"Listen, darlin'," Shane said, putting his arm around my waist. I leaned into him and gave Gemma a totally immature smirk. Oh well. I couldn't quite help myself. "We're with Arizona now and there's nothing you can do about that. If you come at us with Tuesday magic, we'll have to kick your pretty little ass to the curb."
"You don't understand," Gemma pleaded, steepling her hands together and using the classic girl move of putting her elbows against the sides of her tits so they squished together into a pretty line of cleavage. "There's a war brewing."
"Precisely what Daniel said," I smirked, standing up even straighter and throwing a look down my nose at her.
"Yes, well, Daddy can be a bit dramatic," Gemma said with a sniff. "We both must've inherited that from him. Lord knows Mom, Mother, Mama, Mommy, Matriarch, and Madre aren't like that."
I gawped at her again. At this point, I was going to start catching flies with my mouth hanging open all the time.
"You … have names for them?!" I asked and Gemma gave me a weird look.
"I was raised by them for several years," she said, blinking big, stupid eyes at me. “Before they went crazy and before I was … taken hostage." She glanced to the side and threw an arm up to shield her face.
I gritted my teeth.
"They raised you, huh? And we were twins supposedly? A claim I'm not entirely sure that I believe."
"It's true, Duckie," Grams said, popping up next to me and giving my bathing suit a look as she clutched her pearls. "You're twins. But there were too many prophecies, too many whispers of a horrible future. I had to save you."
"Save me?" I blurted and then quickly flicked my eyes to Gemma. Aw, shit, she was a spirit elemental, too! She could see fucking Gram. Wait. If my dad was a rare male spirit elemental … and I'd only ever met female spirits, then how did he manage to find one of each elemental for his harem?!
God, I was so confused.
"Who's this?" Gemma asked, gesturing in the ghost's direction with a certain amount of distaste.
"I'm the one who kept your parents from raising Ari just to drain her," Grams said, lifting her chin proudly. "They were so happy to have twins: one to raise as a protégé and one to suck the life out of."
"Yes, well," Gemma continued, glaring at my grandmother with her baby puke eyes, "did you ever think that you started the prophecy by stealing their infant from them and leaving them heartbroken? Perhaps they wouldn't have wanted to drain her if they'd actually been able to get to know her."
"Your parents are either sociopaths or psychopaths; I'm not sure which. If you for one second believe they have your best interests at heart, my dear, then you are sorely mistaken."
"They love me," Gemma growled, and I raised an eyebrow. Hmm. She seemed awfully attached to Daniel and his harem which made me wonder … was she in cahoots? And yeah, I totally used the word cahoots in a sentence without being ironic.
"You're working with the bio parents to start this war, aren't you?" I asked, even though I had no idea what 'this war' was about.
"Bio parents?" Gem asked, tossing silken waves over her shoulder. Her hair legit sparkled as she did it, too. "And no! I'm on Joan's side. I'm one hundred percent with COCS. In fact, I'm now in COCS."
"Aren't cocks supposed to go inside of you?" I joked, but then I thought about the fact that she was trying to usurp my six cocks from me and it made it way less funny. "And speak of the devil …" I murmured as Joan Copthorne appeared in a tasteful one-piece, looking waaaaay too young to be Reg's mother. She barely looked older than me and Gem.
"Well, hello Arizona," she said snidely, crossing her arms over her chest and sneering at me. "Fancy seeing you here."
"Fancy seeing that blue bottle jellyfish stuck to your leg," I said casually, pointing at the tiny creature, dark blue and about the size of my finger. It was attached to Joan's upper thigh, right below the curve of her emerald green bathing suit. Blue bottles weren't really that common in Surfer's Paradise (the beach we were at currently), but they weren't unheard of either. I was just glad a rare sighting of one happened to be when it was latched onto and stinging my mother-in-law.
She let out a shrill scream and collapsed dramatically to the sand, slapping her hand at it and wailing.
"It's stinging me!” she shrieked and I rolled my eyes.
"It wasn't until you started beating it!" I chastised as a man in swim trunks ran over to us.
