Love after Marriage

by Chandra, Bhagya

  “Roshni, look at me,” said Prashant.

  Roshni refused to look at his face.

  Prashant insisted, “Roshni, please look at me. Look into my eyes and tell me the truth. Is everything all right?”

  Roshni had tears in her eyes. She tried to hide them, but Babuji noticed she was crying. He came to her, hugged her, and slowly took her to the family room so they could talk.

  “Beti, what is the matter? You can tell me. It was my responsibility to get you married to Deepak, but something tells me you are not happy.”

  Roshni fell on Babuji’s chest and started crying like a little child. Prashant tried to console her, and after a few minutes, she controlled herself. “Everything is not all right, Babuji.”

  Prashant’s heart sank. He dreaded this. He wanted to know more and pounded several questions at her.

  “Babuji, Deepak was not ready for this marriage. He felt he was forced into it,” responded Roshni.

  “What! But why? I talked to Sashank, and this alliance was initiated only after Deepak’s approval.”

  “Deepak does not believe in arranged marriages. He wanted to find his own girl! He was not ready to get into wedlock with a stranger.”

  Prashant’s heart was racing; he trembled. A million questions, a great turbulence in his mind, he simply hugged his daughter. “I am saddened, bete. I absolutely had no clue. Does Sashank know of all this?”

  “No, based on what Deepak told me, Sashank bhaiya does not believe in love marriages. Both brothers had some disagreements, and finally Deepak agreed to this because he did not want to disappoint Sashank bhaiya.”

  Prashant sighed. “He could not disappoint Sashank, but he could upset you and ruin your life? Is this all right with him? Oh, Deepak – we could have avoided this marriage,” he said.

  Roshni watched her father shatter completely. He took the blame for not probing into this, and she was torn to see her father suffer. She came to him. “Babuji, I had a long conversation with Deepak. I also discussed the promise I made to you about his brothers.”

  Prashant looked at her with wide open eyes. “What did he say? How did he react? So what’s next for you both? Oh, Roshni, so many questions, I am very agitated. I am responsible for ruining your life, my dear. I wish I had some clue of this.” Prashant hugged her and cried.

  “Babuji, you did what you thought was right. You found a good boy and got me married. It was not your fault, neither was it Sashank bhaiya’s.” She wiped her tears. “Probably it was all my fate that I had to go through this. There’s nothing you can do!”

  “So what have you both decided? Did you talk about it?”

  “Yes, I talked about it. Deepak wanted some time and requested some understanding and patience.”

  Prashant became furious. “What? Understanding and patience! What was he thinking? Does he even have any common sense?”

  Prashant was angry with Deepak. His daughter’s life was shattered. His convictions, his beliefs were torn to pieces.

  “Babuji, I don’t know what he meant by asking for some time. However, I don’t want to continue to be married to him. He used me to please Sashank bhaiya, and this is disgraceful.”

  She came closer to Prashant, looking at his sad face. “By God’s grace, you got me educated, and I have a good job. I can survive. I don’t need him.”

  Prashant could not take this anymore. “Roshni, why are you saying this? Please, it pains me intensely to hear this. Shall I talk with Sashank?”

  She instantly interrupted and shouted loudly, “No! Please don’t do this; it will cause more harm. It impacted you, and I cannot discuss this with anyone.” She continued after a pause, “And what is the use, Babuji? We will create more problems for Sashank and Akash bhaiya, especially now that they have become very friendly with me and have opened up. Did you notice? They seemed happier too.” Roshni smiled and waited for Prashant to acknowledge this.

  Prashant shook his head and approved.

  Roshni continued, “At least let me focus on these brothers at this time.”

  Prashant wanted to know what was next for his daughter, and Roshni was careful; he’d had a heart attack earlier, and this conversation itself was a little too stressful for him. She tried to give as few details as possible. Finally, she took a deep breath. “Babuji, it is all over. Only time will tell. Let’s wait and see what is in store for me!”

  Prashant admired the courage his daughter exhibited. He hugged her. “Roshni, I am so proud of you. You handled this so maturely, with so much confidence and courage. You can come and stay with me; don’t hesitate.”

