by Dayo Benson
I drove home, hoping all the way that Carl wouldn’t be back from wherever he’d gone in the morning, but his car was outside when I got there.
I braced myself as I let myself into the house. I had only been hanging out with my girls, so there was nothing to be agitated about, but I knew Carl. He would be suspicious.
Carl appeared in the doorway of the den. “Hey.”
I started up the stairs. “Hey, I smell pizza.”
“Yeah, I was hungry.” He followed me upstairs and watched while I changed. “Where’ve you been?” he asked eventually.
“With Tanya, Shawna, and Monica.”
“And Jace?”
“No,” I said in annoyance. When was Carl going to get off my case, if ever? “Where’ve you been? You were gone before I woke up.”
Carl ignored my question. “I know you’ve been with Jace. You don’t dress up that much when you’re meeting your girlfriends.”
“We went for lunch. Jace wasn’t there, okay?”
“You still have a crush on Jace. I know you do,” Carl snarled. “I saw the way you were looking at him yesterday.”
“You have an overactive imagination,” I said turning from the closet.
“Well, would you like to tell me where you disappeared to at the beginning of the reception? I couldn’t help noticing that Jace disappeared too.”
“I went with Monica to see Michelle.” I knew that Carl didn’t believe me.
My phone rang, and I looked at the caller ID. It was Tanya. “What’s up?” I answered.
“Nothing, just calling to make sure you got home safely. You looked a little tired.”
“I’m okay. Are you still with Shawna and Monica?”
“Yeah, we all came back to my place…”
I didn’t hear the rest of what she said, because Carl came and grabbed the phone from my hand. “What are you doing, Carl?”
He put the phone in his pocket. The expression on his face was sour.
“That was Tanya.”
“I know you only talk to Tanya, because she’s Jace’s cousin. Anyway, you’re not talking to our friends from high school anymore. High school is over, and those friendships are over.”
“Give me back my phone, Carl.”
Carl took the phone from his pocket and threw it vehemently against the wall. The screen smashed, and it fell to the floor. I walked out of the room and went to get my car keys. I’d had enough of this!
I was unlocking the front door to leave the house when Carl came down the stairs. I opened the door and slammed it behind me. Carl opened it and was upon me in a flash. “Where do you think you’re going?”
He dragged me back into the house, and into the den, and flung me down onto the sofa. I stared up angrily at him. His face was red, and his blond hair was spiked up roughly as if it, too, were angry. He was trembling with restrained fury, and his handsome face was contorted with jealousy. I had married a monster.
Chapter 62
I tore open the letter from college, not really bothered about whether it would be good news or not. These days, I didn’t care about anything. My heart was growing colder by the day, and I felt numb. If I had failed my exams, who cared?
I unfolded the letter and scanned through my exam results. I had passed them all. I put the letter on my dresser. Well, my mom would be pleased.
I went to stand before the mirror and turned sideways. My stomach wasn’t as flat as usual, but neither was the change that noticeable. It was impossible to tell that I was pregnant. I wondered if I was in fact still pregnant.
Carl came into the room with a towel around his waist and one draped over his shoulders. He was dripping wet from his shower. He looked at my stomach but said nothing. He never talked about my being pregnant. I wondered if he had forgotten about it.
I pointed to the brown envelope on the bed. “It’s your exam results.”
He opened it, and his face fell. “I have to re-sit two. How did you do?”
“I passed all mine.”
Carl took the towel from around his shoulders and started drying himself. I left the room and went down to the study. I could hear Louise already in the kitchen cooking breakfast. It was only seven o’ clock, but I was up because I just couldn’t sleep these days.
I sat at the computer and switched it on. I hadn’t checked my email for a while, and I had lots of junk mail. I scrolled down and saw that Shawna had emailed me a couple weeks ago. She was telling me that Sam had asked her to marry him and that she was moving to New York in two weeks. She said she’d been trying to call me. She would be in New York by now.
I read the email with mixed feelings. Shawna sounded happy. I was glad that things had turned out well for her, but I couldn’t help feeling lonely. I had no more friends in LA. They had all moved to New York, which was pretty odd. New York was stealing all my friends.
Her wedding was going to be on January 2nd, and she wanted me and Carl to come. She knew it might not be possible because I may be quite heavily pregnant by then.
I emailed her back and told her that I was happy for her, but that I probably wouldn’t be able to make the wedding. I was due in January. When I’d gone to see my midwife, she’d confirmed that I was ten weeks pregnant. I’d had a scan two weeks later, and although it had been the most amazing experience, it had been bittersweet. It had been awesome to see my little baby on the screen, but I’d had mixed feelings because of the whole father issue. Carl hadn’t come with me, and it was sad that I’d had to go alone.
I told Shawna that I couldn’t find my cell phone and gave her my address in case she came home any time soon.
I switched off the computer and went to the kitchen. Carl was there having his breakfast and chatting to Louise.
“Morning, Lexi,” Louise greeted me, pulling out a chair at the table for me. She seemed to really enjoy her job. I wondered how that was possible. “You don’t look rested at all. How are you feeling?”
“Okay.” I helped myself to two slices of toast and started spreading butter onto them.
