by Dayo Benson
“Hey,” Jace returned. “What have you been up to?”
“Not much.”
“Got any plans for New Year’s Eve?”
“No.” Monica was hitting a couple bars with Sandy, but I wasn’t going. “Did you want to do something?”
“Um, I have plans, sorry.” Jace was quiet for a moment. I heard him exhale. “Lexi, I’m really sorry. I can’t believe I’m doing this, but I have to.”
“What?” I asked. I was surprised at how normal my voice sounded even though my heart was hammering against my ribs. It was over. Michelle had told me that he had a reputation as a heartbreaker. This was the part where he broke my heart. Something inside prompted me to end it first so that I could be the dumper rather than the dumpee, so to speak. But then again, what if he wasn’t trying to break up? I rolled my eyes. Why was I harboring hope? It was obvious.
Jace breathed a heavy sigh. “Lexi, I don’t want you to hate me, but we have to break up.”
I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to ask him why, but my mouth wouldn’t work. I just felt frozen.
“Lexi, I’m sorry. I don’t believe I’m saying this to you.”
From somewhere, I found the strength to speak. “Are you done?”
“Yeah, but please don’t be mad at me.”
I couldn’t believe I had trusted Jace. I’d fallen for him totally and completely, and now he wanted to break up without even giving any kind of reason. My pride didn’t let me ask for one. I could feel my temperature rising. “Bye, Jace.”
Jace sighed, again. “Bye.”
I hung up and sat on my bed blinking back tears. I didn’t want to cry over him. We’d dated for barely two weeks. He wasn’t worth it.
My mom called me to come for dinner, but I ignored her. Jace had dumped me! The pain was like a stab to the heart. Was Christmas Eve that bad that it had to come to this?
My mom came to my room when I didn’t answer her calls to dinner. “Lexi, what’s the matter?” she asked, her eyes full of concern.
I didn’t want to tell her, but if I didn’t, she’d think it was because I was missing my dad. “Jace dumped me.”
Chapter 22
My mom told me Jace wasn’t worth it and that I should just forget about him. Monica said I needed to just get over it and move on. It was only Jace after all, and everyone knew he was a player. Sandy backed her up when the three of us went for dinner at Piccolo Italia.
It was easier said than done. One minute, I wanted to go to his house and fall on my knees before him, begging him to rethink. The next minute, I wanted to phone him and scream at him. On occasion, I’d felt like taking a baseball bat to his car. Luckily, I managed to refrain from doing any of those things, but as I made my way to school after the vacation, I wondered what I was going to do when I saw him again.
As I was walking through the parking lot to the school building, I saw him with Liam and Carl. They were also walking toward the school building. I was about to duck and run in another direction, when he saw me and jogged over. I made a desperate effort to look normal, as if the very sight of him wasn’t tearing my heart to shreds. He’d had his hair cut to a close shave. How dare he be so darn good-looking!
“Hey, Lexi! Happy New Year.”
I had to look away from him when he smiled. I continued walking, and he fell into step with me.
“We need to talk.”
I grunted. Not a very ladylike sound, but I didn’t trust myself to speak.
“I’ll wait for you by your locker at lunchtime.”
I guessed I could manage one word. “Okay.”
We both had economics, but I was not walking to class with him. I darted into a bathroom once we got inside.
I looked in the mirror. Hey, at least I was having a good hair day today. I dug out some makeup from my purse. When a girl felt bad within, she should at least look good without. I decided to glam myself up a little.
I felt slightly more together when I walked into economics, the key word being slightly. Jace was sitting in his usual spot at the back near the door. I sauntered past him without so much as a glance in his direction, and plopped myself next to Michelle.
“How are you holding up girl?” Michelle asked. Her blue eyes were compassionate.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I heard about you and Jace.”
“How?” It was probably Monica or Sandy.
Michelle lowered her voice. “Maybe we should talk later. Class is starting.”
I couldn’t speak to Michelle after the class, because we both had to rush to our next classes.
At lunchtime, I was making my way to my locker to meet Jace, when I ran into Monica and Sandy.
“Hey, Lexi,” Monica began. The Christmas vacation seemed to have done her good, because she looked like her usual self again. “Girl, you’re not going to believe who we just saw Jace with.”
“Who?”
“Andrea King.”
“Is that the cheerleader girl?”
“Yeah,” Sandy said. “She was at Tanya’s church when we went at Christmas, and they were talking.”
I played with my purse strap. If he was dating someone else already, why on earth was I grieving like I’d lost someone? “It’s cool. He wanted me to meet him by my locker, but I don’t think there’s anything to say.”
“Well, maybe you should just go and hear what he has to say,” Monica suggested.
“No. I’m going to eat. I’m starved.” I walked out, and they followed me to the cafeteria. Michelle came in just before the bell rang for the end of lunch. I was finishing off the remains of a chicken burger when she sat down and grinned like she had the solution to world poverty.
“Where’ve you been?” Sandy asked.
“CU.”
“You went to CU?”
“Yeah.”
Sandy and Monica exchanged a glance. Michelle turned to me. “How was your Christmas?”
“It was good,” I lied. My Christmas had been far from merry, and the New Year far from happy.
