  Summer touched his arm. “What’s wrong?”

  He swirled the muddy drink around in his cup, frowning. “I keep wondering if this was even partly my fault. Maybe something I did or the shock of my coming here so suddenly. It’s eating at me, Summer. Even the hint of a possibility.”

  “That’s crazy.” Summer took the coffee from his hands and tossed it in the nearby trash can. “There was nothing that any of us could have done to stop this. Jess knew what might happen, and she had a lucky break. End of story. We don’t get to play God, Hawk, no matter how much better it would feel.”

  “I should have come back sooner.” He rolled his shoulders. “I should have cornered Jess and worked all the details out of her.”

  For the first time in three days Summer broke into real laughter. “I can see you don’t know Jess as well as you think. She’s like a pit bull when she thinks something’s important.” She held out three quarters to him. “Live dangerously, Mackenzie, but buy yourself some tea. That coffee could kill you faster than one of those secret ops you and Izzy run.”

  He chose his tea and shrugged. “If I’m going to be a father, I’d better start doing a lot of things differently. I’m going to make her happy, Summer. I love her the way I love breathing, and it feels just that natural. Funny, I always thought that sappy stuff happened to other people.”

  Summer linked her arm through his. “Only the lucky ones like us. She’s crazy about you, by the way. Has been ever since she nearly ran you over with her Jeep.”

  “She told you about that?”

  “Every detail. She said you look pretty hot on that bike of yours, too, especially in black leather.”

  “Yeah?” Hawk tried to hide a grin. “It’s one sweet ride.”

  “She can’t wait to get inside the motor. She’s been nuts about engines ever since she was old enough to hold a Phillips screwdriver. You two have a lot in common.” She walked down the hall, then turned. “Just don’t make her cry, Navy, or I’ll have to seriously kick your butt.”

  By the end of the day, Hawk had been told the same thing, in various different ways, about twenty times. Dutch and each one of his Vietnam buddies made sure that Hawk knew he got points for being a SEAL, but that the jury was still out on his qualifications as a husband.

  But when Jess called them all into her room to display her engagement ring, they beamed in quiet approval. Dutch even slapped Hawk on the back.

  He hadn’t gained a bride-to-be, Hawk realized. He’d gained a whole Navy team, and a crusty old bunch of heroes they were.

  Hawk couldn’t think of any better company to be in.

  chapter 28

  * * *

  T wo feet stuck out on the ground, wedged under Jess’s Jeep.

  With yelps and wild barking Monster raced up and began to slobber on Hawk’s toe. “In a minute, boy. Let me finish checking this fuel line.”

  The dog barked again. This time teeth closed on Hawk’s foot.

  “Damn, Monster. I told you—”

  “Leave the fuel line, commando man. I have an errand to run.”

  Hawk slid out from beneath
the Jeep. Smiling, he grabbed Jess’s ankle, moving slightly until he could look up her bright-blue skirt. “Nice legs. Nice underwear, too.”

  “Nothing special.”

  “Anything’s special on you, honey.”

  “Very slick.” She smiled, her eyes slanting down at him. “How about you come up here and French kiss me, sailor.”

  “I’m sweating, Jess. I’m covered with grease and sweat and—”

  “Aaaah, no more. You’re making me go all hot and tingly. I looooove a guy covered in grease.”

  Hawk pulled a rag from his pocket and rubbed his hands, never taking his eyes from her face. “What kind of errand do you have in mind?”

  “A drive up the coast to drop off a package for Dutch.” She lifted a basket. “Picnic halfway. The weather’s supposed to be gorgeous today. Blue skies and only a hint of clouds.”

  Hawk finished cleaning his hands and stood up slowly. “I’m game.”

  Jess ran a hand over his jaw. “Nice stubble, Mackenzie. Very sexy. So are the pants.”

  His worn jeans were frayed and ragged, riding low at his hips, and he didn’t have a clue what she meant, but he liked the shimmer in her eyes just fine. “So this picnic thing—you cleared it with Doc Wilson?”

  “A-OK with him. He says I’m good to go on all accounts. French kisses and . . . anything else we want.”

  Hawk was perfectly aware that it had been four weeks since her near-miscarriage. But he still couldn’t seem to relax. “Your appointment wasn’t until tomorrow. Damn it, I wanted to go with you, Jess.”

  “The receptionist called an hour ago and said there was a cancellation, so I went in earlier.” She crossed her arms. “I needed to go alone, Hawk. Can you understand that?”

  “Because you’re tougher than I think you are. And because you think I need to back off, is that what you’re telling me?”

  Jess’s eyes narrowed. “That about covers it.” One hand settled on the slight curve of her stomach. “As it happens, Doc Wilson gave me his full medical seal of approval, blood tests, physical exam and all. No conditions of any sort.” Her voice turned husky. “If you see my drift.”