From what Cara had seen of Kate and Ben’s love for their daughter earlier she very much doubted that. But who was she to judge? Her own mother had obviously found motherhood a trial.
‘You don’t like being a mother?’
Kate looked startled. ‘No. I mean, yes.’ She laughed. ‘I’ve given you the wrong impression. I love being a mother. No, I’m just so curious. I’ve never seen Aidan so off-stride and I think you and I are going to be firm friends in the future.’ She lowered her voice. ‘Did you really meet when Aidan bet on you in a poker game?’ She shivered. ‘I know the papers played it up as sordid, but secretly I found the whole thing terribly romantic.’
If only, Cara thought. Then she remembered Aidan’s earlier reaction about her behaving as his ‘partner’ for the time she was on the island and Cara wondered if he would want her to pretend that their relationship was something it wasn’t to Kate.
On some level it felt wrong to lie, and yet if she told Kate the truth she would know that all the times Aidan had refilled her water glass for her over lunch without asking and ordered her coffee just the way she liked it while she had been in the bathroom had been nothing but a sham.
Glancing over at Aidan deep in conversation with a small group of men she was instantly taken by how tall and sexy he was in another superbly cut suit, his strong thighs and wide shoulders accentuated rather than diminished by his clothing. She had a brief moment of wondering what he would look like naked and her breath caught. Would he have hair on his chest, or not? Would his abdominal muscles really be as defined as they had felt the other night on the sofa?
The almost-kiss they’d shared outside jumped to the front of her mind. The way he’d looked at her. For a moment she had sensed that he had wanted her as much as she wanted him and the realisation had made her want to throw caution to the wind and forget that their values weren’t aligned. Forget that he would never want her after he’d slept with her.
As if sensing her gaze he glanced over at her and raised his chin ever so slightly as if asking if she was okay. She knew her face had flushed as if she’d just been caught with her hand in the silver drawer and she ducked her head, deciding that she would keep her story to Kate as close to the truth as she could.
‘No, we didn’t actually meet then,’ she informed Kate slowly. ‘We sort of met when we ran into each other at the airport.’
Kate leaned her elbows on the table. ‘Do tell.’
‘It’s not that exciting. I was trying to find my phone in my bag and stepped into Aidan’s path and then my shoe broke.’
‘And he stopped to help you.’
‘Yes. We, ah, talked.’ He thought I was a hooker. I thought he was horrible. ‘And then he gave me a lift into town.’ Kind of. ‘And it just sort of went from there…. ’ And please don’t ask me about the time frame because then you’ll know this is all just a ruse.
But Kate didn’t ask. She just sat back in the teak dining chair and sighed. ‘It sounds very romantic. Ben and I met by chance, as well. He was a guest lecturer at the university I was studying at and I had decided not to go to the lecture—imagining that this corporate ass was coming to patronise the little people—and at the last minute I turned up. It was love at first sight for us, too.’
‘Oh, it’s not love at first sight for Aidan and me,’ Cara sputtered.
Kate touched her hand. ‘It’s obvious you’re both completely smitten. You can’t keep your eyes off each other.’
Embarrassed that she had been caught out, and sure that Kate was referring to her more than Aidan, she smiled gratefully as Kate’s toddler wandered over and nearly stuck ice-cream-covered hands all over Kate’s designer skirt.
Before Cara could warn her about the impending disaster Kate grabbed the child’s hands and held them aloft as she tickled her daughter with her other hand. ‘You little rascal. Go do that to Daddy.’
‘Daddy work.’
‘Yes.’ Kate threw Cara a conspiratorial glance. ‘Go to Uncle Aidan. He’s always got time for his goddaughter’s sticky hands. Go and show him.’
Kate gave Cara an impish grin as they watched the tiny girl in a pink-spotted dress toddle up to Aidan and tug on his jacket.
