by Jenna Gunn
I shrug. Strangely, I’m more and more comfortable with Trisha asking questions about my leg. Maybe it’s that she isn’t coddling me.
Maybe it’s that she’s hot.
Trisha directs me around the back of the vet’s office, but I catch a glimpse of the parking lot; it’s empty. Nathan’s car is gone. Good. I don’t want her to worry about that.
“You have a secret parking lot, huh?” I ask as I spot her car next to the barn.
She laughs. “Employees only. Unless your animal is going in the barn.”
I park neatly next to her. “What about the kennel animals?”
“Emily went into the office anyway today.”
I nod. I don’t know who Emily is.
“She texted me all about it. Everyone’s doing okay, and she managed to get some people to come pick up their animals.” Trisha sighs and looks over at her darkened office. “I just want to be at home.”
“Do you need company?” I ask her, my voice low. “You might not need to be alone right now.”
She shakes her head. “I’d like to be by myself, honestly. I need to process things.”
Without thinking, I reach over and take her hand, squeezing it. She squeezes it back without looking at me.
Neither of us move. Her car is right there, but she doesn’t act like she’s going to get out. There’s an awkwardness that hangs in the air between us; what do we say? How do we part - as lovers? Friends? Do we kiss? Shake hands?
I want to kiss her good-bye, I realize, glancing down at her hand in mine. I want to lift her hand and brush my lips along her fingers. I want to pull her close and kiss her and stroke her hair. I want to tell her to be safe, to call me tomorrow when she gets up.
I kind of want to tell her I love her.
But instead, I do nothing. Absolutely nothing. I sit there like the useless idiot I am. I don’t open my mouth to ask if she wants to be my girlfriend, or to tell her that I’m worried for her, or to ask if I’ll see her again soon.
She turns to face me. “Perry?”
“Yeah?” My heart quickens.
She leans in and kisses me on the cheek. “Thank you,” she whispers in my ear.
And just like that, whatever moment we were having is gone. She opens her door and slides out, closing it behind her. She strides confidently to her car and gets in. The engine comes to life. When her headlights flash on, I can no longer see her face.
I back out and head back home; behind me, she does the same. She turns toward her house. I turn toward mine.
I watch her taillights in the rear view mirror and curse myself for not speaking up.
23
I don’t even hesitate this time when I roll out of bed to the sound of barking outside; I just let Apple in and go about my morning routine.
I grab a hot dog out of the fridge and feed it to her before going to make myself a cup of coffee. I feel alright today. I can probably work. I’d rather work than sit at home moping, anyway.
I text Emily and Hannah to let them know I’d be coming in today; of course Emily is worried for my safety. She sends me a barrage of texts ranging from “I’ll be so happy to see you!” to “Don’t come in if you don’t feel comfortable! Don’t forget you can leave early if you need to!”
Hannah replies with “k”.
“What do you think, Apple?” I ask her.
She lifts her head and wags her tail. She’s grown a bit; she looks less puppy-ish around the eyes. I reach down and scratch her ears. “You’re a good girl.”
Her tail wags faster.
I set my empty coffee cup in the sink and head upstairs to take a shower. Apple follows and lays down outside the bathroom door. I step into the hot water and think about Perry.
I don’t know what we are anymore. Obviously what happened last night was more than just sex; I’ve never felt so cared for, so...loved. Is that what happened? Does Perry love me?
Do I love him?
I shake my head and push shampoo through the roots of my hair. I haven’t known Perry long enough to love him...but I have been vulnerable in front of him more times than I have in front of people I’ve known for years. And I’ve seen his vulnerabilities, too. I can’t remember the last time someone cried in front of me - Raina, maybe, when her parents died? But that was a few years ago.
I don’t know how to sort through my feelings about Perry. Do I want to see him again? Yes. Yes, I think I do. Do I want to have sex with him again? ...yes.
“So I like him,” I say out loud. “Right?”
