by Piper Rayne
Me: YES! When do you get in?
It’s as though someone up above is sending me a gift. Gwen is a bit of a wild child and will surely take me clubbing and help me forget all my troubles. She did a good job after Todd and I’m sure she’ll be up for the challenge this time, too.
Gwen: Saturday at six. I’ll catch a cab to your place.
Me: I can’t wait to see you.
Gwen: Me either. I’ll call you later.
Me: :)
I set my phone down, my mood a bit lighter, but the memory of Roarke not explaining what was going on when I was standing right in front of him still lurks in the background. If the situation was so innocent, why wouldn’t he have said that in front of his side piece?
Because he didn’t want to hurt her feelings.
Jackass.
My phone dings again and I grab it with a smile already on my face anticipating whatever it is Gwen has texted me.
Roarke: You owe me two more favors.
I seethe and see red as I stare down at his text. I’d thought that the favors were over once he got me under him in bed. Just the remembrance of his lips and hands makes my body tingle much to my utter dismay.
Me: Seriously?
Roarke: Would you like to see the contract?
I inhale a deep breath.
* * *
Me: You’d cancel the venue?
Roarke: Do YOU think I would? You seem to think you know me so well…
Me: What do you want?
If he wants a favor, fine. I’ll do it.
Roarke: My condo at noon today.
Me: No.
Roarke: No you won’t meet me?
Me: If I have to meet you it has to be in public.
Roarke: I can’t have people overhearing what I have to tell you.
I don’t reply. This is a non-negotiable for me. I can’t risk falling back into his bed.
Roarke: Fine. I’ll arrange for a secluded table at Torrio’s. Final offer.
Me: Fine.
Roarke: Try to come with an open mind.
Me: Are you bringing your girlfriend?
He doesn’t respond to my question but I see the three dots appear.
Roarke: Noon.
I toss my phone on my desk, my eyes staring at the time on my computer. I have three hours before I have to be there. After this, there will be one more favor. I should tell him to go to hell. But I’ve seen a lot of different sides of Roarke and one is his persistence to get what he wants. I wouldn’t put it past him to cancel the venue in order for me to hear him out, and we have a contract that says he’d be within his rights to do it. Bastard.
Three hours later, I walk in Torrio’s to find Roarke sitting at my table.
Some nerve, this guy.
I step down the stairs surprised at how empty it is in here, but then again, I’ve never come here mid-day before.
He stands up from the table when I approach.
“I thought we needed to be secluded?”
“Since they don’t open for four more hours this is what we’re using.” He nods to the booth.
A waiter I’m not familiar with brings over a Vesper.
“This gentleman doesn’t know what I want. Could you get me a gin and tonic instead?”
He nods, taking the Vesper with him.
“You’re angry at me, not at him,” Roarke says.
“I think I was polite.”
“You weren’t.”
“Thank you, Mr. Etiquette, I’ll remember that,” I quip. I sit back in the booth, my hands in my lap.
“After he brings you a new drink I’ll tell you how what you saw isn’t what you think.”
We wait in silence.
“Funny how you think I’m the one at fault.”
His eyes dig into mine. “You know what, before we start I want you to look back over the last month or so. I want you to remember how I was with you. I never lied. I was upfront about everything. My past. No one in this city knows my past, but you, because you came to Woods Parlor and saw it firsthand.”
I cross my hands over my chest. “You probably hired them all.”
He huffs and rolls his eyes. “Fine. Yes, Hannah. I hired an entire town to act like my family. I put those pictures in the glass case for you to find. I even made sure it was Liv that waited on us. I get that you have trust issues. I have them myself, but I would at least hear you out.”
The waiter comes over and places a gin and tonic with a lime on a small dish in front of me.
“Thank you. So sweet.” I’m overly pleasant to him.
Roarke gets an even more pissed off look on his face. I’ll admit that I kind of enjoy that look because it makes him appear even sexier. Funny how the tables have turned.
Once the waiter is a good distance away, Roarke pulls out a business card from the inside pocket of his suit and slides it over.
One Million Degrees. I pick up the rectangle cardboard in my hand and read it over. A non-profit.
“I’m on the board.”
“Good for you.” I place it down. “Do you want a pat on the back?”
He blows out an exhausted breath.
“I’m really trying here, Firecracker, but you’re not.” The hurt in his voice, as well as his pet name for me, cut me as deep as it did when I saw that woman holding a bra and panty set that she was going to model for him later that night.
“Fine.” I sip my gin and tonic. “Carry on.”
“The woman is receiving services from One Million Degrees. She left an abusive relationship and she’s been working and going to school at night. The program helps people like her get a fresh start, so they can do something positive with their life. I’d taken her to Bloomingdale’s to get her a suit for an interview she had coming up. I’m not really supposed to go that above and beyond but I know what it’s like to walk into an interview room and not be dressed the part. To feel like you’re going to fail before you’ve even begun.”
“And that includes bra and panties?”
