by S. M. Welles
On the dawn of the day I was let out by Rammus, I caught a quick a quick glimpse of Newport before drifting below deck. They were rebuilding… because of me, they had to rebuild from the ground up. Rammus took one look at me and didn’t say a word. He just put on his serious, no-crap face and led me to the showers.
I cleaned up and took in the puzzle-work of scars covering me head to toe. I’d been bitten and slashed so much. My face was okay, though. I had both eyes, a complete nose, and all my teeth, but I looked like I’d been bitten by a small shark a few times, along with been raked in the neck. My face would stop people, and not for its handsomeness.
Once I was done getting accustomed to my updated appearance, I put on fresh clothes and new boots. Sam had also left me a brand new trench coat hung up on my locker door. I took it off the hanger and looked at it, felt the material, smelled its newness, then sighed and put it on. I didn’t have a good excuse not to. It fit comfortably at least.
Suited up, I headed for the galley. No one was in there and it looked like the place was missing a few items. I couldn’t place what was missing, but I knew for a fact that it was emptier than usual. I chalked it up to whatever took place during the last month and stood before the tin of coffee sitting on a note on the table. I picked up the coffee and read the note, then headed to the stern, as it instructed. My feet carried me there without me really making the decision to head on deck. I felt more like going to my bunk, curling up and just sleeping away the next few years, but maybe I’d do that in the hole that was now my home in Newport.
There was no one wandering around the deck. The air was humid and fog hung low overhead, an appropriately depressing atmosphere to match my mood. No one sat in the wheelhouse, but Sam stood by the stern ladder. He waved me over. I took a sip of coffee I knew tasted wonderful, yet couldn’t seem to enjoy. Everything I did felt habitual, mechanical, automatic. I was existing, instead of living. Sam looked overjoyed to see me. I tried to put on at least a neutral face, but the sight of Newport buried all positive emotions. There were steam-powered machinery scooting all around town, which had been cleaned up a lot. On top of that, wooden skeletons of buildings were everywhere. They were rebuilding already. The sight brought both joy and sorrow.
“Mornin’, Captain,” Sam said lightly.
I really didn’t want him to call me Captain anymore. “Morning. What’s with the note?”
“The whole crew’s got a surprise for you. It should help put you back in a good mood.”
“What kind of surprise?” I wasn’t in the mood for surprises, but I didn’t want to drag Sam’s mood down with me.
“Come find out.” He waved for me to follow him, then headed down the ladder.
I took a few more sips off coffee, then set the tin on the deck and disembarked.
Once my new boots touched the brand new dock, Sam wrapped an arm around my shoulders. I smelled fresh-cut lumber mixed with salt air. I stuck my hands in my coat and let Sam guide me inland, eyes on the ground.
“The navy called in disaster relief. All the branches are here, cleaning up, rebuilding, and making sure everyone gets healed up and fed. The locals are giving out food, too. Say they’ll reinstall the market once everyone’s back on their feet. It’s amazing how humanity comes together in times like this. Brings tears to my eyes. Shows us all how innately good we really are. By the way, the landies you saved that day want to extend their thanks to yeh. And I wanna say thank you for saving my family as well, Captain. You saved the most important part of home.”
It was my fault they needed saving in the first place. I couldn’t bring myself to say “you’re welcome.” I didn’t bother with expressing how horrible I felt either. He didn’t want to hear it and I didn’t want to spread my misery. “How many died?”
Sam squeezed my shoulder and bowed his head. “Around four hundred. The tsunami killed more people than the sea monsters. The latter seemed more interested in razing everything in sight than killing. Whatever you did to send the water into the sky bought thousands of people time. Not enough to save everyone, but a goodly amount. But don’t you worry about that. Newport is being rebuilt, as you can see. It’s gonna come back better than before. No more patch jobs.”
“We lost houses older than me, Sam. So much history got washed away.”
“All things turn to dust. It hurts sometimes, but it’s the way of the world. Nothing’s permanent, except change.”
I knew he was right, so I went quiet. I didn’t want to agree with him. I was too heartsore over the loss of my home and the pieces of history. They’d let me know I wasn’t the oldest thing on this planet that was a part of humanity. And now they were gone while I remained.