  Roshni mentioned to her babuji that she wanted to see more changes in Sashank and Akash, and if eventually they got married and settled, that was the biggest gift this marriage could give her.

  Father and daughter hugged each other. Prashant assured her that he was always there for her. Roshni asked Babuji not to reveal this to anybody. That evening passed with Kusum visiting them. After dinner Prashant went to his room and started to pace – he was in a dilemma. How could he help Roshni? His only daughter, why did she have to go through this? He hoped for a good husband for her and wanted her to have a happy married life. Why did this have to happen to her? These questions disturbed him.

  ~ ~ ~

  It was Sunday morning, and Babuji had not left his room yet. It was unusual for him to sleep this late. Roshni had chai and checked with Rahim chacha, and he responded that Babuji had not had chai yet. Worried, she went to his room and was stupefied to see the sight – Babuji sat in his chair with his head dropped to the side. Roshni, with her hands to her mouth in shock, ran closer to him and called him. He did not respond. She became nervous and asked Rahim chacha to call their neighbor Dr. Thomas, who arrived and examined Babuji. Later he pronounced him dead.

  Roshni was rattled. She fell on Prashant’s lap and cried, “Babuji, Babuji!”

  Dr. Thomas and Rahim chacha consoled her. Dr. Thomas asked Rahim chacha to inform everybody. Sashank and Kusum were informed of this sad news. Everybody in the neighborhood became aware of the news, and the public started to pour in to express their condolences.

  Roshni believed that he could not take the shock of her marriage and passed away with a massive heart attack.

  Sashank arrived with Akash and Kaki. He could not believe it! He’d lost a very good friend. Sashank hugged Roshni and consoled her. He had several questions of the hows and whys. Roshni wept; she did not give any details to Sashank.

  Kusum arrived, and after greeting Roshni’s in-laws, she came to Roshni. Both of them hugged.

  “Look, Kusum didi, he left me alone and went away…when Amma passed away, I was very young, but he became both mother and father to me, and now he left me alone.” She hugged Kusum and wept.

  Kusum consoled Roshni and again the same questions…what had happened, especially since she was there the previous evening. Roshni had no answer except she believed that the conversation she had about her wedding had an impact and he passed away. Of course she could not discuss this with anybody. It was a struggle she endured alone…nobody to share her sorrow!

  Sashank helped take care of the last rites for Prashant. Everything was over. Babuji was the one support Roshni had, and he was gone. She felt guilty for telling him the truth about her and Deepak. What if she had not told him the truth? He would have lived for a few more years. Why did he suspect that she was not happy? He was her babuji – he knew her so well, she didn’t have to tell him.

  Then the thoughts continued…why was she being tested? What did she do that she had to face these troubles? She’d lost her mother when she was very young. Babuji got her married, hoping she would have a happy married life, but that turned out to be a failure, and now…Babuji himself had to go. Why? She wept as these thoughts occupied her mind. What should she do now? Where would she go for any help or support? Her only family now was Sashank bhaiya and Akash bhaiya. The future was uncertain! A feeling of insecurity gripped her.

  Sasha
nk decided to stay with Roshni for a few days. He asked Akash to call Deepak and inform him of this news. Kusum decided to stay, and Sashank was grateful that Kusum was there for some moral support for Roshni. The house had a gloomy atmosphere. Sashank had seen Kusum and talked very briefly to her during Roshni’s wedding, but now he interacted with her more often. He thanked Kusum for her help.

  Akash went home and called Deepak to inform him of Prashant’s death. Deepak was in disbelief. He asked Akash several questions, and he was worried for Roshni! He enquired about Roshni and hung up the phone, telling Akash that he would talk to Roshni.

  Deepak called Roshni, and understandably, she was very depressed and heartbroken. She went through a mixed emotional response: sadness, guilt, anger and insecurity! She was unable to talk, and she asked Deepak to talk to her later.

  Deepak talked to Kusum didi and thanked her; he talked to Sashank bhaiya and thanked him as well. They agreed to talk after a few days.

  Sashank wanted Roshni to come home, but she refused to go until the 13th Day Ceremony was completed.

