by Rachel Hanna
With a mischievous smile, Joan moved in closer, speaking in a more confidential tone of voice. “Well, I was planning to go out tonight, and this guy is hot. I mean, he’s really hot. But he called earlier and told me that his cousin is in town for a couple of days and he doesn’t want to ditch the guy because they hardly ever see each other. I don’t want to cancel the date, so I told him I’d find a single friend to bring along as sort of a date for him. I promise you, there’s no necessary commitment, and I can guarantee you that, with as gorgeous as this man is, the cousin can’t be a dog.”
Sadie closed her eyes and shook her head, laughing under her breath. “Are you asking me to go on a blind double date so you don’t miss out on an opportunity to get laid?”
She only laughed harder with Joan smiled sheepishly and blushed. “I guess so, yes. But it’ll be fun, I promise.” Now, she took on that whining, begging tone of voice, and it made Sadie want to turn her down on principle alone. At the same time, though, the more she thought about it, the more she realized that, if she joined Joan on this little outing, she’d at least have the distraction she was looking for. And for all she knew, this guy she would be on a blind date with could turn out to be amazing. If he wasn’t, what did it hurt? He was from out of town, and she never had to see him again.
With a sigh of resignation, she nodded. “I’m not off till six, so I won’t be ready to go until at least seven. Is that alright?”
Doing what could only be described as a happy dance, Joan squealed. “That’s perfect. We’ll pick you up at 7:30.” Running around behind Sadie’s chair, Joan hugged her. “Thank you so much, Sadie! You’re a really good friend.”
Admittedly, Joan was, too, even if she was flighty and sometimes spontaneous. But as a worker, she was dedicated, and she was always there when she was needed. “I’ll be ready, Joan. Why don’t you get out of here before the circus begins? You might actually make it out of the parking garage if you go before the crowd gets dispersed.”
The girl was out the door a few minutes later, and Sadie turned back to her computer. But before she could get anything done, a man in an unfamiliar uniform approached with a clipboard. Wanting to lash out, she instead offered a vague smile. “Can I help you?”
He raised an eyebrow and looked bemused, but she couldn’t figure out why. “I’m looking for Sadie. Head nurse?” He eyed her name tag as if he already knew the answer and simply wanted to keep her waiting for the punch line of some big joke.
“Yes, I’m Sadie Birch. What can I do for you?” irritated, she tapped her nails on the desk.
“Do you happen to have an office or something? Because I have a delivery for you that won’t exactly fit here in this little quadrant.” He motioned with flair to the nurses’ station, and Sadie frowned.
“No, I don’t have an office, but what sort of delivery could be coming for me that doesn’t fit here?”
He made a face. “I’ve got a total of one thousand roses for you. Arrangements in various colors, twenty per bouquet. Now, where can we arrange fifty of those bouquets?”
Eyes wide, Sadie watched as delivery men began to file into the hallway carrying enough roses each to double their weight. “What...” she stood and ran her hands through her hair in frustration and shock. What the hell was she supposed to do with all of this?! Not to mention that she didn’t think it was appropriate to fill the hallways of a hospital with flowers, since it was supposed to be a clean space and too many people had allergies to things like roses. “I can’t have these here!”
The guy shrugged. “I have specific directions, ma’am. I know it might be an inconvenience, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I have to deliver.”
She crossed her arms over her chest in opposition. At this point, she didn’t even care where they came from, just that they were going to severely mess up her day. “Not if I don’t sign for them.”
“Oh, I’ll sign for them if you don’t, if only to see who your secret suitor is,” Tiff told her, coming up from behind. Sadie’s shoulders sagged. She hadn’t even realized the young woman had come in, but then, she was due to be off in a couple of hours and they could use the transitional help. With morbid curiosity, Sadie took the work order and signed it.
She turned to Tiff. “Do me a favor and have all these dropped in the break room. I think we’re going to redistribute them to patients later because there’s no way they can stay there and no way I can take them home.” Tiff nodded and took off, leading the men carrying the bouquets toward the break room as the original guy smiled brilliantly and handed her a sealed card.