Cara was mesmerised, wondering how he would react, watching avidly as he glanced down and automatically scooped the little girl into his arms, completely oblivious to the disaster being rendered on his jacket. When Ben nudged him, Aidan glanced down at the creamy smear near his shoulder. Ben grabbed a napkin from a nearby table and wiped the little girl’s hands and Cara’s heart jumped against her ribs when both men grinned instead of growing angry.
And from there it was impossible to prevent herself from imagining what it would be like to have a child with a man like that. What it would feel like if they were a real couple. She was very much afraid it would feel a lot like love. For her, anyway …
And who’s to say it couldn’t be? she thought.
Love happened when you least expected it, didn’t it? Why was she so certain that it could never happen for her?
The little girl had the same caramel-coloured hair as Aidan and could almost be his daughter. She heard Kate giggle beside her and glanced at Ben just in time to catch the look of retribution he threw at his wife.
Cara didn’t even try to hold in her smile. Now that was true love, she thought, unable to swallow past the lump in her throat.
She watched as Emma squirmed out of Aidan’s arms and then rushed back to throw herself at her mother. Kate scooped her up and landed kisses all over her soft cheeks.
For Cara family didn’t involve parents. It involved only her adored siblings. It had been Lucilla and Antonio who had changed her nappies and fed her when her constant crying had sent another nanny running to a different job. It had been Orsino who had put Band-Aids on her elbows and knees when she’d tried to follow the twins up the side of Chatsfield House in a game of cops and robbers. It had been Lucca who had helped her through her art courses. It had been Nicolo who had pulled the cigarette from her fourteen-year-old lips after she’d returned home from boarding school and told her he’d beat her senseless if he ever caught her smoking again. And it had been Franco who taught her how to avoid the media—not that she’d learned that lesson very well.
In her deepest, most cherished dreams, though, this was what a real family looked like. A man and a woman who loved each other enough to push through any bad times, and a child they adored beyond comprehension.
The four Fijian guitarists entertaining the dwindling lunch crowd out on the wide deck were superb. Aidan folded his arms as Emma reached up to take Cara’s hands so she could spin her in yet another dizzy circle on the dance floor.
‘She’s nice,’ Ben commented. ‘Different from what I thought she would be, though don’t hit me for saying that.’
Aidan glanced at Ben. ‘Why would I hit you for saying that?’
Ben shrugged. ‘I’d clock any man I thought was making a derogatory comment about Kate.’
Aidan didn’t want to reply to that because it had been his first reaction, as well.
He wondered what Ben would think if he told him how Cara had commandeered his car and allowed herself to be used as a stake in a game of poker. Then he realised that he no longer cared about all that.
Instead he had been contemplating how she had struck up an easy rapport with the islanders and even had the schoolchildren braiding her hair. It was true that the islanders were incredibly friendly, but most were quite shy, and didn’t easily permit intimacies such as touching. That thought brought to mind the look they had shared after lunch. The soft glow of her face had reminded him of how beautifully flushed she had been in his arms the other night. How her flesh had leaped at his touch with a hunger that seemed to match his own. And then outside earlier, when he’d nearly given in to temptation once again in full view of anyone walking past.
Hell.
He swiped a hand through his hair and acknowledged that his current edginess was as much fr
om sexual frustration as anything else.
Watching her dancing wasn’t doing anything to improve things, either, and he turned his back on her and stuck his hand in his pocket.
His hand came into contact with the carefully handwritten notes she’d made about the school building and he pulled them out. He’d pocketed them with just a cursory glance before and he felt a little guilty now. Sending her on a fool’s mission hadn’t been his finest moment and he hadn’t expected her to put any real effort into the task.
As if reading his mind Ben interrupted his thoughts. ‘Kate said that you sent Cara to check out the school earlier, but you do know we have a surveyor coming next week, right?’
‘Yeah, I know,’ Aidan replied. ‘I was just giving her something to do to keep her out of the way.’
Unfortunately the guitarists chose that moment to end their set and Aidan heard a small gasp behind him and knew instantly who it was and that she had heard him.