Louise came and filled my plate with sausages, eggs and bacon. The sight and smell of it made me want to puke. “Eat up,” she said. “You’re far too skinny. The baby needs some nutrition.”
“I can’t possibly eat all that.”
“You’re eating for two now, Lexi.”
She left the kitchen for a moment, and Carl took some of my food. I smiled my thanks.
Louise looked pleased when she returned. “You’ve only got a little way to go now. You can do it.”
I finished up and went upstairs to one of the spare rooms. I was going to turn it into my space. Somewhere I could retreat to and be alone. I decided that I needed to decorate it and give it some personality.
I made a list of all the things that I would need to turn it into my sanctuary. I would have Louise order everything for me from a catalog or from the Internet. It had only been a few weeks, but I was really getting into this whole housekeeper thing. My mom would have a fit when she found out.
Carl came upstairs and popped his head around the door. “What are you doing?”
“Making a list.”
“Of what?”
“Things I need to buy to make this room into my room,” I muttered.
“Are you moving out of our bedroom?”
“Maybe.”
Carl came in and shut the door. “We need to talk.”
“You want a divorce?” I asked not looking up from my list.
“Of course not. I’ve just been wondering what you’re planning to do about college. You’re going to have a baby, so what’s going to happen?”
“Dunno yet. I’ll see how it goes.”
“Well, I think you should quit. It’ll be too stressful.”
“We have enough money to get good childcare. But, if you don’t want to spend your money on childcare, that’s okay. I have my own money.”
“I’m willing to spend any amount on the baby, if it’s mine. Money isn’t the
problem. I’m just thinking about you. I don’t want you to get stressed.”
“Thanks for your concern,” I said curtly, “but I’ll be fine.”
“I don’t think you will. You can always take a year out and start college again next year when the baby is old enough to do without you.”
Carl made sense, but I was not bowing to his will. All he wanted was complete control of my life, and I was not giving it to him. “You already choose who I can and cannot talk to, and when I can and cannot go out. You’re not telling me whether I can or cannot go to college.”
“My son is not having no nanny,” Carl said firmly.
“How do you know it’s a boy?”
“Whatever it is, they’re not having a nanny. You’re staying home with him or her.” Carl took his phone out of his pocket and looked at it. “Your mom’s calling.”
I took the phone from him. “Hi, mom,” I said forcing my voice to sound normal.
“Why haven’t you returned my calls?” my mom asked in annoyance. “Honestly, it’s impossible to get hold of you these days!”
“Sorry, my phone isn’t working.”
“But I’ve been leaving messages for you with Carl. Hasn’t he passed any of them on?”
I glared at Carl. “He probably forgot. By the way, I passed my exams.”
“Oh, well done. I still can’t believe you’re in college. I feel like you just stopped wearing diapers yesterday. How time flies.” She was quiet for a moment, and then she seemed to snap back to the present. “Anyway, I won’t be in town much for the rest of the year. I’m going national with Flawless. I’ll be in Miami for the next two months setting up there, and then for the rest of the year I’ll be in New York. By January, I should be able to go down south and set one up there, probably in Dallas. I’m planning to go to London and Paris, too, but that won’t be for a while. Maybe end of next year.”
I whooped for my mom. “Go, Mom! That is awesome.”
“Thanks, honey.”
“When I become a supermodel, I’ll plug Flawless every opportunity I get. I’m sure you can collaborate with a good team of scientists and create your own line of products. I’ll be in the TV commercials.”
My mom chuckled. “Big dreams, but it’s one step at a time.”
“I’m so happy for you, Mom. You’re doing so well, moving on and keeping yourself busy after everything you’ve been through with losing dad.”
“I’m coping okay, aren’t I?” My mom sighed. “It still hurts though. I really miss him.”
“We both do, but you’re handling it well. My friend Shawna lost her dad too, and her mom is a drug addict now.”
“Oh, the poor woman!”
“I know. So will you be back in LA for Christmas?”
“I should be, even if I have to fly in late on Christmas Eve or early on Christmas Day. I hardly see you. We have to spend Christmas together.”
“Sure.”
“Anyway, I’ll let you go now. Let me know when you get your phone sorted.”
“I will. Take care, Mom.”
I gave Carl his phone back and walked out of the room before he could restart the conversation about me stopping college.
I went downstairs to give Louise the list of things I wanted for my room.
She scanned it. “Gold floor rugs?”
“Yeah, it’s the room with the wooden flooring. It’ll look nice.”
“Silky gold bed linen?”
“To match the rugs,” I explained.
“A black sofa? Black isn’t a happy color.”
“That’s why I’ve added gold throw cushions. I want the room to be all black and gold.”
“And you want beanbags, lamps, candles, art…” Louise read to the bottom of the list silently. She put it into her pocket. “Okay, I’ll have everything ordered and delivered. Goodness knows who sells gold floor rugs.”
“Thanks, charge it to Carl’s account.”
“Okay.”
Carl came downstairs and grabbed his car keys. “I’m going out.”
“Where?” I asked.
“Your birthday is coming up, so I’m going to get you a present.”
“Oh.” I was unmoved.
