Table of Contents
Title Page
A Note from the Author
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Five
Chapter Thirty-Six
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Chapter Forty
Chapter Forty-One
Chapter Forty-Two
Chapter Forty-Three
Chapter Forty-Four
Chapter Forty-Five
Chapter Forty-Six
Chapter Forty-Seven
Chapter Forty-Eight
Revive
Copyright © 2017 by Mary A. Wasowski
Cover Design by RE Creatives/Mindy Guerreiros
Editing by Joe Marron
Formatting by JT Formatting
All rights reserved.
Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products, bands, and/or restaurants referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.
License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
To friendship and comradery.
Table of Contents
Title Page
A Note from the Author
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Five
Chapter Thirty-Six
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Chapter Forty
Chapter Forty-One
Chapter Forty-Two
Chapter Forty-Three
Chapter Forty-Four
Chapter Forty-Five
Chapter Forty-Six
Chapter Forty-Seven
Chapter Forty-Eight
Chapter Forty-Nine
Chapter Fifty
Epilogue
Coming Soon
Acknowledgments
Other Books by Mary A. Wasowski
About the Author
Thank you, readers, for taking time to read Revive. Please consider leaving an honest review. They are always welcomed and appreciated.
Present day – September 11th
I parked my rental car outside of the home I grew up in, a home that held so many happy memories for me until the day it didn’t—September 11, 2001. Not only did my life change that day, but the entire world did too. It had been fifteen years since then, and all I had to do was close my eyes and I was back there on that day, every detail forever etched in my memory. I don’t believe you could really get over something so life-changing. You just found new ways to cope with the loss and move on with your life the best way you knew how.
As I continued to stare at my childhood home, my mind drifted back to another time when I thought I was happy and I knew who I wanted to spend my life with. But not every story worked out the way it appeared in your dreams. I was all grown up, and yet I was still trapped by the pains of my past, living with regret from the choices I made. My mom used to tell me that life was a series of chapters. You could only move on if you turned the page. Had I truly done that with mine?
Today marked another anniversary, and I promised my mother that I would be here today with her. But I was sitting here in my car, staring back at a structure that didn’t feel like home anymore. When I was younger, I thought it was so big, and now it just looked small. My mom always kept a beautiful bed of flowers on each side of the front porch. Of course, a Blessed Mother statue encased in glass was set high on a stone foundation, where she kept a protective eye over our home. A bird feeder hung from a shepherd’s hook that mom placed near the myrtle tree in the front yard. The porch had a simple patio set where mom could sit and read her paper while enjoying her morning coffee.
My eyes scanned the property again and our neighbor’s homes, and I still felt nothing. I left home after completing my graduate program in communications. I wasn’t planning on leaving New York, but not everything goes according to plan. The ones I had in place sure didn’t, and for Nick, my boyfriend at the time, his aspirations also did not. On the night of our graduation party, Nick announced his plans in front of our entire neighborhood, even though he hadn’t bothered to tell me first. His news left me stunned and then later, completely broken. I wanted to run as far away as I could, and I did. I lived in Los Angeles for the past decade, working my dream job at ABC, producing primetime news and special documentaries. I loved my job, and it kept me constantly busy, working at the speed of light, helping me forget what I left behind.
But somehow while sitting here at my hometown, the memories were creeping back of the graduation celebration…
“Okay, people, listen up. My boy over here has a big announcement to make, and he needs your att
ention,” our friend Tony yelled over the crowd.
I watched in anticipation along with our friends thinking, this is it! Nicholas Bartelli, love of my life since freshman year of high school, is going to propose right here in front of the entire block. My friends held my hand and squealed with happiness.
“Shhh, let him talk,” I said in Trudie’s ear. She nudged me with her shoulder and made me promise that I make her Matron of Honor, or our friendship was over.
“Yes, you can have anything you want! Now, be quiet,” I hissed.
I waited with bated breath, and then Nick climbed up onto the table, commanding everyone’s attention, especially mine. He blew me a kiss and mouthed “I love you” before beginning his speech.
