by Kathryn Moon
I sat up straight, and Rake’s touch slid away. There, that was done. It wasn’t everything, but it was the shape of it and…
“Lola, gorgeous, look at me,” Leo said, waiting through a long silence before I could bring myself to raise my eyes. His hand came up and cupped my chin to hold me under the gentle pin of his stare. “You are safe here. You are safe with me and Rake. You’re safe with our alphas too; they won’t ever touch you like that. Those men, those complete scumbags? They’re not going to ever touch you again at all. We will make sure of it.”
“It’s my own fault.”
“No, it’s not,” Leo said firmly.
“I took Baby’s scent.”
Leo’s eyes rolled lightly, but it was Rake who spoke. “You think betas haven’t grabbed hugs from me and tried to catch an alpha’s attention? An alpha can tell the difference. Those guys were predators, plain and simple.”
“If I hadn’t been such a desperate wh—” I said, my fingernails digging grooves in my palms as my fists tightened in frustration.
“Hush. No, Lola.” Leo rose up on his knees, scooting as close as my folded legs would allow. “I know what you’re thinking and I’ve been there, I have. But this isn’t about designation, I promise you. You gave those fuckers something they didn’t deserve, and they abused the opportunity. That’s not going to happen again, okay?”
I stared up at him and Leo’s palm covered the side of my throat, his thumb pressing to the corner of my jaw.
“Okay?” he asked.
I didn’t know how to answer. How could he know? What if I grew weak again, needy for attention, approval? But Leo looked so certain. He’d come out of his relationship with Odette and found himself in an amazing pack. Was he just assuming I could do the same because he had?
“Lola,” Leo pleaded, brow furrowing.
I nodded, leaning into his hand. “Okay,” I said, mostly because I hated seeing Leo in any kind of pain.
Leo sighed and bent to me, his lips against the top of my head, deep breaths ruffling my hair.
“Is it okay if I text Wes what you said about the Hangmen and the charges? If there are warrants out for Indy, it might help him track through any leads,” Rake said.
“Do it,” Leo said, muffled by my hair, not waiting for me to respond.
I checked my cheeks, but they were still dry after my initial tears. I felt…kind of hollow. It wasn’t exactly a relief, and I didn’t feel unburdened. More like by sharing what had happened with Rake and Leo, I’d sort of carved myself open to be inspected.
Leo shifted, and within a minute and a few clumsy twists and shuffles, his back was to his padded headboard and I was cradled in his lap. He didn’t speak, and when Rake finished texting he settled his head against my hip in silence, his hand reaching back to cup around Leo’s ankle. Second by second and minute by minute, the hollowness seemed to ease. No one offered me any platitudes or pity. Every one of Leo’s breaths against my skin was gentle and reassuring enough on its own. Rake’s frown was thoughtful, but every few minutes he would nuzzle his cheek against me.
I was safe here with these men, and if I could hold onto this, maybe I would be all right.
Sixteen
Matthieu
The house was eerily quiet with Rake and Leo locked away with Lola, music missing from the kitchen and the pack all keeping to their own quarters. Rake had gone silent from the group chat after delivering the biggest blow yet.
Indy, Vice President of The Hangmen MC. Wanted for sex trafficking.
It was both too much and too little information about the skittish young beta who’d caught the eye of…
Well, our whole damn pack.
I left my own rooms, trying and failing not to look in at Leo’s as I headed for the stairs. The lights were off and I couldn’t hear any voices. Was she still here? Probably. I couldn’t imagine Leo letting her leave after hearing a bomb like that.
Was she one of the…
I swallowed and shook my head, hurrying down to the third floor. Sure enough, Wes was in his office, desk light on and casting a beastly shadow against the wall, a monstrous version of the gentle giant slouched in front of the computer screen. Thin glasses reflected the screen’s glare, and Wes didn’t so much as twitch until I pulled a chair up to his side and sank down, staring blindly at the information on the screen.
“Anything?”
