by Aimée Thurlo
Trying to make herself understand, she looked at the facts dispassionately. The truth was that she had been having software problems that had turned her bookkeeping into one major disaster. The stress had been monumental.
On top of it all, these were people who knew all about her background, and although her days at the hospital seemed like a lifetime ago to her, they’d never quite forgotten it. They’d been willing to give her a chance to earn her living managing some accounts, a task she’d been proficient at, but their trust had been fragile and was now completely shattered.
A past was a difficult thing to outrun. Maybe that was why Daniel, a man who only knew the woman she was now, was willing to give her a chance. When Daniel looked at her, there was no pity in his eyes. He didn’t see the frightened, mixed-up girl she’d been. He only saw a woman fighting for her life—a woman who needed him desperately to even out the odds against her.
She took a deep breath, and the scent of him filled her nostrils. That mixture of pine and the outdoors was earthy and masculine and called to her on a primitive level.
Everything about Daniel spoke to her in ways she’d never even imagined possible. His strength, his code of honor, that intense masculinity, all beckoned to her, drawing her no matter how hard she tried to fight it. She pushed the thought away. This was no time for distractions.
Twin headlight beams illuminated the street as a car drove by, and she saw inside the van parked half a block ahead of her. She sucked in her breath, her blood turning to ice. Two men were in the vehicle, and the one with long hair and beefy arms was holding what appeared to be binoculars.
The pair was staking out Reverend Brown’s home and she seriously doubted that they were cops. Pushing back her fear, she considered her options. She could see this as trouble, or as an opportunity. Hoping for the latter, she opened the SUV’s door.
“Wolf, we’re going for a walk.” With the dog close beside her, Hannah stepped onto the sidewalk, remaining in the shadows and moving quietly past a line of trees. As long as she didn’t go near a porch or street light, she’d be well hidden. The communications device that kept her in touch with Daniel looked like ordinary earphones, so even in the unlikely event someone saw her, it would appear that a woman listening to her tape player or radio was taking a stroll with her pooch. Confident that she would be safe, she made her way toward the van, approaching from behind.
As she drew near, Wolf’s attitude changed drastically. His gait slowed, his face became alert, his body tense and ready for trouble. He held his head high, sniffing the air, ears pricked forward.
“Wolf, we’re just going in for a closer look. Take it easy, boy,” she whispered.
She was about five car lengths away when one of the two men stepped out of the van. As he flicked open a lighter and lit a cigarette, she saw his face. It was no one she recognized.
Realizing she was very visible in the glow of house lights here, Hannah edged back into the deeper shadows, ready to return to the SUV. But the man caught sight of her movement out of the corner of his eye and turned his head. From the way he sprang forward, she knew he’d recognized either her or the dog.
She ran, Wolf easily keeping pace beside her, but as she glanced back, peering through the half-light reaching the street, she saw the clear outline of a gun in his hand. Hannah tried to keep running, but her legs were suddenly rubbery and weak. She tried to focus on the SUV ahead, but a red veil descended over her eyes. Images from her past came flooding back into her mind. For a terror-filled moment the past and the present merged into a heart-stopping reality.
Unaware of the path before her, Hannah caught her toe on a raised joint of a section of sidewalk and stumbled. She fell down hard, barely able to put out her hands to keep from hitting the rough surface face first.
Scrambling to her knees, she turned to look at her pursuer. He was advancing rapidly toward her, but Wolf stood between her and the man, hackles raised, a low, menacing growl coming from his throat. The man stopped a short distance away from her, suddenly hesitant to come any closer.
Hannah saw him slowly moving his gun hand around toward the dog. At that moment, she caught a glimpse of a flash of light somewhere to her left and heard the sound of a door closing. Every instinct she possessed assured her it was Daniel leaving the pastor’s house.
Breaking through her fear, Hannah got up and spoke as loudly as she could. “If you shoot, people will come out. This is New Mexico and a lot of people own guns besides you. Walk away now.”
Hearing the sound of running footsteps, she looked to her side, her enemy doing the same. Daniel was heading toward them on an intercept course.
Before Hannah could think of what to say or do next, the armed man whirled, racing back toward the van. He reached the slow-moving vehicle in seconds and jumped in. His partner gunned the engine, and the van sped away, tires squealing.
Daniel reached the SUV at the same time Hannah and Wolf did. “We’re going after them. Buckle up,” he said.
Daniel floored the accelerator. The van had the advantage of distance, but the SUV’s engine was equipped for speed, and he was a skilled driver.
“You’re going sixty on a city street,” Hannah managed to say in a thin voice.
“The street’s clear. We’re going to catch them,” Daniel responded sharply, the excitement of the challenge coiling in his gut.
In a few minutes they left the residential area and reached the main highway. Daniel’s speedometer climbed up to ninety and the white dashes in the center of the road seemed to merge into a solid line. The red taillights of the van quickly grew in size, and it was clear the vehicle was no match for theirs. Daniel had narrowed the gap between them when one of the men leaned out the passenger’s side window with a shotgun and fired two rounds in rapid succession, the muzzle flash like flashbulbs going off.