  Sashank and Kusum remained with Roshni for a few days, and it was during this time that they interacted with each other. Kusum saw that Sashank was very caring of Roshni and was worried for her. Sashank was impressed at the efficiency with which Kusum consoled Roshni and assisted with all the ceremonies at home. Prashant had introduced her as his sister, and truly, she took charge and managed everything around the house.

  Sashank returned home after a few days, feeling satisfied that Kusum was with Roshni until all the ceremonies were completed.

  After the 13th Day Ceremony, Roshni came to her house and brought Rahim chacha with her as he had nowhere to go. All welcomed Rahim chacha into the family.

  Chapter 10

  Deepak’s friends, Vivek and Vaishali, meet Roshni

  Roshni gradually got over the shock of losing her babuji. Everybody at home genuinely tried to keep her happy. Kusum visited Roshni frequently, and because of these visits, she interacted with Sashank and Akash as well. Over time, Sashank developed a liking for her. He enjoyed chatting with her, and Roshni saw they were very comfortable with each other. There were a few occasions when Sashank invited Kusum to stay over for dinner or lunch just because it was that time, and this was a big change in Sashank’s personality. Roshni noticed that he was interested in Kusum, and a thought flashed in her mind. Should she approach Sashank bhaiya to see if he was interested in marrying Kusum didi?

  Knowing Sashank bhaiya, she decided to wait for the right time.

  ~ ~ ~

  It was the middle of March, when one day Roshni came home to find Sashank talking to a couple. Sashank introduced them to Roshni as Vivek and Vaishali, who came from the US to meet Vivek’s father, who was recovering from a heart attack. Both greeted Roshni. A few minutes later, Akash joined them for a conversation while Sashank left.

  Vivek noticed a dramatic difference in Sashank’s and Akash’s personalities; both brothers appeared very happy. The environment in the house itself was very welcoming and positive. Everything in the house seemed very lively. Vivek was very pleased to see these changes and believed Roshni played a big role, especially since Deepak had mentioned to them about her promise.

  “Roshni bhabhi,” Vivek addressed Roshni.

  Roshni’s eyes popped open after she heard herself being addressed as bhabhi.

  “Sashank bhaiya told me about your babuji. Please accept our condolences. I hope you are coping well,” Vivek said.

  Roshni just nodded.

  “I am so happy to meet you and also to see all the wonderful changes in this house,” Vivek added.

  Akash interrupted him at this time. “Vivek, did you notice how lighthearted and joyful we are now.” He pointed to Roshni. “It is all because of her. She is God’s grace to us.” He placed his arm around her shoulders and very proudly added, “She is my sister-in-law, but I treat her as my little sister. We are very grateful to her.”

  Vivek agreed, and Vaishali watched. She was all admiration for Roshni. The changes they talked about, her composure, mannerisms – everything about her was different. She definitely stood apart from everybody. How could Deepak do what he did to her?

  Meanwhile Vivek asked Roshni to join them for dinner one day. Roshni hesitated, but Vivek insisted because he and Vaishali wanted to talk to her. Vaishali reiterated, and Roshni agreed. They confirmed the plan to meet at a restaurant. After chai and snacks, Vivek and Vaishali left.

  On the way back, Vivek said to Vaishali, “Vaishali, I never saw these two brothers so contented and jovial. What a remarkable contrast in their personalities. Roshni really did a great job. I am so happy for them. I should communicate this to Deepak; he will be so pleased to hear this.”

  “She seems like a very nice person, very admirable. It is very unfortunate that Deepak did what he did to her,” replied Vaishali.

  Vivek concurred with her thoughts. “We should talk to her at the restaurant about Deepak and how he regrets what happened, and see what she says,” Vivek said.

  Vaishali agreed, and they had a plan to talk to Roshni.

  ~ ~ ~

  It was Friday, and Roshni informed everybody at home that she would be late that evening as she was going to dinner with Vivek and Vaishali. She met them at the restaurant. They were given a table and ordered. During the conversation, Vivek addressed Roshni as ‘bhabhi’, and Roshni asked him not to address her as such. Both Vivek and Vaishali got a glimpse of her directness!