“A lot. Not much useful yet. I couldn’t get in to locate where the text might’ve come from, but I’ve got a guy on it,” Wes said.
“And no one’s spotted him?”
Wes sighed and leaned back, rolling his shoulder and then reaching up to dig his fingers against his forehead. “Honestly? They caught sixteen men. A few more died in the altercation. There were plenty of bulletins posted about this guy, but as far as I can tell, not a lot of work has gone into tracking him down. A fuckin’ year of moving around and getting good at hiding. Or getting lazy, if I’m lucky.”
“A year,” I echoed. Lola had lived with this for a year.
“A bit more than, yeah. How is she?”
“How should I know?”
Wes grunted and nodded, crossing his arms behind his head and closing his eyes. I wanted to urge him to work, to do more, to find the bastard, but Wes would. And I knew shit about tracking someone through the internet.
“Do you think it’s good…her being here?” Wes asked.
I tore my gaze off the meaningless screen to stare back at him. “For her or for us?”
Wes’ frown deepened. “Us? I meant for her, but why would you…”
“I think she is safe here, and if she’s not uncomfortable, then yes. It’s good for her. For us?” My head wobbled, and I reached up to scratch at my chin. “If Leo was not a part of our pack, he would marry that girl before the year was up. But what if she can’t bring herself to become a part of a pack with alphas in it? He can’t, he wouldn’t leave Caleb and Rake. So will he lose her? Will she lose him?”
“We’re not like this guy. She’ll see that.”
“Maybe,” I said.
Wes huffed and sat up, head shaking. “No, Matt. Look at this shit.” He moved his mouse and tapped his keyboard and up came a window with more familiar contents. A criminal record. Joseph ‘Indy’ Franks. He sneered at me through a small photo on the screen, gaze pale and skin pocked. He had a shaved head and sharp, thin features.
“Battery, battery, sexual battery, robbery, drug possession, five more counts of battery,” Wes rattled off.
“Fils de pute,” I hissed.
Wes, used to my slips back into French, just hummed with agreement. “Yeah, but I wouldn’t blame the mother. Did a little research, and his dad stayed clean, but some of the other pack fathers were nasty pieces of work on their own. So trust me when I say, we are noticeably not like this fucker.”
I wasn’t sure it would matter. Or I was…trying not to be optimistic. Wes was watching me carefully, and I shook my head. Better to admit it to him.
“Okay. So she stays with Leo and, let’s be honest, Rake too. She gets used to the rest of us. I…”
“You’re attracted to her,” Wes finished bluntly. I glared at him, and his eyebrows jumped. “Oh, I’m sorry. Am I supposed to be shocked? She’s fuckin’ gorgeous, Matt. I’m not immune either.”
“You don’t think that’s a conflict?”
“Are you incapable of keeping your shit together if she isn’t interested in you?” Wes asked.
“No! Well. No. But also, I don’t know. It wasn’t an issue with Leo.”
“It might’ve been,” Wes said with a shrug. “I mean, no, you’re not attracted to Leo. But you and him get along. You have similar tastes in architecture, in food. Before Leo, Rake dated plenty of other men and women that you didn’t like. Do you like Lola?”
“I don’t know, it’s hard to tell.” Yes, although I suspected that was the base hindbrain physical attraction talking. I liked her work for the magazine. I liked that, despite all the challenges
it presented to her own personal comfort, she was making an effort for Leo to be more open to the pack. She was terrified of alphas, but she was trying. My own girlfriend, Carolyn, didn’t even like sitting at the same table as my pack during events. But I didn’t really know Lola, and the problem was that I wanted to.
“I worry that any interest I might have will make her uncomfortable,” I said. “I shouldn’t even be wondering about this. Carolyn…”
“Carolyn has never wanted a place with us, just you,” Wes finished for me. “I suppose you’re right. Lola’s a long way from being ready to look at this pack as a whole. I don’t know what that will mean in the long run. Speaking of Carolyn, how did she take you canceling your dinner plans?”