I rinse the shampoo out of my hair and reach for some conditioner. Obviously. I don’t have sex with people I don’t like. But do I like him enough to...love him? We haven’t even dated. Do I want to date him?
Maybe I do.
I rinse myself off and turn off the water. Apple sits up as I get out of the shower to grab my towel.
“Do you like Perry?” I ask her.
She cocks her head at me. Behind her, her tail thumps rhythmically on the floor.
“Does he call himself your dad?”
Her tongue lolls out of her mouth as she pants. I just smile at her and dry myself off.
Apple follows me obediently out of my car and into the barn. Domino isn’t here anymore, and neither is Jane, the cow. The barn is practically empty. Apple pauses to sniff everything anyway.
Emily has already opened the office. I pass through the kennel; Apple visits all the cages. By the looks of it, she’s already done all the kennel work, too.
I pat my leg, and Apple follows me into the hallway and toward reception. I hear Emily’s voice drifting out from behind one of the closed exam doors. The lobby’s empty; Hannah sits behind her desk with her face buried in her phone.
“Hey,” I say as I enter.
“’Sup,” she replies without looking up. Apple trots up to her; without looking, Hannah reaches out and scratches Apple’s ears.
“I was hoping you could cancel my appointments for today. I want to kind of focus on paperwork.”
“Already did.”
“What?”
Hannah puts down her phone and looks up at me. It’s been a while since she’s deigned to make direct eye contact; I’d forgotten how dark her eyes were. “I saw the security footage.”
“Oh.” I don’t think that explains anything, but I don’t feel that pointing it out would be in any way beneficial.
“You shouldn’t even be here,” Hannah continues. “You went through something hard. You should be at home or with a friend. I cancelled all your appointments so you could leave early today once you’ve come to your senses.”
I press my lips together as Hannah turns away from me again to grab her phone. “Thanks,” I say softly, trying to fight down the lump in my throat. I can’t believe she cares that much.
She waves her hand in response, and I turn and head toward my office, blinking back tears. Apple follows.
Hannah takes care of most paperwork, including ordering things for the office, so there really isn’t much to do anyway. I boot up my old computer and let it whir to life. Apple tiptoes her way around the cramped room before shoving herself beneath my desk and lying down at my feet. I grab the phone and dial the number I want; my heart starts to drum heavily in my chest.
It rings once. Twice. Three times. I grip the receiver. I’m just about to hang up when he answers.
“Hello?” Perry’s voice asks groggily.
“Hey there.” My free hand is shaking. Why am I so nervous?
“Trisha.” His voice changes, becomes...what? Smoother? Happier? More irritated?
“So, Apple came to pay me a visit again,” I say as nonchalantly as I can.
Perry sighs heavily. “Of course she did.”
“I’ve got her with me at the office,” I tell him, sliding off my shoe to rub Apple’s belly with my foot.
“You’re at the office?” he snaps.
“I cancelled my appointments. I’m just doing office work today.”
He makes
a grumbling sound in his throat. I can tell he’s not pleased, the same as Hannah. “I’ll be by to pick her up as soon as I’ve had a shower.”
“Okay. I’ll be here.”
I run my pencil along the paper showing the office’s budget. For about fifteen minutes, it felt strange to sit alone in my office without interacting with patients; now, however, I’m actually finding it pleasant. It’s like I’m barely working at all.
That’s why when there’s a knock at the door, I jump in my seat, startling Apple, who barks and shoots noisily out from under my desk.
“Who is it?” I ask, reaching out to calm Apple.
“Um, someone’s here to see you?” Emily’s voice says uncertainly. “Perry Logan?”
My heart skips a beat. What am I, a lovesick schoolgirl? “Yeah, I’m coming.” I scratch Apple’s head and stand up, blinking away images of numbers and decimal points, and head for my office door.
