“What if they’ve escaped by then?” I asked, pointing back at the inn as though that would help make my point.
“Then we can ignore them until after this Skeleton King business is over,” Two’ Manchu said, coming up behind me and slapping me on the shoulder with one meaty hand. As I turned to look at the huge barbarian, he smiled at me. “Honestly, Kahn, I thought I’d be the one to bail, but you beat me to it,” he added, looking away from me as he spoke. “Don’t really blame you. This quest is stupid and will waste time, but think about it this way, what if Dark Heart is right?”
“Wait, you aren’t mad at me?” I asked, raising an eyebrow at him. “Shouldn’t you be pissed?”
“Fuck no, man. I agree with you. This is stupid.” He shook his head. “But at the same time, what if Dark Heart is right and this quest will lead to a soul stone? You really willing to bet she’s wrong when it costs nothing to stay and see if she’s right?”
“It could also get us killed,” I replied, crossing my arms over my chest because it was true. Sure, things were starting to fall into place to make me want to complete the quest and defeat the Skeleton King just to see what was going on with the quest, but I still had the niggling feeling in the back of my mind that we could all die trying to finish it, and while I really didn’t want to die, and I really, really didn’t want to die in the newbie zone. That was just way too pathetic to consider.
“Dude, anything in the game could get us killed.” He let out a sigh. “We almost got killed by fucking goblins. If we let fear stop us from going on an epic adventure, I guarantee that we won’t find the stones or get home. Hell, we’ll probably die, anyway.” He made a fist and thrust it in front of me. “Let’s just kick ass until we can’t.”
“Since when did Tubby become the brave one?” George asked, glancing at me. “Stop being a fairy princess.”
“I’m not a fairy princess!” I snapped, pointing back toward where the Macabre Skull was. “I just wanted to go kick some undead ass, and you were like, ‘nah, let’s wait for backup.’”
“Backup is smart,” Two’ Manchu said, chuckling at me as he unslung his self-hasting axe and a green glow surrounded his body as the magic took effect and doubled his speed. “But running away isn’t.” He gestured toward the place I’d pointed. “Let’s check it out.”
“But Dark Heart—”
“George, just tell Dark Heart and Crash to follow us when they get here. If it seems tough we’ll come back, but if Kahn wants to go back there now, I trust his judgement.” Two’ Manchu leaned into me then. “And if you get me killed for following you, I’m going to haunt you for eternity.”
“Fair enough,” I said, pulling out my black mithril dagger and pairing it with one of the goblin short swords. It wouldn’t be as good as using two daggers together, but the black mithril did extra damage to undead so I couldn’t risk not using it and I didn’t want to try to use only one dagger since I didn’t know any one-handed dagger techniques.
“This is a bad idea, boss,” George said, looking at me and sighing. “But if it’s what you want, I’ll stay here and wait for Dark Heart and Crash.”
“It’s what I want,” I said, gritting my teeth as I made my way toward the Macabre Skull. “Well, what I want is to go inside and kill all those undead fucks, but having you stay here and do my bidding is a close second.” I smirked at the rabbit. “Adios, motherfucker.”
4
The good news was that the Macabre Skull was still there. The bad news was that the doors to the place were humming with crimson energy, and as Two’ Manchu and I approached them, sparks snapped and popped in the air in front of us.
“Um… how do you expect to get through that?” Two’ Manchu asked, glancing at me. “I mean, I’m no genius. I only have a four in wisdom and a six in intelligence, unlike you who has twenties, but it looks like that shit will hurt like a bitch if I touch it.” Then to emphasize his point, he pointed at the spot on my HUD where his stats were displayed beside his character name even though his stats didn’t affect his actual intelligence, just his ability to use magic in the game.
Character: Two’ Manchu
Alignment: Neutral
Level: 8
Health: 56
Mana: 28
Synchronization: 54%
Strength: 18
Dexterity: 15
Constitution: 12
Wisdom: 4
Intelligence: 6
“Yeah, no kidding,” I said, glancing from his stats to the glowing doorway. I stared at it for a moment before using my Detect Lesser Trap skill to confirm his suspicion. Sure enough, as the emerald wave of the skill spread out in front of my outstretched fingers and hit the door, it began to glow with neon green light, indicating that the door was, in fact, booby trapped.
