by Dayo Benson
“Sit it yourself,” Tanya retorted. “Are you coming tonight?”
“Coming where?”
“To church.”
“Oh, yeah.”
“You forgot,” Tanya accused.
“I didn’t. I’m coming. I even told Lexi.” Monica nudged me, “Didn’t I, Lexi?”
“Yeah.”
“And Lexi said she’s coming.”
Tanya looked at me with raised eyebrows. “Really?”
“No.”
“You said you would,” Monica whined.
“I’ve changed my mind.”
Monica looked annoyed. “It’s not proper church, Lexi. It’s just a youth group. You have to come. I don’t want to go alone.”
“You’ve been lots of times before without me.”
“Well, I want you with me this time!”
Argh! “Okay.”
***
This was Jace’s church that I was going to. The mere thought gave me a headache. It meant I wouldn’t be able to relax. It also meant that I had to look good.
After school, Monica came home with me. My mom was home early, but she wasn’t cooking. I threw a frozen pizza into the oven, and we took it to my room when it was done. Monica saw the stopover as an opportunity to acquire some more of my clothes.
“So am I supposed to dress a certain way?” I asked when she finished rummaging around in one of my closets. I’d never been to church before apart from my dad’s funeral.
She gave me a quick look as she pulled her hairbrush out of her purse. “You’re fine the way you are.” She brushed her hair and tied it back with a pink band.
“Why are you tying your hair back? Don’t you want to make ‘em crick their necks trying to look at you?”
“It’s church, not a pick up place.” Monica turned and looked at me. “Well, you might want to cover up some of that cleavage.”
“This isn’t cleavage. It’s just chest.”
“It’s cleavage when you bend over.”
“Well, I’ll accidentally bend over in front of Jace then.”
Monica laughed. She took out her powder compact. “Yeah, let him see what he’s missing. Has he been talking to you since the hotel thing?”
“Yeah, I’ve been trying to avoid him though.”
Monica looked in my mirror and dusted her face with honey hued powder. “Can I ask you a personal question?”
“Shoot.”
“How did you feel after that night with Jace?”
Okay, that was more than personal. That was embarrassing. “What do you mean?”
“Did you feel guilty after it?”
“Why would I feel guilty?”
Monica snapped her compact shut and turned from the mirror. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s just me, but I feel so guilty all the time. It’s part of the reason I dumped Liam. He always wanted to do it, and it just made me feel guiltier and guiltier.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s all the religion and Christianity I’m surrounded with; my mom, my brother, Tanya.” Monica smiled. “What number was Jace?”
“What do you mean?”
“Shish Kebabs, Lexi! Do I have to spell everything out to you? How many guys have you been with before him?”
“As in how many guys have I dated?”
Monica rolled her eyes. “How many have you slept with?”
“Ah! I understand!” Well, Monica would probably consider me seriously uncool, but I was still going to tell her the truth. “You tell me first, and then I’ll tell you.”
Monica turned back to the mirror. “It’s none of your business.”
“C’mon Monica.”
She looked at me in the mirror. “Fifteen.”
“Shish Kebabs!” I fell onto my bed laughing. “Monica, girl, you sexy sexy Mama!”
Monica started laughing too. “I’m lying,” she said between gasps. “I can’t believe you believed me.”
My mom popped her head around the door. “You girls, okay?”
“Yeah,” we chorused.
She gave us a strange look and then left us alone.
“So how many, really?” I pressed.
“Only Liam. Before him I was too scared because I thought I’d get pregnant. Plus, I never dated anyone cute enough, but then along came Mr. Liam with his scary way of making me forget everything I believe in.”
“Well, I’m just going to be honest,” I said. “I’ve never done it.”
Monica stared at me. “Are you a—”
“Yeah,” I admitted before she could say the ‘V’ word.
“Oh my!”
“In fact, Jace was my first kiss.”
“Didn’t you kiss Craig back in freshman year?”
“No, I was lying.”
Monica started laughing.