He turned slowly and felt like the lowest life form on earth as Cara quickly tried to mask her hurt expression.
‘Excuse me, I have to …’ Her voice trailed off and she spun around and walked quickly across the terrace.
Ben pulled a sympathetic face. ‘You’re in the doghouse tonight, my friend.’
Which would probably be the best place for him, Aidan acknowledged silently, that way he wouldn’t be tempted to do something his instinct warned him away from every time he saw her.
Hell.
As she disappeared around a clump of dark green rubber plants that separated the beach from the resort path he heaved a massive sigh that spoke volumes of his inner turmoil.
Part of him wanted to rush after her while another, more saner part warned him to back off. Warned him that he wasn’t himself right now and that it would be better to put some distance between them. That running after her now would send her entirely the wrong message. That it might make her feel more important than she was.
Even so, he’d already taken a step in her direction; the urge to follow her was that strong. The realisation stopped him and his vacillation was testament to the battle raging inside of him.
He didn’t want to want to go after her. He didn’t want to want her this much at all. He wanted order back in his life.
Neatness.
Purpose.
And the girl with the pink hair and long legs would not bring that. She’d bring passion, disorder, emotion—all things that were a sign of weakness. And try as he might he couldn’t find a logical reason for the all-consuming lust he felt for her.
That’s because there isn’t one.
Or was there?
He’d made her forbidden fruit, hadn’t he? Off-limits. He’d always been a person who thrived on challenges and he’d damned well challenged himself when he’d decided to ignore what lay between them as thick and annoying as mosquitos at a lake on a summer’s day.
Tell a person not to think of a pink elephant and what did they do? Think of a pink elephant. Tell a man he couldn’t sleep with a desirable woman with pink hair and a face like a goddess and what did he want …?
Aidan grinned. Relief flooded him and he blew out a long breath. He felt settled again. Lighter. He eased his shoulders away from his ears. No crick. His grin widened. Finally, he felt like himself again. Back in control.
One more day and then vamoose; she’d return to her world and he’d return to his. For Aidan, restoring balance back into his life couldn’t come quickly enough.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
‘WHY ARE YOU PACKING?’
Cara threw her nightie into her case and sniffed back the angry tears that threatened to spill over. She hadn’t heard Aidan come in and she’d like to pretend that he still hadn’t. But she was done with crying in front of him. Done with crying because yet another man found her lacking.
Of all the times she’d been rejected in her life it shocked her to realise that this one somehow hurt the most. Probably because she’d been having such a nice time at lunch and Aidan had once again lulled her with his kind gestures towards her.
Acting, she thought flatly, for his friends.
Stupid. She’d let her guard down with him. Again! For a moment she had even liked him. Well, she corrected herself, she had liked his body. Because how could it be anything else when he was still the arrogant man who had tried to give her fifty dollars for her broken shoe at the airport? The same man who had demanded she strip for him in his hotel room and then who had held her so tenderly. Had kissed her so—
Enough.
No more thinking about kissing Aidan Kelly. It had left her looking like a fool more than once.
And she should be glad she’d found out how little he regarded her before anything more happened between them because, while it might be scorching hot, it would only be temporary and would no doubt end in heartache. Her heartache.
What she should have done was stick to her original plan to hide out at her agent’s house in L.A. Not that Aidan had given her much of a choice, but dammit, he was right; she had to stop letting him push her around. And she would this time.
Not that he would probably try and stop her from leaving. He’d probably be glad to see the back of her. That would explain his inconsistent behaviour towards her. He didn’t really want her around.
‘I was just giving her something to do to keep her out of the way.’
He and Christos both. He and her father. Not that her father had ever given her something to do. Rather he just sent her to boarding school and then left her at the Chatsfield House with the servants during holidays.
Oh, her siblings had been there over the years, but they had been a lot older and they’d had their own lives to lead and Cara hadn’t wanted to bother them with her concerns and feelings of inadequacy. That should have been her mother’s role.
