by Kim Lawrence
But, being Alan, once he had said what he thought he had been as supportive as ever.
‘Don’t start, please,’ she appealed to her friend with a warning look in Nicky’s direction. ‘Angolos is in Athens; he’s not back until tomorrow.’
She had expected to be able to empty the flat in one go, but when the Transit was full there were still half a dozen boxes sitting there. She left with the intention of picking them up after school the next day.
Around lunch-time she received a call from Alan who offered to pick the stuff up for her.
She gratefully accepted the offer. ‘That would be brilliant. I’ve got a parents’ night after school that I totally forgot about and—’
‘Just call me your guardian angel. Key in the usual place?’ he asked cheerfully. ‘And remember you owe me a pint.’
‘At least,’ she laughed. ‘Do you mind keeping the stuff at your flat until tomorrow?’
‘No problem.’
The parents’ evening went on longer than usual and it wasn’t just Nicky who felt cranky by the time they left for home. Her fatigue suddenly lifted as she saw the top-of-range Mercedes that Angolos drove parked in front of the house.
He was home early.
It was with a strange mixture of excitement and trepidation that she entered the house. The indomitable Emily, Angolos’s half-Scots half-Greek ex-nanny, who, despite Georgie’s initial doubts, was fast becoming indispensable, stepped into the brightly lit hallway as they walked in.
‘You look exhausted.’
‘It’s been a long day,’ Georgie admitted.
‘Why don’t you go and put your feet up? I’ll give the little one his supper and bath.’
‘Would you?’ Georgie sighed. ‘That would be marvellous,’ she admitted, handing Nicky over into the other woman’s capable hands. ‘The car…?’
A broad smile spread across the older woman’s homely features. ‘He’s in the study, dear.’
Georgie paused outside the study door and glanced at her flushed reflection in the mirror. The face that stared back at her was lit up from within.
His back to her, Angolos was looking out of the window. Despite her rigidly enforced restraint, she couldn’t help the way her senses thrilled at the sight of his broad-shouldered, narrow-hipped figure.
‘This is a surprise. I didn’t expect you until much later.’ Amazingly—at least it amazed her—nothing of what Georgie was feeling seeped into her voice.
‘Obviously.’
The moment he opened his mouth she knew something was wrong. When he spun around to face her she saw she had not been mistaken…Angolos was in a foul humour.
‘What’s wrong?’ She slid her bottom onto the arm of a chair and gave a sympathetic grimace. She lifted her hands to the log fire crackling in the hearth. The warmth it threw off didn’t compensate for the inexplicable iciness in Angolos’s manner. ‘Did your meetings not go well?’
‘I cancelled them,’ he said curtly.
Her eyes widened. She knew from what he had told her they had been important—very important. ‘Why?’
‘Because I couldn’t bear to be away from my loving wife.’
Hurt, Georgie flushed. ‘Don’t tell if you don’t want to, I was only trying to take an interest. There’s no need to be sarcastic.’
‘Where have you been…or should I not ask?’
The question and his attitude brought a bewildered expression to her face. ‘Of course you can ask. Do you have to pace around like that?’ She watched him; how could she not? Everything he did, including pacing like a caged tiger, was rivetingly graceful.
One brow lifted to a satirical angle as his unfriendly dark eyes raked her face. ‘I’m sublimating…what I actually want to do is wring your faithless neck.’
Georgie looked at him in astonishment. ‘I’ve not the faintest idea what you’re talking about, but I know I’ve had enough of this,’ she said, getting to her feet. ‘And you,’ she flung over her shoulder.
‘Don’t walk away while I’m talking to you!’
She swung back. ‘You’re not talking, you’re yelling at me, you’re glowering and you’re being generally incredibly unpleasant. But you’re not talking to me.’ She lifted a hand to her head in an intensely weary gesture. ‘Shall I tell you something funny? When I saw your car I was excited…happy.’ She stopped, hating the wobble in her voice.
