by Debra Elise
This was a side she hadn’t seen yet—an uncertain TS.
“I gave the job to someone else, not because I believed he could do a better job, but because I was selfish. I wanted you in my bed, and I couldn’t have you and be your employer at the same time.”
He walked over and took her hand, “And now that it’s happened, I thought the time we had together would be enough, but… I realized it’s not. Enough. I’m not even sure what enough is, but I was hoping we could figure that out together.”
Damn right, it hadn’t been enough. Noel knew she’d never feel the same about any other man’s touch after having TS worship every inch of her body. But what he was suggesting was…crazy. She couldn’t come up with a better word or a good response.
“What we had at the cabin was great, I mean beyond great, but you… me, our past. I thought we agreed we’re not the type of people who are looking for long-term, a relationship. I’m not sure—”
“Just don’t say no, not right away. Think about it. I’m leaving on a business trip tomorrow then I’ll be back at the end of the week.” He caressed her cheek and ran his thumb along her bottom lip.
“Hey, it’s New Year’s Eve, and I know it’s nowhere near midnight, but I was hoping maybe we could… for good luck… may I kiss you, Noel?”
His husky whisper went straight to her happy place, and she nodded. It was New Year’s Eve. Everyone should have someone to kiss, right?
He placed a light kiss on her lips and rubbed once then a second time. He pulled back much too quickly. The kiss was everything; it tore her apart and put her back together, and it was not enough. She wanted more, more than he was looking for—she was in big trouble.
Noel followed him to the front door. Her thoughts in a jumble. Whatever this was between them was getting complicated. She didn’t want complicated. It was the exact opposite and not what she signed up for. Deep down, she knew this was a bad idea, but she still wanted him.
“I’ll be in touch when I get back from LA. And maybe we could have dinner… or just talk. I’m open to whatever.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
JANUARY
“If I never have to look at another curtain tassel, it’ll be too soon.” Noel plopped down on Kelsey’s over-stuffed love seat, kicked off her heels, and leaned down towards the baby cooing on the pink sparkled unicorn blanket at her feet. “Hand her over, I need some baby therapy.”
“What’s this blasphemy? Aren’t you worried I could turn you into the National organization of Interior Designers or whatever?” Kelsey picked up her daughter and handed her into Noel’s outstretched arms.
Mari settled into her arms and gave her a wide-eyed look. At eight months, her goddaughter never failed to soothe whatever stress she heaped on herself. She sat the baby on her knee, face to face, and marveled at the miracle Kelsey and Maverick had created.
The little imp held her gaze and tilted her head. The look she gave Noel was as if she could see straight to her soul. “What do you see, Mari? Give me your wisdom.” Noel whispered the question, not expecting her to answer but wouldn’t be shocked if she did.
Kelsey snorted. “Don’t let her fool you. She may look all Zen now, but come three-thirty-two in the morning she morphs into a demanding baby lion with a roar to match.”
“Is that true, Mari? I won’t believe you’re anything but a perfect angel.” Noel cuddled the baby against her shoulder and took in a deep breath. Ah, her favorite scent, baby powder, and lavender lotion were a heady mix.
If she pictured herself at all as a Mom, it was with a baby that looked a little too much like TS. She quickly banished the dangerous image and contemplated how to bring up the discussion she had with TS the other night.
“Since your here, do you mind if I go take care of a few things? I just fed her, and I promised to keep her awake until Mav gets home. I checked, and the plane landed about twenty minutes ago, so barring a chatty reporter or two he should be home by nine.” Kelsey didn’t stick around for a yes as she left the living room.
That meant so would TS. Would he call her? Did she want him to? She did not have time to moon over a guy, and this was why she chose to not get involved with anyone. She’d been cursing him all week since he’d put a glimmer of hope in her mind that maybe they could work things out. Be a couple that had great sex, maybe become each other’s plus-one, then go back to their corners and do their own thing. It could work. Or it could be nothing but heartbreak.