Daniel swerved as much as he dared at high speed, and the tires screamed in protest. He took his foot off the gas pedal, and the gap between the two vehicles widened another three car lengths.
Hannah moaned, and her fear sliced through him like a knife to his heart. “It’s okay, they missed us by a mile. Just duck down below the windshield,” he said, reaching for her hand. Violent tremors shook her body, and she curled up in a fetal position on the seat.
“Hannah, it’s all right,” he murmured cursing himself for not having anticipated something like this. She wasn’t a policewoman accustomed to high-speed pursuits. She was an emotionally fragile woman fighting for her life, and quickly reaching the limits of her courage.
Though he hated to give up the chase when he knew he had a good chance of catching the men and getting some answers, Hannah was more important, and her safety was his priority. He slowed down, trying just to keep the vehicle in sight, but it wasn’t long before they lost the van completely.
Daniel called Silentman, making a report he knew would be relayed to the authorities after a few facts were omitted, then pulled over.
As he glanced at Hannah, his gut tightened. Her eyes were tightly closed, and she was trembling.
“Honey, it’s all right. I’m sorry. I just wanted to catch them so badly I never stopped to think of anything else.”
He reached over and pulled Hannah against his chest, holding her. She didn’t cry, but was shaking as if she’d just been pulled from an icy lake. He brushed a kiss on her forehead, and tried to reassure her.
More than anything, he wanted to tilt her head back and kiss her like she’d never been kissed before, erasing her fear with the passion he felt. Yet a code he couldn’t break held him back just at the edge of his control. He wouldn’t take advantage of her when she was at her most vulnerable.
An eternity later, Hannah pushed away from him and sat up straight in her seat. “I’m sorry. That shouldn’t have happened. I became a liability to you. I won’t do that again, not if I can help it.”
Her voice wasn’t steady yet, but he had to give her credit for trying. As he watched her regain her compo
sure, he tried to ignore the fire coursing through his veins. He had to focus completely on business now.
“I told you to stay in the SUV, Hannah. Why in the world did you get out and go after those guys?”
“I just wanted to get a closer look at them,” she explained quietly. “Do you really expect me to just sit back and do nothing while you put your life on the line for me?”
“It’s my job,” he said gruffly.
“Why are you angry? Do you think I was trying to do your job for you, or are you upset because I was willing to take the same kind of risk you’ve been taking all along?” she challenged.
“I’m angry because you scared the hell out of me.” Wrapping his hand around the back of her neck, he wrenched her toward him and sealed her mouth in a desperate, soul-searing kiss.
Hannah felt the shudder that traveled through him as he held her. His kiss was rough, hot and so demanding it sparked fires all through her. Surrendering to the passion he’d kindled in her, she held on to him tightly, parting her lips and drawing him into her.
He ravaged her, his tongue dancing and mating with hers, coaxing even as he mastered all her senses.
She’d never been kissed like that before and was unprepared for the blinding heat and the desire that grew stronger with every beat of her heart.
A lifetime later, he eased his hold and moved away, leaving her body hot and tingling as if she’d lingered dangerously close to an open flame. Then again, maybe she had.
He swore darkly, then focused his attention back on the wheel. Switching on the ignition, he pulled back onto the road.
“Where are we headed now?” She ran the tip of her tongue over her lips, tasting him there.
Seeing it, he suppressed a groan. “To hell and beyond,” he muttered, his voice barely audible over the roar of the engine.
Chapter Nine
By the time they arrived at the safe house, Daniel felt that familiar deep-bone weariness that always followed an adrenaline high. He would need some rest soon, but right now other matters demanded his attention.
As he built a fire to warm up the interior of the house, he noted that Hannah was unusually quiet. He suspected that the terror that had gripped her had finally given way to exhaustion.
“I know you’re tired and you probably want to rest, but we have to talk,” he said.
She stared at the crackling piñon burning in the fireplace, and nodded, taking off the wig and shaking her hair loose again.
He felt like a bully for pushing her now, but he had no choice. He had some tough questions to ask her and her exhaustion would give him an advantage he couldn’t pass up.
“Tell me exactly what happened after you spotted the guy back at Reverend Brown’s,” he said. “When I came out of the pastor’s house, you were on the ground, and that guy was practically in front of you.”
“I went for a closer look, realized I didn’t know him and started back, but he saw me and came after me. I ran, then, when I turned my head to check where he was, I saw the gun in his hands. Crazy images suddenly flashed in my mind and I ended up falling down. Before I could get back up, he was there. Thankfully, so was Wolf.” She looked down at the dog, lost in thought.
“What did the guy look like?”
“Long brown hair, muscular, Anglo-looking definitely. But I didn’t see him clearly enough to be able to positively identify him,” she said. “I wish I had, but things happened too fast.”
His gaze strayed over Hannah, taking in everything about her from the silky black curtain of her hair, to the way her full breasts rose and fell.
Seeing her begin to tremble again, it was all he could do not to take her into his arms. But physical contact between them now was out of the question.
He forced himself to look away, and focus back on his job. Unless he found a way to control his feelings for her, they would both end up dead.