"Crikey!” he said, in the most ridiculous country bumpkin accent I'd ever heard in my life. It was so clichéd and very … Crocodile Hunter that I had to roll my eyes a second time for good measure. "We best take care of that before you get Irukandji syndrome and die!" To be fair, the man was very enthusiastic about what he was saying.
"What?!" Joan asked, looking terrified as the man unbuttoned his pants and whipped out an admittedly enormous cock, uncircumcised and half-hard. It was an interesting moment to say the least. Shane clamped a hand over my eyes to shield me as Reg burst out of the water calling his mother's name. "What are you doing?" Joan yelled as the guy started … pissing on her wound.
It was old and not particularly accurate knowledge that piss cured/helped with jellyfish stings. In reality, a lot of those toxins were easily damaged by heat so hot water or warmth of any kind could lessen or nullify the pain. Piss just happened to be warm and so … the rumor was spread.
"Oh, it's working!" Joan said as I peeled Shane's hand off my face, freeing my eyes just as she started rubbing the urine into her leg. "It's working!"
I choked on a laugh as Gemma stared in abject horror, and Reg collapsed into the sand at his mother's side. He wasn't even trying to hide his laughter, and his mother was growing red in the face with … I assume anger, but if it had been me that for sure would have been embarrassment.
"Reginald, stop laughing! It's working!" she snapped, reaching out to slap him with her piss covered hand, but he neatly dodged it right at the last second.
"Don't touch me with that hand, Mom! I don't want random stranger piss on me!" He was laughing so hard the words were actually a bit hard to make out.
Just then, the seemingly never-ending stream of urine from Crocodile Dundee's dick tapered off and he shook his cock a couple of times, flinging droplets at Joan before tucking it back in his pants. No one really knew what the hell to say next as he stood there with a giant grin on his face, and Joan lay on the sand drenched in urine.
"Wait," George whispered beside me, "why was he half-hard when he whipped it out? Seems a bit odd, don't you think?"
"You're telling me," I scoffed back, "but it definitely ups the ick factor, right?"
"Totally," George murmured, then shuddered.
Croc Dundee was holding out a hand to Joan, offering to help her to her feet. "You all right as rain now, Sheila?"
"Who is Sheila?" Joan frowned, taking the offered hand and being tugged very abruptly to her feet. "My name is Joan."
This time I couldn't help my snicker as the, err, good Samaritan grinned. "Lovely to meet ya, Joan. But ah, Sheila just means woman."
"Oh," Joan sniffed, patting at her hair. Seriously? She's covered in piss and she's checking her updo hasn't slipped? "Well, thank you, kind sir. You undoubtedly saved my life just now. How can I ever repay you?"
"Ah, I'd settle for having you join me for a snag. I'd just chucked some on me barbie when I heard you in trouble. I'd better get back quick before they burn anyway." He grinned broadly again and nodded his head up the beach to where there were some public barbecues.
"A … snag?" Joan repeated, squinting. "What is this snag?"
"He means a sausage, Joan," I translated for her, while rolling my eyes. "Go with the man, it's considered very rude to turn down an offer of a snag on the barbie."
"I've got a couple of shrimp I can chuck on there, too, if that's more your speed, Sheila?" The man offered, eyeing up Joan with a whole lot of interest. Guess that explained why he was half-hard?
Without waiting for an answer, Outback Jack took Joan by t
he arm and began leading her over to the barbecues. She glared at us all in panic, then latched onto Gemma's arm at the last second to drag her along with her.
Thank fuck for that.
"Now, what were you saying about getting wet, Sugar Darlin'?" Shane turned back to me with a broad grin, and like magic, all thoughts of Joan and Gemma and men publicly urinating evaporated from my brain.
I knew Shane had said there was nothing to worry about, that they were with me for me and not because of some silly soulmate fated bond situation, but deep down I had a growing sense of dread. Just in case, I wanted to make the most of what might be our last day together …
Fuck, that was morbid. But you get what I meant.
"Hell yeah," I enthused. "Let's get wet!"
Waggling my rump at him suggestively, I ran through the shallows and dove through the breaking waves. When I resurfaced, it was with a mouthful of salt water and mascara burning my eyes like they'd been dipped in acid. What the fuck had I been thinking, putting on full makeup this morning?