She thought about Kate and her small daughter over lunch. The way Kate had scooped Emma up in her arms and smooched the little girl’s neck until she’d collapsed into peals of laughter.
Tears formed behind Cara’s eyes and she wondered where her mother was right now. What she was doing. She had been relatively young when she had walked out on Cara and her siblings. Did she have another family now? Another child she had adored more than her?
‘I asked you a question.’
Aidan’s gruff interruption thankfully wrecked her train of thought and she hardened her heart and kept packing. ‘Go away.’
She felt like she was made of wood. Aidan didn’t want her. He didn’t even like her. His lack of respect when he’d spoken to Ben had been palpable. ‘I’m going home.’
‘You said that was the worst place for you.’
‘Well, now I’ve decided that here is.’
‘I’m sorry I hurt you.’
She shrugged and sniffed. ‘I’m surprised you noticed.’
‘I noticed.’
Cara didn’t respond to that. It didn’t mean anything. Even a blind insect would have noticed her distress. ‘Congratulations.’
‘Cara, I’d like you to stay.’
Surprised by the sincerity in his voice, Cara turned towards him. He had his hands deep in his pockets and he looked … pensive.
‘Why?’
‘I promised you a couple of days respite and I feel like you haven’t really had that.’
‘And you always keep your promises.’
It wasn’t a question but he answered it anyway. ‘Yes.’
She shook her head. ‘You made me feel horrible. Even worse than Christos did. At least I expected it from him.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘That word is becoming overused between us.’
‘Yes.’ He shifted uncomfortably. ‘I hadn’t thought about how to deal with questions about you.’
‘You hadn’t! How do you think I felt?’ Cara cried. ‘I spent a good amount of time convincing Kate—who I really like, by the way—that this was real between us. She’s going to think I’m either a terrible liar or completely deluded.’
‘Why did you do that?’
‘Because earlier you told me to conduct myself as your partner and … It doesn’t matter.’
She felt stupid.
Confounded at having found her half packed, Aidan was at a loss. ‘I didn’t mean what I said to Ben.’ Cara wouldn’t look at him and Aidan took a deep breath. ‘What I said was inconsiderate.’
‘But true.’
Aidan closed his eyes. ‘If you must know I sent you to the school because I didn’t want you sitting around on the beach all day by yourself.’ Especially after he’d seen that sexy tattoo that should have been for his eyes only.
She looked over at him, her grey eyes shiny with unshed tears. ‘What could possibly go wrong with me sitting on a beach? You said yourself that there were no paparazzi and—’
‘It wasn’t that.’ He gritted his teeth. ‘I saw you in that bikini and I knew I’d never concentrate while I imagined every surfer on the island trying to come on to you.’
‘Why wouldn’t you concentrate?’
Aidan thought about answering that truthfully. Thought about admitting that she had somehow gotten under his skin and that every time he was in spitting distance of her it was all he could do not to touch her.
He thought about telling her that for about five seconds and then he went for the other answer. The safe one. Because why open a tin of worms when he wasn’t sure yet what he would find inside?
‘You’re my guest and therefore my responsibility,’ he said obliquely.
Her eyes met his briefly and then she turned back to the cases on the bed and kept packing.
Aidan felt like throwing his hands in the air. What had she expected him to say? That he wanted to protect her? Wanted to look after her? That he was jealous? ‘Look, I’m not myself right now,’ he growled.
‘Why not?’
He took a deep breath. ‘I don’t want to get into it but—’
‘Is it Martin Ellery? I heard Ben mention him over lunch and you didn’t look the same from then on.’
Aidan felt dull colour leach into his face. He thought he’d hidden his reaction to the news that Martin Ellery was making noises about fighting him for the TV rights to the AFL—the biggest TV contract in Australia and the one jewel in his father’s crown that Ellery hadn’t snatched away fourteen years ago.
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