* * *
“Good for you, Audrey,” Colin said. “You studied hard. I’m proud of you.”
Deanna clutched her glass as her middle daughter beamed with delight at the praise. So typical, she thought, glancing around the table. One word from their father and they were all preening. She’d also told Audrey that she’d done well on her spelling test and she’d barely gotten any acknowledgment at all. And it wasn’t as if the eight-year-old had gotten every word right. She’d missed two of the twenty. Deanna had made her copy each of the missed words five times to help her remember them for the next test. But no doubt that would be twisted into some form of child abuse.
“What else has been going on?” Colin asked, then glanced at Deanna. “Did you meet our new neighbor yet?”
“Yes, weeks ago.” Okay, only two, but close enough.
“She’s a doctor?”
“Pediatrician,” Madison said. “Carrie told me. Her dad is doing the remodeling. She’s going to have her office on the first floor of the house.”
“She’s nice,” Lucy announced, then pushed up her glasses. “Sydney, Savannah and I had tea with her last Sunday.”
“It was pretend tea,” Sydney told them. “But then Boston came by and...” She lurched as if someone had kicked her under the table.
Lucy shot her a warning glance. “She’s really nice,” she repeated quickly. “Her hair is so pretty. Long and curly.”
“Is that who you were talking about before? The woman next door?” Deanna frowned at her daughter. “You’re spending too much time with her. What is a grown woman doing hanging out with children?”
“If she’s a pediatrician, it’s hardly unusual,” Colin told her.
“Why isn’t she married? Why doesn’t she have a family of her own? She’s probably a lesbian.”
Colin’s eyebrows drew together.
The four younger girls looked confused, while Madison’s expression turned angry.
“You always do that,” her oldest told her. “You always say bad things about people when you don’t know if they’re true. Why do you have to think the worst?”
“What’s a lesbin?” Sydney asked.
“Never mind,” Colin told her, then turned to Deanna. “I agree with Madison. You do enjoy assuming the worst. I’m sure our neighbor is a very nice person. She’s certainly a welcome addition to the community. Haven’t you been saying how much you’d like a pediatrician on the island? Now we have one next door. But you have to make it more than that.”
Stung, Deanna opened her mouth, but couldn’t think of what to say. “I was kidding,” she finally managed.
“Right. Because we all know you’re a real kidder.” Colin stood. “Come on, girls. We’re going out to get ice cream.”
All five girls stared at him with identical expressions that were two parts excitement and one part apprehension.
Deanna clutched her wine. “This isn’t their night for dessert,” she murmured.
“Tell me about it.” He pushed back from the table and stood. “Because everyone knows having dessert once a week builds character, right? I’m taking my beautiful daughters out for ice cream, and then we’re going to walk along the boardwalk so I can show the world what a lucky man I am to have such great children. Come on, girls.”
They scrambled to their feet. Lucy and Audrey picked up their plates and quickly carried them to the sink, but the other three left theirs on the table and hurried after their father.
Bursts of laughter came from the hallway. The front door opened and closed; then there was only silence. Deanna sat alone at the table, in the mess that was her kitchen. By herself.
She was in the middle of a war, but she didn’t understand the rules of engagement or how she was supposed to win. She didn’t even fully comprehend why it had started or when she had become the enemy. She only knew that there wasn’t a single person anywhere she could call. No one who would give her a hug and say it was going to be all right. Not one person who counted as a true friend.
* * *
“I’m here for the five o’clock class,” Andi said happily.
She stood in front of the small, sleek reception desk at Scoop and Stretch, the Pilates and yoga studio in town.
The receptionist, a beautiful twentysomething brunette, glanced at her. “I don’t have any privates scheduled.”
“I’m here for the mat class. I called a couple of days ago and signed up.”
“Did you say you were new?” The brunette gave her a smile. “We ask all our new clients to take at least one private lesson first, to make sure they’re clear on how to do the exercises. We don’t want you getting hurt.”
“Oh, I thought I mentioned I hadn’t been here.”
Andi’s good mood deflated. She’d rearranged her appointments specifically to get here on time. Another very long Sunday had reminded her that she had been the one to decide to live on the island. It was up to her to make a life for herself. Find friends and activities she would enjoy. Exercise had never been one of her favorites, but at least in a class she could speak to other people.
“Have you done Pilates before?” the receptionist asked.
“Not really.”
A petite redhead with the body of a dancer walked toward the desk. “I’m Marlie. I’m teaching the five o’clock class. You’re welcome to try it if you’d like, but with five other students, I won’t be able to do much more than keep an eye on you. If you’re okay with that, I am. Then you can get a feel for what we do here and decide if you want to continue.”
“Sure.” Andi was less confident now. She’d assumed a class meant a group. Not just six students.
“Problem solved,” the brunette said with a smile. “You can drop your stuff over there.”
She pointed to a row of open shelving with wire baskets. Andi placed her purse inside one.