Sam led me down dirt streets that had been smoothed out and labeled with new signs. I had a feeling I knew where he was taking me, and I turned out to be right when we stopped at a plot where my childhood home used to stand. In its place stood the beginnings of another home with the same exact structure. Through the network of two-by-fours, I spotted a long table covered in a cloth. Surrounding that table was the crew and the smell of breakfast. Pancakes.
“Surprise, Captain,” Sam said, gesturing to the beginnings of the house. “We helped start getting your house rebuilt once the Pertinacious and crew were all patched up. Your new home is gonna look just like the old one.”
I drew a blank as how to react. So much kindness and help. Everyone moving forward like the devastation had been only a minor speed bump. I walked over to the corner of the skeleton of the house, and rubbed the fresh lumber. The water had been pumped out of the basement. There was nothing in there, not even sand. Every last scrap of my past had been swallowed by the sea. I stared numbly, at a loss for what to do, think, or feel.
“All things turn to dust. C’mon.” Sam led me to the back yard and the enthusiastic chatter died down as they all looked at me. O’Toole ran over, gibbering away, and locked me in a bear hug. I blinked a few times, then pried him off. He smacked a kiss on my cheek, then started gibbering away in his nonsensical speech. I wiped my cheek with a sleeve, a half-smile on my face and a small lump in my throat. If he could still like me after all that crap, maybe there was room for redemption after all. “You are one weird ship idiot, O’Toole,” I said in a thick voice. He lunged for another hug and kiss but, thankfully, I caught him by the arms in time.
Sam said, “Stop that, O’Toole! Once is enough.” The Irishman gibbered some more as he scurried back to the table.
The rest of the crew lined up to welcome me. I got bombarded with hugs and warm welcomes, and a dual ass-grab from Ed and Ted. They laughed at my yelp. I was happy to have such a warm greeting after all the crap we went through, but I just didn’t feel like I deserved any of it. On top of that, I was still absorbing the loss of my home.
Mido hugged and welcomed me after the techies. “No quiche this morning. Hope you don’t mind.”
“No. I’m just glad you’re alive and have chosen to stick around.” If I didn’t have my crew with me right now, I would’ve broken beyond repair.
“Can’t get rid of us that easily.”
He had one leg in a knee brace, and the other in an ankle brace. “How on earth are you on your feet right now?”
“Good pain killers,” he said, then stepped back for the next crew member to welcome me. Jessie.
What little happiness I’d gained vanished. I lost my wan smile, too. She looked whole and hale but lost her smile when our eyes met. Her face mirrored the sorrow weighing my heart down. She stood before me, eyes glistening. A lump formed in my throat and my eyes stung. The one person who’d tried so hard to help me lift my curse, just to fail. I caressed her cheek with a finger, just like after we’d escaped the sea monster that’d chased us that day. She slipped her arms under mine and hugged me, resting her head on my shoulder. I broke down, wrapped her in a tight hug, and fought a lost battle against a flood of tears. “I’m sorry,” I said in a thick whisper. “I’m so sorry. For everything I’ve put you thro
ugh.” She hugged me tighter and I felt her shudder with tears of her own. “I’ve been so blind to how she felt about me. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize for this.”
“No, I do. You’ve all been trying to help me lift my curse so I can live the rest of my days in peace as pure human. I’ve been trying so hard to lift it just so I can die. Instead, so many innocent people I’ve cared about died for my selfishness. I’m sorry. I’m so damn sorry.” We stood there and cried silent tears. I couldn’t move or loosen my hug. I wanted to curl up in a dark hole and cry, but Jessie’s company saved me from hurting alone.
Jessie pulled back and ran a hand through my hair, then cupped my tear-stained cheek. “No apology necessary, Dyne Lavere,” she said in a resonant voice that wasn’t her own. She stepped back, blinked a few times, then the real Jessie looked at me, eyes wide and mouth ajar. Her tearful gaze shifted to over my shoulder. She gasped. So did the rest of my crew.