Perry is standing in the lobby with Apple’s leash in hand. She whines when she sees him; as soon as I open the door to the lobby, she bolts out and runs up to him, standing on her hind legs to rest her front paws on his chest.
“Hey, girl,” he says, scratching her; he clips her collar around her neck and attaches the leash to it. When he sees me, he seems to blush.
“Hey,” I say, a little embarrassed. My stomach flutters with nervousness. I’ve never felt this way after a sexual encounter, not with anyone.
Perry digs in his pocket and pulls out a folded piece of paper; he sheepishly holds it out to me.
“What’s this?” I ask, but he doesn’t reply. I take the paper and start to unfold it - and he bolts.
Perry just turns and practically runs out the glass doors, Apple happily running alongside him. She practically leaps into the car when he opens the door for her, and he gets in faster than I’ve seen him do anything.
Amused, I look down at the paper and unfold it.
“Weird guy,” Hannah says from reception.
“Yeah,” I say with a smile, looking down at the paper. It just says, Do you want to go on a date?
I don’t tell anyone what was on the paper. I just head to my office and close the door smartly behind me. I sit down and stick the edge of the paper into a framed photo of me, Emily, and Hannah that sits just behind my computer.
I wait for just a moment. Should I give him time to get home? Probably; I don’t want him to swerve off the road answering his cell phone.
Screw it. I can’t wait.
I snatch up the phone and dial Perry’s number, waiting excitedly for it to ring. This time, it only has to ring twice before he answers.
“Hello?”
“Yes,” I say before he’s even got the word out.
“Really?” he asks eagerly.
“Really.”
“I know just the place!” he gushes. “We can go whenever you want. I’m even free tonight - uh, unless you don’t want to tonight, if that’s too soon, I can - ”
“Tonight would be great,” I tell him, grinning. “I’ll leave work early.” He’s so cute. “But we’re going Dutch, okay?”
“Absolutely,” he replies. “Understood.”
“All right. You wanna pick me up or should - ”
“Yes,” he says firmly. “I want to pick you up.”
I laugh. “Okay.”
“Four sound good?”
“Four sounds great. I’ll see you then.” I hang up before he can say anything else. And then I melt into a puddle of happiness in my office chair.
Who would’ve thought?
24
I stare at myself in the mirror as I stick my mascara wand unceremoniously back into its container.
I’m going on a date.
What a strange week this is turning out to be. Three days ago I had a somewhat- date with a crazy man. Now he’s in jail, and I’m going out with a man who, frankly, made me angry on the regular.
A man who saved my life.
I’m more worried about my appearance and outfit today than I was when Nathan took me out. I wrinkle my nose. I don’t like thinking about Nathan.
I lean into the mirror to make sure my eyelashes are at least visible and my eyeliner is somewhat even. “Sisters, not twins,” I remind myself under my breath. Do I need blush? I can’t remember. I have some sitting on the sink, brand-new and in the package even though I bought it months ago.
I hear knocking on my front door drifting up the stairs. Panicking slightly, I look down at my clothes. I didn’t want to wear the dress I wore on Nathan’s date, so I dug around in my closet and dresser until I found something else. I’m wearing my finds now - a black skirt that stops just above my knee and a blue long-sleeved blouse. I don’t even know where I bought these.
I do have to wear the same shoes, though. I really need to buy more heels.
“I’m coming!” I snap, descending the stairs while Perry knocks again.
“Hurry up, then!” Perry shouts, his voice muffled through the door.
I laugh as I open the door to admit him. He’s holding a little bouquet of wildflowers tied together with string and looking a bit uncomfortable but all together handsome in his khakis and button-up. It looks like he tried to style his hair, but all he’s managed to do is get it to sit a bit like a wavy cloud around his head.
It doesn’t look bad, actually.
“Got you these,” he says, holding out the flowers.
I take them. “Thanks,” I say, holding them up. It’s a bunch of little purple and white flowers, things I’ve seen growing along the side of the road. “Come in while I put these in some water.”
