Fuck. I hate flying.
I sat at the back of the plane while people whispered about me. The words they said were both negative and positive. It seemed like some of them felt my actions deserved to erase my past. I knew that wasn’t reality, but it was nice to hear. I tried to close my eyes and get some sleep, but the roar of the plane just wouldn’t let me rest.
I really hate flying.
The storm was gone, but there was enough turbulence in the air to make it bumpy. I looked out the window and saw the sprawling lights of the city below me. I never wanted to see so much overpopulation again, but I didn’t have a say in the matter.
“Come on.” One of the police officers took me by the arm when the plane came to a stop at the terminal.
The city appeared before me when we exited the airport. All the bright lights, the artificial colors, and the dulling of nature was just as awful as I remembered. And the air smelled like shit. It didn’t get any better in the six years I was away, and I certainly didn’t miss it for a moment. I caught a glimpse of a television screen and saw my ex-wife for the first time in years, talking to a reporter outside of the home we used to share together.
She was standing there with my replacement at her side. At least she did stay with him; it was the same guy I attacked. I couldn’t hear what they were saying but she seemed to be angry. She looked old with the shimmer of youth gone from her eyes. I didn’t see a single trace of the woman I once loved behind her hollow expression.
Damn. Life hasn’t been kind to you.
The caption at the bottom of the screen made it seem like a nationwide manhunt had been going on for six years, but I knew the truth. I was a forgotten man before I saved Heather. My actions had brought me back into the spotlight and it was the only reason they gave a damn about me or the charges that had been pending. I was basically hiding in plain sight, using my real name, and relying on the fact they didn’t care enough to look to stay out of jail.
Maybe that was a mistake.
After spending the night in a jail cell surrounded by drunks, I was taken to a small room to meet my lawyer. I hadn’t hired a lawyer, but I assumed someone had sent a public defender my way since I didn’t bother trying to get one. I could have afforded it for sure, but there didn’t seem to be a reason since it was pretty damn clear I was guilty.
“Mr. Black.” He entered the room. “I’m Amos Livingston.”
“Just let me plead guilty and get this over with.” I shook my head. “I’ve had enough of this circus.”
“Plead guilty?” He sat down at the table. “You obviously have no idea who I am.”
“You’re Amos Livingston.” I looked at him. “You just told me that.”
“Yes, I’m Amos Livingston...of Westbrook, Westbrook, and Livingston.” He opened his briefcase.
“Westbrook?” I leaned towards the table.
“Do you really think Heather’s father is going to let the man who saved his daughter serve a fucking day in prison? These motherfuckers are lucky he didn’t come out here himself and just start busting skulls.” He chuckled. “Legally, I’m not licensed to practice here, but that won’t be an issue because you’re about to walk out of here a free man.”
“How?” I narrowed my eyes at him, still a bit suspicious.
“These charges?” He threw papers on the table. “They’re all bullshit. You could drive a truck through their case. I know you haven’t been watching the news, but the people fucking love you. Women are praying they get lost in the snow just so you can save them. Men are wishing they had the balls to do what you did to that motherfucker.”
“I was young.” I shook my head. “It was stupid.”
“It was the heat of the moment. You were scorned. Who gives a shit, it’s been six years? Obviously, nobody gave a damn about finding you or they would have. You were living on land you owned before the incident happened, so it isn’t like you were hiding in fucking Mexico or something. Besides, everyone in Wolf Creek is ready to mobilize the town and come testify on your behalf. Your ex-wife wants nothing to do with this and her husband is ready to drop all charges. The last thing either of them wanted was to be caught up in this. As far as the public is concerned, they’re the bad guys now.” He pushed paperwork across the table.
“What’s this?” I looked down at the papers.
“Sign it and you’re a free man.” He folded his arms and smiled.
My freedom was in front of me. I flipped through the paperwork and tried to comprehend what it said. It was all sorts of legal talk with words I didn’t totally understand. After I finished flipping through them the first time, I had to start over at the beginning and try to really read it.
Why can’t they print this in fucking English?
It basically stated that I wouldn’t talk about anything that occurred between my ex-wife, her new husband, and myself. I would be bound by a confidentiality clause, because they didn’t want to be brought into the discussion. There was talk about book deals, television, and other stuff, basically stating that if any of it happened, I had to avoid all mentions of them. I was free to discuss anything that happened after I got to Wolf Creek, but nothing that happened before it.
Wow. Leave it to my ex-wife to just take a scorched earth approach to our past.
My life before that moment was pretty much erased. I couldn’t discuss the divorce, the reason for the divorce—hell I couldn’t even talk about my previous marriage. I couldn’t mention that she cheated on me. I couldn’t mention that the guy I caught her with was fucking her while we were married. It was clear that they wanted out of the spotlight and wanted to trade anything to get it. There was a time when I would have been more than willing to sign such an agreement, but there was something that didn’t sit right.
“No.” I shook my head.
“Seriously?” He unfolded his arms and placed them on the table. “Do you realize how hard it was to get that agreement put together in one day? They’re willing to drop everything! The District Attorney has agreed not to press charges, even though he can, because they won’t testify!”
