by S. M. Welles
“Are you sure?”
“I intend to leave him alone. He made it clear he’ll do the same with me.”
“Do you trust him to?”
Jessie hesitated. Her gaze fell on the pencil threaded in Rammus’s interlaced fingers. He must be tallying everyone’s decisions. How divided was it? He’d spent a couple of minutes with each person. It hadn’t been a simple yea or nay from each of them. How much did the others trust Jacobi? “To an extent,” she reluctantly admitted.
“Why?”
She gave him a grimace. She didn’t want to explain. It was harsh.
“I don’t care what it is so long as it’s the truth. Tell me. I need to know.”
“I’m afraid he won’t respect your authority as much as Captain’s. If he was here, I wouldn’t be worried.”
“He’s got authority issues but I believe his pride will keep him in line from now on.”
“Are you sure?” She still had no intention of reversing her decision but the truth might help her relax.
“Positive. Captain and I discussed many things, including Jacobi, before the cave. No one but him and Cancer ever had any complaints about you being on the Pertinacious. Cancer obviously respects you and your membership. Sure, all of us thought it was a little strange enlisting you but we’ve come to enjoy your company and cooking, along with your fighter’s spirit. If things turn out alright and you part ways with us, we’ll all miss you sorely.”
Jessie couldn’t help but mirror Rammus’s warm smile. It was great to hear she’d be missed, that she’d grown on them as they’d grown on her—except for O’Toole and Jacobi. O’Toole was harmless and all but she’d never forgiven him for spying on her while showering, or for ruining her blissful state after her breakfast-in-bed morning. And Jacobi hadn’t grown on her for obvious reasons. He needed a few kicks in the nuts, but.. she didn’t want to carry the guilt if he lost his job because of her. “How would all of you feel if you had to let go of Jacobi?”
“Disappointed,” he admitted. “But the safety of the crew is the bottom line. I’d be furious with myself if something happened to you or anyone because I didn’t use my better judgement. He is everyone’s friend, but so are you. If he can’t stop being a threat, he goes; not you. Understood?”
She nodded. “Then I stand by my decision to let him stay.”
“Very well. Thank you. Go ahead and tell Mido to come on up.” Rammus swiveled around and flipped the paper over.
Jessie returned to her spot at the railing and sent Mido up. Jacobi was still seated, looking quite nervous. Hopefully that was a sign the severity of his behavior had finally sank in and he’d be true to his word to behave. The rest of the crew was chatting among themselves about their vacation, completely at ease as if they weren’t in the middle of deciding the fate of one of their friends and crew mates. Stunned to silence, Jessie leaned against the railing and listened to Ed and Ted tell Sauna about an adventure inland gone awry thanks to Ted getting a heat stroke. It hadn’t been funny at the time, but Ed ruthlessly poked fun at Ted’s few days of misery, until Mido and Rammus exited the wheelhouse. Mido rejoined Jessie, and Jacobi hopped to his feet. The crew fell silent and gave their full attention to their surrogate leader. Rammus looked down at all of them from the top of the stairs, a piece of paper in one hand, his gaze serious.
“The vote’s unanimous. Fire up the engine and throw the lines. Our next stop is New Zealand.” He balled up the paper and hurled it overboard—well tried to. The steady wind knocked it onto the deck by Scully’s feet, just shy of the railing. Scully gave it a kick and sent it out of sight.
Jacobi broke into a relieved grin.
Sam said, “C’mon, blockhead, let’s go organize the next shipment.” He and the rest of the cargo pushers headed for the stern as a group, all of them taking a turn to slap Jacobi on the back. He slapped them back individually.
Ed and Ted ran up to him from behind and each grabbed an ass cheek, making him jump and cry in alarm.
“I’m not the only one!” Sauna cried triumphantly, pumping a fist in the air.
Jacobi tried to glare at them but he was too busy smiling. “You two are a riot.”
“You bet!” Ed said. He, Ted, and Sauna took the first hatch down to the engine room.
Mido kissed Jessie on the lips then, holding his broken ribs, jogged up to Jacobi and firmly punched him in the side.