The other students ranged in age from early twenties to a woman in her sixties. Nearly everyone was fit-looking, wearing black, with bare feet. Thinking she should have taken time to get a pedicure, Andi stepped out of her shoes and put them in the basket with her bag.
“Let’s get started,” Marlie said.
Andi followed the women to a row of mats up against the wall. Each one had a metal frame anchored into the wall and various springs and handles hanging. Everyone sat on a mat and faced forward. Andi took one on the end.
“We’ll start with the hundred,” Marlie said.
Hundred what? Andi saw the other woman lying down and reaching for a pair of handles. She did the same. She raised her legs like everyone else, tucked her chin into her chest and immediately felt a burning in both her stomach and the back of her legs. Were they going to hold this count for—
“And we pump. Inhale two, three, four, five. Exhale, two, three, four, five.”
To Andi’s horror everyone began pumping their arms up and down while keeping their legs together and raised at a ninety-degree angle.
“Heels together, toes apart,” Marlie said as she walked by. “Chin to chest, Andi. Pull in your core.”
By sixty, Andi’s stomach was trembling. By a hundred, she knew she’d made a hideous mistake. Worse, it turned out doing the hundred was actually one of the easier exercises.
Fifty minutes later, she lay on the mat panting and unsure if she could stand. Despite having studied anatomy, she had muscles complaining in places she didn’t know muscles existed.
Everyone else bounced to their feet and thanked Marlie for the class. Andi managed to get to her hands and knees, then stagger to her feet.
“What did you think?” Marlie asked.
“It was great.”
“You did fine. Why don’t you schedule a couple of private lessons to get to know all the different exercises, then try the class again? Everyone’s so friendly
here. It’s a lot of fun.”
Andi looked at the women chatting by the front of the studio. They were a little sweaty, but didn’t look as if they’d been run over by buses. Even the woman in her sixties moved easily, as if the class hadn’t been that much of a challenge.
“I’m not sure I’d use the word fun, but I think I would like to try again.” When she’d recovered.
She made her way to her car and climbed inside. Her arm actually shook as she inserted the key, then started the engine. Good thing she wasn’t driving a manual transmission. No way she could work a clutch in her present condition.
She was so sore that just driving up the hill to her house hurt. She’d never been one to exercise, and now she was paying the price. She wondered if she would even be able to move in the morning.
She parked in front of her house and for once, the sight of Wade’s big truck didn’t get much of a reaction. She was sweaty, red-faced and wearing very unflattering sweats and a T-shirt. If she continued to go to Scoop and Stretch, she was going to have to invest in some cute workout clothes. She wondered if there were exercise clothes with built-in shape-wear.
She dragged herself up the stairs to the front porch, then walked inside. Wade stood with a clipboard in his hands.
“I have something to show you,” he told her, pointing to the back of the house.
She dropped her purse and tote with her work clothes on the bottom stair and limped after him. He paused in front of several pieces of wood.
“We finished most of the electrical and we’re framing out the offices. By the end of the week, you’ll see where the various rooms are going to be.”
“Progress,” she said, and tried to smile. “That’s great.”
He studied her for a second. “I have a few work orders I need you to sign. For the fixtures and switches. Also, the medical supplier called and we’re on target for the examination tables.”
He went into more detail and she did her best to listen, but her heart wasn’t in it.
This was her life, she thought, staring at the wood framing, the exposed floor supports. This house, this island. She really had moved away from all her friends, her routine, everything she’d ever known. She was starting over with nothing more than an old ratty house, a job she loved and very weak stomach muscles.
While having a career gave her a big jump up on a lot of people, it didn’t keep her warm at night. She’d been so sure she was done with men, only she wasn’t and now she was on the island. What was she supposed to do about dating here? Wade was the only single guy she’d met and he hadn’t shown the slightest hint of interest.
“You don’t like it,” Wade said.
She stared at him. “Like what? Sorry. I disappeared into my head. Can you repeat that?”
“Sure, but are you okay?”
She opened her mouth, then closed it. “No, I’m not. I moved here without realizing what I was doing. Everyone is either in a family or a tourist. I have no friends, no hobbies, no bathtub. I deliberately cut myself off from the world and now I’m stuck. There are no single guys. At least none I’ve met and even if I do find one, I haven’t been on a first date in a decade. I don’t know if anything is different and I wasn’t very good at it before. I doubt age has improved that. I’m alone, lonely and if anyone tells you about an exercise called stomach massage, don’t think it’s a good thing, because it isn’t.”
Wade looked at her for a long time, then cleared his throat. “So we should talk about the light fixtures tomorrow?”
She didn’t know if she should laugh or break into hysterical sobs. “Sure. Sorry. This isn’t your problem. I love what you’re doing with the house.”
“Thank you.”
He retreated so quickly she half expected to see skid marks on the subflooring. She went upstairs, showered and changed. When she came back downstairs, Wade was packing up for the night.
He walked to the front door, then glanced back. “It’ll get better.”
“You don’t actually know that, but thank you for the optimistic take.”
He chuckled. “You’re a little ray of sunshine, aren’t you?”