“Talk to me, Hannah,” he said softly. “I want to know about the images you saw. I need to find out exactly what went through your mind.”
“Why?” she demanded, a lifetime of pent-up emotions and hurt feelings behind her words. “Do you want to try and psychoanalyze me so you can figure out if I’m sane or not?”
“No,” he said, recognizing the outburst for what it was. “But I need to know you as well as I know myself. We’re in this together now and that means your strengths, and your weaknesses, are also my own. Whatever happened back there made you vulnerable and I’ve got to know exactly what that was.”
“All right.” She took a deep, steadying breath, then continued. “It was seeing the gun in that man’s hands that threw me. Guns, to me, mean only death. Since the day my father shot himself I haven’t been able to look at a weapon without panicking. Can you understand?”
“I’m starting to,” Daniel answered gently, wanting her to continue. When he’d asked her to confide in him, he’d made it sound like it was all part of his job. But it was far more than that. He wanted to know Hannah. Maybe then he’d understand the woman who drew him so much she was never out of his thoughts.
“I only caught a glimpse of that gun but, at that moment, I felt as if I’d suddenly been propelled backwards in time to the day my father killed himself. Everything in front of me became covered in a blood-red haze. Yet a part of my mind remained clear. I knew the guy chasing me was real and that I was in mortal danger. I kept running, but I wasn’t watching where I was going and I fell. Thankfully, Wolf bought me enough time to get myself together.”
“Do you now remember more about the day your father died?”
“No, not really. What came back to me most strongly were the feelings I’d had back then—that somehow I’d failed him.” Hannah stood and began to pace in front of the fireplace. “That’s the real reason I spent so much time in a psychiatric hospital. Dealing with that loss and all the guilt I felt because I hadn’t found a way to stop him nearly destroyed me.”
Daniel started to go to her, but she shook her head, and returned to the couch.
“But why on earth did you blame yourself? How could you have prevented what happened?”
“It wasn’t a logical response. It was an emotional one. I was thirteen at the time. I’d known my father was having an even tougher time than I was coping with my mother’s death. After his suicide, I blamed myself for not having seen or sensed trouble long before anything happened.”
“Your father made his own decision, Hannah. You can’t take responsibility for another’s actions. That’s one very hard lesson I’ve had to learn over the years.” There was no condemnation in his words.
“From a logical standpoint, I know that, but what’s in the heart and what’s in the head are two very different things,” she said with a sad smile. “No doctor will ever erase that shadow from my heart. I let my father down—not willingly, of course, but the fact remains I wasn’t really there for him when he needed me most.”
Hannah’s pain touched him deeply. Feeling responsible for the death of someone you cared for could destroy you inside, locking you up in a prison of guilt forever. He knew that from personal experience.
“Maybe it’s a blessing that you don’t remember every detail of that night,” he said quietly.
“Yes, I agree,” she admitted. “To be honest, my uncle gave me more details and background than I wanted to hear. It seems that after my mom died, the hardware store was barely doing enough business to run our household and make small payments on the enormous medical bills my mother’s illness had run up. Then one night my uncle came over and discovered my dad holding a gun to his head. It was over in seconds.”
“And you saw it happen?”
“Apparently. I came in when I heard them arguing, and saw the gun go off. I do remember the sound, but nothing after that. It’s like a dark curtain goes down after that, blocking the rest. And you know what? I’m glad. It’s the only mercy fate has ever shown me.”
“And now there’s something else you’re blocking out….”
&n
bsp; “That’s what scares me so much, Daniel,” she whispered. “Whatever I’m blocking must be pretty awful, otherwise I wouldn’t be doing this to myself. The only reason I’ve ever blocked a memory is to help myself survive.”
“Is it possible that instead of images from the day your dad died, what you were actually remembering back at Reverend Brown’s was something that happened at the church?”
“But no one died at the church and everything in front of my eyes was shrouded in blood. It was horrible. It had to be a flashback from my distant past.”
“Your uncle was hurt at the church. He was struck from behind. There was probably blood associated with that injury.”
“What I saw was more than that.” She shook her head. “But that’s based on a feeling, nothing else. The truth is that I can’t tell you anything for sure.”
Seeing the raw pain in her eyes brought his own memories to the surface. He knew what it was like to live with a heart weighed down by darkness and shadows.
“I know you better than you realize,” he said, surprising himself by revealing even that much.
“You can’t know what my life’s been like, Daniel. No one can. The hurt never goes away. The best you can do is put it in a place inside you where you can deal with it on your own terms.” She brought her legs up and hugged her knees to her chest to keep from trembling.
“And, after a while, the pain begins to feel like a cruel companion that won’t leave you alone,” he said, letting her know that he did understand because he’d been there himself.
She looked at him then, compassion mirrored in her eyes. “You’ve known loss, too,” she observed quietly.
“Yes.” Daniel sat beside Hannah and pulled her to him, needing her warmth and softness. To his own amazement, he found himself wanting to tell her about something he’d kept locked inside him for years. He’d never spoken about it to anyone, except once to another cop during a debriefing.