“What’s up with Jace?” Monica asked. “I thought he was really into Lexi.”
Michelle held up her hands. “I’m not getting involved.”
“Is it anything to do with Andrea King?” Monica asked.
“No, it’s nothing to do with any other girl.”
I frowned. So Michelle knew why Jace had broken up with me?
“Well, me and Monica just saw them,” Sandy said.
Michelle shook her head. “She was probably just asking him if he was coming to CU. He’s a Christian now, too.”
“Hasn’t he always been?” Monica said, rolling her eyes.
“I don’t know. You know what? I’m not sure what’s up with him, but he seems to want to be serious about his faith now.”
“So what does it have to do with dumping me?” I asked. I still didn’t get it.
“It’s the whole unequally yoked thing,” Michelle said. “Don’t ask me why it’s called that, because I don’t know.”
“What does that mean?” I asked.
“It’s in the Bible. I forget what chapter and verse.”
“Listen, Michelle. That means nothing to me. Speak English.”
“It means a Christian person can’t be in a relationship with someone who isn’t a Christian,” Monica explained. “But I didn’t think anyone took it that serious. I dated a guy from Tanya’s church a couple times when I was with Liam. He didn’t seem bothered that I wasn’t a Christian.”
I just looked at Monica for a moment, and then I shook my head. I should have known it would be something ridiculous like that.
Michelle patted my shoulder. “If it’s any consolation, Jace refused to dump you at first. He said that he just couldn’t and that he really likes you. But Tanya told him to pray about it.”
I closed my eyes, processing the information. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. This was so stupid.
“Well, I have to go.” Michelle rose to her feet. “S
ee you guys later.”
“What’s up with her? Is she still just putting up a show for Matt, or is she serious?” I asked when she left.
Sandy looked bewildered. “I don’t know. Since we went to that Christmas service, she’s been talking religion nonstop.”
“I think it’s a phase,” Monica said. “Once she gets tired of stalking Matt, she’ll get tired of religion, too. Jace is probably just going through a phase, too.”
“I need to get to class.” I left Monica and Sandy gossiping. I was none the wiser about why Jace had dumped me. I didn’t really buy the religion thing. It had to be a cover up—and it was a very creative one at that!
After school Jace was waiting by my locker. He scowled as I approached. “What happened at lunchtime? I called you like fifty times.”
“Sorry, I haven’t looked at my phone all day.”
He moved aside so that I could open my locker. “We need to talk, Lexi.”
“About what?”
“About us.”
“There is no us.”
The look Jace gave me made me feel bad for being awkward. “Give me a chance to explain, Lexi. I didn’t explain on the phone, and I think I need to.”
“Okay, are we talking here or somewhere else?”
“I think we need to go somewhere we can sit down and talk properly.”
“My place?” I offered.
“Okay.”
***
Jace was sitting at my kitchen table, looking uncomfortable. He was visibly struggling, trying to choose his words carefully. I decided to open the discussion. We didn’t have all day. “Michelle told me you can’t date someone who isn’t a Christian. And I heard that Tanya said you needed to break up with me.”
Jace’s handsome face screwed up. “Michelle has a big mouth.”
I got up and took a can of Coke out of the fridge. “Want one?” I asked. He nodded, so I took out two.
“I wanted to explain things myself, but I guess Michelle has jumped in there and done it for me.” Jace took the drink I offered him and popped the ringpull. “It’s like I woke up on Christmas Day, Lexi. I realized that I had to change. I’ve just been making a mockery with my pseudo Christianity. It’s time I got real.”
“Right.”
“At first, I didn’t realize that my decision meant we had to break up, but I saw it for myself in the Bible. So, I had to do it.”
I stared at Jace in bewilderment. What had happened to him? He’d been brainwashed. “Do they spray some kind of mind control chemical in the air at Tanya’s church?”
Jace smiled and reached across the table to take my hand. “Of course not, or Monica and Sandy would have gotten saved too. Come to the youth group tomorrow.”
“No.”
“C’mon, Lexi. We can be together if you get saved.” He smiled, his eyes pleading with me.
“I can’t. I have a photoshoot tomorrow.”
“Then come on Sunday.”
I sighed. “Jace, I can pretty much tell you now that I’m not ever going to get saved, okay? I’m not going to waste my time going to church when I know it’s not for me.”
Jace let go of my hand. “Can’t you just have an open mind?”
“You want to talk about having an open mind, when you’re the one who broke up with me because I’m not a Christian?”
Jace drank his Coke in one go. His head was back, his throat was moving, and I found it somewhat fascinating. When he finished, he got up to trash the can, and then he returned to the table. “What have you got against Christianity?”
“Nothing.”
“Then why won’t you give it a try?”
“Because it doesn’t make sense to me.”
“Well, have you ever tried to understand it?”
All the frustration of the past weeks came pouring out. “How can there be a God, Jace, when there are so many terrible things going on in the world? And if there is a God, why does He let these things happen? How can He let horrible fathers who abuse their families and do terrible things stay alive, but let good men like my dad die? My dad was a good man. So why?” I knew Christians got these questions all the time, but if there were answers, Jace had better give me them. “If you can answer that, I might tag along with you to church.”
