by Rachel Hanna
“When are you off the clock?”
She stopped halfway to the door, cringing that his voice, even rough with pain and nausea, felt like cocoa butter smoothed over her skin. There was no excuse for her reaction to him, and there was no justification for answering his question. “What does that matter, Mr. Donovan?”
“Would you stop bloody calling me that? I’m not some stodgy old man.” Had anyone else uttered such a statement, she would have laughed and complied, but here, she didn’t want to be personable. “Look, Sadie, I just want to talk to you about what happened. I have a lot to say, and I’ll be buggered if the fact I’m laid up in a hospital bed is going to stop me from saying it now that I’ve found you.”
Clenching her teeth, Sadie checked her watch. She had a lot to say as well, and if she was out of uniform and off the clock, she might just get away with a few choice words. Maybe it would give her some closure on the matter, and she’d finally be able to move on. Taking a deep breath and closing her eyes, she hissed, “I’ll be off in just over an hour.”
“Then come and see me.” His request sounded almost desperate, but he was likely a practiced liar by now. “If you don’t, I swear I’ll find a way out of this bed to chase you down until you let me say my piece.”
What a stubborn son of a bitch, Sadie thought, but she nodded curtly. “Fine. Now, I’m going to send the doctor in to see to you.” Before he could say another word, she rushed out of the room. To her relief, Dr. Osmond stood two doors down, chatting with what seemed to be a family member of one of her patients. She stood and waited, trying not to be antsy, and when the conversation ended, she stepped up to Osmond.
“Hey, Sadie, how’s it going?” Osmond seemed a bit distracted, but she’d make sure that didn’t last.
“Jake Donovan is conscious and in pain. I think you should go in and take a look at him, if you don’t mind.” The words fell out of her mouth in a blur, and she held her breath, sure the doctor would ask her if there was any trouble.
Instead, he smiled congenially and seemed fairly pleased. “That’s fabulous! Yes, I’ll go right in. Thank you, Sadie.”
He started past her toward Jake’s room, and she called over her shoulder, “He probably needs a higher morphine dose and some promethazine for nausea.” Osmond waved back at her, letting her know he’d heard her, so she continued on her way, wanting to be as far from Jake as possible.
When not ill, Jake had no patience for doctors or hospitals. And with the medication that had been intravenously delivered, he felt like a million dollars. Sure, he was attached to several monitors, and the meds flowed continuously through his slightly battered, broken, and bruised body. But that barely slowed him down mentally, and all he could think about with each loud pump of his heart that registered on the monitor was Sadie.
He’d wondered what happened to her. He’d been back through town in the last three years but she’d never reappeared. He wanted to find out why she never contacted him, why she’d been so cold to him today. What had he done so wrong?
A knock on the door got his attention, and when it cracked, the light from the hallway illuminated Sadie like a silhouette. He stared at her, completely shocked at how circumstances always had a silver lining, and he forced a smile, despite her sour face. She’d changed into jeans and a yellow blouse and carried a small shoulder bag, though she still carried herself with the same professional posture.
Striding with all the confidence she could muster, Sadie stopped about three feet from the end of the bed, noting that the sallow complexion had fled from his face, and he looked a hundred times better than he had just an hour ago. It was amazing what painkillers and nausea meds could do for a person.
Not that it made such a difference, but at least she wouldn’t feel like she was yelling at an invalid.
“You came back.” He sounded surprised.
Sadie rolled her eyes. “I told you I would. But I don’t plan to stay forever, so whatever you have to say, let’s hear it so I can go home.”
“Why are you so angry? You’re not a cold person, Sadie.” He narrowed his eyes, seeming to consider her carefully.
She scoffed. “You don’t know anything about me, Jake. And I obviously don’t know anything about you. I was barely twenty-one, and you took advantage of me.” She hadn’t meant to walk in and start laying into him, but his feigned naivety and his indignation at her obvious disdain for him riled her up.
“You acted like you really gave a damn, and when I woke up, I was alone in a bed with a note.”
