Jarod smiles, and Gretchen and Rebekah take a step toward each other, as if they’re already mentally shuffling their onstage positions.
Curtis turns his attention to me. “Andi, when you leave the receiving line, you’ll walk to this point, where Chase will approach you, for the dance.” He smiles and pulls me into a waltz position. He dances me around the perimeter of the stage, watching Jarod the whole time. “When you reach this point, at the bottom of the stairs, you’ll switch partners, but I’d like you to dance with Alex instead of Nathaniel.”
I wiggle my toes happily. No Nathaniel means my feet are now safe from trampling.
Nathaniel starts to object, but his protest fades away under Mrs. Mason’s glare.
“You’re too tall, Nathaniel,” she says. “Jarod can’t see Andi through you.”
Curtis nods and looks from me to Jarod and back again. “Jarod, your eyes should meet Andi’s at least once every third time you turn, no matter who you’re dancing with. Let your gaze linger as long as possible. Allow the sexual tension build, so the audience is on the edge of their seats by the time you meet in the center of the dance floor.”
He stops abruptly and hands me off into Prince Charming’s waiting arms. I swallow hard and nod, focusing my gaze on Jarod’s shoulder, so I won’t have to meet his eyes. Still, I can feel his gaze drilling into me while he pulls me into a tight embrace, and I can’t help blushing.
“Good,” Curtis says. “Exactly like that, Jarod. And this shy, slightly insecure vibe I’m getting from you is very believable, Andi. But maybe dial it back a bit. Remember, your character isn’t afraid to go after what she wants. Let Cinderella be the insecure one.”
He steps back and studies us. “Let’s draw out the dance to a full minute. Long enough to make the audience believe that you really might run off with Andi.” He runs across the stage, grabs Cara’s hand, and pulls her to the top of the stairs. “But when ol’ Cindy comes in, she totally blows her stepsister out of the water.”
Curtis walks down the stairs, imitating the hesitant way he’s asked Cara to enter the ballroom scene. He stops in front of Jarod, bats his eyelashes a few times, and curtsies. When the laughter dies down, Curtis turns to me and grins. “When Jarod abandons you to dance with Cara, that’s when you’ll rejoin Rebekah for your duet. I want you to imagine how it would feel to be second best. You really believed he wanted you.”
I bite my lip and nod, stealing a quick look at Jarod. “What if the prince really does choose the stepsister?”
Jarod blushes and ducks his head.
“We can’t rewrite the whole play,” Mrs. Mason says. “This is enough.” She claps her hands and shoos us all off the stage. “I’ll work on the dialogue tonight. For now, let’s ad-lib. I’d like to get the choreography set before we leave.”
Emily shoves her books into her backpack and slams her locker. “You’re no fun anymore. You finally have a day when you’re not stuck in practice for that play, and you’re still ditching us.”
I wince and rub my forehead with my fingertips. “Sorry, Em. If I didn’t have this headache, you know I’d go out with you.” I give her a shaky smile and sigh. “You think this is how I want to spend my one free afternoon?”
Summer rolls her eyes and jingles her car keys. “Don’t bother, Em. She’s got a headache. It’s too bad there’s no little miracle pill to cure something like that.”
Emily smirks at me and follows Summer out to the parking lot. “Someone should totally invent some kind of medicine to cure headaches. They’d be freaking rich.”
“Ha ha. Very funny.” I laugh weakly as I trail behind my friends. “I took some Tylenol before fifth period. It didn’t help. Can you just take me home so I can go to bed? I promise I’ll call you if the headache goes away.”
I crawl into the back seat of Summer’s car and close my eyes, tuning out Emily’s play-by-play of her conversation with Pete last night. A headache is the most cliché excuse in the world, but I’m desperate. It’s been nearly a week since prom, and today might be my only chance to find out what really happened.
Laina’s studying with Kendra, and Mom goes grocery shopping on Thursdays. I need to sneak into Laina’s room and steal her diary before anyone gets home.