He blew me a kiss. “You didn’t catch it.”
I looked at him incredulously and then looked away.
“Did he annoy you this morning?” Louise asked when he left. She made her way to the kitchen, and I followed her.
“He annoys me all the time.”
“Really?”
I played with my wedding ring, not saying anything. Louise had no clue.
“But Carl seems besotted with you. Although from what I’ve observed, he tries to bury his feelings.”
I snorted. Carl didn’t have anything feelings for me apart from resentment.
“You don’t believe me? Well, I know what I’m talking about,” Louise insisted. “And I know that the reason he buries his feelings is because you don’t seem to have much feelings for him. He feels rejected.”
“And he should.”
Louise looked apologetic. “I’m sorry I brought it up, Lexi. It’s none of my business.”
“It’s okay. But I can tell you feel sorry for Carl when you should be feeling sorry for me. Carl is a control freak.”
“Because he thinks that’s the only way he can hold on to you.”
“I beg to differ.” I took a packet of cookies from a cupboard. “I’ll be in the study.” I couldn’t believe Louise couldn’t see Carl for the lying, cheating, controlling beast that he was.
I entered the study and chose a chick lit book from the shelf that Carl had, rather thoughtfully I must admit, filled with girly books that he thought I would like.
I lay on the couch with my cookies. Why we had a couch in the study I didn’t know.
I couldn’t help wondering what Carl was getting me for my birthday. It had better be something good!
***
“Happy birthday to you,” Carl sang tunelessly on the morning of my birthday. He set my breakfast on the bedside table and swooped down on me, hugging me tightly and almost squeezing the life out of me.
Louise knocked on the door. “Come in,” I called.
She entered the room. “Happy birthday, sweetie.” She gave me a box of chocolates.
“Thanks Louise, you didn’t have to.”
“So, how does it feel to be nineteen?” she asked.
“I don’t feel any different.”
Louise studied me with a motherly expression for a moment. “You’re still just a baby.”
“Nineteen is old,” I protested.
Louise ruffled my hair. “Have a great day. Carl said I should take the day off, so I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Louise left the room, and Carl put my breakfast tray on my lap. “Where’s my present?” I asked. He’d been sneaking around for days, and my curiosity had reached breaking point.
Carl grinned. He ducked under the bed and retrieved a tiny box wrapped in red foil. I took it curiously. It was probably jewelry. I shook it. Carl watched me. He looked extremely pleased with himself.
“What is it?” I asked.
“Open it and see.”
I tore through the wrapping and opened the box. Whatever it was had been wrapped in layers of tissue. I tore through the tissue and lifted out the keys to a car. “Did you buy me a car?”
“I bought you a Porsche,” Carl said with a ‘duh’ to his tone.
“How am I supposed to know it’s a Porsche?”
“Can you not see the logo on the keys?”
“How am I meant to know that’s the Porsche logo?”
“Because it says Porsche at the top.”
“Whatever.” I couldn’t wait to see the car. I hoped it was silver.
Carl put an arm around me. “Happy?”
“Yeah, thanks.” I allowed myself to smile. “What color is it?”
“I wanted to get the black one, but your mom convinced me that you’d prefer silver.”
> “Yeah, I prefer silver.” I hugged Carl. “Thanks, I can’t wait to see it.”
After breakfast I had a shower, dressed up, and went downstairs. There were more presents in the hallway, and I thought they were from Carl until I saw that they’d been posted. Shawna had bought me Shola Cardoso’s biography, and she’d enclosed two cards. One was from her and Sam, and the other was signed by Monica, Tanya, Matt, Michelle, Sandy, and Jace. I stared at Jace’s name.
Carl came and looked over my shoulder. His expression turned sour. I moved on to the next present. It was from my mom, and it was enormous. I unwrapped it and opened a box filled with lots of different things: perfumes, jewelry, chocolate, a framed picture of me and her, a cup that said ‘best daughter in the world’, and a pink sequined purse. I shut the box and decided to look through the rest of it later. It was filled to the brim.
The next present was from Carl’s parents. It was a pearl jewelry set. I wasn’t impressed. I was too young for pearls like that!
Carl took my presents upstairs for me and then came to show me my car. We went outside to the garage, and Carl covered my eyes while the electronic garage door opened.
When he removed his hands, I gasped delightedly at the sight of my Porsche. It was a two-door convertible type. “Cool!” I breathed. “I love it, I love it, I love it!”
I wondered if Carl was going to actually let me go places now that he’d bought me a car. “Where’s my old car?”
“I sold it.” Carl ran a hand over the body of my Porsche. “Isn’t this a hottie?”
“Yeah, let’s go for a spin.”
I unlocked the doors, and we jumped in. Carl showed me how to put the top down, and we drove around LA.
In the evening, Carl took me out to dinner. He was being so sweet, I almost forgot he was a psycho.
***
“So have you decided what you’re doing about college?” Carl asked me the week before college was to start. We were watching a movie in the den, and Louise was cooking in the kitchen. Whatever it was smelled good.
My pregnancy was showing a lot more now, but it could still be disguised with a baggy shirt. “I’m carrying on.”
“Why? It’ll be too much for you.”
