I turned to make my way back inside, and then I heard him say, “Like today? Because for hours and hours, I did not know where you were. You could have been anywhere, maybe even lying in a ditch somewhere. Why did I think these crazy ideas? Because once again, you shut me out of parts of your life, and you feel I am entitled to only parts of you.”
“You’re right. I am not going to stand here and defend myself to you. I should have called you at the first sign of trouble, but my handling the situation on my own, the events that followed are on me. For that, I am sorry, but for only hurting you. It was my intention to help and not harm, but look at my hand, the joke is on me.”
Carter then turned to face me, and the anger he expressed a few moments earlier was now replaced with remorse. He guided me inside and closed the balcony door behind him.
He said, “I am so sorry, baby. If it matters at all, my father has quite the shiner on his face.” He smiled and leaned in to kiss me gently. “Come, I’m hungry and could use a drink. Let’s get some food into you, and then if you are up for it, we can talk about today. If not, it will sit for tomorrow.”
I had already taken my pain pill, so I opted for lemon water while Carter enjoyed his favorite red wine. We finished our dinner, not saying much to the other. It would be silly to just share as if it was just a normal day in our lives when we knew it wasn’t.
Carter cleared the dishes and poured himself another glass of wine before joining me over by the fire. His back was to the couch, and he held out his hand for me to take but not before placing soft kisses down to it. I sat between his legs with my back to his chest and his arms around me. He was breathing me in, kissing the top of my head, and then making his way down to my neck. He was incredibly gentle and loving. When the dark clouds parted, this was the real Carter Newbanks, my fiancé who loved me without condition.
“I love you, Thea. You’ve been through hell today, and I know my father is the reason for it. I don’t want to go to bed angry, especially with you. Anything I felt before was simply out of fear of not knowing where you were. It’s no excuse for my behavior. You were right. I am not dealing with my grief over losing my mother, and it’s not making me think clearly, especially when it comes to us.”
I slowly turned in his arms carefully, ignoring my injured hand, and said, “What are you saying, Carter? Do you want out?”
I hated how I sounded. My voice was shaky, and I was on the verge of tears. I never pulled any punches with Carter, so why start now?
He sighed and then looked at me. “Come on, baby. You know me better than that. You have me for life.”
“Then don’t pull away from me. Please, Carter, let me love you and be there for you for a change.”
“I’m trying,” he responded.
“Okay, that’s all I ask.”
We went to sleep and decided our talk could wait.
“Okay, girls, let’s hit it if we are going to make it to school on time,” I called up the stairs to hurry them along.
“Nick, are you sure you want to bring the girls to school? My mom enjoys doing it, and it’s still mild enough outside to walk.”
“Karen, we talked about this. We need your mom to be a grandmother, not a babysitter. I actually want to do this, so let me do it.”
“Sorry, I am still getting used to the new way of things around here,” she responded.
“Yeah, and what might that be?” I asked her as I fixed my tie and grabbed the girls’ backpacks.
“Our family, a family that I don’t have to play all the roles in. I can just be the mom and know my babies are okay because they have their dad taking care of them too.”
“Come here, baby,” I said to her.
She walked into my arms with no hesitation and allowed me to hold her, breathe her in, and simply love her. At this moment with Karen, I knew I would be doing all those things and so much more…forever.
“Cover your eyes! They’re at it again,” I heard Gigi say as she entered the kitchen with Trinity close behind.
Karen giggled into the crook of my neck trying very hard to stifle her laughter, but it was impossible. That’s what these little girls did. They brought so much happiness to others around them, and they probably don’t even know it.
I said to Karen, “I love you. Call me when you get to the salon, and remember to set the alarm once you are inside, okay?”
“I promise. Please stop worrying.”
“Yeah, I can tell you that I will try, but I don’t lie.”
“So, Nick, how many fires are you going to put out today?” asked Trinity.
“Hopefully zero,” I told her.
“If you don’t put out any fires, won’t they fire you?”
It was my turn to laugh.
“No, I won’t get fired. Putting out fires is not my only job. I am in charge of the entire firehouse and the members that work there.”
“So what you’re saying is…you sit behind a desk?” asked Gigi.
Oh, sweet Jesus, give me strength.
“No, I do a little more than that, sweetheart. How about one of these days, you and your sister come down to the house and watch not only me, but the rest of the firefighters too?”
“Yay! When can we go?” asked Trinity.
“Maybe this weekend, I have to work a shift on Saturday.”
“You’re not working on Friday, right, Nick?” asked Gigi.
“Only in the morning.”
“Do you promise? Because you said you would take me to the dance. You promised.”
I pulled up to the curb where the carpool lined up. I got out and handed Trinity off to the safety patrol, but held Gigi back for a minute.
I told her, “Gigi, absolutely nothing in this world will keep me from escorting you to your dance on Friday night.”
“Okay, I believe you. It’s just…”
“What is it honey?” I asked.
“It’s just…I mean...”
“Gigi, you can talk to me, what is it?”
“Nothing. I’m just excited about wearing my new dress.”
“And you are going to look beautiful in it. Are you sure there is nothing else you want to tell me?”