“I’m guessing from the look on your face, you didn’t find out that glowing red stuff was really ice cream and cotton candy,” Two’ Manchu said before sighing heavily. Then as he looked at me, his eyes lit up with glee.
“Hmm?” I asked as I watched the figurative gears of his mind turn. “You think of something because I’m about to try to disarm this door, though I’m guessing it’s probably a bit beyond my skill level.” I swallowed hard. If I tried to disarm it and failed, it might vaporize me, but at least I’d know my chances of success before I tried. That was worth something, right?
“What happened to the window when you used your Detect Lesser Trap skill?” Two’ Manchu replied, pointing at the window a few feet away. “Because the door is glowing like a nuclear reactor thanks to your spell, but that window looks fine.” His lips twisted into a sly smile. “Maybe we pretend this is an emergency and break the glass, eh?”
“That is an excellent idea,” I said, beaming at him. “You know, assuming we can break the glass.”
“Dude, this is a fully immersive MMO. Of course we can break the glass.” He harrumphed as he marched past me, reared back, and struck the glass with his axe. The clang of metal filled my ears as sparks erupted from the surface of the glass, causing a little damage bar to appear above the window, indicating he’d done three damage to the structure, which reduced it to a whopping nine-thousand-nine-hundred-ninety-seven health.
“Well, that’s out,” I said with a sigh and turned back toward the door. “Unless you plan on whacking it all day.”
“Dude, do you even hear yourself talk?” he asked as I raised my hand and used the Disarm Trap skill.
“You have encountered a trap, would you like to try to disarm it?” Elizabeth said, and as she spoke, a menu listing my options and probabilities of success appeared in front of me.
I had a ninety-three percent chance of removing my hand without triggering the trap, but only a three percent chance of successfully disarming it. That seemed like pretty bad odds, and while I knew I might be able to influence the whole ‘disarm the trap thing’ by going all Neo in the Matrix, this was bad math anyway you sliced it. No, it would be more likely the proverbial dice in my hand, even my potentially loaded ones, would come up snake eyes.
“I just don’t think we’re getting in there,” I hissed as I pulled my hand back. When I wasn’t reduced to putty, I continued. “At least not through either of these methods. We need a new plan.”
“Agreed. Especially since they don’t want us inside. It makes me think we definitely want to go inside.” Two’ Manchu chuckled at me. “This building is like the club with the long line outside my friends dragged me to.”
A laugh burbled up from my throat as I imagined the big burly Two’ Manchu waiting in line at a club. It was patently ridiculous, especially since I knew he looked nothing like his avatar, but still.
“I’m guessing you guys hit a snag?” Crash said from behind me, and as I turned to look at him, Dark Heart smacked me upside the head. Hard.
“Ow!” I cried as her nostrils flared and her teeth bared. The rage on her face stopped me cold, and as I took a tentative step back, raising my hands in surrender, another tho
ught struck me. What if I did something she didn’t like and she had Ivan pull the plug and kill me? My body went cold with that thought as abject terror filled me.
Dark Heart held my life in her hands, and as she stared at me, she was literally vibrating with anger.
“I can’t believe you were going to fucking ditch us!” she snapped, shaking her fist at me. “You were specifically selected for this team so we could win. If you don’t want to win, why the fuck are you here?”
“You specifically selected me by drugging me during a gaming tournament and then having your buddy Ivan take my brain out of my fucking skull and put it in a fucking tank without asking, you bitch!” I cried, rubbing the back of my head as I glared back at her, even though I knew it was hopeless. The level of anger she brought to bear with a single gaze ate my glare like it was a fireball in an episode of Dragon Ball Z.
“Hey, so have you tried just opening the window?” Crash asked, ignoring us as he moved toward the window Two’ Manchu was busy hacking at with his axe.