  Vivek justified that since she was his friend’s wife, he addressed her as such, but Roshni said, “Vivek ji and Vaishali ji, I am not sure if Deepak explained it to you, but we don’t have a relationship anymore.”

  “Roshni ji, may I address you that way?” he asked her permission, and Roshni assented. “Yes, Deepak talked to us about it and explained everything,” Vivek replied.

  “We concur with you. Deepak made a big mistake. He should not have said those things to you.” Vivek looked at her. “And we really wanted to talk to you, so we invited you to this dinner.”

  “I don’t know if there is anything more to say,” Roshni replied. “Your friend, I mean Deepak, was the one who initiated this.” She paused and suddenly said, “And by the way, did he ask you both to talk to me about this?”

  “No, Roshni, may I call you Roshni,” Vaishali asked, and Roshni nodded. “Actually, Deepak does not know we are talking to you about this topic. We were very annoyed with Deepak. As a matter of fact, he himself is regretting what he did. He was nervous and mentally disturbed and wanted to share the reasons for his distress but made a big mess out of everything.”

  Vaishali continued, “I guess this can happen when one does not know how to interact with women or express one’s feelings!”

  Vaishali waited for Vivek to say something.

  “What happened was terribly wrong, Roshni, and I know Deepak is regretting it. Can you please forgive him?” requested Vivek.

  “Forgive him for what? For being so rude to me on our wedding night? For saying that he was forced into this marriage, or telling me that he was not ready to commit to a stranger, that is, me?” Roshni retorted. “He deceived me, his brother, my father, everybody. He could have spoken to me before the wedding, and I….I would have stopped this wedding. Why was he not truthful? I don’t respect him,” she said, perturbed.

  The food was served. Roshni became aware that she was talking a bit loudly and apologized to Vivek and Vaishali. “It is too late now. It is best that we separate. He can continue his relationship with the girl he likes. It does not matter to me now.”

  Vivek and Vaishali appreciated her courage.

  Vivek tried to talk to her. “Roshni ji, we certainly agree with you that Deepak made a big blunder. However, you are mature…please think about this decision. It is a tough decision. Breaking a relationship is easy, but forgiving him and moving forward is a big step. I don’t think Deepak is matured, but you can change him. Look what you did to his brothe
rs. I have known Sashank bhaiya and Akash bhaiya for several years and never saw them so carefree and radiant. Look at the influence you had on them. I am so glad.”

  “Vivek ji, I agree. I did not want this relationship to end this way either. I married him with an expectation, with a resolution to make this work like any other marriage.” Roshni looked at them. “You are married. Don’t you have any misunderstandings?”

  Both Vivek and Vaishali agreed they had misunderstandings.

  “Does that mean you separate? No, right? Misunderstandings occur in love and arranged marriages. When both partners are committed to the marriage, they will work at it wholeheartedly. They have to have faith and work with perseverance towards this relationship.” She shrugged her shoulders. “Love, affection, etc., all come as time goes by, but if one partner enters a relationship with preconceived notions regarding compatibility, those relationships do not last,” Roshni said, justifying her actions.

  Vivek and Vaishali stared at each other and enjoyed the conversation. She had such mature ideas!

  “Both of them have to work together as a team to make it happen. One person cannot do it alone. Agreed, initially there is little or no compatibility in arranged marriages; however, there is trust, understanding, compromise, commitment, and these take over everything else. In no time, the marriage will be successful, love after marriage develops, and this lasts forever. Don’t you agree?” she genuinely asked.

  Both Vivek and Vaishali agreed with Roshni. They understood – although Roshni had a strong personality, she was very accommodating and compromising. It was discernible; she was very affected by what Deepak had said.

  After dinner, Vivek listened to Roshni and then addressed her, “Roshni ji, you are so advanced in your thinking, very educated, and I heard that you have a very good job as well. If I can take the liberty…as if I were your older brother…and make a suggestion: please rethink the decision you made regarding Deepak. I’ve known him for a very long time, and he is a very nice gentleman, very loving and caring. Unfortunately childhood played a big role on him, like his brothers. I am sure if he saw what you did with his family, he would never ever say anything regarding arranged marriages.”