Jacobi flinched and grabbed his side. “Hey, man. How’s your ribs? And sorry about that. It was kind of reflexive.”
“They’ll heal,” Mido said offhandedly, “but you’re getting nothing but knuckle sandwiches for a week.”
“I’ll just have to chase ‘em down with every last digestion pill in the med kid. Hope Cancer won’t mind.”
“Bon appétit,” Scully said.
“See you in the galley around lunch.” Mido playfully punched Jacobi one more time, then doubled back to Jessie and leaned beside her on the railing. He threaded a hand in hers, looking completely content.
She glanced at the cargo pushers walking together and chatting animatedly. “How are you all so casual all of the sudden?”
“What do you mean?”
“We just had a very serious discussion and now you’re all acting like it never happened.” She was still trying to figure out how she would handle things if she and Jacobi crossed paths one on one again.
“I dunno. Maybe it’s a guy thing.”
“Must be. I don’t get how you went back to being friends just like that.”
He shrugged. “It’s just easier that way.”
“Yeah, definitely a guy thing. I believe he’ll leave me alone, so long as nothing bad happens, and so long as Captain finds us soon.”
“Don’t worry. We’ll be keeping an eye on him for signs of stupid. We’ve all got your back, Jessie.” He gave her another kiss on the lips and let it linger.
“Get a room, you two!” came Rammus’s voice over the sound system, startling them apart and making Mido grab his ribs. They popped guilty grins, then waved at the wheelhouse and headed for the galley to prepare lunch.
* * *
However many days or weeks later, I finally woke up feeling more like my normal self. No more lustful haze. No more powerlessness to resist. Just me still in demon form, curled up in Amphitrite’s bed like a dog, alone.
So I had a crazy goddess who was madly in love with me, and had once again forced me into having sex with her. Just great. On top of that, I was more interested in her daughter, who was out of my league and beyond my reach. Just plain great. What was I supposed to do now?
Lifting my head, I scanned the room. Nothing but me and the water bed inside a domed room, its walls glowing with an orange-ish light emanating from a crevasse overhead. The room was warm and devoid of any other furniture. I uncurled and slinked off the bed, and padded towards the double doors, then paused. The floor was made of water dark enough to pose as a mirror. My reflection looked up at me, radiating injured pride. At least I looked like a bipedal water dragon that could kick ass. I flexed my arms, chest and abs, studying the bulk and raw power of so much muscle. I had a modest build in human form. I could lift heavy things, but my human strength was such a joke compared to a fifty foot ketos. I heaved my scaly shoulders with a sigh. My demon form was Amphitrite’s pompous mark all over me, sculpted body and everything. I hated it and myself even more for not being able to deny how intoxicating it was to feel this powerful. As much as I wanted to revert to human, I probably needed to stay this way so I could leave. I couldn’t count on Rhode to help me this time.
I pushed the doors open and headed for the pool leading to the exit. I remembered that much from my trip here. For half a second, I’d feared the doors might not yield and Amphitrite was secretly holding me captive, but the carved doors swung inward and I marched down the hall, all alone. No guards or other divine company. Just demon me and the bioluminescent fish swimming along the water veins in the walls and pillars. No clue what gods did while u
s mere mortals weren’t looking. Didn’t care. I didn’t want anything to do with any of them at the moment. For now I’d just suck up my curse, then visit Amphitrite in her cave sometime within the next few decades. Hopefully next time I’d keep my temper and bitterness to myself. That would be easier if she’d stop feeding me reasons to despise her.
Come to think of it, what was the point of a next time? This recent visit had been a disaster. I wasn’t any closer to lifting my curse or knowing how to lift. Did I have to say yes to her misplaced emotions or something? That was as appealing as making Jacobi and Jessie date each other. Sure, Amphitrite was gorgeous, but everything she did made me hate her, including her saving my life so long ago.
I’m sorry, but not everyone you love is going to love you back. It’s just the way life is.