He holds his hands up in the air. “I know that looked horrible. I was keeping Reese busy so she could shop.”
“You were buying her the intimates, too?”
“I was.” No apology in his tone.
“Nice.” I narrow my eyes at him.
“How do you feel when you put on a new bra and panty set? Let’s say before a date. Does it make you feel sexier, bolder?”
He leans forward and I hate that he’s able to somehow make a point with this. The fact is he was buying another woman lingerie.
“I’m going to go out on a limb and say yes. Maybe you don’t know what it’s like to wear years’ old cotton underwear or a bra with one underwire missing. It doesn’t exactly help you feel like you’re the best there is out there. I’m not going to defend my actions, Hannah. I didn’t have her model them for me and I would never cross that line with someone from the charity whether you were or were not in the picture. In fact, I’d already given the sales lady my credit card. If you hadn’t stormed in there with your girl squad, I never would have seen the undergarments in the first place.”
“You’re blaming me?” I point to my chest.
“I’m not blaming you,” he says through clenched teeth. “The only thing I’ll apologize for is not telling you what I was doing. I left that night because her ex-husband showed up drunk and pounding on her door. She ended up calling the police. Reese was so scared I ended up staying over there until she fell asleep. I should’ve told you that day, but you were taking me to meet your parents and I didn’t want you having any doubts that I’m the right man for you.” He takes a healthy sip of his drink.
“Why did your shirt from that night smell like perfume?”
I thought I’d get a look of surprise or pissed off expression since I’m testing him again, but I get neither of those, only a calm facade.
“Reese had been playing in her mom’s things, spraying perfume. Although I shouldn’t be telling you this, but I am because I desperat
ely want this behind us. Sonya is another woman I’ve helped. Jett as well. There are many others spread all over this city and if I have to bring each one here to convince you I’m telling the truth, I will.”
Tears prick my eyes and I inspect the business card again. I’ve heard of programs similar to this. How can I honestly be mad at him for helping those less fortunate?
“I have to go.” I slide out of the booth, all my emotions of the past few weeks suddenly too overwhelming, too convoluted to decipher.
“What? No.” He stands to follow me and I turn around sharply, my hand landing on his suit vest.
I take in his appearance one more time. He’s the dressed-for-success Roarke, the one I like the least. Maybe because it reminds me of my failed marriage or the way I despised him when I didn’t even know him.
Feeling the softness of the vest with the buttons, I want nothing more than to step into him and let him convince me that I’m not crazy. That I won’t always think the worst of any man in my life. That one day I’ll trust someone when they say they only want me. That a year isn’t long enough for anyone to push away all the fear the dissolution of my marriage brought on.
“I’m sorry I drew the wrong conclusions. I should have asked when I first started to suspect something but I was so sure, and I wanted to burn you at the stake. I wanted to have the upper hand when I confronted you. I see now how demented that sounds. I thought I was ready for a relationship but I see now that I’m not.”
“No.” His forehead creases. “Hannah,” he pleads, his voice cracking.
I shake my head, stepping closer just to feel his lips to mine one last time. “I never intended to fall for you, but I did.” I rise on my tiptoes and press my lips to his.
He stands there looking stunned at how this has played out.
“Always remember my feelings for you were real, but you deserve someone who won’t be assuming the worst from you at every turn. Someone you don’t have to argue your case to over and over again. I hope you find her.”
I step back, my hand falling from his vest.
As I walk away this time he doesn’t follow me and I’m glad because I don’t think I would have the strength to keep walking away if he tried to stop me. But it’s what’s best for him.
When I open the door to step outside, he calls out behind me, “You still owe me one favor, Firecracker, and I will cash it in.”
Chapter Thirty-One
It’s been an entire week and no word from Roarke, which I keep telling myself is a good thing. I’ve spent my time preparing for the gala to keep my mind far away from my broken heart and how I singlehandedly ruined everything.
“So, everything is going as planned.” Chelsea comes into my office looking like her old self. No one can tell she’s pregnant, she’s yet to get that baby bump, or if she has it, she’s hiding it well. Gone is the sweets addiction and crying jags which confirm that when one of us is down the other two rise up to take the reins. I’d hoped I would be more of a help in these final stages of planning, but without her and Victoria, the gala would have been a write-off.
She sets a manila folder on my desk.
“What’s this?” I ask.
“It’s everything we need tomorrow, just in case. You have copies and I have copies. All the contacts for everyone involved. Jett, the bakery, the florist. There’s a list of the times everyone is set to speak.” She sits down in front of me. “Everything except for one thing. A certain silver fox didn’t retract his invitation.” She raises her eyebrows my way and my gut churns.
“Do you really think he’d come and make a scene?” I ask a stupid question because this is Roarke Baldwin. Of course he would.
“Yeah, I do. That’s why I hired two bodyguards to stand guard at the entrance. I’ve given them Roarke’s photograph so they’re to stop him from entering.”
My jaw hangs. “You didn’t?”