‘He didn’t ring you, then. I thought he would…’
‘He…?’
‘Theos!’ he raged, raking an unsteady hand through his hair. ‘I may act like a fool where you are concerned, Georgette, but I would not advise you to treat me like an idiot,’ he recommended in a low, throbbing voice.
‘I’ve no idea what you’re talking about,’ she protested.
‘I am talking—’ he began advancing towards her with a slow, measured tread that reminded her of a panther menacing its prey ‘—about my visit to your flat.’
‘You visited my flat…?’
Angolos watched her face; surprise but not the faintest trace of guilt was written there. He frowned as if her response was not what he had anticipated. ‘You’re a much better actress than I gave you credit for.’
‘I take it that wasn’t a compliment…’
He sucked in his breath through flared nostrils but didn’t deign to respond to her comment.
‘Why,’ she asked, feeling her way, ‘did you go to my flat?’
‘I went because a person who said he was your landlord rang and said you still had property there and you had promised to vacate by today…but the why is not important—’
‘Today! I’ve got until the end of the week!’ she exclaimed indignantly. ‘I’m sorry you had the bother. Alan’s going to pick it up for me.’ Surely the fact he had had a wasted journey could not account for his atrocious mood.
He shot her a look that simmered with hostility. ‘So I understood from him.’
A sliver of caution crept into her manner; the antipathy Alan felt for Angolos was fully reciprocated. ‘He was there…?’
‘Oh, yes…he was there.’
She sighed. ‘I suppose things got a little awkward?’
His brows lifted. ‘Awkward…?’
‘Well, I know you never took to him…’
A choking sound emerged from Angolos’s brown throat. ‘And this surprises you?’ he enquired.
‘Not really,’ she conceded with a sigh. ‘But I wish you’d make a bit of an effort. Actually it’s just as well he was there or you wouldn’t have been able to get in. You don’t have a key.’
‘I must admit that I had not quite realised my good fortune until this moment.’
The inflection in his voice made her wince. ‘Please don’t be like that. I’ve had an awful day.’
In the act of raking his fingers through his hair he stopped and grabbed a hank of the dark silky strands in his clenched fingers. ‘Mine hasn’t been too terrific.’
‘Do you want to talk about it?’
Her attempt to be an understanding wife was greeted with a look so hostile that she physically recoiled. ‘I’ll take that as no, shall I? Did Alan leave a message?’
‘No!’ The explosive negative emerged with the force of a bullet leaving a pistol. ‘He did not leave a message and unless he is even more stupid than I think do not expect to hear from him any time soon.’
‘You were horrible to him, weren’t you? I’m going to have to ring him and apologise now.’
‘Apologise…?’ he echoed hoarsely, incredulous. ‘Apologise for me?’ His outraged gaze locked onto her. ‘You will not apologise for me. In fact you will not speak to that man again. Nor will you see him. I made it very clear to your…Alan…that if he comes anywhere near you I will break every bone in his body!’
‘You did what? Are you mad?’ she demanded. No other immediate explanation sprang to mind for his extraordinary behaviour.
His lips twisted as he gave her question a moment’s consideration. ‘There is every possibi
lity I am mad. I’m mad because I married you and I’m mad because I didn’t break his neck. Nevertheless, I think the spineless jerk got the message. He knows what I’ll do if I find him creeping around you again.’
She went white with a combination of fury and shock.
‘Oh, for goodness’ sake!’ She was literally shaking with outrage as she stepped right up to him. ‘Do you think this sort of stuff intimidates me?’
Angolos’s eyes remained glued to the finger that was being jabbed into his chest.
‘Because I can assure you it doesn’t. It just shows you up for the nasty bully you are. How dare you sneer at my friends? And what makes you think you can tell me who I can or cannot have as a friend…?’ She closed her eyes and shook her head. ‘And to think I thought this might actually work!’
‘What really offends me is that you brought my son in contact with that man!’