With a sigh, she opened it and winced, seeing the initials JD at the bottom before she even read the message. How had she known? Running her eyes back up toward the top, she read the custom paragraph, written in swirling, girlish handwriting that was actually quite pretty.
Dearest Sadie, I don’t know exactly how long I left you waiting and in pain, but I know it’s been nearly 1000 days. My apologies could never say enough, nor can a rose for each day I hurt you. But I wanted to symbolize my sorrow and admit my wrong. Please consider forgiveness and what second chances can mean in life. I’ve been given one, and for me, that means Fate is on our side.
Sadie shook her head and looked up at the delivery man, who watched her expectantly. “Thank you. I suggest you get in and out of here as quickly as possible, since all hell is about to break loose outside.”
“Oh, you mean the masses waiting to see Jake Donovan’s face? I noticed the signs outside. I’m in no rush. This order pays for my day, so I can sort of lounge around.” He smiled knowingly. “But if you’re afraid I’ll follow you into Mr. Donovan’s room, I can head downstairs and sit in the cafeteria for awhile and leave you to your business.” He turned with a chuckle and moved down the hall, ambling along and whistling a cheerful tune.
It made Sadie smile through her concern, and that made it a little less painful to think about confronting Jake. With deliberate steps, she left her work behind and knocked on Jake’s door before entering the room. He didn’t say anything, but as she held up the card, his lips quirked into a shy smile. “I take it my delivery has arrived.”
She nodded. “What were you thinking, having a thousand roses delivered here, where I’m trying to take care of dozens of patients? They’re a distraction, and there’s no room for that many bouquets here. What am I supposed to do with all this? It’s not like I can carry them home, either. Even if I felt like hauling all that weight, I don’t have room in my car, and I’m not making multiple trips for that.”
His amusement was tangible. “I can hire another truck to tote them for you, if you like.”
Exasperated, she threw up her hands. “I don’t want you to spend any money on me!”
Jake eyed her, trying to figure out what she truly wanted. She didn’t seem angry, and he almost believed she was flattered by his gesture. He wondered how she would feel as the rest of his shower of gifts began to befall her. “Then tell me, love, what will it take to make you understand, to win you over to get just one more chance to prove that I am not some louse?”
He waited as she stared blankly at him. He could feel the air changing and, he hoped, clearing. Maybe she was ready to let go of her hatred and bitterness and decided to at least look at him with a clean slate. That was a start. She opened her mouth several times before she finally spoke. “Why, Jake? Why did you kiss me? Why are you trying so hard? Is this about making amends? If so, I forgive you. I have to move on with my life, so I can’t keep holding a grudge. I’ve done it for too long, and it’s exhausting. So, if that’s the closure you’re looking for, you’ve got it.”
It was a relief that she could forgive him, even though he hadn’t known for years that she was angry. But it wasn’t enough, and hopefully, that look in her eyes that had replaced the pain and disdain was some sort of compassion and maybe more. “That’s not what I want, Sadie. It’s a step, but it’s not enough. I want another chance. I want us to spend some time together
, for you to see who I really am, and to see if maybe there’s a chance for us to be together the way we should have three years ago.”
Sadie blinked several times. She couldn’t believe she was having this conversation with him. Not only was he just a one-night-stand from the past, as much as it hurt that he’d left her feeling used, and today, he was one of the most famous faces in music. He’d nearly been killed in a wreck, and some nasty twist of fate had brought him back into her life. Maybe it had been a chance for her to get closure, but that’s not what he was asking for. He was asking so much more. It didn’t make sense. “You can have any woman you want, Jake. Why are you fixated on me right now?”