I drag myself out of Summer’s car and slowly up the steps to the front door. But as soon as Summer drives away, I sprint into the house and down the hall to Mom and Dad’s bedroom. I force myself to slow down and carefully search through Mom’s jewelry box for the spare key to Laina’s room, leaving everything else in the box, exactly as I found it.
Laina almost always keeps her current diary with her, so there’s not much chance that I’ll find that one, but I glance at her old hiding space under her pillow anyway.
Nope.
I reach under Laina’s bed for the wooden box where she keeps her old diaries. A large combination lock dangles from the latch, but this is the easy part. Last year, I forgot the combination to the padlock on my gym locker, and a quick internet search showed me how easy they are to crack. It takes less than a minute to access Laina’s stash of secrets.
I grab the notebook on top of the stack and flip to the date label Laina has written on the inside front cover. Thursday, March twenty-fourth through Monday, April eleventh.
I have the entire prom story in my hands.
After locking the box and sliding it back under the bed, I open Laina’s door a crack to make sure the coast is clear. Mom is in the kitchen, putting groceries away, close enough to hear me if I’m not careful. I tuck the diary into the waistband of my jeans and pull my shirt down over it, and then slowly open the door until there’s enough room to slip out. I hold the knob as I close the door, so it won’t make a sound, then quickly re-lock it and slip the key into my pocket. I’ll put it back in Mom’s jewelry box after I return the diary.
I tiptoe down the hall to my bedroom and sink into my bed. Closing my eyes, I concentrate on taking deep breaths to steady my breathing and return my heart rate to normal before pulling out the book.
I turn to the entry labeled Sunday, April 10, 1:07am. Minutes after she got home from the prom.
Dear Diary,
Andi was right. Prom sucks. I should’ve gone bowling with her and Nick instead. I still would’ve been a third wheel, but at least I might have had some fun.
Maybe I’m imagining things, but when Nick came to pick up Andi before I left, I think he was kind of flirting with me a little bit. Even though I’m sure he was only doing it to get a reaction out of Andi, it was kind of cool to be the center of attention for once, instead of constantly living in my baby sister’s shadow. For a few minutes, I could pretend that I’m almost as pretty as she is.
Is she freaking serious? I emit a loud snort of laughter, but I quickly clap my hand over my mouth to stifle the sound, so Mom won’t come in to see what’s going on.
I re-read the page, but it still says the same thing. Laina thinks she has to compete with me for attention. How can she not realize how much every guy in the world totally worships her?
I skim through the rest of her description of Nick’s flirting, and her pre-prom dinner, where Kendra did her best to undo everything Nick had accomplished.
Kendra kept pinching the tiny roll of flab on her waistline and worrying that her dress made her look as huge as me. She almost decided we’d have to skip prom.
I would kill to get the kind of attention Kendra does. When we walked into the dance, I overheard a couple of guys from my chemistry class talking. I don’t know if they were being loud on purpose, just to be rude, or if they thought the music would drown them out.
“Check it out. Beauty and the beast.”
“I don’t get it. Why are they even friends?”
“Ignore them,” Kendra said, quickly pulling me across the room and out of earshot. “You shouldn’t worry about the way guys compare us.”
But that’s easier said than done.
“If they can’t see past your lopsided figure to w
ho you are inside, you don’t need them,” Kendra said.
And she’s totally right. I shouldn’t pay attention. But it would be easier to ignore the comments if she didn’t always point them out in the first place.
I’ll never understand how someone as gorgeous and perfect as Laina can believe Kendra’s lies. It’s beyond obvious that she only didn’t want Laina to pay attention because she didn’t want her to realize exactly who the guys were calling a beast.
But then it didn’t matter, because Shane asked me to dance. He even said I looked beautiful. I know it doesn’t count, because guys are required to tell girls they look pretty at times like this, but he said it to me and not to Rachel who, by the way, looked absolutely amazing in that emerald green dress Kendra wouldn’t let me buy.
