‘Yes.’ Roman’s voice was pitiless.
‘How can I tell you when I don’t know?’
‘I’ll never hurt you. Take it from there, Eva.’
How could she think when her heart was firing like a machine gun? This was all completely natural to Roman, but for her—
She drew a sharp breath in when he slipped a pillow beneath her hips.
‘Knees clenched like nutcrackers? Not a great start,’ he murmured wryly, smiling up at her. ‘Relax, and then tell me how you feel.’
She turned her face away. ‘Shy,’ she blurted. Determined, she tried again. ‘Self-conscious...’ Her lips pressed down as she thought about it. ‘Excited. And extremely frustrated,’ she admitted on an awkward laugh. ‘And exposed—but I don’t want you to stop.’
Roman laughed. ‘So you trust me at last?’
‘It would appear so.’ The old fire was back in her voice, but there was a smile in her eyes now.
‘Brava, Eva Skavanga,’ Roman’s warm breath caressed her ear. ‘So is this what you had in mind?’
‘Oh, yes...’
‘And this?’
One skilful fingertip traced a line of fire exactly where she needed him— Well, not quite. It was always close, but not quite touching...
‘You’re very responsive, Eva.’
‘But I shouldn’t—’
‘You shouldn’t what?’ he said as she turned her head away. ‘You shouldn’t allow yourself to feel pleasure? You shouldn’t lose control?’
While she was hesitating over her answer, he removed her tiny thong.
‘You don’t really need this,’ he explained with a smile when she gave a shaking cry. ‘And I wouldn’t worry about losing control if I were you. That’s going to be something you’ll have to get used to.’
‘If you say so.’
‘I do say so. My rules, remember?’
‘I love your rules—in this context only,’ she quickly said. She loved the way he cradled her as he fondled her, parting her lips and working with one finger, so delicately and skilfully, in a way that almost instantly brought her to the edge.
‘Good,’ he murmured as she sucked in a great shuddering breath.
She moaned with pleasure, needing this so badly, and so unutterably grateful that Roman knew everything there was to know about pleasure and how to please her.
‘Look at me, Eva. Yes. Look at me.’
‘If I promise to look at you, will you touch me again?’
‘Are you making bargains with me?’ He smiled into her eyes.
‘Would you prefer me not to? Would you prefer me to accept everything and be meek and mild, or would you rather I was true to myself, Roman?’
‘I wouldn’t know you if you were meek and mild,’ he admitted. ‘But I do have just one question to ask.’
‘Which is?’
‘Whose rules do you think will bring you more pleasure, Eva? Yours? Or mine?’
Her rules? Pleasure me, endlessly. How? I’m not sure. I’m no good at this—
Or his rules? Pleasure me endlessly. You know exactly how—
‘Your rules. At least for now,’ she tempered.
CHAPTER TEN
‘RULE NUMBER ONE: you do exactly as I say. Rule number two: you don’t lose control until I tell you that you can.’
Rules? Seriously? Her mind was shooting splinters into the ether just at the prospect of release. If those were his rules she would sign up now.
‘Only when I tell you,’ Roman repeated as if he knew the innermost workings of her mind. ‘It might not be as easy as you think.’
‘I’ll risk it.’ He knew she was on the edge. He knew she wouldn’t need much pushing.
‘Don’t even think it. Take your mind somewhere else.’
‘But how am I supposed to—?’
‘To stop yourself?’ Roman supplied. ‘You’ll do that easily when you remember that I won’t touch you again if you don’t.’
She nodded tensely.
‘Do as I say and the pleasure will continue as much as you want for as long as you want. Disobey me, and it will stop immediately.’
‘I’ll obey you in this one thing,’ she made clear.
‘And gladly, I would have thought,’ Roman murmured, a sexy smile playing round his lips. ‘As for the rest?’ His stare grew frighteningly dark and compelling. ‘It’s all up for grabs.’
Hmm. Roman was a maestro and she was the orchestra he had chosen to direct. The ache inside her had reached crisis point. She was in no mood to argue. ‘I agree to your conditions.’
‘We’re both adults. Everyone’s at the wedding, so you can be as noisy and as uninhibited as you like.’
She nodded agreement as if she understood, but she was wondering if Roman was always so calculating—there was no other word for it. Was he incapable of feeling? She had imagined her first real sexual experience would be very different from this. She had hazily imagined some romantic encounter with an ordinary man, rather than a high-achieving sexual athlete. Was this what she wanted?
As she thought about it Roman was holding her in a loose embrace, and her hand somehow strayed to the fine gold chain he wore around his neck. She pulled back to take a better look at it. He removed her hand. Don’t touch. She got it. But why?
Did she have to know everything about Roman? What did she want out of this? Wasn’t the fact that he was experienced enough for her? So he had nothing more to give other than pleasure? That wasn’t so bad, was it? Was she such an expert in returning normal human affection? They both had boundaries they refused to cross—
‘Are you still a virgin?’
‘What?’ She was startled by the question hitting her out of the blue.
‘Maybe not a virgin,’ Roman said thoughtfully. ‘But as close as it gets...’