“Let me begin by saying thank you to our beautiful mothers, Stella and Frannie. You are amazing and strong women who not only took care of us day and night, but all of us kids in our close-knit neighborhood. Please, friends, put your hands together for our moms.”
The applause was as loud as a fireworks display on the Fourth of July. Our moms were crying and hugging each other.
He continued, “Okay, now back to why I am standing on a table. You all knew our fathers, Nick Sr. and Bobby, two outstanding FDNY firefighters who will forever be our heroes. They sacrificed their lives to save others, and if I didn’t know it at the time, then I certainly know today how their lesson in sacrifice pushed me to work so hard in high school and college, to leave with this degree in hand and to move forward towards my next goal.”
“Come on, Nick! The suspense is killing us,” shouted Tony.
“Okay, cool your jets. I’m getting there. So…I have something here that has been burning a hole in my pocket since yesterday, and now I am finally ready to share it with my girl, Thea, and with the rest of you.”
There was more applause and cheers for Nick. I was so excited but was getting a little impatient. Trudie was gripping my hand so hard, I thought she was going to break it.
“Relax,” I told her, “I will be an engaged woman in the next 60 seconds.”
“I can’t help it, you two are a walking love story. I am so happy for you,” she said, still crushing my hand.
“Me too,” I smiled back.
I watched Nick pull something out of his jacket, and it was definitely not a ring box or anything that closely resembled a symbol of being engaged to be married. Instead, it was a white envelope.
Nick announced, “As of yesterday, you are looking at a future FDNY firefighter for the great city of New York, and today in front of all our friends and family, I’d like to declare that my goal is to make Battalion Fire Chief in the next ten years and sit behind the very desk where my beloved father proudly did his job. Like my father, and my grandfather before him, I will serve this community and the great city of New York with pride, respect, and integrity. Thank you for your love, support, and prayers as I begin—no, we begin—the next chapter of our lives. I love you, baby.”
My first thought: What. The. Fuck.
He shouted out to me, and before I could even respond, he was flanked by our mothers, friends, and pretty much everyone in attendance, except for me. I lost my voice and had no words to say. Trudie and my girlfriends all seemed to be stunned by his news, but no one was more shocked than me.
I felt as if the wind had just been knocked out from me, I could not breathe. I watched in silence as everyone congratulated and hugged Nick. How could he and I be so happy a few moments ago, and now I felt as if we were complete strangers? He never told me that he was going to apply to the fire academy. This was not our plan.
When he finally found me, I was past the point of shock. I was fucking enraged and felt betrayed by him. He kept this from me, and as I watched him come closer to me, I felt as if I didn’t know him anymore. It all changed in that moment, and he was a completely different person to me now.
“Hey, baby, there you are,” he said. “Why are you standing here by yourself? I turned around, and you were gone.”
I pulled away from his hold and crossed my arms over my chest. I did this when I needed to feel safe, and standing in front of him now, I felt everything but safe.
He pressed, “Hey, what’s wrong? Come on, T. Please talk to me. Have I done something to upset you?”
His question evoked an eruption of feelings that came close to a volcano exploding. I at least took a minute to scan the area to make sure we didn’t have an audience, not that I cared at that point.
I said, “Nick, you can’t be serious. Please tell me that announcement back there was not real, just a big joke to laugh about, and then we move on.”
“Baby, I am far from joking. How could you believe for one second that this was not what I wanted to do in my life? Our fathers were firefighters; it’s all I ever wanted to be. Your reaction is not what I expected, T. What is wrong with you?”
“You want to know what’s wrong with me. How about you getting up in front of our family and our friends and announcing something so monumental that you did not give a rat’s ass how I felt about it? Why Nick? Why? You never told me about applying, so how could you do this to me and to us?”
“T, first of all, I didn’t do anything to you nor to us, for that matter. I don’t know why you are so upset with me, but this tone of yours is not something welcomed by me, and I don’t fucking like it. I thought you would be happy for me.”
“Happy for you? How can I be when I feel you have just made the biggest mistake of your life? …A firefighter? Fucking hell!” I shouted out and covered my face with my hands to hold back my tears from falling. “Our fathers died as firefighters! Or did you forget 9/11?”