He frowned, his brows drawing tightly together. “I’m sorry about that. I was young as well, and I didn’t know how to handle myself. I thought I had your number, but I lost it, and I couldn’t find you again. I looked for you every time I came through town.”
What a crock of shit! “Did you really expect me to chase after you? You’re an egotistical bastard if that’s the case. I mean, seriously, I moved on, and maybe I hoped you’d try to find me, but if you really wanted to, you could have. All you had to do was look me up. I lived in the same damn house till a few months ago.”
Now, Jake was a bit irritated. “So, tell me, love, if you wanted to be found that badly, why didn’t you give me your last name? That would have gotten me a bloody long way in finding you.”
Sadie almost blushed. Maybe that had been her mistake, but she had ammunition of her own. Pointing an accusing finger at him, she bit back, “You didn’t bother to tell me who you were at all. I read it on the note, and that’s when I realized I was sleeping with a damned rock god.”
Jake didn’t enjoy the fact that he could hear his anger in the sound of the heart rate monitor speeding up. “And maybe I wanted you to know me for who I was and not what I was before I told you. Do you know how hard it is to find someone who doesn’t recognize my face and still has an interest in me? And it’s even harder to find someone that interests me who doesn’t have any ulterior motives.” He shook his head, instantly regretting it as the room started to spin. “Bugger me,” he breathed.
Sadie deflated at the obvious change. He was hurting, or maybe nauseated again. She almost went to him to do her job before she kicked herself internally. She wasn’t on the clock, and it was just as likely that he was manipulating her, trying to make her feel guilty and sorry for him. She wouldn’t do it.
“Don’t try to work me over, Jake. I’m a lot more world-wise than I was three years ago.”
Tired now, he could hear the exhaustion in his voice. “You weren’t just some conquest to me, Sadie, no matter what you think. But I can’t make you believe that. There’s no way to prove it to you, unless you’re a little forgiving, maybe a little trusting.” Maybe he should have stayed longer, or woken her up before he left. Maybe he should have said more in the note, left his phone number, made sure he had hers on him. He didn’t know exactly what could have gone differently because, one way or the other, he hadn’t been in a place to stick around long. But whatever he’d done to hurt her had been an accident, and he only wanted to right his wrong.
Sadie knew better. Once trust was broken, you could rebuild it all day long, but those shards didn’t fit perfectly together, and it was even easier to shatter it again. It would never be solid. “I don’t need you to make it up to me, Jake. I need you to leave me alone.” She looked down at her hands, realizing she’d been picking at her cuticle and it was bleeding. Cursing softly under her breath, she told him, “You being here disrupted my world. I’d put you aside, hadn’t thought about you in a long time, and then fate sends you to my hospital. Your bus goes to hell in a hand basket in my town, and you’re under my care.”
She took one step forward, leveling her gaze on him with a resigned assurance. “I’m going to make sure I’m not your nurse anymore, Jake. It’s not healthy. I just got my career started, and I’ll be damned if it gets ruined because I can’t seem to be objective around you.”
He raised an eyebrow at that. It was intriguing. Unable to resist, he asked, “Why not?
Because you still care?”
Blinking back a tear, she shook her head. “No, Jake, because you hurt me. And right now, the wounds are wide open so all I can think about is making sure you hurt as badly as I do. And no nurse should treat a patient that makes her feel that way.” Without giving him a chance to respond, she turned on her heel and fled, practically racing down the hall without concern for what anyone else thought. She’d be damned if she’d let any of them see her cry.
Jake stared at the spot where Sadie had stood moments before, feeling like she’d stuck a knife in his chest. Did she really wish him such harm? Had he screwed up so badly he couldn’t even get her to spend five minutes listening to him without crying? At that moment, he hated himself, a feeling he’d never before experienced, and he wanted to hurt, too. He never would have purposely inflicted pain on Sadie.