She gushes for three whole pages about Shane’s song. Of course, she thought Adam wrote it, and Shane didn’t say anything to set her straight. He only told her he’d talk to Adam and Pete to get a copy for her, since she liked it so much.
Because he’s an idiot, obviously.
It takes me over an hour to finish reading the prom story, which fills up more than half the notebook and includes every single detail, including the name of her waiter at dinner and the number of fake torches lining the walls in the gym. It’s no wonder Laina spent all weekend locked in her room.
Kendra did everything she could to get between Shane and Laina. She managed to convince my sister that he was only pretending to be interested, because he thought Laina would sleep with him after prom. The way he held her a little too close while they were dancing, combined with the stupid things he said when we visited him at Burger Barn, made it too easy for Laina to believe Kendra’s version of the story.
And when Kendra called Laina a slut for dancing with Shane a second time, after Kendra “warned” her about his “true intentions,” Laina gave up and left the prom in tears. Jarod, her faithful knight in shining armor, followed her.
And nothing happened.
She cried on his shoulder, but wouldn’t tell him what she was crying about, because Kendra and Shane are the two topics she avoids talking about with Jarod. She cried so hard her makeup smudged all over his tuxedo jacket, which explains the stains I saw when he came to see me. And they held hands and walked around the parking lot a few times until she was ready to smile again.
When we finally went back into the gym, Jarod started singing along with that old Bruno Mars song, “Just the Way You Are.” He told me it’s my theme song, because I’m perfect. Only Jarod would be so cheesy and so totally clueless that he wouldn’t even realize he was quoting love song lyrics at me.
And obviously, Laina and I are both idiots. Neither of us wants to admit how much Jarod is still in love with her. And maybe I’m as bad as Kendra. I haven’t exactly been selflessly helping her to find true love all this time.
When the last song started playing, Shane and Jarod both asked me to dance, and for a minute, it looked like they might start fighting right in the middle of the dance floor. Whatever they’re fighting about keeps threatening to boil over with me right in the middle of it all. But once again, Jarod proved that he’s the best friend I could ever have. He obviously knew how much I wanted to dance with Shane. How much I wanted a second chance at the fairy tale. Jarod hugged me and left without saying a word. I guess, after the crappy night I had, he wanted me to have something good to remember about prom.
Or maybe he saw that she’d made her choice. What was it he said when he came over? “You should’ve seen the way her eyes lit up when he asked her to dance.” She didn’t have to tell him that she wanted Shane. He could see it in her eyes. And he’s so freaking in love with her that he just walked away, because that’s what she wanted.
I should’ve been happy, but I couldn’t convince myself that any of it was real. I know what he said to Kendra. I know he’s not really interested in the real me. Shane is like Anthony. Maybe all boys are.
Except Jarod.
He’s my personal White Knight, racing to the rescue whenever I need saving, but sometimes I think it’s not really fair to him. He shouldn’t have to always put himself last while he tends to my drama. But I still shudder when I think about what would’ve happened if Jarod hadn’t been there last year. There’s no way I could’ve survived the thing with Anthony on my own.
I almost wish I’d ended the night dancing with Jarod instead of Shane. Because even though we’re only friends, I know Jarod and I are a team forever. And after the last dance was over—
Laina’s diary entry cuts off mid-sentence and I stifle a frustrated scream. She must’ve run out of room in this notebook and simply grabbed a new one to finish the thought. And there’s no way I’m getting my hands on her current diary.
Not until she fills it up.
Back when I used to sneak her diaries all the time, she would never have left a thought unfinished. Sometimes, she’d even glue in extra pages to accommodate the end of a journal entry. But that was back when she was still using expensive, leather-bound journals and keeping them neatly shelved.