I glared at her. “I’m glad you find this so amusing.”
“But, I thought you and Jace did it.”
“I know. I never really told you what happened.”
I must have looked really pained because the smile vanished from Monica’s face, and she looked concerned.
I waved a dismissive hand. “It was nothing really, but I still don’t get it.”
“What happened?”
“Well, I got to his place and everything was normal, we were making out, and I thought he wanted to do it,” I couldn’t believe I was telling someone this. I’d kept it to myself so far. “Anyway, he kind of started pulling away, so I thought it was because he could tell that I didn’t want to do it. And it wasn’t like I really didn’t want to, I just didn’t want to on a couch.”
“Yeah, especially when it’s your first time. I made Liam light scented candles and get special sheets and everything.”
“Well, I decided to just get on with it, like who cared where it was. It was Jace and that was what mattered most, because I really liked him.”
“And you still do, don’t you.”
“No!”
“Well, what happened?”
“Jace just got all weird on me and started saying we were going too fast and that it was too soon and that we should wait a bit.”
“Jace is so confused,” Monica said. “I swear Tanya’s got the boy twisted.”
Chapter 29
The church had me surprised. Inside, it was enormous, modern, and fun looking. The place was packed with young people. I studied them as Monica and I walked to the meeting hall. I was surprised that so many young people would spend a Tuesday night at church. And they didn’t look like weirdoes or anything.
I gripped the Bible that Jace had given me tightly as we tried to find seats. I couldn’t believe I was in a church. Okay, it didn’t look like a church, with its aqua and cream décor and beanbags on the floor at the front. Yet, it was a church. Most people were holding Bibles, and all the girls seemed to be smiling that happy, bouncy, Christian smile that Tanya and now Michelle were always smiling. For that reason alone, I knew I wouldn’t fit in.
I saw a girl in teeny denim shorts and nudged Monica. “And you made me think I had to cover up.”
Just then, we saw Tanya, and Tanya saw us. “Monica! Lexi!” she yelled running over. Although she wasn’t my favorite person, I was glad we came. It obviously meant a lot to her. I let her hug me after she hugged Monica.
“You look gorgeous, Lexi,” Tanya commented.
I wanted to detect some sarcasm in her tone, but there was none. “Thanks. Not too much cleavage?”
She wasn’t listening. “I’m so glad you’re here. I thought you’d accidentally forget on purpose.” She started steering us toward the seats she’d saved for us. “You should enjoy tonight. It’s an outreach program.”
“What does that mean?” I asked.
“It means we all had to invite our non-Christian friends.”
“Do I have to wear a badge that says ‘Lexi: unsaved’?”
Tanya chuckled. “No. I don’t know what experience you’ve had of church, but it must have been someplace weird.�
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“I’ve never been to church.”
“Well, open your mind and stop thinking the worst.”
“I’ll try, but I seriously don’t think I will ever get into it,” I said honestly. I didn’t want Tanya having high hopes about me having a miraculous conversion. “Why can’t we sit on a bean bag at the front?”
“For two hours?” Monica asked. “Go ahead, but I’m sitting on a chair.”
“We’re here for two hours?”
Monica and Tanya looked at each other and rolled their eyes.
“Well, it better be good.” I looked around, and I liked the way my earrings jangled with every move of my head. They were the diamond ones that Jace had bought me. I was wearing them tonight to taunt him. That’s if he would even recognize them.
“Is it always this packed?” I asked Tanya. I was still baffled by the number of people here and the fact that they weren’t all losers or nerds either. In fact, I’d spied a number of hot boys.
“Kind of, but about a quarter of the people here are new.” She looked at the Bible in my hands. “Is that the Bible I gave Jace?”
“I don’t know.”
Sandy and Michelle arrived, and Monica waved them over. Tanya left us and went off to mingle.
“Did you get dragged here, too?” Sandy asked taking the chair next to me. She was more covered up than usual in a plain white shirt and blue jeans tucked into black knee high boots. She’d made up for her modesty with huge earrings and lots of jangly bangles on each wrist. “Michelle said she’d never forgive me if I don’t come.”