But now he understood, at least, why she’d never called or sought him out. He was Jake Donovan, and it wasn’t that difficult to find him. And he’d kept her on the ‘short list’ in case anyone ever received mail, a call, a visit, or any sign she wanted to be in touch with him. For three years, she’d felt rejected, and it was his doing. No woman in her right mind would chase after someone who made her feel as used as the hotel room towels he’d left behind, so of course Jake had never heard from her.
But now, he had a chance to redeem himself. And if she wouldn’t listen to him talk, he’d find other ways to make his case. The doctor had called his publicist and several others who hadn’t been involved in the accident, and they were currently en route to see him. Between the lot of them, he’d find a way to make things up to Sadie and maybe even get another chance at her when he was out of this bloody forsaken hospital bed.
“I heard he’s awake.”
Sadie solemnly swore she wouldn’t randomly answer the phone without checking caller ID again as she licked the last of her bite of triple chocolate chunk ice cream off the spoon. Joan was the last person she wanted to talk to, knowing the subject matter that would be involved. “Yes, he’s awake.”
Joan actually squealed into the phone, a piercing sound that had Sadie holding the receiver away from her ear until it quit. “So, what’s he like? What’s his voice like?”
Trying to hold back her disgust, she scooped out another bite, watching the muted version of a Friends rerun in the background. “He sounds human and in pain. Come on, Joan, I didn’t stand there and ogle him or quiz him. I did my job and moved on. I have too many patients to stand around schmoozing with Jake Donovan.” Even his name left a bad taste on her tongue.
“Oh, come on, Sadie. I know you said you aren’t a fan of the music, but don’t act like you feel dirty just because you had to touch the guy. I mean, whether you like the music or not, you have to admit he’s gorgeous, and he’s famous, and he’s rich. It’s natural to be a little giddy about that.”
She had been, once upon a time. And she understood Joan’s perspective. But the circumstances were different, and she wished she could explain it to Joan. Of course, knowing her coworker, Joan would just as likely think Sadie was crazy for her bitterness. She could hear Joan now, saying, What I wouldn’t give to have a one-night-stand with Jake Donovan! Count yourself lucky!
So, instead, she just grunted. “Yes, he’s incredibly sexy. But he’s not my type.” That was an understatement, but it was the best she could offer.
“I’m surprised they don’t have security posted around his door,” Joan mused, seeming to ignore her commentary at the moment. “I mean, I know we’ve got guards downstairs, and they’ve kept the details of the accident really quiet, but there’s going to be a leak at some point that tells everyone and God that Jake Donovan is at Fraser Hospital.”
Snorting, Sadie shook her head and forced herself to close the pint of ice cream, denying herself any more chocolate or sugar tonight. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you were the leak, Joan. Gossip Girl is your favorite show for a reason.”
“Because it’s quality television,” Joan argued, her voice filled with indignation. “Besides, I wouldn’t leak that. Then, I wouldn’t have a chance in hell of sneaking into his room and asking for an autograph.”
“You wouldn’t dare!”
“Not on your shift. You think I want to get you in trouble?” Joan giggled, and Sadie groaned. Her friend was like a school girl who’d never grown out of silly little crushes. It was all fine and good, Sadie didn’t care how Joan felt about Jake. She just wanted to make sure she didn’t have to look at his gorgeous but lying eyes again.
“Whatever, Joan. Good luck. I’m going to make sure I’m not on his duty anymore anyway. It’s just not comfortable for me.” She stood and walked to the kitchen, putting the rest of the pint in the freezer and throwing the spoon in the sink. “I’ll see you in a couple of days.”
“Alright, take it easy and get some rest. You sound ridiculously stressed, and I’m afraid it’s contagious.” With that, Joan hung up, and Sadie tossed her phone onto the couch, then headed out back to enjoy a cigarette before she went to bed. She really should quit, and maybe, after this whole rock star drama disappeared, she’d be back in a stress-free environment where that would be possible. For now, though, it was her only escape, and she would smoke like a chimney if that’s what it took to lighten her mood.
Chapter 4
“You must be kidding me.” Sadie groaned, rubbing her eyes in hopes that she’d read the notes wrong. “How do three nurses all come down with a bug on the same day?”