“Um… no?” Two’ Manchu replied as Crash grabbed the window and pushed on it. The window moved a bit before the lock caught.
“Damn, it’s locked.” He rolled his eyes. “If only we had someone in our party who could pick locks…”
“If only…” I muttered, breaking out my lock picking kit and moving toward the lock on the window. My lock pick was quite a bit better than the one I’d originally purchased from Dora and increased my lock picking skill by ten percent. It made me glad I’d gone to an actual locksmith and purchased it, even if the guy who had sold it to me had been more Russian bear than man.
“Now we can watch him fail for the next hour,” George said, rolling his eyes as I leaned close to the lock and examined it before queuing up my lock picking skill.
“You have encountered a lock, would you like to try to unlock it?” Elizabeth asked as the stats for the lock on the window appeared in front of me, and as it did, a grin spread across my face.
“Fuck yeah, I do!” I said because I had a seventy percent chance of unlocking the window. That was totally doable. Full of confidence, I shoved the pick forward into the lock and used my lock picking skill.
“You have failed to pick the lock,” Elizabeth said, and I could have sworn I heard a smirk in her voice as she spoke. “Chance at success has decreased by three percent. Would you like to try again?”
“What happened?” Two’ Manchu asked, looking at me as I gritted my teeth and tried once more only to fail again and have my chances diminished even more.
“I keep failing the goddamned rolls,” I said as I shut my eyes and concentrated on what I was doing, blocking everything out as I brought my lock pick up once again. “I’m going to try one more time. Third time is the charm, right?”
Before anyone could say anything, I raised my pick and initiated my skill. This time soft light surrounded the lock before it popped open.
“You have successfully picked the lock,” Elizabeth said, and my skill went up by a full ten percent, making me wonder how hard the lock had been to pick since all the practice locks I’d done only gave me one percent each. Then again, my lock picking skill was only level one.
“This is where I say ‘you did it!’ and you reply with something stupid like ‘was there any doubt’ huh?” Crash said, smacking me on the shoulder as I lifted the window.
“Don’t you know it,” I replied, peering inside.
While the bartender was still there as were most of the NPCs, I didn’t see the Queen of the Damned anywhere. That said, everyone inside had reverted back to their human guise, which was a bit interesting.
“Well, what do you see?” Dark Heart asked, leaning in close to me and peering over my shoulder. The sudden closeness of her startled me, although I wasn’t quite sure why. Probably because I was still a bit drunk, and she was a relatively attractive girl despite being a bitch.
“Those are the guys who jumped me. The bartender was a beast.” I stepped back, and as I did, I bumped into her, causing her to stumble slightly. “The girl isn’t there, though. At least, if she is, I don’t see her.”
“Girl?” Crash asked as Dark Heart regained her balance and shot me an embarrassed look. It made me wonder if she’d realized how close to me she’d been. “What girl?”
“There was this chick who stabbed me with a Dagger of Chance. It didn’t take so she kicked me down the stairs and said to leave before the Skeleton King killed us. She said it was our only warning,” I grumbled. “Clearly that didn’t take, either.”
“I don’t really care about that,” Two’ Manchu said, waving away my comments with his hand. “Let’s go in there, kick some ass, and find some loot.”
Then, before I could respond, the barbarian climbed his gigantic ass through the open window. I wasn’t even sure how he managed it because size and proportions, but then again, we were in a virtual game, so maybe once I’d opened the window it just counted as an entrance? That’s how it’d been in Titan Gate and that game had been based on this one.
“Well, don’t let Tubs of Fun have all the, er, fun,” George exclaimed as a battle cry erupted from inside the bar. I nodded to the rabbit and leapt through the window after the barbarian.
As I landed on the ground, I saw Two’ Manchu had already leapt across the room and was busy slamming his axe into a group of NPCs playing poker even through they’d yet to attack us. I guess he wasn’t taking any chances, and while none of the ones he’d hit had turned into skeletons, the ones at the other tables were beginning to shed their skin like reverse undead werewolves.