Eyes closed, she shook her head slowly from side to side. ‘Contact? Nicky has known Alan all his life. He’s marvellous with him.’ Her eyes blinked open, bright gold and filled with sick, shocked comprehension. ‘That’s what this is about, isn’t it? I thought you were a lot of things, but I never had you down as homophobic. Well, I don’t care about your prejudices, but I won’t have you pass them on to Nicky.
‘For your information, Alan has been a good friend to me over the years and I don’t intend to give him the push just because you’re a nasty, narrow-minded bigot!’ she finished breathlessly.
Angolos did not react to her impassioned outburst immediately. He didn’t just not react—he didn’t do anything. Not even an eyelash flickered as he stood there motionless, his dark liquid eyes trained on her face.
‘What did you just say?’ There was a strained quality to his accented voice.
‘I don’t remember,’ she admitted miserably. The emotional aftermath of her outburst had left her literally shaking.
‘Homophobic…?’
‘Well, can you deny it?’
‘Of course I can damn well deny it!’
‘Really?’ She gave a sceptical sniff. ‘Well, what other reason could you possibly have for the way you’re acting? Well…?’ she added as he showed no signs of responding to her challenge.
Actually closer inspection revealed that his skin had acquired an unhealthy greyish tinge and the tension that held every muscle of his body rigid was scary.
‘Are you all right?’ she asked, her voice roughened by a concern she felt awkward revealing. In the space of seconds she had gone from wanting to hit him to wanting to hug him… She doubted there was another person in the world capable of drawing such an exhausting, extreme response from her.
Without saying anything, he walked over to his desk and opened the big diary that lay there. For several tense moments he stood there staring at the blank page. Still staring at the page, he said, ‘I thought he was your lover.’
At first she thought she had misheard him. ‘What…?’
A great sigh shuddered from the depths of his chest as his eyes lifted to hers. ‘I thought you were sleeping with the guy. What else was I to think?’ he demanded, suddenly angry. ‘He had a key and wherever you are he always turns up…’
‘That’s what friends do,’ she reminded him. ‘But he’s gay.’
He slanted her a look that seethed with frustration. ‘I know that now, but quite obviously he didn’t know when he was in Greece.’
‘You thought that I was sleeping with another man?’ She lifted her eyes to his face expecting him to deny it. He didn’t. She gave her head a tiny shake. ‘This is mad…’ she contended huskily. ‘How on earth could you have thought even for one minute that…Alan…?’
‘Stop this, Georgette.’ The anger seemed to have drained from him, leaving only a sense of immense weariness. ‘I know what went on between you in Greece.’
‘What are you talking about, what went on? I don’t understand.’
Angolos studied her bewildered face and released a hard laugh. ‘Then I’ll explain, shall I? It means that you can stop pretending.’
‘I’m not—’
‘Enough!’ His voice was like a clap of thunder. ‘I found the note he wrote you. The day you told me you were pregnant.’ He closed his eyes and quoted in a flat voice. “‘I’m sorry. I thought I was ready, but I’m not. Sorry I’m not strong, love you always, Alan.”’
‘You remember it word for word?’ Georgie was amazed by his perfect recall.
‘Of course I bloody remember it word for word. I had the damned thing in my pocket when you told me you were pregnant. To me it seemed obvious that your lover had let you down so you were trying to pass off his baby as mine, because I knew that I couldn’t father a child.’
Georgie stood stock-still, unable to believe what she was hearing. He scanned her marble-pale face and gave a twisted smile.
‘But you could,’ she whispered.
‘Yes, I could. As a matter of interest, did you know who was the father before Nicky was born? Or were you relieved to have the matter settled when he looked so like me?’
Tears formed in Georgie’s eyes. Not of anger—she had gone way past anger by this point. ‘Yes, I knew who the father was. There was never any question of who the father was.’
‘No contraception is foolproof,’ he stressed.
It took several seconds for his meaning to sink in. For reasons that were now obvious, Angolos had never used contraception and had changed the subject whenever she had awkwardly broached it.