She laughed as if she knew all about it. ‘How can you be close to being a virgin? You either are or you’re not, surely?’
‘You should have told me,’ Roman said, drawing back.
‘Told you what?’ she asked defensively, but she knew. ‘I can just imagine that conversation.’
Roman frowned. ‘What’s so difficult about telling the truth?’
She couldn’t answer him, and after a long moment he shrugged and brought her back into his arms. She didn’t wait this time. She didn’t want any more questions or explanations, she just wanted him to touch her, and when he did her screams of release could probably be heard in the village.
* * *
‘Good?’ he murmured when she had quietened a little.
‘What do you think?’
‘I think more,’ he said.
‘If I must,’ she whispered, glancing up at him. Her hips were already working against his hand.
‘Once is never enough,’ Roman agreed, moving down the bed.
‘What are you doing?’ She barely got the question out before she reacted fast and violently to the touch of his tongue and his lips and his hands and his—
‘And again?’ he suggested.
‘Definitely.’ She was still panting for breath, but instead of feeling sated she was gasping for more.
Her eyes shot wide as Roman slipped one finger inside her. ‘Does that hurt?’ he whispered.
She needed a moment before she could speak—a moment to get used to the sensation...the invasion, the shock. And during that moment Roman began to stimulate her with his other hand, so in seconds she had forgotten why she had been frightened.
‘Good?’
Like she never wanted it to end good. ‘Yes...’
‘And now?’ he said, slipping another finger inside her.
‘Yes... Oh, yes.’
While Eva gained in confidence and grew used to the new se
nsation, he kept her arousal high. He was in no hurry. They had all night. She soon forgot her fears and rose against him, seeking more, and as she did so his free hand slipped round her back to support her and he felt the scar. It wasn’t small, and it wasn’t deep, but it was a ragged expanse of damaged skin that didn’t strike him as the result of falling out of a tree as a child, or even a more serious accident that would have required treatment in hospital. It was perhaps a burn, or a severe grazing episode that had been coped with at home. He wondered about it, but said nothing. This wasn’t the time, not for either of them, but it gave him another piece of the jigsaw that was Eva Skavanga.
Perhaps the scar answered everything. Eva was a beautiful woman who was neither completely innocent nor experienced. She had kept the world at bay, maybe because she had been hurt badly at some time. Whatever else he had discovered about her tonight, she brought out his protective instincts.
Was this the start of a relationship?
Forget that. He would have to learn to care long-term—to risk his heart, his pride, his slumbering emotions—and he just wasn’t cut out for that.
‘What are you doing?’ Eva exclaimed when he reached into a bedside drawer.
‘Protecting you,’ he said, ripping the foil. ‘Would you like to—’
Her face turned grey.
‘Would I like to what?’ she whispered.
‘Would you like to put it on for me?’ he offered, pressing the packet into her hand.
‘I don’t think so.’
Her confidence died a little more as he threw back the sheet.
He waited. And waited. Finally she huffed a laugh, but it sounded brittle to him. She didn’t want to take things any further. He didn’t need it spelling out. He doubted she had taken things this far in the past. His concern for Eva took a huge leap. If a man took her at face value Eva could find herself in serious trouble at some point down the line. ‘Don’t know how to?’ he suggested.
‘Don’t be so ridiculous,’ she flashed, pulling the sheet tight around her. ‘You really are one arrogant piece of work, aren’t you?’
‘I am?’ Sitting up, he reached forward and took her hands in his, forcing her to look at him. ‘You’re playing a very dangerous game, Eva.’
‘How so?’ she demanded.
‘You’re lying naked in a bed with me.’
‘I didn’t notice you fighting me off.’
‘When I have sex with someone, I have to be sure.’ As he spoke he was swinging off the bed and standing up. ‘Call me old-fashioned, but sex is a mutual pact, as far as I’m concerned, requiring absolute trust between two people.’
‘Are you sure you wouldn’t like to draw up a contract first?’ she suggested, pulling the sheet tighter still.
‘It is a contract. It might be unspoken and unwritten, but it’s a contract all the same.’
‘So sex is just another form of business for you—a cold-blooded operation. Have I got that right?’
He shook his head. ‘You know I don’t think that.’
‘So it’s an enjoyable pastime that you indulge in with women who know the score?’
His lips pressed down as he considered this. ‘Women who are looking for the same thing from me I am from them,’ he agreed.
‘Meaningless sex, you mean?’
‘Mutual pleasure,’ he argued mildly. ‘Don’t go on fooling yourself, Eva. Don’t live a lie—’
‘Is that your homily for the day over and done with?’ she interrupted.
‘Don’t be sarcastic, either. It doesn’t suit you. And you know I’m right.’
‘Do I?’ she said, grimacing.
‘You can’t live your life based on a lie.’ As he should know. ‘At some point you have to come clean and admit who you really are to yourself. So you’re not experienced? Do you imagine I think any less of you for that? Regular sex isn’t some sort of pre-qualification in the game of life. Some people remain virgins for ever, and are quite happy to do so. You can’t force these things, Eva. If it happens it happens. If it doesn’t—’
‘You’d know all about that, I suppose?’ She’d grown tense.