“No, but if you want me to, I will. I have connections.” She waggles her eyes and I have no doubt that she does. “But from the look of fear in your eyes, my guess is you wouldn’t mind an embarrassing act by him?”
She knows me so well after the short time that we’ve been friends.
“I miss him. Lucy misses Nickel. Do you think it will go away? Like one day I’ll wake up and feel like he was never a part of my life? How can I become so invested in someone after only months?”
Chelsea laughs. “You’re talking to the wrong girl. Are you sure you made the right decision ending things?”
“Yeah, it’s the right decision. One day he’ll see I’m right.”
Her concern means a lot because when I told Chelsea and Victoria that I walked away after they thought I was crazy. They didn’t say it out loud, but I can see it in their eyes and body language.
But I was right to leave him free to find someone who could give him what he deserves. He was right—I could have asked. He’d never lied to me. He apologized for not telling me that morning but he had a good reason to why he didn’t. I never thought the saying ‘if you love something enough set it free’ was true. But it is. Because I love Roarke too much to put him through my tests every time he says he has to work late.
I need to sort myself out. Apparently, I don’t have it as together as I thought after my divorce.
Chelsea rises from her chair, the same expression on her face from a week ago when I told her and Victoria what I did at Torrio’s. “Whatever you say. I’ll see you tomorrow night.”
“Thanks for everything, Chelsea.”
She stops at the door, a smile on her face. “Always, Han. That’s what friends are for.”
The next night I’m getting ready for the gala when Gwen walks into my bathroom.
“You look stunning, Montana,” she says.
Whereas I’m dressed in a long elegant gown, she’s in a short sequin dress with a large tulle skirt with fishnet stockings. As if the dress itself isn’t going to give my mom a coronary, she has a cut off white t-shirt with big black letters that read Girl Power.
“Shocking as usual.” I smile at her in the mirror.
“I refuse to conform. Olive should love it don’t you think?”
“I think the girls will love it and you, of course.”
She sits on the side of the tub, watching me put my makeup on. Her heavy black eyeliner and mascara applied flawlessly looks great with her pink lipstick.
“I was thinking last night after you went to bed.”
“You thinking? I’m shocked.” I chuckle.
She sticks her tongue out at me through the mirror. “I’m not just a fabulous pair of tits and ass.”
I laugh, deserting the thought of applying my lipstick when she’s in this mood.
“I think you’re being really hard on yourself.”
“No Gwen.” I shake my head, turning back to the mirror, plumping my lips to apply my lipstick. I’ll take any excuse to avoid this conversation with yet another person.
“Since when did you ever think you could boss me around?” She raises her perfectly arched eyebrows, crossing her legs.
Gwen is right. She’s always challenged me and usually made me a better person for it.
“I think that it’s over. What’s wrong with being single. You are.” I shrug.
She laughs. “By choice. You’re hurting yourself and I’m not going to sit back and watch you do it. Todd was an asshole. I told you that from day one. He was spineless. I always said you needed a man who would challenge you, and from what I hear of this Roarke guy, that’s him.”
I set the lipstick on the counter and spin around to face her. “You don’t even know him.”
“You’re forgetting I sat in the courtroom when that divorce was finalized. I’m the one who took you out for drinks in celebration of shedding one hundred and ninety pounds of grade A asshole.”
I giggle. God, have I missed her.
“True.”
“I would’ve slipped him my phone number had you not already staked your claim.”
“I hated him.”
Her shoulders rise up and down. “You sure about that?”
“Yes, I’m sure.”
“He was all you could talk about that night.”
“Because I was pissed. He helped Todd take my money.” I pick the lipstick back up and slide it across my lips.
“That’s not what you said as you were passing out and slurring your words.” She’s got her ‘I’ve got a secret expression’ on her face. The same one she had before she told me she lost her virginity.
I stop and lean my hip on the counter. “Are you really going to make me ask?”
Her laughter echoes in the small room. “You said you wanted to fall to your knees, unzip his slacks, and see if he’s the man you think he is. You wanted to blow—”
I hold my hand up. “Got it, Gwen. I’d also drank half a bottle of Patron.”
“You know I always say that the truth comes out when you’re high or drunk.” She hops down from the countertop and lingers in the doorway. “I’m just going to say one more thing and then I’ll leave you alone about it. You are an amazing woman and you’re stronger than you think. I might be the only person who saw how hard it was for you when you found out Todd was cheating. I know you see yourself as some damaged person, but you’re not. You’re a beautiful, independent woman who rose up out of the ashes to do something meaningful with her life. And if Roarke is the man I think he is, he’d rather have you and support you while you work through your stuff, than not have you at all.”
I turn open my mouth to respond but she’s gone. Always the one to say her thoughts and disappear.
Inspecting myself one last time, I can almost feel Roarke behind me, kissing my shoulder like he always did, telling me how beautiful I am. Reassuring me I’m the only one for him.
I blink and see it’s just me and it’s the first time in over a week that I debate if I really did make the right decision.