I spun around. A ten-foot-tall Amphitrite sat astride a kelpie twice as big as a clydesdale, golden mane and brilliant white coat gleaming, despite the fog. The kelpie bent a knee and Amphitrite slid off with the grace only a goddess could muster. It looked more like she floated to the ground, then landed on her bare feet with the lightest of touches.
Head bowed, I walked over to her, stopping once I saw the kelpie’s hooves. “Just take me. I give up.”
“No,” she said gently.
I looked up. What did—?
“I still love you but no. It is I who has gone too far all this time.” Amphitrite lowered to one knee, bring herself eye-level with me.
She’d… she’d never done anything less than look down on me before. I could do nothing but watch in open confusion. She wore the same heartbroken expression Jessie had, but she was also smiling as tears rolled down her cheeks. She really didn’t hate me after all. Even after what I’d done with Rhode. She’d let go of it now that I’d let go of getting cursed.
“Both you and my avatar have opened my eyes to many things. I have much to do from this day forward. I’ve been living in denial for so long, but when you killed Tethys, I could no longer deny the truth. I felt nothing when I forced you to make love to me, nothing but the void in my heart I’ve been trying to fill. And then I felt regret as you broke under my scorn. I’ve gone too far. Much too far. I will always love, but from afar from now on.”
“I’m sorry.” I truly felt sorry for her. Shortly after waking in her bed, I’d developed a hunch she’d been using me to fill an emotional void, and it hadn’t gone well. It sucked falling in love with someone who had no desire to reciprocate. It’d happened to me many times.
“Don’t be. I brought it upon myself. I’ve even tried to force you to love me, yet all our times together can’t compare to the pure joy and emotion those two share with each other.” She gestured to Mido and Jessie. “I’ve been living a false life, but now I know what I must do to fix it, starting with you.” Her voice tightened. “This day is bittersweet. Dyne Lavere, I free you from your curse.”
She lifted my chin with two large, radiant fingers and brought her face close to mine. She kissed me gently on the lips and I felt something pass through my body like I was standing with my back to shore while a wave retreats. She slowly pulled away, taking the curse with her. My entire body went weak and I suddenly couldn’t figure out which way the ground was tilting. Amphitrite guided me to the ground by two fingers without letting me fall. Jessie propped me up against her chest and held my shoulders.
“You are finally free to live out your days as you see fit. You are finally free to grow old and die, as all men must do. Farewell, dear mortal.” She rose and mounted the kelpie, then rode off, hooves thundering and her hair and the kelpie’s mane flying. Poseidon was visible near the shore, astride his own kelpie. So my question in the palace must’ve gotten through to him after all. I watched her departure, until she caught up with her husband and both gods rode out of sight.
And just like that, I was no longer cursed. I was a regular human again. I could die. Or I could live. Right now, I was at a loss for what to do. At the very least, I needed to get back up. I sat upright and took a deep breath. “Help me up.” Sam held out a hand. I took it and he helped pull me onto unsteady feet. I wavered, but I caught myself and held still for a moment. I felt weak, yet felt my strength returning. Once I trusted my feet, I let go of Sam’s hand, wiped my eyes, and faced my crew. They looked ready to dish out another round of hugs, and some ass grabs from two particular techies.
Ed said, “Well this turned out to be an extra celebratory day!” He and Ted came over and escorted me to the table almost faster than my feet could keep up with. My beaming crew congratulated me over and over, and gave me friendly slaps on my back and shoulders I passed them. The two techies half pushed, half guided me into the fold-up seat at the head of the table. It was long enough to accommodate the entire crew, and laden with plates, cutlery, cups, napkins, and bowls of strawberries and green grapes. I just stared dumbly at it all as my brain tried to catch up with what just happened.
The rest of the crew joined me at the table, stepping over the benches and setting cloth napkins on their laps. Jessie and Mido went to a griddle and grill, and took a few trips to bring over heaping plates of pancakes, scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, and ham. I was floored. The effort they’d had to put forth to set up such a grand banquet so far from the ship… I wanted to cry some more, but my brain was deep in blank mode and my emotions couldn’t seem to settle on anything good or bad to feel.
Well this explained why the galley had looked a bit empty.
Rammus laughed. “Captain, you look like you don’t know what to do with yourself.”