“So, kiddo. What should we do?”
Mari let out a hiccup and a toot at the same time. The actions startled her, and the typically calm baby let out a wail. Big fat tears fell down her cheeks, and Noel’s heart tightened.
“Oh, no, sweetie. It’s okay.” She spoke in a sing-song tone and placed the baby on her shoulder and rubbed her back. “Auntie Noel will make it all better.” Mari didn’t seem to agree with her and kept up the sniffling and hiccupping.
Alright, she needed the big guns to handle this. Noel leaned further back into the cushions and turned Mari, so she was cuddled into the crook of her arm. “I have the perfect song. My mama sang it to me when I was little.” Before she began to sing, she closed her eyes. Her mother’s smiling face appeared.
Loretta Snow’s skin had been sun-damaged and lined from too many cigarettes, but she always had a ready smile and a kind word; for everyone. Her voice raspy from smoking, she would sing to them every day. Her younger brothers pretended they didn’t like it but would complain if she stopped.
She sang whatever was popular at the time, but at bedtime, there was only one song she would sing, and today Noel would sing it for the first time since her mother’s passing.
Noel dried Mari’s tears and gave her a quick kiss on the nose. It distracted the baby into silence.
“I’ll be there for you…” She sang a bit off-key, and as her mother did, she left out the first verse but poured all her heart into the chorus. Friends had debuted when Noel was four or five, so she hadn’t watched the show when it was first on, but her mother had. And her mother had fallen in love with the theme song and made it a lullaby for her kids.
When she finished the last round of the chorus, she knew she was in trouble. Mari’s eyes had closed, and she was making the cutest little sucking noises as if she were still nursing. The sound of the front door opening and closing echoed throughout the room.
“Uh, oh. Daddy’s home.” Noel tickled Mari under her double chin and called her name. “Time to wake up the princess. You don’t want Auntie Noel to get in trouble, do you.” No luck.
Darn it. Kelsey was not going to be happy.
“Hey, Noel. Nice to see you escaped from your dungeon.” Maverick always made an entrance, even in his own home. He dumped his duffel bag, bats clanged loud enough to wake the dead or a sleeping baby. Neither happened.
“Now, hand her over nice and slow, and I won’t tell Kelsey you let her fall asleep.”
He took possession of his daughter like a pro and made the transfer without waking her. Mari snuggled into her daddy and let out a sigh. Noel swore her ovaries cried out at the sound, and then Mav had to top off the moment with the broadest smile she’d seen on his face since Mari was born.
“God, she’s beautiful. You know Noel, I have no idea what I did to deserve her and Kelsey, but I’m damn glad to have them both.” He kissed the baby on the top of her silky head and kept grinning.
At that moment, she was envious of her friend’s life. She had it all. A career she loved and could work from home when needed, a precious daughter and a loving and yes, sexy, and handsome husband. It was a life anyone would be thrilled to have and one not many ever experienced.
Noel’s eyes welled, and she turned away from Mav and Mari and found Kelsey standing in the doorway, giving her an odd look. It wasn’t pity, more like she knew what she had and wanted the same for Noel. And she loved her for it, but she knew her past would always keep her at arm’s length from any man who came too close to offering what Mav gave to Ke
lsey.
She didn’t understand why she was suddenly so melancholy, it wasn’t like her, or it hadn’t been in a long time. She’d worked hard on her attitude over the years and had come close to perfecting a positive outlook over the sad and disillusioned teenager she’d been. She should be happy, dammit. She loved her career, great friends, and she was looking forward to growing her company.
So why did seeing her friends happy and content make her feel anything else? It must be sleep deprivation. She’d only been averaging five to six hours a night lately, and she’d lost a few pounds due to skipping meals. Maybe all she needed to get her attitude back in positive territory was a healthy meal, a good night’s sleep and before she could name anything else, TS’ face popped into her memory and how’d he looked as they rolled around that oversized bed.