“I’m pragmatic.”
“Don’t worry about dating. It hasn’t changed.”
“I hope not.”
“See you tomorrow, Andi.” He gave her a quick wave, then left.
She sank down on the bottom stair and dropped her head into her hands. Yup, a complete lack of interest. She wasn’t even surprised.
Chapter Eleven
DEANNA SLICED THE bread she’d baked the previous week and collected what she needed to make sandwiches. Except for Madison, the girls were still in bed, which meant another few minutes of peace.
Just another hour, two at the most, she told herself. Then Colin would be gone and the girls would be at school. She glanced at the clock and abandoned the sandwiches. She had to get the girls up.
She climbed the stairs. As she walked down the hall, she heard voices coming from the master.
“Why?” Madison was asking. “Daddy, we need you here.”
Deanna paused in the hallway.
“I know, baby girl. I want to be here, too. I’m working on changing things.”
“Not hard enough. It’s because of her, isn’t it? She makes you go. I wish she would go instead.”
Deanna felt the words stab through to her heart.
“You don’t mean that.” Colin’s voice was quiet.
“I do,” her twelve-year-old insisted. “I hate her.”
Deanna flinched.
“Madison.” Colin’s tone warned. “You will speak of your mother with respect.”
“I don’t respect her and I don’t like her. You can’t make me like her. Why would I? Why would any of us? The twins are too young to know any better, but Audrey and Lucy feel the same way. She’s horrible.”
Deanna felt herself getting smaller and weaker by the second. She turned and quickly stumbled downstairs. Once she was in the kitchen, she pressed her hands to her belly and told herself to keep breathing.
This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be. How could Madison say those things? She didn’t know what a horrible mother was. She’d had it too easy. Somehow this was all Colin’s fault. He’d done this.
A few minutes later, he walked into the kitchen. Deanna turned on him.
“So that’s how it’s going to be?” she demanded. “You’re turning my own children away from me?”
He stood there in his suit, overnight case in one hand, briefcase in the other. “I didn’t tell her what to say.”
“No, but you encouraged it. You want to turn my children from me. You don’t want me to have anything.”
“I won’t accept that,” he told her. “Whatever you have going on with Madison is between the two of you.”
“Sure. Take the easy way out. You always do.” She slapped her hands on the counter. “If I’m so awful, why did you marry me? Why do you stay?”
He drew in a breath. “I loved you, Deanna. I thought we would be happy together. As to why I stay...” He shrugged. “Some days it beats the hell out of me. I suppose because of the girls and what you and I once had. I want to know if we have a chance together. I’m starting to think we don’t.” He started for the door. “I’ll email you the details of my trip later.”
And then he was gone.
Deanna drew in a breath. Hysteria was a heartbeat away. She could feel pain and anger building up inside her until all she wanted to do was scream. There were still the girls to get up and sandwiches to make and...
She couldn’t do this, couldn’t take it. She didn’t have the strength or the will. She had to keep breathing, but she couldn’t breathe. Her chest was too tight. She was going to pass out.
Moving at a run, she raced to t
he sink and turned on the water. Still gasping for air, she plunged her hands under the scalding water and let it flow over her already raw skin. Then she pumped soap into her hand and began to wash.
* * *
Andi stood in the middle of the perfect garden and glanced slowly from side to side. Boston hadn’t been kidding when she’d said that Deanna’s yard was a perfect complement to the house. The front yard was pretty, but the backyard was stunning. There were paths and trimmed hedges, herbs and flowers. Andi tried to find inspiration and instead felt only defeat. She didn’t know a dandelion from a petunia and wasn’t sure how to cultivate one while getting rid of the other.
If her own yard wasn’t so hideous, she would tell herself to simply wait—tackling one project at a time. Only the dead grass and overgrown beds made her unhappy every time she saw them. Imagine what the ever-perfect Deanna must think. Looking at all that ugly might actually cause a medical condition.
She drew in a breath. She could figure out what to do. Or hire a landscaper to do the figuring for her. He or she would be like Wade, but outdoors. Or maybe not like Wade, Andi thought grimly. She didn’t want to find someone else she could basically throw herself at only to be ignored. Having that happen once every decade or so was enough fun for her.
With Matt it had been different, she thought. Not better, but different. Matt had decided everything. When they’d talked about their future, it had been in terms of what he wanted. He’d been on her mother’s side when it came to Andi’s career, pressuring her to specialize. He’d hated her clothes and her hair. He’d wanted her to get it cut and have it straightened.
She blinked several times. “Matt was a jackass,” she murmured. “A complete and total egotistical, selfish asshole and I said I would marry him. Which makes me the real idiot.”
The back door of Deanna’s house opened and Deanna stepped onto the porch. “Andi?”
Andi felt herself flush. “Hi,” she said, giving a weak wave.
“I heard voices. Is someone with you?”
Andi was in the middle of her neighbor’s backyard, in the middle of the day, without an invitation. There really didn’t seem to be a good explanation, except maybe the truth.
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