“You’re my lawyer, right?” I looked up at him.
“Yes sir.” He nodded. “And as your lawyer—”
“Get your pen out.” I tossed the paper on the table, interrupting his sentence.
For the next hour, we carefully wrote down my terms. I wasn’t going to run from my problems. I was guilty. I was guilty of assaulting the motherfucker, and I wanted that to be known. It had to be public record. I wanted the accountability and if that meant prison, I would do the time.
If they wanted to avoid testimony, the price for that was my freedom, but there was no way I would let the past be completely erased. I knew it was foolish pride, but there was no way I was just going to pretend none of that ever happened to please them. I had no intentions of ever giving an interview, or talking to the press, so that part was fine, but they weren’t going to just pretend I never existed.
I didn’t feel like it was too much to ask for. I wanted to be left alone and I wanted to live in my cabin away from it all, but they didn’t get to decide who I was. My lawyer didn’t seem happy with the terms, especially when I had to be led back to my cell, but the next day I got word they agreed to what I outlined without question.
I talked with the District Attorney and entered my guilty plea, but since there was no testimony, they declined to prosecute it. A few hours later, I was sitting in first class on a plane heading back to Wolf Creek.
Fuck it. I might as well splurge since it’s the last time I’ll ever be on one.
“You’re him, aren’t you?” A stewardess moved her cart towards my seat. “You’re Shane Black.”
“Yes.” I sighed. “Can I get a whiskey?”
“Of course, absolutely.” She poured it into a glass and handed it to me.
“So, tell me...” She leaned in. “You didn’t spend all that time in your cabin just staring at the fire, right?”
“What do you mea
n?” I asked.
“I mean...” She winked. “You and that girl? Have you heard what people are saying?”
“A gentleman doesn’t tell.” I finished my glass of whiskey in one gulp. “Can I have another?”
“Sure...” She poured another one and put it in front of me. “Well just so you know, I’m hoping there’s more to the story.”
You and me both, but that doesn’t seem possible anymore.
T HE PLANE LANDED AND I got a cab back to Wolf Creek. I could have gotten one of the locals to drive me up the mountain, but I just had the cab drop me off at the bottom. I felt like I needed to walk and clear my head a little bit in the beauty of nature before I got to my cabin. The snow was mostly melted but the storm wouldn’t be our last taste of winter. I could already smell another one coming, but it didn’t seem like it would be as bad.
Too bad there won’t be a beautiful blonde goddess to keep me warm.
It felt good to be out in the woods when I started up the mountain and I didn’t care if it was going to take a while to get there. When I saw the cabin on the horizon, I was immediately met with a sense of relief. The years I had spent there wondering if there would ever be a time when I had to face the things I had done in the past were over. I was a free man and I was free on my own terms. There was a time when that mattered more than anything. The hands of fate had stepped in and gave me a chance to do that and I had Heather to thank for it.
I opened the door to my cabin and walked inside, immediately starting a fire. The bottle of whiskey on the counter called my name, but I didn’t even need a glass—I was definitely finishing the bottle. I sat down in my chair and lit a cigar as I unscrewed the top of the whiskey.
“Here’s to freedom...” I muttered to myself and took a drink.
The fire roared, the smoke rose from my cigar, and the whiskey settled into my veins. Everything should have been perfect. I was exactly where I had wanted to be with all the weights my past put on me finally lifted, but something was missing. Heather was missing.
She was immediately on my thoughts, consuming them in an instant. I had planned to make her mine and I had planned to do anything to accomplish it. I had no idea we would become celebrities. The world had nothing better to talk about in the wake of the storm, so they forced us into a role that neither of us really asked for.
I turned on the television and cringed when I saw the news still covering the story. It had been dramatized and exaggerated. They made it seem like she was frozen, to the point of death, and I spent the days nursing her back to health just so she could return to her family.
The real story is a lot better, trust me...
There were shots of her with them, the loving embrace of her parents, the cheers of her friends—everyone seemed so incredibly happy. When the image of Heather flashed on the screen, I saw something in her eyes. They reflected the same sense of loss that was present in mine.
I miss you too.
Chapter 11: Heather
My parents were so happy to see me. My friends acted like it was a miracle I survived the storm. There were tears and questions, but I tried to dance around them. I really didn’t want to talk about any of it. I just wanted to hide in my room until everything was forgotten.
The news made a big deal of the story, and I was in shock when I heard them spin our story to be one that continued to push headlines. My situation was never as dire as they painted it, but it would have been if Shane hadn’t saved me. They seemed to be willing to overlook his past because of his heroism, but the words I heard bothered me.
He wasn’t just a hermit in the mountains. He was hiding from the things he had done. It made me sick to my stomach to see him in handcuffs, but his crime didn’t sit right with me. There were a lot of conflicting stories—some even suggested the man might have been with his wife prior to the divorce, but there was no evidence to support it without Shane himself saying it was true. The injuries claimed by the man he hit sounded a little exaggerated to say the least.