Hmm, maybe that’s all she needed; to get laid. A woman had needs, and there were worse ways to get her groove back. Like chocolate or bacon mac n’ cheese. And two days of pretending that she didn’t want to take TS up on his offer or what she thought was an offer to continue what they started at the cabin was long enough. She’d been achy and if she were honest a bit horny lately. For him. Only for TS.
“Hey, handsome. How was the conference?” Kelsey walked over to her husband and kissed him as she wrapped her arm across the baby he held.
“Hey, yourself. Thanks for keeping her up.”
Mav and Kelsey were lost in their moment. Noel felt like the third wheel she was and quietly gathered up her shoes and purse and tiptoed out of the room. She peeked over her shoulder at the picture the happy family made. Yes, she was jealous, but her happiness for them outweighed the heaviness she felt whenever the green-eyed monster lifted its ugly head.
A soft voice followed her out of the room. “Girls night, next Friday. Be there, Ms. Snow. I know where you live, and I’ll hunt you down if need be.”
Noel smiled. Girls' night at The Club was just what she needed.
Or to get laid.
It was going to be interesting to see which one would happen first.
CHAPTER NINE
“Ouch. Darn it.” Noel pulled the tray full of roasted sweet potatoes out of the oven. They were perfectively caramelized, and the scent of cinnamon wafted through the kitchen. She loved to cook but rarely did since it was only herself.
He’d called, and she suggested dinner at her place. Glancing at the clock, TS would arrive in ten minutes. It was a date. Sort of. It was definitely a prelude to needing the box of condoms she bought today.
She set the oven to warm and put the potatoes back in then double-checked the chicken breasts she had on low on the stovetop. Rosemary and garlic chicken were her go-to dish when she wanted some comfort food. And she wanted to impress.
And the truth that she wanted to impress TS made her smile. She deserved to be happy. Not the happy type of happy that came with couple-hood, but maybe contentment-happy was enough. And someone to have great sex with, dinner here and there and then a friendly goodbye when one or both of them decided it was over.
A text from Kelsey brought her back to the present. She pulled up the article Kelsey wanted her to read and sat down hard in the chair closest to her.
She jumped when the front doorbell chimed.
“Darn it.” Noel untied her apron and went to let TS in. The hit piece she’d just read on TS made her wonder why he didn’t call her to cancel. Had he even seen it yet?
She opened the door. His face said it all. Yeah, he’d read it.
“Hi.” She stepped back to give him room. Lots of room.
TS stood there, staring at the space between them. “Something I said?”
“No, I … well, I just read the article on The Pinnacle’s website. Are you okay?”
“Neve better. What’s that I smell? Cinnamon?”
So that’s how they were going to play it—pretend it wasn’t out there. Because after all, they weren’t a couple.
She motioned him in, and he followed her into the kitchen. “Smells good.”
“You already said that.” She removed her apron and tossed it onto the counter. “Look, we can do this another night if you need to handle this.”
He didn’t respond, and for a minute, she didn’t think he would. “I’m a good listener, TS.” She wanted him to let her in. It scared her that she’d begun wanting things from him she had no right to, but he needed a friend right now.
“What do you already know? About my parents. Has Kelsey ever told you what a messed-up pair they were?”
She hadn’t, and from the anguish, on his face, she wouldn’t have had to. “Very little. I know that they didn’t get along, always fighting and that you never invited friends over to your house.”
“Yeah. The article did a pretty good job of digging into my mom’s background, and you don’t need to dig deep to know my father had money and was disliked in the community. But what the reporter didn’t know was how he spoke to me.”
She knew his father had died years ago. Heart attack or something. And she knew TS hadn’t returned for the funeral. She didn’t judge him for it. If she knew her father had died, she’d be the last one to attend his funeral. Huh, they had more in common than just great sex.