He scoffed. “Dear god, Sadie, I’m not fixated on you now. I’ve thought of you almost every day since I left you that night. I’ve compared every woman I’ve met since to you, and no one stands up to the image you created. No one has ever been so sincere, and I’ve never connected with anyone the way we connected. And because you had no idea who I was, I know that none of what we shared was fake, none of it was a lie. How am I supposed to trust another woman? You didn’t ask anything of me but honesty, and I was completely blown away by you. Do you not see your own value?”
With tears forming in her eyes that she would not let him see, Sadie looked down, refusing to meet his gaze. “I can’t give you an answer to that right now, Jake. There’s so much going on, and I’m trying to hold things together around here. Being confronted this way is too much.”
“Please, Sadie, just think it over. Obviously, except for getting into a private care facility, I’m not going anywhere anytime soon, love. Take your time, and really think about it, because what we started that night has the potential to turn into something epic.” He held his breath, hoping for one more small concession.
For lack of another answer, Sadie shrugged. The stress was too much. “I’ll think about it, Jake, but you can’t expect anything to happen quickly, not with everything else going on.” Before she could get caught up in another debate with him, she hurried from the room, straight for the nurses’ station, determined to finish her work and get out of here. She wanted no part in the media circus, and more than that, she wanted to go out with Joan and whoever these guys were because, as far as she could tell, it was going to be the only way she could get her mind off Jake for any amount of time.
Kyle Simmons stepped into Jake’s room, his expression grave. Jake didn’t want to talk to the band’s publicist; his mind wandered in other directions, some hopeful, some not. But he didn’t welcome the intrusion right now. He wanted to marinate in his own ponderings. “Can I assist you with something, Kyle?”
The man in the suit that cost over two thousand Euros stood with rigid posture that brought to mind a steel rod stuck up his arse, and that’s exactly how Jake usually thought of the man. “I thought perhaps you’d be interested in the press release happening downstairs as we speak. I also haven’t had a chance to visit you since you were admitted to this godforsaken hospital. I’m surprised you haven’t requested you be moved to an upscale private facility yet.”
“I’m perfectly comfortable here, Kyle. They take excellent care of their patients and have given me every comfort and every medication, test, and treatment I could possibly require. I’ll likely need some sort of rehabilitation as I heal, at which point I’ll look into a private location with a private therapist. Until then, I don’t intend to ask for special privileges.”
“If you had, this three-ring circus downstairs could have been avoided. As it is, I’m trying to determine the best way to address the media regarding how long the band will be on hiatus before members are replaced.” Kyle’s eyes flared, but Jake’s temper was hotter as he processed the man’s insensitive words.
“Bugger off, Kyle! The band is over. It’s my band, which I built based on solid friendships. More than half of my mates are lost, and I haven’t even had a chance to grieve. Here you are talking about replacing the irreplaceable. You are nothing better than paparazzi media hounds, you sack of shit. Now, if you don’t get out of my room and stop trying to run my life, I will have security called on you and have you escorted out of the hospital with a mandate that you not be allowed to return. If you want to keep drawing a paycheck in the interim, I suggest you do as I request before it becomes a demand.” He leveled eyes full of rage on the man, and while he could tell that Kyle wanted to argue, he knew better. He valued the high dollar they paid for his advice and wasn’t ready to give up that kind of money.
Adjusting the lapels on the ridiculously pretentious suit jacket, he pivoted on his heel and exited. It was a good thing because, even weakened and injured, Jake was ready to spring from the bed and land a few blows to the man’s surgically enhanced face. The bastard was out on his ass as soon as Jake could find someone else to help him control rumors regarding the band and announce that there would be no more Cryptic.
He wanted to mourn the loss of the family he’d built over the last five years as they rose to fame, but he couldn’t even bring himself to think of his brothers in arms, of the horrible pain some had suffered and the untimely deaths of people he’d expected to have around for another several decades. It didn’t seem real.
And he would much rather consider the alternative future that seemed to hide just beyond the horizon, a future which now might include his dreams of love and real family with a woman he thought he’d never see again.