‘Look—why don’t you just lock your door tonight if that makes you feel better?’ he said, moving away.
‘And what about your mixed signals?’ There were tears in her eyes now. She couldn’t understand what had happened. Neither could he. He had wanted this as much as Eva—more, probably.
‘You kissed me,’ she said in a small voice that tore at his heart.
‘I did,’ he agreed.
‘Was it so terrible?’
He couldn’t stand this any more and dragged her into his arms. ‘It wasn’t terrible at all.’
‘I’ve never met anyone like you,’ she said angrily, pulling away. ‘First you tell me I’m coming on too strong, and then you do exactly that. How do you expect me to take that in my stride?’
‘I don’t expect you to,’ he said frankly, raking his hair with frustration. ‘The trouble, Eva, is that you’re not just a good actress—brilliant sometimes—you’re as hot as hell.’
She shook her head as if trying to understand what he was saying. ‘You think you know me, but we’ve only known each other five minutes.’
‘How long should it take?’ he said quietly.
‘Oh, I forgot. You’re more perceptive than any other man.’
‘Maybe.’ He shrugged. ‘Where you’re concerned.’
‘And what’s that supposed to mean?’
She sniffed loudly, wiping her nose on the back of her hand in a way that touched him more than any seductive look she might have given him could hope to do. ‘It means I’m going to bed, Eva. And so are you. But in your bedroom, not mine.’
CHAPTER ELEVEN
‘WHERE ARE YOU GOING?’ she exclaimed as Roman walked towards the door.
Eva wasn’t a nuisance, or even a girl he wanted to take to bed. She was a lost soul searching for meaning in a complex world, and unfortunately she had chosen the wrong person to help her to do that. ‘I’m going to take a shower. I suggest you do the same. There’s another bathroom across the hall. There’s a robe hanging on the back of the door you can use. Get to bed, Eva. We have an early start in the morning.’
‘Going where?’
‘Going somewhere I hope will help you to understand what I do, and why you don’t need to be worried about the mine. You can find your bedroom from here?’
‘Of course.’
‘Then goodnight, Eva...’
She wasn’t reassured, and flung the pillows aside as she sprang off the bed.
Eva’s spirited departure was somewhat marred by getting tangled up in the sheets, forcing him to return to free her.
‘Don’t touch me,’ she warned. ‘And as for us having an early start in the morning? I wouldn’t count on that if I were you.’
‘Oh?’ he queried mildly. ‘I thought you were eager to discuss Skavanga with me? Or doesn’t that matter so much now?’
Her eyes widened at this, and then her lips firmed. He guessed she was longing to say something with a sting in its tail, but managed to stop herself in time. ‘I am eager to discuss Skavanga,’ she confirmed. ‘What time shall we meet?’
He hid his pleasure that she was as big a person as he thought she was, and his voice gave nothing away. ‘Six a.m. in the hall. Don’t be late. I have a flight plan filed. Wear jeans.’
‘You don’t need to see me out,’ she told him as he followed her to the door.
‘Forgive my good manners. I’m on my way to open the door for you—and to close it behind you. I don’t want to risk you slamming it in my face.’ He opened the door and held it wide. ‘I’ll see you in the morning, Eva.’
‘Not if I see you first,’ she muttered.
* * *
She was incredibly stung that Roman could be so businesslike after what had happened between them. She wanted to be pleased that their passionate encounter had ended without cause for regret, but all the old insecurities had kicked in, and now she was back in her own room she couldn’t shake the feeling that she’d been sampled and discarded. This was not the fantasy she had scripted, featuring the dark count, who, after listening to her impassioned pleading, would turn out to have a marshmallow heart. This was just a mess.
They had been briefly close and now she felt they were further away than ever. So why had she pulled back? Why couldn’t she go through with something she had always dreamed about? What was wrong with her? Why was it easy being strong in Skavanga, but here everything fell apart? What about those goals she had set herself before she came here? And what about building something instead of destroying everything she touched? And why...weirdly why, she was asking herself, would it have been different if Roman hadn’t been such a gentleman? In her fantasies it was all about being pinned down and pleasured to death, while in reality it was more complex, especially when the hero turned out to be just that: a hero.
She was falling in love with him, Eva realised, hugging herself as she leaned her head against the bathroom door. There would be no one after Roman Quisvada. How could there be? But love was out of the question; he’d always made that clear. Roman had never once allowed her to think that there was anything in his heart for anyone. He approached sex like food and ate when he was hungry. She knew the deal.
Closing her eyes, she allowed herself a few self-indulgent seconds of self-pity before reminding herself that she had come here for a purpose, and that her goal was still in sight. Hadn’t Roman said they were going somewhere tomorrow that would fill in the gaps for her, and that it had everything to do with the mine? She should thank him for bringing this farce to an end. He had forced her to refocus on the only thing that mattered, and that was Skavanga.
So why did she feel so empty?
Because now she knew that Roman was so much more than she had imagined. She had fallen in love with a fantasy hero, but Roman Quisvada was all too real.
The Flaw in His Diamond Page 9