He responded, “I’ll never forget that day as long as I live, and neither should you. That day changed the world and our lives forever.”
“Yes, I know, Nick. I was there, remember? We held each other’s hands with our crying mothers, and an entire firehouse of grieving families as we waited for news that they were alive. But they didn’t come home. Instead, they perished along with the thousand other lives that were in those towers. And now you stand here with that stupid grin on your face and expect me to be happy for a decision you made, without giving me the respect to process how I may feel about it? Nick, that’s what’s wrong with me.”
“I’m sorry, T. Please believe that I never meant to hurt you, I honestly thought you would be happy for me. Please, baby, today of all days is not the day to relive those memories. I promise we can talk about this later. Come back to the party with me, please? I love you so much and will do everything I can to make you smile again.”
“Rip up that letter, and we will be okay,” I pleaded.
“You know I can’t do that. I won’t do that.”
“Not even for me?”
“Thea, you are putting me in a no-win situation here. I love you, you know that I do, but you cannot back me up against the wall and bend me at your will. I am a man, and I know what I want, and that is to become a New York City firefighter as my father and grandfather were before me.”
“Then I wish you all the best, Nick, because you will be pursuing your dream on your own.”
“No! Thea, we can work this out. We always can. We have been through rougher times than this.”
“I thought you said today is not the day to relive bad memories,” I said.
“You know what I mean. Stop it, Thea. Don’t do this to me.”
“You know, Nick, when you stepped up onto that table, I thought you were going to propose. All my friends thought the same thing, and when you didn’t, it was like someone stepped on my heart and kept pouncing on it until it stopped. That’s what your announcement did to me. I love you, but I cannot be a firefighter’s wife and hold my breath until you return home from your shift. No, I lived that life already being a daughter to one, and I grieved for not only our fathers, but every single one that we lost on that day. I will not stand curbside and watch your coffin go by me, draped in an American flag, as the reality hits me that I am no longer
a wife but a widow.”
I was so lost in my memories of my last night with Nick that I didn’t see or hear my mother get out of her house and knock on the passenger window of my car. I quickly wiped away my tears and exited the car to hug her.
She said, “Oh, my sweet girl, thank you for coming home. It means so much to me that you are here, especially today.”
“It was the least I could do, mama. I know it’s been a while since I’ve been home.”
“Too long, Thea, too long, but you are here now. I know today is hard for you as well as it is for me. Today we will stand with our family and remember the fallen heroes.”
Something inside of me just snapped as we stood in front of our home. Was she for real?
“Mama, why are you still here? In this damn neighborhood? In this damn city? Why, after all these years, do you still grieve?”
“He was your father, Thea, and he deserves to be remembered and honored. He gave his life, along with his fellow firefighters, to save many innocent ones on September 11th. From the day your father worked his first shift as a New York City Firefighter, that job became a part of us. And on the day we lost so many of our family members, the ones that were still standing banded together and stayed united. If I have to remind you of that fact, then maybe this was a mistake for you to come home.”
She was angry and hurt by my words. Mama began walking toward the church, and I called out to her to wait.
“Mama, I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. Please understand…a part of me died along with daddy on that day, and I never got that piece back. And then there was Nick. My shattered heart would never be the same after losing my father, but then on a day when we should have celebrated our future, Nick tells me how he was accepted into the fire academy to follow in his father’s footsteps.”
“Yes, and you handled that so well, didn’t you, Thea?”
“What did you expect me to do, mama? After college, we had a plan. He changed it, not me.”
“Oh, Thea, how could you still be angry after all of these years? You weren’t the only one that lost a father that day. Nick did too and has made it his life’s mission to honor his father and to follow in his footsteps. They were huge shoes to fill, but he has successfully succeeded and is now Battalion Fire Chief of the same firehouse that you both were practically raised in. I know you never understood his choices, but sweetheart, look at all he has accomplished in his life. And yet, you are still so angry! I don’t believe your heart can hold much more. I beg you, sweetheart, learn to forgive your father for dying, and then forgive yourself for leaving.”
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