I close the notebook and slip it under my mattress. I may not have the whole story, but these things I know for sure:
1. Laina is still in love with Jarod, whether she admits it to herself or not.
2. Jarod is obviously still in love with Laina.
3. Whatever happened last year with Anthony Matthews, it’s still bothering her more than she wants to admit.
4. I’m afraid to think about whatever happened. Because I have a sneaking suspicion I already know.
I consider going back to Laina’s room to find the answer in her old diaries, but I can hear Mom watching TV in the family room, and she would totally see me if I tried to get in there now. Besides, there must be a zillion books from last year, and without a more specific time frame, I’ll never be able to find the one with the whole story.
But Jarod was there. He can tell me what happened.
I corner Jarod at his locker before school.
“Can we talk?” I ask. “Privately?”
His eyes light up, and he slides his arm around my waist. “Sure. Why don’t I give you a ride to rehearsal tonight? We can talk then.”
I pull away and shake my head, trying not to notice the butterflies in my stomach that started fluttering like crazy the second he looked at me. I wish I could ignore the way his eyes flit up and down the hall to make sure no one is paying attention to us, but I can’t. “No, it has to be now. But only talking. No touching.”
I lead him to the south stairs and take a deep breath to calm my nerves. Other than rehearsals, I’ve been avoiding him since prom night. Not that it’s done any good. Dave still won’t talk to me.
I think about the way Jarod kissed me in the kitchen, the way his touch sent tingles up and down my spine, even though I knew it was wrong, and I have to cross my arms to avoid reaching for him now. And when he looks at me with those emerald eyes and runs his fingers through his hair, I know he’s feeling the same way.
Maybe a private chat with Jarod wasn’t such a great idea after all.
I shake my head. Our personal issues can wait. “What happened with Anthony Matthews?”
Jarod frowns. “Um, nothing? I don’t really hang out with losers.” He reaches for me, and his fingertips graze my shoulder before he remembers my no touching rule and pulls away again.
“Last year. What happened with Anthony and Laina?”
The color drains form Jarod’s face and his jaw clenches. “Why? What did you hear?”
I bite my cheek. “Well, I kind of stole Laina’s diary to find out what really happened on prom night.” I shrug. “You know how Laina is. She writes down every detail about every single, little thing that ever happens to her.” I study his face, looking for clues. “But she keeps making vague references to something that happened last year with Anthony, and she never elaborates.”
“Maybe it’s so unimportant that it’s not worth writing down the details?” Jarod look
s so hopeful that I wish I could believe him.
“She spent half a page describing the flavor of the pasta she ate for dinner before prom. Laina doesn’t do vague. Not in her diaries. If it’s important enough to mention, she’s going to record every detail.” I think about her meticulous description of the waiter who smiled at her during dinner and the long, boring pages where she listed every element of the prom décor. “Why would she bring up the thing that happened with Anthony and then skip the specifics?”
“Maybe she wrote about it all when it happened, and so she doesn’t need to think about it anymore?”
I shake my head. “No. She’s actively trying to not remember.” I take a deep breath, carefully watching Jarod’s reactions. His eyes narrow and he clenches his hands into tight fists, but he doesn’t say a word.
“I was only going to read the entry from prom night,” I say, “but she kept referring to the thing that happened with Anthony, and I thought I might find some clues if I read more. So I read the whole diary. It only covers a couple of weeks, but Laina refers to that incident with Anthony on almost every page.”
I bite my lip and study Jarod’s eyes. He doesn’t say anything.
“The thing is, she thinks about Anthony whenever she writes about any guy who pays attention to her. And it’s like it makes her nervous. Or ashamed. Maybe even terrified.” I exhale slowly, letting all of the pent-up emotion spill out of me along with the tears I can’t hold back anymore. “Tell me I’m wrong.”
Jarod slams his fist into the door. “I’m so stupid,” he mutters. “I should’ve known she wasn’t okay, but I didn’t want to believe it was so bad. I should’ve forced her to talk to someone, to do something. I should’ve killed Matthews.”
I swallow hard and try to force the words out. “Did he …?” I can’t bring myself to ask. I don’t want him to confirm my fears. I close my eyes and try to block the image of Laina, torn and broken, from my mind.
Twleve Steps Page 16