“I don’t,” I admitted, staring openly at the steaming feast.
“Start by enjoying breakfast,” Scully said. He poured himself a tin of coffee, then handed me the pot.
I took it and looked at the glass thing a moment. It was like everything in life suddenly had a new perspective and meaning now that I was pure human. It all seemed so precious, instead of endless. “I can do that.” I poured myself a mug.
All twelve of us settled down to filling our plates with a wonderful breakfast, and it really was wonderful. My smile was full and genuine. My heart still ached, but I had so many reasons to be happy right then. I would never forget this day.
Rammus, seated on my right, got to his feet and stood behind the bench and held up his hands. “Now, before we all dig in, Captain, I believe you mentioned a few days ago that you had things you wanted to discuss as a crew.”
I looked at Rammus, then at the rest of my crew. Ed hastily put down his fork and covered his mouth, then looked at me with apologetic eyes. I pushed to my feet and smoothed down the front of my coat. “In light of my sudden curse-free status, I have to admit that everything I had prepared to say just went out the window.” There was no need to relinquish my role as Captain anymore, nor go into hiding from the rest of the world. Retirement was in order, but not today. I was no longer a hazard any more than the next person. “Instead, I’d like to express my gratitude to all of you for sticking with me through all this. It’s far more kindness than I deserve. So thank you. All of you.” I grabbed my mug. “And to you especially, Jessie, the avatar who successfully helped me lift my curse. You’ve gone above and beyond. I can’t thank you enough.”
She raised her mug to me. “You’re welcome. You’re very welcome.”
“And I guess this means we can start calling you Amphitrite now, seeing as how there won’t be any confusion and such.”
She made a pensive frown. “I kind of feel like ‘Jessie’ suits me better now.”
“Well that saves us the trouble of remembering,” Sam said lightly.
The rest of my crew laughed. I held up my mug and all eyes fell on me again. “To a new chapter in our lives.” They all echoed my words and a round of mug-clinking followed, and then we all tucked in to my first breakfast as pure human in well over t
wo hundred years.
Chapter 33
To Ocean’s End
I woke up to an alarm clock beeping away on the first morning of my lockdown that didn’t need to take place. I shot a hand out of my bunk and groped around the floor until I found the darn thing, and smacked the off button. I let out a relieved sigh, then gave my ears a moment to register the peaceful hum of the noise machine emanating from the hall. My brain stopped tricking itself into thinking it was still hearing the alarm, and I slid out of my bunk and stood before the cloth curtain nailed and taped over my cabin door.
I knew I wasn’t cursed anymore but, after almost two hundred and fifty years of monthly lockdowns, old habits die hard. I also knew being exposed to a light source wouldn’t trigger a transformation, but that voice of doubt was annoyingly loud in my head.
I took a deep breath in hopes of calming my nerves, then reached for the tape sealing the cloth to the doorframe as I kicked aside my boots, which were anchoring down the base. I paused with my hand near the tape as my heart rate skyrocketed. I knew I wasn’t gonna transform. I’d felt the curse leave me. But…
I steeled myself and ripped the tape away before I could chicken out. Soft hall lighting snuck in, and then the cloth fell back into place, memory of Jessie sneaking into my container with a lantern flashing across my mind. My heart lodged in my throat as I stifled a cry of alarm. I stood there, frozen with fear, until I realized I felt no tingling or aching sensations. I whipped aside the curtain and stuck out a bare arm. I scrutinized myself for any signs of color change but my skin tone remained human. I stepped into the hallway and braced myself for the tingling and aching, but I remained feeling no more than a little sleepy.
An emotional lump formed in my throat. I padded my way to the deck and into the pale light of dawn in just my shorts. Fog was thin today. The sun’s golden glow reached up from the east. The air was cool and humid. Newport was only beginning to wake up to another day of construction. The town itself was beginning to take shape after a month, but shape it had, coming back better than before. And here I was, standing in sunlight and watching workers sleepily make their way to one site or another, while I was supposed to be in lockdown—used to supposed to be. Here I was, completely human, able to enjoy watching the sun rise any day of the month. After all these years…