“Yeah, Monica said something pretty similar to me. It’s emotional blackmail, isn’t it?” I looked at Monica. She’d left an empty seat between us. “Move up.”
She shook her head and waved at Jace who had just come in with Liam and Carl. Jace came and took the place between me and Monica. Carl and Liam sat in the row in front of us.
I glared at Monica. How could she do that? I ignored Jace and turned to Sandy. “Did Michelle tell you that this is going to last for two hours?”
“No, it’s usually about an hour and a half,” Jace said.
I ignored him. I was talking to Sandy, not him. Sandy looked at the expression on my face and smothered a giggle.
I tucked my hair behind my ears, and Sandy looked at my earrings. “They’re nice. Where’d you get them?”
“You mean my earrings? Oh, Jace bought them,” I said loudly. Sandy and Monica giggled.
A young man, who looked like he was in his mid-twenties got up on the stage and announced that we were starting. He got the ball rolling with a prayer. It was about time! People moved to their seats, and a hush fell over the hall. After the prayer, the band came out, and everyone stood up. Monica leaned over behind Jace’s back. “Check out the hot guy on the drums.”
Jace turned. “I heard that.”
I checked him out. “Hot, hot, hot,” I told Monica.
“That’s the one I used to date.”
The band was really good, and I was rather annoyed at myself for liking them. I didn’t know any of the songs, but everyone else seemed to. They were all singing along. I was surprised to see that Monica was singing, too. Well, she’d been before. At least I had Sandy. She was just as clueless as I was. We both stood there awkwardly, unable to join in. After a few songs, Sandy started clapping like everyone else and dancing a bit. I put my hands in my pockets. I wasn’t clapping. I definitely wasn’t dancing!
The session lasted for a good forty-five minutes! I sat down halfway through, and Jace asked if I was okay. I nodded slightly.
When all the singing was over, the drummer boy told us to sit down, and the man that had given the opening prayer came to tell us where the fire exits were. The drummer boy then told us that they were going to sing a special song, written and composed by Tanya Washington. He invited her to the stage to lead the song.
Jace got up and made his way to the stage and took the second set of drums. The lights were dimmed, and the song started with just a piano accompaniment.
It was beautiful: the music, Tanya’s voice, the harmonies of the backup singers, and Jace on the drums, looking like a million bucks. We didn’t burst out in wild applause at the end, because it was beautiful in a rather sobering way.
“Okay, she can sing,” Sandy whispered as Tanya attempted to jump from the stage and Jace gave her a hand.
I hated the fact that I had just clapped for Tanya, but you had to show respect where it was due.
Jace came back, but Tanya didn’t. The man who had done the opening prayer returned to the stage. “Is he like the priest person?” I asked Sandy.
“That’s Mike. He’s the youth leader,” Jace told me. I wondered why he kept answering questions that I wasn’t asking him.
Mike asked if anyone had anything to thank God for. Four kids got up and made their way forward. I wondered if this was how Jace had got up and told everyone about how he’d overcome temptation from his ex-girlfriend.
“Thanks for telling all your church people about the hotel thing,” I said, with a bitter edge to my voice. “I didn’t even mean it.”
“It’s not like I announced your name and showed them a picture.”
Monica on his other side leaned over. “Forget that hotel thing. It was a prank. Me and Lexi thought we’d test you to see if you’re really a Christian.”
Jace frowned. “Well, you’re both twisted.”
Monica placed a hand on his knee giggling. “I know, sorry. But it was funny. I guess you passed our test.”
I smiled at Monica. She was the best. “Yeah, Jace, sorry we did that.”
Jace’s looked annoyed. He removed Monica’s hand from his knee, and looked ahead at the stage.
Someone thanked God because they were getting good grades. I took my cell phone out to play a game. This was so boring.