I crossed the gargantuan chamber, glancing over at the empty throne that dwarfed even my demon form. It looked like a mountain of rock with a chair back and armrests carved into it with care. A simple throne that emanated masculine power. Greater amounts of artwork had been poured into the rest of the palace. I had to admit the place was stunning. Maybe that’s what gods did with all their free time: create works of breathtaking art. I couldn’t help but admire and respect their skills.
I reached the end of the other hall and paused at the pool, looking over a shoulder, just in case. No one was there. I was free to leave, just as I’d hoped. Giving her pleasures of the flesh must’ve been equally satisfying for her as it was humiliating for me. I jumped out over the water, fused my legs with my tail and dived. My face bashed the unyielding surface and I fell in a heap, sliding to a halt. I coiled my serpentine body and clutched my pounding head as I tried to catch my breath from having the wind knocked out of me.
I should’ve expected something like this. I’d had a feeling I wouldn’t be able to simply up and leave as I pleased but I’d expected… I don’t know. A self-inflicted headache was pretty humiliating, something that would only please her. I reformed my legs and walked off the water with what dignity I could muster, clutching my face and filling with dread. I was suddenly a prisoner.
Mocking laughter emanated from the stupid pool.
“Leaving so soon?” Amphitrite rose out of the pool’s edge, hands folded over her abdomen. At least she was fully clothed.
“I don’t want anything to do with you right now. Just let me go.”
“No.” She lost her smile. “I am going to bend you until you break. You shouldn’t have lashed out at me with more than words.”
“I’m not ever going to be your lover. Now let me go.”
She stepped ashore and stood tantalizingly close, her lips almost brushing my snout. I took a step back. “You have quite thoroughly crushed my heart. Our recent bout of love-making was… was not as enjoyable as anticipated. It felt strangely hollow, and for that I’m hurt even deeper. You have only begun to see the extent of my scorn, Dyne Lavere. It only gets worse for you the more you hurt me, and you have a knack for that.”
Chapter 28
Plea
I backed away a little more, tensing for a fight I couldn’t win. If she chose to attack, I was so damn screwed. Mortal versus god? Just no. No chance whatsoever.
“The fear emanating from you is delicious.” She began walking towards me, one graceful step at a time. “You genuinely regret lashing out at me in the cave. A good start.”
I resumed backing down the hall at the same pace as her approach. She showed no signs of caring, which quickened my racing pulse all the more.
“But not good enough overall. You lack remorse. Regret and remorse are two very different things.”
I reached the end of the hall and continued keeping a gap between us. She’d made my back smart while a fifth my size. I didn’t want to know how much farther and harder she could throw me now. She continued pursuing me me with no change in pace or demeanor, as if she didn’t care if I broke into a run. I probably couldn’t outrun her, much less hide. That filled me with the horrible sense of helplessness.
“You will know remorse once I’m done teaching you.”
I put out a burst of speed and whipped past her and back to the exit pool. I held out my arms and willed the water to move, yield, part—something! Anything but remain as inert as it was. The water felt like an immovable block in my mind. I had a better chance of lifting my ship with my bare human hands than I did stealing control of water held by a god’s will. Desperate, I knelt on the lip and pushed the water with both my claws and mind. I might as well have used my command over water on a mountain. I was hopelessly outmatched in this lopsided battle of wills. I kept my back to Amphitrite and waited for the punishment to begin.
I flinched hard when something small and soft hit my back, then plopped on the ground. The impact hadn’t hurt in the least. A heap of beige material lay at my feet. My trench coat. I’d left it on my chair in the cave. How… thoughtful of her. Or was this a trick? I shied away from it.
Amphitrite laughed. “A little jumpy, are we? Don’t worry, the pain will come, but not by my hand.” She stood inside arm’s reach. “Relax for now, if you can. I’ll be contemplating the details of your punishment while your crew grows old and dies. Enjoy ruminating over that and what I might come up with.” She took a step back and vanished, and I felt the pressure of her presence lift, like the atmosphere after a severe storm has blown through.
She had the remorseless regret part right on. I was regretting attacking her in the cave, but I couldn’t bring myself to feel remorse. She deserved having her ego taken down a few notches—just not by me. Not mere mortal me. A human telling a goddess her ego was too big? Yeah, that’ll never go over well. Definitely regretting the lash out.