"Shitting fuck balls ass and titties," I cursed, scrubbing at my eyes in a futile attempt to rub the offensive mascara away but probably only succeeding in smearing it all over my face like I was a die-hard KISS fan. "Motherfucker."
"Uh, yeah," Reg chuckled from somewhere nearby. I couldn't see where because my eyes were two burning pits of fiery lava. "Pretty sure that guy fully intended to become a motherfucker. Which is gross, by the way. My mom is like … a hundred and fifty."
"Ew, Reg, totally not wanting to picture your mum getting down and dirty with Steve Irwin back there!" I shuddered, then felt his strong fingers on my chin.
"Stay still, Sugar Tits," he murmured. The cool, wet sensation of water running over my face made me startle, then sigh with relief as I recognized it was fresh water, not salt.
How'd I know that? I stuck my tongue out to taste it. Duh.
Reg's thumbs smoothed over my face, washing away the black sludge before the water stopped. "You can open your eyes now, ST."
Cautiously, I did as he said, blinking rapidly and finding the burning sting totally gone!
"That was amazing." I beamed at him. "Thank you. But how did you get fresh water?"
Reg shrugged. "Water elemental, remember, ST? I just used some of this." He swished his hands in the moving water around us. "And desalinated it before directing it over your face."
"Huh." I nodded, suitably impressed. "That's a really cool trick."
A sly look slipped across his face and he winked at me. "You know what else is a cool trick?" I narrowed my eyes at him, but my unspoken question was answered almost immediately as the water around us tugged the flimsy strings of my bikini top undone.
"Well, that is a cool trick," I agreed, grabbing the scrap of hot pink fabric before it floated away from us. My tits were totally exposed now, and bobbing in the waves. Luckily it was a Tuesday, so the beach wasn't too packed.
"You like that?" Reg's mischievous grin said he had something more in store. "How about this?" He didn't move to touch me, at least not physically, but the water tightened around my nipples, tweaking them as sure as if they were Reg's own fingers.
My toes curled into the sand below us, and I moaned at the magical sensation. He wasn't done yet, as the ties on my barely-there bikini bottoms were pulled undone as well and a thick rush of water met my bare pussy.
"Holy shit, Reg," I gasped, and he grinned. "Wait, where are the other guys?"
"You want them to join us?" he teased. "It's not a very private place for another gang bang, but you know I'm up for anything, Sugar Tits."
I rolled my eyes and slapped him in the chest. "That's not what I meant. I just—oh …" My words cut short with a gasp as another thick jet of water penetrated me as sure as any hard dick, and my knees almost turned to jelly. Hell, if Reg hadn't caught me around the waist, I probably would have ended up half-drowned.
"I know, they're dealing with Mom. Just after you dived in, she came back screaming something about that dude and showing her his sausage." Reg's strong fingers caressed my back while his magical water dildo thrust in and out of me as if it were his cock.
Speaking of … My fingers found the waistband of Reg's board shorts and delved inside to grab a handful of his real equipment.
"Should we go back?" I asked, totally not wanting to, or even really having any intention to.
"Not until you come," he murmured back, his lips meeting my neck and sucking at the sensitive skin there. "Exactly as you are, with my magic fucking you."
Now, I was no psychologist. But something about the idea of being literally fucked by my husband's magic was a turn-on like nothing else. I gripped harder on his shaft, working him over with my hand and drawing a low groan from his throat, even as I saw him darting looks back to the shore.
Presumably, he was as worried about the Gemma and Joan situation as I was, but if keeping him here meant getting some seriously epic public sex today … well … worry away!
"Reg," I moaned, feeling myself reaching my climax, "go harder."
"Hell yeah, you dirty bitch," he responded, widening the girth of the magical water dildo and giving it a bit of … what was that? It wasn't vibration. It was … fizz? Did he seriously just carbonate my water dildo? Holy shit, magical husbands were the bomb!
"You like that?" he panted, nearing climax himself if the tightening of his balls in my hand were any indication. "How about if I add a bit more?"
Suddenly, there were water hands all over me. At least six pairs. All tweaking, caressing, stroking and squeezing. My nipples were stretched and twisted, my clit piercing was flicked, and a watery finger slipped right up my storm drain.
Needless to say, I came hard and fast.