Perry steps into my house and shuts the door behind him. “Sorry if there’s, uh...dirt or bugs on them,” he says, shuffling behind me as I head to the kitchen. “I picked ’em out of the backyard.”
I turn my back on him so he doesn’t see me grin while I look for the jelly jar I cleaned out the other day. I fill it halfway with tap water and stick the flowers in. “Well, I like them,” I say, turning back toward him.
Perry smiles and shoves his hands awkwardly in his pockets. “Okay. Good. Oh - you look - really good, by the way.”
“Thanks,” I say again, grinning. “So do you.”
“Thanks.” He scrunches up his shoulders and looks around the kitchen. “Nice place you’ve got.”
“You’ve been here before.”
“Well, I forgot to tell you it was nice,” he snaps.
I laugh. “Do you want to take me out or not?”
“Yeah. Uh, let’s go.” He turns and walks out of my kitchen; I snatch my purse and a jacket off the table in the hallway and follow him out my front door.
His car is still running in the driveway. I lock the door behind us and follow him down my porch steps.
“So where we goin’?” I ask, opening the passenger’s side door.
Perry slides into the driver’s seat. “Charleston.”
“What a drive.”
“Well, there’s no place around here to eat,” he replies defensively; I laugh, and he smiles.
I kick off my shoes and put my bare feet on the dashboard. “So we’re going to eat, then?”
“I thought we’d see a movie, too.”
“No theater around here, either,” I sigh.
“You’re leaving toe prints on my windshield.”
I look over at him and press the balls of my feet onto the glass. “Am I?”
He shakes his head, but I see the smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.
Perry and I can’t seem to disagree about most things. We debate about the temperature in the car, whether the windows should be up or down, the music on the radio. But it’s so fun. I’m never actually angry with him, and we always laugh at least halfway through the discussion.
“Dinner or movie first?” he asks as we take the Charleston exit.
I pull my feet down and shove them back into my shoes. “You hungry?”
“I asked you,” he replies.
I laugh.
“Movie first. That way we’ll have something to talk about over dinner.”
He gives me a sideways glance and quirks his eyebrow. “So you don’t think we’ll have anything to talk about over dinner?”
“You keep being difficult about it, and I’ll have nothing to say for the rest of the night,” I tease.
He grins as we enter Charleston and navigates us toward one of those big chain cinemas. The parking lot is pretty full; he circles it a couple times before pulling into a spot.
“Any idea what movie you wanna watch?” he asks as he shuts off the engine.
“You didn’t pick one already? You don’t have times in mind?”
“I thought I’d let you in on making the decision,” he replies, sliding out of the car. I follow before he can come around to open my door for me. “Plus, a place like this, there’s always something just about to start.”
I look up at the list of movies as we walk toward the building, tucking my hand beneath Perry’s elbow. He looks away shyly as I sidle closer to press our shoulders together. “I don’t even know what any of these are.” I glance at the posters. “Or any of these actors.”
“Uh, that one looks like a romantic comedy. Wanna see that?” He points at a cutesy poster as we pass by it.
“What makes you think I want to watch a romcom?” I ask, still holding onto his arm. “That over there is more my thing.” I gesture toward an action movie poster.
“Well, I have a couple reasons I’d rather not watch something action-y,” Perry grumbles. “Y’know...with gunshots and whatnot.”
“Oh. Right.”
We debate the various offerings the whole way through the line, ruling out movies that won’t be starting for another hour, vetoing choices that would have made sense due to the start times. Finally, I let him have his way; we settle on the romcom he originally pointed out. He smiles a little as he tells the teenager at the ticket booth what we want.
“I’ve seen commercials for this,” he says eagerly, looking down at his ticket. “It looks funny.”
I pretend to scratch at my face, hiding my huge smile behind my hand. Seeing this big sexy man get excited and giddy over a cheesy romantic comedy is the most adorable thing I’ve seen.