Tanya was the last person to get on the stage to thank God. “I want to thank God because of what’s going on at my school. As you all know, two of my friends from school, Jace and Michelle, got saved during the Christmas vacation. Well, tonight, another three of my friends from school are here.”
Everyone clapped. I wanted to hide. Tanya was tripping. Of course everyone was looking over at us, guessing that we must be the newbies, since we were sitting with Jace and Michelle.
“Could I just ask them to stand up for everyone to see? Monica, Lexi, Sandy?”
“She did not just say that,” I whispered to Sandy in disbelief. Sandy and Monica stood up. I stayed seated. How come Tanya hadn’t picked on Carl and Liam, too? Weren’t they her friends, too?
“Where’s Lexi?” Tanya asked.
I stared down at the floor, thinking about how I was going to kill her later. Sandy pulled me to my feet, and there was more clapping. Tanya was so getting my Jimmy Choos up her backside later.
Tanya left the stage, and Mike came back. He asked whose group was giving tonight’s presentation. It was Tanya’s group.
“What is it? Tanya Washington night?” I grumbled. First the song, then the little speech about the outbreak of Christianity among her friends, and now she was doing a presentation?
Tanya took the microphone again. “I’ve been volunteering at a blind people’s home for the past year and a half, and today, I brought one of my friends. Her name is Lisa, and she’s been blind since birth.” Tanya paused while a young blond girl was led to the stage and given a seat and a microphone.
“So I’m going to hand over to Michelle,” Tanya said.
“Oh, I forgot I was doing this,” Michelle gasped. She got up and hurried to the stage. Me and Sandy chuckled as she took the microphone from Tanya.
“Hi, Lisa, how’re you doing?” Michelle asked the blind girl, launching straight into the presentation.
“I’m doing great, by God’s grace.”
Everyone clapped, and Michelle waited for the clapping to die down before she continued. “Have you ever been able to see?”
“Well, Tanya said I’ve
been blind from birth,” Lisa answered. “So I guess that would be a no.”
“Right.” Michelle looked confused.
Sandy snorted. “She’s forgotten her lines.”
There was a moment of silence, while we all waited for Michelle to say something. Michelle looked over at Tanya who was standing at the back of the stage. Tanya walked over and handed her a piece of paper, and everyone laughed.
“Tanya said she has a new friend that’s blond. Could that be you?” Lisa asked.
Michelle laughed along with everyone else. “I’m afraid so. I’m fulfilling the stereotype, aren’t I?”
“Don’t be giving us a bad name now,” Lisa said tossing her hair over her shoulder. “We’re not all dumb.”
People were laughing like it was hilarious. It really wasn’t.
“Do you believe that there’s a sun in the sky?” Michelle asked.
“Yes,” Lisa replied.
“What does the sun look like?”
“It’s like a ball of fire. It’s so bright that you can’t look at it.”
“How do you know if you’ve never seen it?”
“I can’t refuse to believe that the sun is there just because I can’t see it. I just have to believe what people who have sight tell me.”
Michelle faced the audience and read: “Every human being is born in sin, which means that they are blind from birth in a spiritual sense. Your spiritual eyes are opened when you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior.
“Those who are saved can see. If you’re here today, and you’re refusing to believe that God exists and that He is real, why not accept the testimony of those who know Him and have seen Him, those who walk with Him every day? Just because you can’t see Him with your physical eyes, doesn’t mean that He is not there. Step out in faith and let Jesus open your blind eyes.”
Everyone clapped, and Michelle handed the microphone over to Tanya who had stepped forward.
“Sorry, this isn’t planned, but it just came to my mind,” Tanya said. “Can someone read 2 Corinthians 5, verse 7? If you find it, please stand up and read.”
I took my Bible out of my purse, and Sandy raised an eyebrow. “You have one of those?”
“Tanya gave it to Jace, and Jace gave it to me,” I said so that Jace could hear. He didn’t respond. I didn’t know what to do with the Bible, so I just opened it at a random page.