“Power Strike!” Two’ Manchu screamed, whirling around and smashing his axe into the skull of a lumbering skeleton. The blow caved in the creature’s skull, causing it to explode into a pile of glittering shards, but not giving me much in the way of experience.
Still, I couldn’t worry about that now. I had a bigger fish to fry. I turned my attention toward the bartender while Dark Heart and Crash came through the window behind me and moved to help Two’ Manchu. Guess George was right, having back up was pretty awesome.
“Remember me, asshole?” I cried, initiating my Charge technique. My health dropped the five percent it cost to perform the maneuver as energy wrapped around my body and let me charge across the room in a blur of speed of speed I’d never have managed on my own.
The bartender turned toward me and reared back to attack, but I was already way too close for that to work, and he was way too slow besides. My dagger and short sword slammed into his exposed chest, tearing through his decaying flesh before flinging him backward in a flare of crimson light. As his body slammed into the wall, the crimson glow of Charge faded, causing all the damage I’d done to the bartender to refill my health bar.
“You should have left when you had the chance,” the bartender said, wiping his nose with the back of one skeletal hand. The maneuver caused his nose to twist off his face in an explosion of puss and slime that smelled sort of like hot garbage and rotten eggs.
“Ugh,” I said, staggering backward in revulsion. The smell was so intense, I nearly lost my lunch as the bartender popped to his feet like he was in a kung fu movie.
“It’s nothing personal, bub. What the Skeleton King wants, the Skeleton King gets.” Then he decked me in the kisser.
Stars shot past my eyes as I stumbled backward, and as the bartender approached with his big, skeletal fists raised, a blast of cold air chilled me to the bone. Concentrated ice slammed into the bartender as he reared back to deck me again, throwing him backward into the wall and freezing him against it.
“No one fucks with the boss without my say so, jack ass!” George cried, hopping up beside me and nudging my leg with his head. “Now, if you’re done fucking around with this ballerina, let’s kill him and steel all his shinies.”
“Sounds like a plan,” I said, moving toward the frozen bartender as he struggled to break through his icy prison. “How about you tell me where the girl is?” I put the tip of my
black mithril dagger under his chin. “She’s about yay tall and is missing a few key chunks of flesh.”
“I’ll tell you nothing, flesh bag!” the bartender snarled right before I stabbed him through the good eye with my dagger. The blade flared with violet light inside the creature’s skull and fissures that popped and hissed began to spread along the bone.
“Critical hit! Damage has been doubled!” Elizabeth told me as I withdrew the dagger and prepared to strike again.
“One last chance,” I replied, leveling the dagger at him even though I wasn’t sure he could actually see it on account of having his eye put out.
“To find the Dark Queen requires one to court death,” he cried as the ice holding him in place shattered, and he lunged for me, bone white teeth barred. “I’d be more than happy to help you with that!”
I stumbled backward trying to stay out of his range while I swung my dagger at him. My black mithril blade cut a furrow into his chest, causing the smell of burning flesh to fill the air as his bony hands grabbed my collar and pulled me toward his gaping maw.
As laughter erupted from his gullet, golden light wrapped around the entirety of his body. An inhuman shriek exploded from his lips as the light exploded, tearing his body asunder and sending bits of bloody bone flying in every direction.
5
“Woah, what the fuck was that?” I cried, spinning around to see what the hell had happened. Dark Heart stood a few feet away with one hand outstretched toward me. Golden light danced between her fingers as she lowered her hand and beamed at me.
“Turn Undead. It’s a level three spell and basically pits my magical strength versus the undead’s magical resistance. If I succeed on the roll, the undead dies. Instantly.” Her eyes lit up as she spoke. “I learned the spell from Gereng while we were searching from you, since I am level twelve now.” She ran a finger through her dark hair. “It was a common spell for Paladins to use in Titan Gate.”
Soulstone: The Skeleton King: A LitRPG Novel (World of Ruul Book 2) Page 3