Freda smirked. “Honey, it’s called a bachelorette party. There are four others on the floor downstairs who called in sick, too. One of them is getting married tomorrow, and I can guarantee you they all went out drinking last night and have hangovers that could make a grown man weep.”
On that note, Sadie vaguely remembered receiving and turning down an invitation to some such party recently, and while she was glad not to be in the same boat as all the idiots who had drank themselves stupid, she was also nonplused at the idea of having to cover for them all. The note said that, due to excess overtime, there was one backup that should be on her way in, but that most of those hours would just be cut. Sadie frowned. “You’d think that, with the kind of money this place charges people and their insurance for health care, they could afford more help.”
“Stingy administrations,” Freda responded, shaking her head. “It’s not about helping people the way it used to be. Now, it’s about making every penny you can.” Standing with an armful of charts, she handed them to Sadie. “Here’s your share. I’ve got mine right here.” She pointed to a stack that, somehow, looked even thicker than Sadie’s.
With a sigh of disgust, she dropped her stack on the desk and flipped through them. Of course, she had guessed correctly. While Freda had simply handed her one side of the long hallway and not meant to cause any problems, she’d managed to give Sadie the set that included Jake Donovan’s chart.
Clenching her jaw in frustration, she prayed the fill-in nurse would show up before she made it that far down the hallway. She’d start at the opposite end and keep her eyes open.
But to her consternation, most of the patients she dealt with simply needed their vitals checked and logged, and she couldn’t really dawdle over that. To make matters worse, the only time the phone rang during her first round was to let her know that the replacement that had been called in was being relocated to the floor below, where there were several new patients and they were short a doctor, as well. That meant she would have to suck it up again and face the man who had left her to rebuild her self-confidence so many years ago.
Standing at the door to his room, she squared her shoulders and took several deep breaths, determined to stand strong and tall. Rapping quickly, she didn’t wait for a response as she entered, not really caring if he was ready for her or not. She was going in to take his vitals and getting out.
But as she walked in, she froze. The man was sitting on the edge of the hospital bed, his face contorted with pain as he worked to
breathe, his chest heaving. All professionalism gone in a heartbeat at the sight, Sadie tossed the file folder on a counter and rushed to the bed. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? You have injuries that mean you’re not supposed to be getting out of bed, especially by yourself.”
Jake looked at her with dark eyes that spoke to the agony he was in. “A man’s got to use the restroom sometime, and I couldn’t wait any longer, love.” He appeared humble and shamed, which was nothing like the confident rocker Sadie knew, and it became obvious he didn’t take well to injuries and limitations. But that was no excuse.
“Damn it, Jake, your lung was punctured. Your ribs are wrapped, and you have stitches in your stomach. Do you know how much damage you could do trying to get up without help?” She focused on the idiocy of the patient rather than who he was as her instincts as a nurse kicked in. She picked up his arm and draped it over her shoulders, reaching for the stand with his IV’s and bringing it with them, disconnecting his pulse-ox sensor as she shifted to bring him heavily to his feet. “Geez, Jake, you’re heavy.”
He grunted, whether from the insult or the pain Sadie wasn’t sure and didn’t care. She hoisted him further, getting him into a hunched position, and helped him cart his body to the restroom. She didn’t think ahead, and as they stood in front of the toilet, Sadie suddenly blushed. Jake smirked at her. “It’s nothing you haven’t seen, doll. And you’ve made it plain that you want nothing of me other than to be my nurse, something you aren’t exactly keen on anyway.”
Still, Sadie couldn’t bring herself to reconcile the situation and, rather than cause either of them any more discomfort, she turned around, facing the door as he leaned on her and did his business. Her cheeks heated anyway, and she tried to focus on just about anything else aside from Jake as she guided him to the sink so he could wash his hands. The walk back to the bed was a relief, and it took some work to settle him back in, now that he’d made himself hurt. It served him right, but her medical training overrode her personal opinion, and she made a note to increase his pain medication for a single dose.