The intense joy in his chest when she’d agreed to think about his request nearly exploded, and for a moment, he was afraid someone would come and assume he’d had a heart attack as his monitors raced. But no one entered his room for hours after that last conversation with who he believed to be the woman of his dreams, and he’d been able to really fantasize. He’d put much of it into words, lyrics on a page. The notebook he’d started toiling in was quickly filling with new poetic expression, something he may actually be able to share with an audience in time. He’d never considered a solo project, but now, he knew better than ever that he could never continue the band without the heart and soul his friends had put into it. This hadn’t been his project; it had been a group effort.
He’d always thought he’d be finished with music should the band cease to be, but now, he realized that with the proper inspiration, such as he got every time he even looked at Sadie, he could easily transition into a completely different music career. He was a rocker at heart, and that wouldn’t change, but it would take a different direction with the sorts of heartfelt emotions Sadie evoked. Even now, he reached for the paper and pen, struggling with the pain it caused to write but mostly ignoring it in favor of looking for that one genius lyric that would clarify everything he wanted to say to the woman.
He knew she was gone for the day; her replacement nurse, a very young girl who obviously wasn’t as seasoned at the job, had come in, nervous and polite but clumsy in her anxiety. She was pretty and kind, but she wasn’t Sadie. It was disappointing for her to leave, but he tempered the reluctance to let her go with the fact that he knew she had to return and the ability to lay out his thoughts mostly uninterrupted.
Which only served to remind him of Kyle’s intrusion, his jaw clenched tight in his wrath at the man’s stoicism. He literally didn’t care about any of them. He could certainly learn a thing or two about compassion from Sadie.
The turn of his thoughts actually made Jake chuckle. Maybe he was slightly obsessed. After all, it seemed all roads led to Sadie. The musician in him wanted to play with that idea, and he hit the button on his morphine drip as the motion caused him more pain. He’d fight through it so he could work with the words, and when the medicine wore off, he’d read over his work to assure it made sense. After all, he wasn’t one for drugs, and he could only imagine what sort of lucidity he lost with the pain meds.
Still, it was a worthy way to spend his evening, as he waited to hear the backlash of press conference being held downstairs with a crowd that he could now hear plainly with their demands for information. Settli
ng back and closing his eyes for a moment, he let the words swirl, building and growing into a verse. When his eyes opened, he took to the pen and smiled, glad to have something familiar, something that would keep him calm and active.
Chapter 6
Sadie continued to smile politely across the dinner table at Rick, who seemed nice enough but kept eying her like he was trying to imagine her shape beneath the flowing dress she wore. Joan had been right. He and his cousin, Randy, who was her date, were both quite sexy, though for her own personal taste, Sadie would prefer someone a little less juiced. Between the strangely deep voices and the bulging muscles that barely managed to not rip the clothes they wore as they flexed with even small movement, it was obvious these ‘personal trainers’, as they called themselves, more than dabbled in steroid usage. She hadn’t become a nurse without understanding that natural anatomy couldn’t reach that level without a supplement.
Of course, Joan fawned all over Randy, who seemed just as taken with her. Meanwhile, Sadie got along just fine with Rick but felt dirty or oily when he tried to touch her. And the more time she spent listening to the conversation going on around her, the more she realized that she needed to be stimulated by someone on an intellectual level. It sounded a bit arrogant in her own mind, but Sadie was on a much higher intellectual plane than Rick. In fact, even in his compromised state, Jake still had the ability to stimulate her in a way this guy never could.
And the fact that her thoughts shifted in that direction irked her. She’d come out, not to create a lasting relationship with someone, but to have an experience with a nice, good looking guy and a close friend who could distract her from everything she’d been going through. And still, she couldn’t get her mind off a man she’d been able to stop thinking about for more than two years. It was maddening.
“Is everything okay, Sadie?” Joan’s voice, as well as a nudge under the table, brought Sadie back to the present. She turned, almost embarrassed at having let her mind drift, to look at Joan, who gave her a pointed stare. “You look like you’re a little far away.”