“I’m sure, Nick.”
“Okay, you better get inside,” I said as I helped her out from the truck and handed Gigi her backpack. “Have a good day. Your mom will be here to pick you up at three o’clock. Remember, you hold onto your sister’s hand, and wait for your mom.”
“I will, Nick. See you later.”
I waited until Gigi got all the way inside, but something didn’t feel right about what she said. I parked my truck and scanned the lot and surrounding area for the school.
Someone knocked on my window.
“Can I help you, sir? Oh, Chief Bartelli, I didn’t know it was you.”
“Hi, Mrs. Lebanon, how are you?” I asked.
“I’m doing well, thank you for asking. Is everything okay? I’m only asking because one of my carpool moms said she saw you in the line with the girls today, and now you are parked in our school lot.”
“My apologies. I was just checking things out. I’ll be on my way.”
“Chief Bartelli, if you don’t mind me asking, does your sudden presence here mean you will be taking a more active role in the lives of the Mancini children?”
What. The. Fuck? I thought to myself. I’ve heard of people being forward, but this woman is downright intrusive.
I said, “Mrs. Lebanon, why are you asking?”
“I’m sorry, I know I overstepped. Chief...”
“Come on, Mrs. Lebanon, we go way back. I think you can call me Nick.”
“Okay, Nick, I will as long as you call me Joan.”
“Deal. What’s on your mind, Joan?”
“I was only asking because I was concerned about your intentions.”
“My intentions? And what do you know about them?” I said, as I was beginning to get annoyed with her.
“Karen has been on her own for a long time
now, and with no support from the girls’ father, and now he’s back. I’m just confused because you are the one doing carpool.”
What? He’s back?
“Joan, I think we need to start over here. What do you mean when you say their father is back? Have you seen him lately? And what I mean by that is…was this before or after my attack? Because this school was told under no circumstances that if Alex Mancini was seen anywhere near this school, or tried to make contact with the girls, you were to call the police. Now, has this happened?”
“I am not at liberty to say, Nick. I’m sorry I even began this conversation,” she said as she started to walk away when I called her back.
“Excuse me, Joan, but we are not finished here.”
“I really must be going inside now.”
“I don’t think so. You seem to take no caution when asking me about my personal life, and Karen’s for that matter, but when I do the same, you are not at liberty to say? You see, that’s what I have a problem with. You were given photos of Alex Mancini, because he is wanted by the police for his assault on me. He is a danger to his children and is not to come near them under any circumstances. So I will ask you again: have you had any contact with Alex Mancini?”
“I’m sorry, Nick. I didn’t know.”
“Well? Has he been around or not?”
“Yes, he has. Just last week he was here on school grounds. He was spotted by the soccer fields during recess time. It was only for a few minutes, and then Gigi was called back by her teacher. I was out of the office for the day in meetings, and when I returned, the vice-principal updated me, along with her teacher. I’m sorry, Nick. We didn’t know.”
“Didn’t know? Are you for real? What about his photo that you have in the main office? It was to be posted for your staff.”
“Nick, please understand how that looks to other parents. We can’t have his picture posted as if it was a wanted poster.”
“What you seem to forget is that he is wanted by the police, and by me, for that fucking matter. Because of him, I spent days in the hospital and weeks to recover. I should have you fired for incompetence. Fuck! What were you thinking? Oh, that’s right, you weren’t. If anything would have happened to that little girl, this would be a different conversation.”
“I’m sorry, Nick. I will call a meeting with my office staff about this matter.”
“Don’t bother, you have done enough. I will take it from here. I have to make some calls. You are to have all eyes on Trinity and Gigi today, and do not let them out from your sight. Do you hear me?”
“I understand,” she nervously said.
“I will be here to pick the girls up. If he happens to show up, you call me immediately, and then I will take it from there.”
I couldn’t even look at her. I got into my truck and sped away in disgust. I was so fucking late for shift. I had some missed calls from Leslie and one text from Tony asking where I was. Doing a disappearing act on my second day back to work was not a good idea and a shitty example for my guys, but this could not be helped.
I have to get to work, and then once I calm the hell down, I have to call McCarthy. And what in the hell am I going to say to Karen?
And as for Gigi? I knew something was off with her. How could she keep this from us? I already know the answer. He is her father. She loves him. She trusts him. And, what am I? Just the guy playing house with her mother. No, fuck that. I refuse to be just the stand-in for him. I am going to marry Karen, and be their dad. It doesn’t matter to me that they are not my blood. To be a father is so much more then DNA.
I rushed into the house, and Leslie was hurriedly walking beside me. I handed off my things and asked for Tony to meet me in my office.
“Everything is under control, Chief. You can slow down a bit,” she said.
“And? What exactly is under control?” I snapped at Leslie as I made my way into my office.
I was so blinded with rage, I could hit something. Leslie made a discreet exit and left me on my own. I sat down behind my desk and held my head in my hands.
“Chief, you wanted to see me?” I looked up to see Tony standing in the doorway.
“Yes, please come in and close the door.”
“What’s going on? If it’s about this morning, no worries. I was here, and so was Spinelli. We covered the morning, and so far, it’s been quiet around here.”