Seeing no point in remaining in demon form, I reverted back to human. My skin tingled, the feeling of intoxicating power evaporated, and my body became drenched in sweat as I shrank. Once I was done, I took a moment to catch my breath. My brain needed a moment to orient itself as well, acclimating to human-strength senses and registering what just happened to my body. I was on my hands and knees in my own puddle of sweat, but feeling so much more human. It’s funny how, when we’re all young, we sometimes want to be something more than human—superhuman, maybe—but the price of my demon power was steep. And then there’s something about the validation of what being human means that brings a sense of peace and happiness that nothing else can. Not sure how to explain it, but knowing that I was still human brought me comfort. My demon form, while powerful, robbed me of that feeling every time.
The cave and unyielding pool looked quite large now, with dozens of feet, instead of just a few, over my head. The pool looked olympic-sized, and the hall big enough to swallow my ship. I pushed to my bare feet and reached for the glowing vein of water, praying I could grab enough to rinse off. A portion bulged towards me as old powers tugged it back. I pulled harder and put my body through a spin rinse cycle, then let the water go. It got sucked back into place with vacuum force.
Feeling more hygienic, I crossed to my coat, picked it up, and fastened it around my waist with two buttons, and let the top half drape behind me, making it look like I was wearing a kilt with sleeves. Sure, I could put it on the right way, but the hall was way too warm and humid for that. And sure I could march around in my birthday suit. No one in the palace would care, except me. They were gods, but I was human, a slightly conservative one, so I did the human thing and made a skirt out of my coat.
Just for ha-has, I tested the pool to see if it’d let me swim. Water droplets coated my foot, and the pool might as well have been a room-temperature skating rink.
I stared at the water with absolute despair. The only way I knew how to leave was blocked off. I might never get to see my current crew again. Amphitrite never made idle threats. I didn’t want to watch them grow old and die while I remained the same, but I didn’t want to avoid it like this. Not without so much as a goodbye, no closure, no nothing. This was just as cruel as when the Timor Sea swallowed my then c
rew the night I got cursed. Hopefully they wouldn’t come looking for me. They couldn’t find this place, unless those living here wanted you to find it.
Maybe there was more than one exit.
I took off running down the hall. I didn’t care if this was a waste of effort. I had to try. I’d never know, unless I looked. I took a right at the end. If I remembered right, the gargantuan chamber was one big square with a bunch of halls branching off. My pace faltered when I realized the chamber had to be at least a mile long. It looked longer than an air strip. The rows of glowing pillars ranged so far that I couldn’t count them. I picked my pace back up and ran the entire length anyway, desperation fueling my limbs. The pattering of bare feet on flat stone echoed, making me feel self-conscious. It felt like the sound attracted attention, letting gods watch on unseen, filled with silent laughter while mere more mortal me frantically searched for an escape. As humiliating as this was, I couldn’t bring myself to stop.
There were hallways on the other end, all as big as the first. One ran parallel to the known exit, and the rest sat at intervals along the wall I was facing. Feet sore and lungs burning from running close to two miles in maybe fifteen minutes, I squeezed out the final stretch and veered towards the parallel hall.
Mere feet before I could enter, the opening smoothed over with stone, as if I’d been looking at a water mirage and getting this close revealed the truth. I ground to a wind-sucking halt and braced my hands on the stone. Sure enough, the way was blocked. I pushed on the cool stone twice, then stood back as the truth of the matter sank in. The way was shut.
I hopped back into a jog and continued perpendicular to the suddenly walled-off hall. There were many more along this wall; however, all of them vanished like a mirage, blending in with the rest of the sculpture-covered wall as if they’d never existed. This did not help my mounting dread. Hall after hall let me get tantalizingly close before vanishing as my tender feet slapped out another two miles. Each hall, my hopes rose. Each hall, my hopes were dashed. I paused to catch my breath at the next corner, then steeled myself for one last round of disappointment and walked towards the throne, circumventing it. It felt like I was going around a mountain.