I shouldn’t have been surprised. Wes kept track of us, it was as much his job as it was his role in the pack. “Reasonably,” I said, and Wes huffed.
Carolyn took everything reasonably. It was why our relationship had worked as well as it did for as long as it had. She was comfortable in her independence, preferred our relationship outside of the bounds of my pack, and seemed to have no concerns about what that meant for us long term. Hell, it had been long term now, three years and counting. In the absence of a partner who wanted to be a part of my pack, having one who was happy to continue in a perpetual state of dating and living separately was a blessing.
“Do you think you’ll find him?” I asked, staring at the face on the screen again.
“Honestly? Probably only if he continues to harass her. The bolder he gets, the easier he should be to find. But…”
But none of us wanted that for her.
“I’ll find him,” Wes said, voice darkening and eyes narrowing at the screen.
I nodded. Wes was usually too modest for his own good. If he was determined to find this little shithead, then he would.
“I’ll leave you to it. But don’t forget to sleep,” I said.
Wes leaned forward in his seat and ignored me as I got up from my own. He knew his own limits, but he’d probably push them anyway. I couldn’t blame him. I’d come running to the house at Caleb’s message, knowing perfectly well there wasn’t really anything I could do.
You’re starting to sound like a mid-life crisis, I warned myself as I headed for the stairs.
I followed the siren call of sizzling bacon down the stairs to the kitchen the next morning. My steps slowed at the first notes of feminine murmurs and I debated retreating, offering Lola space. And then a second, clearer, female voice sounded, and my heart stuttered.
Shit. Carolyn.
I hurried down the stairs and into the kitchen, pausing at the sight of Carolyn’s back to me. Her red hair was plaited in a thick braid, and she was dressed casually for a woman who didn’t own jeans and didn’t believe leggings were pants. Rake and Lola stood across the island from her, Lola’s head turned to watch Leo cooking with a trace of a smile on her lips and her light hair rumpled around her head. Rake was the first person to see me and he smirked, brow raising slightly.
I wiped the panic off my face just before Lola twisted and caught sight of me too. She was dressed in a combination of men’s clothing, slightly dwarfed in fabric, and she didn’t look startled to see me, although she leaned into Rake’s side as she glanced over me.
“Carolyn brought pastries,” Rake said in greeting.
Carolyn twisted in place, leaning against the giant steel island, and her smile reached her eyes as she took me in. “There you are. I didn’t realize you were such a late sleeper.”
I wasn’t usually up half the night tossing in my sheets.
“I wouldn’t have slept in if I’d known you were coming,” I said, crossing the open space to her side and leaning in for a brief kiss against her lips, aware of Rake’s amusement across from us.
“Coffee?” Rake asked.
“No.”
“Please,” I said at the same moment Carolyn refused.
“I thought I’d come and check on you since things sounded kind of dire last night when you canceled,” Carolyn explained.
I resisted the urge to grimace, but I couldn’t stop my gaze from flicking to Lola, seeing her lips flatten and her eyes drop to the counter. Leo shot a soft glare at me over his shoulder before returning to his cooking.
“You can always come to the house, Carolyn, you know that. Especially with pastries,” Rake added, softening the scratch of his mild taunt. “Lola, would you grab the almond milk from the fridge?”
Since when did my eyes have such a mind of their own? It was like I was physically incapable of pulling them off the younger woman. When she moved away from the counter and headed for the fridge, I got the first glimpse of her bare legs. I put my back to the open room and met Carolyn’s stare with another smile.
“How long have you been waiting?” I asked.
“Not long. Just getting formally introduced to Lola. How is everything today?” Carolyn asked in return.
“Everything today is peaceful,” Leo answered for me, pushing bacon out of a skillet and onto an open plate before cracking eggs into a pan.
I nodded at Carolyn in support of his answer. Lola’s scent was faint under the smells of cooking and Rake’s perfume, and her sweet acidity contrasted with his rich scent and Carolyn’s faint florals. Lola’s smell reminded me of the paper cups of flavored ice I’d had as a child, and it gave me a similar impulse to lick.