‘I suppose I should be grateful you had safe sex.’
‘Right now I want very badly to hit you.’
Angolos looked slightly disconcerted by her low comment voiced in an almost conversational tone.
‘Alan came out to Greece because I asked him to. I was lonely.’
An explosive sound erupted from Angolos’s throat as he began to stride towards the door. ‘Are you trying to rub my nose in this, Georgette? Because—’
‘What I’m trying to do is set the record straight,’ she cut in. ‘That letter you memorised would read slightly differently if you knew that I had persuaded Alan, or I thought I had persuaded him, to tell his parents about his sexuality.’
His back turned to her, Angolos froze. Slowly she saw his fingers unpeel from the door handle.
‘He decided at the last minute that he couldn’t go through with it,’ Georgie told his broad back. ‘It was another six months before he confronted them, and you know what was funny…?’ She paused and brushed away the tears that were silently streaming down her face. ‘They knew all the time. They had been waiting for him to tell them. Now you have to admit that that is classic.’
Angolos turned. The strain etched in the strong lines of his face was echoed in his eyes. ‘Is this true?’ he asked hoarsely. ‘You were never lovers?’
‘You’re the only man I’ve ever slept with. My secret lover was only ever a figment of your sordid imagination.’
The accusation made the last dregs of colour leach from his face. The knuckles on the fist he had clenched against his mouth went white. With his other hand he wiped away the sheen of moisture from his forehead, but almost immediately beads of sweat bubbled up to replace it.
‘What have I done?’ He swallowed convulsively and pressed his hands to his head. ‘I thought you had made a fool of me… My damned pride. I thought another man had given you what I couldn’t.’
Georgie stood there. She knew that seeing him go through such agonies of remorse should be making her feel better, but it wasn’t. Seeing him suffer gave her no glow of satisfaction at all. It just made her feel wretched, because when Angolos hurt so did she.
Angolos’s shoulders suddenly straightened. He looked directly at her. ‘I will of course apologise to your friend.’
All her instincts made her want to run to him and throw her arms around him, but his manner was so distant and formal that such a thing was unthinkable.
‘Thank you.’ She didn’t know what else to say.
He shot her a pained look. ‘You don’t have to thank me. Because of me you have spent the last three years struggling to bring up a child alone.’
‘It wasn’t a struggle, it was a pleasure, and I wasn’t alone, I had my family.’
‘I will make it up to you. If it takes me the rest of my life I’ll make it up to you,’ he vowed, grinding one clenched fist into the other.
‘You think I want our marriage to be a penance?’ She let her head loll back to release some of the tension in her neck muscles.
‘What do you want our marriage to be?’
At last a question that she actually knew the answer to without three hours’ soul-searching. ‘What I always wanted it to be: a partnership of equals.’ Loving equals, she silently qualified.
He studied her in amazement. ‘You still want that?’
‘What has changed?’
Angolos stared at her, as far as he was concerned, everything had.
Five minutes earlier he had been comfortably occupying the moral high ground. She had betrayed him but he had been prepared to put that to one side in order to preserve their marriage and create a stable home for their son.
Now he knew everything he had been thinking had been based on a lie. He had punished the woman he loved because he had been blinded by jealousy.
‘I hope one day you will be able to forgive me for what I have done.’
‘I do…’
‘That isn’t possible.’
She gave an exasperated sigh. ‘Will you stop telling me how I feel? You’re as bad as my family. It’s true,’ she added as he looked about to protest. ‘You are. I know you feel bad, but that’s not the important thing, is it…?’
‘It isn’t…?’
‘We got back together because of Nicky, didn’t we?’
Angolos, who was pacing restlessly around the room, stopped mid-stride. His face turned to hers; his dark eyes moved over her pale but resolute face. ‘Is that why we got back together?’
She put down the strangeness of his tone to the discovery she had not been unfaithful. ‘Well, obviously.’
He suddenly flopped down into an armchair. ‘Of course it is.’