“He didn’t want me. And he sure as Hell didn’t want to marry my mother. But she blackmailed him. Back then, it was still taboo to knock up a part-time hooker and grifter.” He locked eyes with her as he said those heart-breaking words. As if he was daring her to look down on him.
The article had mentioned the grifter part. It seemed his mom was still active. But not the other part. And certainly not the unwanted angle. She stepped closer to him and put her hand on his chest.
“I wish I had the right words to help you heal. I can understand the unwanted part. Our father left my family when the going became too tough after my mother’s diagnosis. But you have to know that his words came from a dark place. Sounds to me like his role models sucked. And he took it out on you.”
He removed her hand from his chest and leaned back against the kitchen counter and crossed his arms. “Is that supposed to make me feel better? That he was part of some messed up crappy parenting cycle and just passed it on to me. Because being told you’ll amount to nothing every day of your life is fucked up, Noel. There is nothing anyone can say, not even you, that will change how I feel about him. Ever.”
His voice held controlled rage. She wanted to take it away, make everything better. Her heart ached for the little boy who only wanted to be loved and instead received nothing but spite from a wounded soul who made no attempt to rise up and become a better man.
Noel knew he wasn’t mad at her. All she could do was be there for him.
“I would never ask you to change who you are or how you feel. What I said was meant to let you know I understand. And because I think you need to hear it, tell you that no one has control over how you feel about yourself. Your father made a choice. He stayed in the cycle, stayed bitter, and did nothing to make sure his child had a better relationship with his father then he probably did.”
He didn’t say anything, but she had a bit more to say. Her need to take care of him was getting stronger; the more time they spent together.
“You probably don’t want to hear it, but I’m sorry that reporter dug up your past and is making you relive it. But don’t let it have power over you. You’re a better man than your father ever was, TS. Don’t let him ruin what you’ve worked so damn hard to accomplish.”
She didn’t know if she’d gone too far. He was notoriously private and probably didn’t want to have to share his hurts with her considering their relationship or lack thereof.
Noel waited for him to tell her he had to go. Instead, he let his hands fall to his sides. His face no longer showed any signs of anger. What she did see created a swarm of butterflies in her stomach.
“Thank you, Noel. I needed to hear that. You’re a good friend.”
The look he was giving her made her feel anything but friendly. I
t was downright predatory. And lucky her, she was the prey.
“We can talk more about what a shitty childhood I had and how I feel about a slimeball reporter tracking my mother down. But I’d rather handle other things. Namely you. You have a problem with me handling you, Noel?”
She watched as TS’s gaze roamed over her body. He did it twice, and when he paused on her chest, then looked up and locked eyes with her, she forgot her own name.
A part of her knew he was looking to blow off steam. That what they had was exactly what he was silently asking for. But another part wanted to open her arms and take him in and tell him it was going to be okay.
Her voice was shaky as she answered, “No.” Not from uncertainty but from the pent-up desire, she’d been holding onto during the past four days.
“Good. Turn off the oven, Noel.” He commanded.
She understood this was about sex and nothing else. His tone turned her on, the need in his eyes compelled her to do as he asked.
She turned around and switched off the heat. Not wanting to waste time, she quickly ran through her menu to make sure nothing else needed to be done. Everything else would keep while they… attended to other needs.
“TS, I want you to know— “
“Later, Noel. Right now, I need you.”
His words carried a level of desperation she recognized and their husky tone full of promises she wanted fulfilled. Now.
Before she could turn back around and walk to him, he was behind her and pulled her into his chest. He laid a hand on her stomach and pushed her into his erection.
“Tell me you’re not turned on right now?” He feathered kisses along her neck and jaw. She melted into his form and arched her back, trying to get closer.
A sense of Deja vu overcame her as an insistent buzzing sound came from his jacket pocket. She smiled at his groan. He kept kissing her neck as the tone played on.
“TS, are you sure you don’t have to answer that?”