I cleared the thought out of my head and nodded to the paper bag in front of Carolyn, waggling my eyebrows at my girlfriend. “Do I smell butter?”
Carolyn’s expression brightened. “Your favorite croissants, yes.”
“And bacon and eggs? I feel very spoiled this morning,” I said.
Brightened by her success, Carolyn resisted the urge to glare at the cup of coffee Rake slid to me. She never admitted to disliking my omega, and as my relationship with Rake wasn’t sexual, I could only assume that Carolyn resented my need of him at all. But that was the thing with my pack, I didn’t need them. And they didn’t really need me. We were just happy together, as we were.
Carolyn was the most accepting woman I’d dated when it came to my pack, but I couldn’t help wondering if there wasn’t something better than this compartmentalized version of a relationship.
“So, Lola, how did you meet Rake?”
Restraint slipped through my fingers, and I turned to find Lola sitting up on the counter near Leo, looking perfectly at home in our space. I smiled unconsciously at the picture.
“On set for a Designate photoshoot. I’m a new hire in the beauty department.”
“Oh! So you’re all tangled up in the pack then,” Carolyn mused.
I knew my girlfriend wasn’t doing an intentional job of antagonizing Lola, but I was scrambling to think of the best way of getting the two women separated as quickly as possible.
“Where are the others, by the way?” Carolyn asked, looking around the kitchen as if it might’ve been possible to hide Wes anywhere in the room. Unlikely. The man was a giant.
“Plates please,” Leo announced. Rake rushed to follow the order as Leo broke off a piece of bacon and hand fed it to Lola. They shared a gentle look that made my heart twist, and I was relieved to study the feeling and find it wasn’t jealousy, just a kind of appreciative gratitude for them both.
“Would everyone like a croissant? Matt says the ones from Armand’s are the closest thing in the city to a good Parisian.”
“Two please,” I said, earning an eye-roll from Carolyn as everyone echoed a ‘yes.’
“You eat like a garbage disposal,” Carolyn muttered.
I shook my head. “No. My taste is far too good for that.”
Lola huffed a soft laugh and drew my gaze again like a magnet, but this time I tore it away before she noticed.
“What do you think of taking our plates out to the garden deck?” Leo asked, and Rake nodded quickly. “You’re welcome to join us,” Leo added to me, carrying the skillet to dole out greasy eggs and bacon on every plate.
/> “No, we’ll leave you to it,” I said before Carolyn could speak.
Leo nodded, and Lola slid down from the counter, miles of long leg ahead of her. Rake draped his arm over Lola’s shoulder, the trio left the kitchen, and awkward silence followed in their wake.
Carolyn nudged her food around her plate, and I glanced at my own. Only one croissant, but Carolyn wasn’t likely to finish her own, so I could take it. She wasn’t very likely to eat much of anything on the plate. Leo had cooked comfort food to satisfy a salty craving. Three years into our relationship, and I’d discovered a very small collection of things that Carolyn craved.
Quiet.
Shower sex.
And red wine with Diet Coke, although it’d been a year into dating before she’d revealed that one.
“You work awfully hard at ignoring that gorgeous young woman, Matt,” Carolyn murmured softly.
That was true. And I debated taking the hit, letting Carolyn see the worst of the situation, but the urge to defend myself rose up quickly.
“She’s uncomfortable around alphas. I suspect the others are giving them space,” I said, offering an answer to her earlier question.
Carolyn’s eyes widened. “Oh. Oh. I see.” She blushed and shook her head, tearing off a piece of flaky croissant and slipping it into her mouth. “I wondered why she was here when you said there was a pack emergency but it’s…it was something to do with her?”
I frowned and studied my own plate, and Carolyn nodded.
“It’s all right, I don’t need to know details. I understand. I guess I got…” Carolyn let out a soft laugh. “I got jealous.”
“Did you think I was fooling around with them?” I asked, brow furrowing.
Carolyn visibly swallowed, green eyes going wide. “Maybe…maybe a bit.”