Jace looked serious. “I don’t have all the answers, Lexi,” he said softly. “I’ve just started this thing myself, and I have so many questions of my own. But I know what I felt on Christmas Day, and I know what happened in my heart when I accepted Jesus. I know how I feel when I read the Bible. I know how I feel when I pray. I wish I could tell you how God’s been speaking to me in the night—”
“God speaks to you in the night?”
“Yeah.”
I couldn’t believe Jace was saying something so ridiculous. “What does He say?”
“A lot.”
“What does His voice sound like?”
“Never mind, you won’t understand.”
“Okay, when God speaks to me, I’ll become a Christian—if He speaks at all, because you could just be imagining things. Or you could have been hypnotized by Tanya’s preacher, because none of it makes sense to me.”
Jace gave me a patient look that I found rather patronizing. “I guess you have to experience it to believe.”
I sipped my Coke. “I think it’s ridiculous that the Bible says don’t date a non-Christian. Is that one of the Ten Commandments?”
“No.”
“Then maybe it’s not that important,” I offered hopefully.
“Every part of the Bible is important.”
“But can’t you see how ridiculous that is?” I asked. “What does religion matter if we love each other?” Oops! I almost slapped myself. I’d just admitted to love! What was wrong with me? Now Jace had that nervous look again.
“I think I better go.”
“Jace, what do you think is the most important thing in a relationship?”
He started playing with his car keys like he couldn’t wait to get out of my kitchen.
“The main thing is that two people love each other, right?” I prompted.
Jace considered it for a moment. “The main thing is that you both love God, and only then do you know how to love each other.”
I felt like tearing my hair out.
“Imagine if we started dating again, Lexi. We’d argue constantly like we are now.”
“We could just agree to disagree. We won’t talk about religion.”
“I couldn’t agree to that.”
“Why not?”
Jace gave me another patient look “Lexi, I just can’t. And I don’t want you to go to hell.”
I was shocked. “I am not going to hell!”
“You are if you don’t accept Jesus,” Jace said bluntly.
“Get out of my house.”
Jace gave me a weary frown. “Hell is real, Lexi. We all sin, and it’s what we all deserve.”
I snorted. “So how do I know if I’ve sinned?” I didn’t really know why I was asking, but I guessed I should make the most out of this ridiculous conversation and at least let it be educational.
“Come on, Lexi. You know what a sin is.” Jace must have seen the confusion on my face, because he went on to explain. “Okay, sins are anything you do that’s wrong.”
“Like?”
“Lying, gossiping, anything that’s not right.”
Oh, yeah, well I knew that. Personally, I didn’t think those things could be sins, because everybody did them. We were human.
“So what about us on Christmas Eve? Was that okay, or was that a sin?” I asked with a sweet smile.
Jace’s expression closed.
“I know we didn’t do it, but we did a whole lot of other stuff.” I was being obnoxious, and I knew it. But like they said, attack was sometimes the best form of defense. “So are you going to get payback in hell?”
“Not anymore now that I accepted Jesus,” he mumbled.
“So it’s only me that’ll get
payback in hell? That’s not fair, because it wasn’t even my idea.” Okay, I knew I wasn’t helping matters, but Jace deserved it for telling me I was going to hell. “What’s the matter?” I asked.
Jace stood up. He couldn’t look at me.
“What? I’m not gonna jump you, Jace. I respect your beliefs and the fact that you can’t do certain things anymore. Honestly, if we got back together, I wouldn’t make you do anything you’re not allowed to do.” Looking at Jace right now, I wasn’t sure I actually wanted to get back with him. The religion thing was a huge turn off.
“Um, bye, Lexi.” Jace left my kitchen like he was being chased, and moments later I heard the front door slam.
I called Monica and told her what had happened. It was final. Jace and I were over.
“Don’t worry,” Monica said. “I have a totally awesome plan, which we are going to execute on Wednesday at the basketball game. I’ll fill you in tomorrow, because my mom’s here.”
I looked at the oven clock. My mom wouldn’t get home for another three hours.
“What are you going to do for the rest of the evening?” Monica asked.
“I’m going to trash my bedroom and destroy everything Jace ever bought me,” I said dolefully. Maybe I’d keep the GPS though.
“That bad, huh? Maybe I should bring you some of my antidepressants.”
Chapter 23
I felt surprisingly calm on Tuesday. I’d worked out that Jace dumping me had only felt so horrific because I was missing my dad and already felt lonely. Jace was cool, but a two-week relationship was hardly something to get upset about.
As I left school at eleven, I decided that I was just going to forget it all. And to prove that I was well and truly over the whole thing, I’d brought the GPS Jace had given me for Christmas. My dashboard clock said I had thirty minutes to get to my photoshoot. I didn’t know where it was, and that could have been cause for panic and manic driving. However, I got to my desired location easily, all thanks to GPS.
When the client saw me, he almost lost his marbles. “What is going on?” he shrieked in a tone that no man should be allowed, or be able, to use. He glared at his assistant. “We were expecting a blond! Where is Maria? I told her I wanted a blond.”