I had to admit that I didn’t understand the situation and I couldn’t exactly ask Shane about it. I waited until my parents were asleep and I walked out to the back porch with a glass of wine. I just needed to feel something besides the melancholy of my own thoughts and the buzz would remind me of my time with Shane. As soon as I got the glass to my lips, I heard the door open behind me.
“Daddy.” I groaned. “I thought you were asleep.”
“It’s okay Heather. I’m not here to judge you for a glass of wine.” He waved off my transgression. “You’re an adult now and after what you went through, I’m just happy you’re alive.”
“Thank you...” I muttered. “The news is making it so much more than it was.”
“They get paid to do that.” He sat down beside me and put an arm around me. “It’ll be over soon. There will a Kardashian mishap or a rapper will slap his girlfriend and then you’ll be old news.”
“It just sucks.” I shook my head and sat down my glass of wine. “Shane doesn’t deserve to be arrested for helping me.”
“He was arrested for what he did long before he met you. The news story made a big deal out of it, but it’s hard to know how you would react if you aren’t in that situation. I can’t even imagine what I would do to any man that was stupid enough to climb into your mother’s bed while I wasn’t home—there would be hell to pay, that’s for sure. Shane will be fine.” He patted my arm and smiled.
“How do you know?” I raised my eyebrows at him.
“There’s no fucking way Shane is going to jail after he saved my baby girl. I sent Amos to deal with those assholes.” His brow furrowed with a hint of anger.
“Wait...” I pulled away. “Are you serious?”
“You’re damn right.” He nodded. “The man is a hero and he saved your life. Amos will have him out of jail tomorrow. I promise.”
“You’re amazing...” I shook my head. “Thank you so much.”
“From what Amos has heard, Shane’s ex-wife wants this to be over. They don’t want to drag any of the past up.” He shrugged. “I can’t say I blame them. It has been six years.”
“Yeah...” I nodded.
“Don’t stay up too late.” He leaned over and kissed me on the forehead.
There was a time when my father would have lost every bit of his cool if he walked outside and saw me with a glass of wine. It was clear that he saw me in a different light after the ordeal. I was no longer his little girl, the one he had to look after. I had grown up and I made mistakes, but I had gotten lucky because Shane was there to save me. Shane had shattered the veil of innocence that made me a child.
I was a woman in his arms. Once my father was back inside, I picked up my wine glass and kept drinking. I liked the peace and quiet of the evening, but it was nothing like the peace I felt in the mountain cabin with Shane. It was easy to admit I missed him, but hard to do anything about it.
I hoped my father was telling the truth when he said that Shane wouldn’t have to do time because of his crimes. The man that had existed six years ago was clearly not the man who came down the mountain just to keep me from freezing to death.
I would never be able to thank him enough and I would never forget him, even if our lives never came together again. It hurt to think about that, but I knew life had to go on.
I miss you.
M Y CELEBRITY STATUS faded when classes started. I got the window replaced in my car, but it never really ran the same again. It made me late for class a couple of times and I had no choice but to trade it in. My father was willing to get me a new car, but I didn’t really care about having anything fancy.
I settled for an old Toyota that promised good gas mileage instead of the BMW he tried to push on me. I faded into the scenery of school, not really caring much about the parties on the weekend or getting wasted with my friends. I just wanted to finish school and leave it behind.
I often thought of Shane. Sometimes it was over a glass of wine at the end of the
day and sometimes it was long nights alone in my bed, imagining the things we did when we were together. I had no idea if he even thought about me, but I knew I could never forget him—I didn’t want to forget him.
God, I miss having you inside of me.
A YEAR PASSED AND THE winter winds blew through Tennessee again. A storm was on the horizon, but it was nothing like the one I faced the previous year when I met Shane. They said that one was once in a lifetime. They didn’t know how true those words really were.
“You really won’t come to the mountains with us this year?” One of my friends, Amelia, nudged my arm as she walked beside me.
“I think I’ve had enough mountain vacations to last a lifetime.” I shook my head.
“We’ll give you directions.” She laughed. “Hell, you can ride with us this time.”
“I think I’ll just spend my winter break at home.” I shrugged and shook my head. “I’d prefer not to risk it.”
“Have you heard from him at all?” She asked. “The guy that saved you.”
“No, he doesn’t really have a phone.” I sighed. “He probably doesn’t want to hear from me anyway since I got him arrested.”
“Damn, he was hot.” She raised her eyebrows a couple of times. “I’d love to get trapped in a cabin with him for a few days.”
“He was a gentleman.” I said, although technically it was a lie.
“I wouldn’t want him to be a gentleman.” She licked her lips. “You missed out.”
“Yeah, I guess...” I shrugged.
I didn’t miss out on anything—I had every inch of him inside of me.
She had no idea what it was really like at that cabin—nobody did except for the two of us that spent time there. The chill of winter was in the air and the cold made me think of him. I had thought time would separate me from those feelings, but it hadn’t done anything to pause the longing I felt when he crossed my mind. When he entered my thoughts, my heart shuttered. When the thoughts got a little hotter, I got so wet and excited I had to satisfy myself just to maintain my sanity.
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