So did Reg, I think. Good thing about being in the water, was the cum just got washed away! It made me realize I needed to make better use of that insanely renovated bathroom back at my house. Why was I constantly having my sheets messed up when we could just fuck in that to-die-for soaking tub?
"Miss, are you okay?" A stranger asked, paddling up to us on a board … and wearing the distinctive red and yellow cap and swimmers of the Surfer's Paradise lifeguards. "We could hear you screaming, and weren't sure if you were in trouble?"
Face flaming, I bent my knees slightly so my tits were below the water, and frantically looked around for my bikini. "Uh, yup. Totally fine! Sorry that last wave just really … took me by surprise, you know?"
Looking up at the guy, I gave him a tight smile. The smug look he gave me back said he knew exactly what I meant. "Did you lose these, by any chance?" he inquired, holding up a soggy handful of hot pink fabric. "They washed into the shallows a minute or two ago and a little girl handed them in to me."
Reg was no fucking help at all, as he shook with laughter and my face flamed even brighter. Lips pursed tight to save myself from further embarrassment, I took my swimmers back from the lifeguard and muttered a quick thanks.
After he'd paddled away, I whacked Reg with the sodden fabric. "Reg, what the fuck! If he hadn't brought my bikini back, then what would we have done? I'd have been starkers on fucking Surfer's Paradise in the middle of the damn day!"
"Aw, Sugar Tits," he teased. "I would have covered all your private bits with my hands if you'd needed me to."
Muttering curses at him under my breath, I retied my string bikini while severely regretting my choice in garments. Why hadn't I gone for a nice sensible one-piece like Joan?
Oh god. Ew. Did I actually just consider dressing like Joan?!
"Come on, babe," Reg snickered, grabbing me around the waist. "Let's see what fresh hell my mom is complaining about now." He paused, looking at me with a sly grin. "You have to admit … it was pretty damn awesome seeing her get pissed on, am I right?"
An evil sounding laugh chuckled out of me. "Yes it was. That is not something I'll be forgetting anytime soon."
"Good." He nodded, sweeping me up in his arms bridal style to carry me out of the water. Probab
ly a good thing too, considering I was still in post-orgasm jellyfish stage. Heh. Jellyfish.
"Wanna place a bet?" I asked quietly as we approached the rest of my husbands with Gemma and Joan shouting and waving their arms dramatically. "I reckon Crocodile Dundee whipped his dick out again."
"Hah, no way am I taking that bet," Reg barked a laugh. "I'd put money on it that he did do that. He was way too damn eager to start pissing on a random woman at the beach. That's pervert material right there."
"Takes one to know one," I teased. "After all, you did deliberately expose yourself to me when we first met."
Reg gaped at me, looking offended. "My elemental form, babe. Not my dick."
"Shane did," I muttered. Reg frowned for a moment and then shrugged.
“It’s big, and it’s tattooed, and it worked, right?”
I narrowed my eyes at him.
“If my mind wasn’t shrouded with post-coital bliss, I would give you a purple-nurple, and I’d make it hurt.” I reached out and mimed giving my new husband a serious titty-twister, but all he did was grin at me.
“I’d probably like it, to be honest with you,” he said, making me smile … for all of two seconds before we came up to Joan’s rampage and I frowned again. She was dramatically weeping into Shane’s shoulder and wailing about a giant sausage being shoved in her mouth. I was really upset too until I realized she was whingeing about the guy waving a plate full of sausages near her face. Like, literally that was all she was upset about. A plate of meat.
And here I was facing down a twin I’d never met and the possibility of losing some of the only people on the planet I’d have ever considered letting my guard down for. There was a reason I’d run back when Warden told me he loved me.
I was afraid.
Of a broken heart.
Totally cliché, I know, but I wasn’t a total emotional cucumber. I had … layers. At the very least, I had seeds of emotion inside of me.
Reg set me down in the sand and then hooked an arm around my waist. I opened my mouth to suggest we head back to my mum’s place—something I never thought I’d say—but at least it would be Joan and Gemma free, right? But then I noticed that Gemma was playing with something around her neck, a stone on a black thong. It glittered a glorious purple in the bright sunshine.
Elements of Desire Page 9