“Thank you for that, but that’s not the reason why I am upset. This is personal, so please talk freely in here.”
“Okay, what happened? And whose ass do I have to beat down?”
“Alex Mancini. He’s closer than we think he is. I dropped the girls off this morning to school, and that twit of a principal starts asking me questions about Karen, and my role in her life.”
“Lebanon? Are you serious?”
“I wish this was a joke, but it’s no laughing matter. I was talking with Gigi, and something didn’t sit well with me, but when I pressed her, she said everything was fine. Then I come to find out that Alex showed up last week on school property and talked with Gigi.”
“Oh fuck! Don’t they have his picture?”
“They do, but it doesn’t look politically correct hanging up in the office, so they have it hidden in a fucking drawer, I suspect. Tony, anything could have happened to Gigi, and worse, we had no idea. You know what this means?”
“Nick, she’s eight years old. I thought you weren’t going to do that?”
“Tony, I have no choice now. I have to call McCarthy and put our plan in place. Alex is one bold motherfucker to go to her school and try to see her. Don’t you see what he’s doing? He knows he can get to Karen through the girls, so I will get to him doing the same damn thing.”
“She’s never going to go for it, you have to know that.”
“Yes, she will and told me so last night after I had already changed my mind. Karen is going to do what’s best for her girls, and she trusts me to be the man to handle it. I would rather die before letting anything happen to Gigi and Trinity.”
“Yeah, but still Nick, what if Gigi gets caught in the crossfire? You better be sure without a doubt that you can get him before involving his kid.”
“I’ll work it out. Nothing is going to happen to her. I won’t let it.”
“What do you need me to do?” he asked.
“Watch the house.”
“You got it. Are you coming back today?”
“I don’t know. I have to see Karen, and then I will call you.”
“I’ll be here.”
“Tony, I know you are worried, but you don’t have to be. I will not leave you shortchanged here. I’ll call Tom and let him know what’s going on. My first priority is always this house. I will not leave it unattended and have all the responsibility fall down onto your lap.”
“I never doubted you, but thanks for saying it.”
I checked in with Leslie, and then I called Tom from my truck. He wasn’t in his office, so I left him a message to call me back. I also left a message for McCarthy.
I pulled into the back lot of where Karen’s shop was located. I texted her to let me in, and the minute I knocked she was there to open the door.
“Hey, baby, what a great surprise,” she said as she took my mouth and kissed me passionately. “Feel like christening the shop before it opens? Name the surface.”
“Yes! But it’s going to have to wait.”
“Okay, come in.”
I locked the door behind me and set the alarm. We made our way into the main room, where all the stations were still covered in plastic. Empty boxes were piling up in the front. Karen’s products arrived, and she was setting up the shelves.
“What’s wrong, babe? You would never just stop by in the middle of a shift. Are the girls okay?” she nervously asked.
“The girls are fine, but we have a problem, baby.”
“What is it?” she asked, her big brown eyes widened as she waited for my answer.
“Alex is back and has
made contact with Gigi.”
Five a.m. and I am wide awake, or did I ever go to sleep? So much for the pain medicine for my hand. My tolerance to medication was always strong, and I probably would have had to take a few pills just to feel some relief. Surprisingly, my injured hand was the last thing on my mind. It hurt, but it wasn’t unbearable. My eyes felt like they were rubbing against sandpaper, and my neck was so stiff because I had been in the same position all night. We slept in opposite positions because of my hand, which was a challenge in itself. I was afraid to move a muscle and disturb Carter. Between the nightmares and long work days, this was the first night in weeks he actually slept with no disturbance of any kind.
I slowly extricated myself from Carter’s embrace. When I was free and off the bed, I slowly turned to see him still sound asleep. Thank you, God! I reached for my robe and tiptoed out from our room to use the downstairs bathroom. I was willing to do anything to keep him sleeping for a few more hours.
I debated taking a shower but all my things were upstairs. I made some coffee and turned on the early morning news. I wasn’t paying any attention to it, and I was so lost in thought that my coffee turned cold.
I took a look at my hand. It was still very swollen with ugly colors of blues and purples. It was so reckless to haul off and hit Lennox, but it sure felt good when I did it.
When watching the news didn’t cut it, I did some work on my laptop. I caught up on all my e-mails. One was to Sally and the other to Stan, informing him that I would not be in work today, nor would Carter. Not too sure how he would react, but today I really didn’t care. I was a walking zombie with a broken hand. I think that alone earned me a day off. I was checking the election polls when I heard Carter call out for me.
It was a piercing cry. By the time I got up to our bedroom, he was in a state of despondence. The blankets and pillows were off the bed and strewn around the room, no doubt from Carter thrashing in his sleep. As much as I wanted to rush to his side, I knew I had to use caution. Carter looked dazed, withdrawn, and I didn’t want to startle him and make matters worse.
“You were gone…again. Why do you keep disappearing? You promise one thing and do another. Why are you pulling away from me when all I want to do is be close with you?” he said as he held his head in his hands, effectively keeping his eyes down to not look at me.
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