by Paige Edward
“Um,” I began, my voice a little higher pitched than normal, “thanks, but I should really get home—I mean—I have to get up early for work tomorrow and I have a ton of commissions.”
Hunter nodded his head in agreement, but then was silent on the ride back, apparently deep in thought. Or maybe he was disappointed.
“Uh, Hunter?” I began, feeling goosebumps run down my body. “Do you have a heater? I’m a little chilly.”
Silently, he adjusted the temperature only on my side of the front seat. These new expensive cars.
When we arrived in front of my house, I quickly thanked him for dinner, and moved to get out of the car. Hunter leaned over and grabbed my arm, pulling me back into the plush seat.
“It’s really been wonderful to see you, Ames,” he said softly. He scooted closer to the console between us, and gave me a slow kiss on the lips. I couldn’t help but kiss him back, slowly sucking on his bottom lip, because it felt good and I was also curious what it would feel like to kiss him again.
“Mmmm,” he growled, and slowly began to slide his hand down my neck towards my breasts.
As much as I wanted us to keep going, I knew my heart wasn’t really in it. I couldn’t stop wishing he was Ryan. I gently put my hand on his arm and gave it a light squeeze. His hand was still on my breasts, rubbing my nipples, and he began snaking his hand down my torso, towards my center. My body immediately responded, and I felt my panties getting wet with want. I had to stop him before my judgment became too impaired.
I gently pushed his hand away. “Hunter, really it’s been great to see you. And I’m happy to be friends again.”
He stopped kissing me and looked me right in the eyes, getting the point. I could see his gaze harden as he tried to play it cool.
“I need to get going anyway, do some work for tomorrow. See you around.” His tone of voice said it all. I guess he didn’t really care about being friends. It was just a ruse to get me into bed. He just thought I was easy.
Humiliation washed over me, hot and sticky like old honey. I could feel myself blushing as I slowly opened the car door. This was why I could never trust him. He always played with people like this—dangled an opportunity in front of them and snatched it away the moment they reached for it. I took a breath of the cool, calming sea air as I shut the car door.
I turned my head back to him, and again our eyes found each other. I was no longer the same girl he knew inside and out in high school. And I didn’t need any of his shit.
CHAPTER 21
Amy
After the embarrassment of the night before, I was eager to get to back to the store and lose myself in work. I couldn’t even tell Jamie about the date, or whatever it was--I’d been too mortified by Hunter’s attitude. I wasn’t some booty call. I decided to try and forget about it. I was seeing Ryan the next day and he was the real deal.
What I needed was a girl’s night out. I quickly texted both Jamie and Cat, and turned on my “Relax” playlist. I wanted to push the negatives thoughts out of my mind and focus on the calligraphy for the wedding invitations I needed to finish.
As Bon Iver played through the speakers, my phone beeped. Jaime was in. A few seconds later, it beeped again, but instead of Cat’s name popping up, it was Ryan. I opened it. It was just one sentence, short and to-the-point, but enough to send a thrill of excitement down my spine.
I’m excited about dinner Saturday night.
I couldn’t hide my grin. If someone had come into the store right then, they’d think I didn’t have a brain, my smile was so wide.
After the disaster that was yesterday, it was such a relief to know someone was looking forward to having a date with me. My pull to Ryan was like nothing I’d ever experienced. Maybe that was a bad thing, though. Maybe I shouldn’t so easily surrender to that pull. But if I didn’t go out with him, I’d feel like a total loser. What kind of person doesn’t go out with someone because she’s too attracted to him?
I decided to wait until mid-morning to write him back. He didn’t need to know how eager I was, he didn’t need to know I was totally agonizing over this, basically counting the minutes until I could see him next. Let him think I was too busy to answer.
A few minutes later, the door jingled, and one of the pretty women who had sat at her table at the fundraiser walked in.
With a huge smile on her face, she reintroduced herself. “Hi, not sure you remember me. I’m Violet, we met at the school fundraiser a few days ago?” It wasn’t a question but she phrased it like one, raising her tone and cocking her head to the side at the end of her sentence.
“Of course I remember,” I said swiftly. “You were interested in invitations for your son’s christening.” I said a silent prayer that she hadn’t noticed Ryan nearly bringing me to a release at a table full of people.
“Good memory.” Violet grinned. As we went through the different options for color, trim, type, and grade of paper, Violet entertained me by confessing how boring she thought events like the fundraiser and other networking political events were. “You have to buy a new dress for every single dinner,” she said, flicking through cardstock options. “Plus, speaking to the same boring politicians over and over…”
I smiled in response. Since I didn’t have many opportunities to get dressed up, I’d had a good time. Although my date and his hands had a lot to do with that.
As Violet went through the typography in one of my books, hesitating a moment before she asked “So, are you dating Ryan Anderson?” So that was the real reason she had come into the store. She tried to make her face look passive, unimpressed, but the intent in her eyes betrayed her. It was obvious she desperately wanted to know. I blushed. “You know,” Violet added, “he is one of the most eligible bachelors around--and the most ruthless businessmen.”
I wasn’t sure quite what that meant. Was she implying he was a player? Or was it just his wealth that made him so “eligible?” And ruthless? I knew he was serious about business, and I’d seen firsthand how uptight he could get about work, and okay, I guess he was also arrogant about some of the deals he’d made--but ruthless? I didn’t know what to say. Should I defend him? Was I dating him? Didn’t you have go out a few times to be official? And did I really want to announce to someone I barely knew who I was or wasn’t dating? Because of who Ryan was, it seemed like the rules of dating were different.
Violet pushed on, apparently oblivious to the questions zooming through my head like racecars, “I mean he has it all, right?” She smiled sweetly, retying her hair into a low ponytail as she talked. “Hot, sexy, handsome, and incredibly successful. But you probably don’t need me to point that out.”
Maybe she didn’t mean any harm by asking, I told myself as I smiled along with her. Most women who knew or saw Ryan probably admired him, if only for his looks. She probably just wanted to connect with me. But that still didn’t mean I was going to tell this woman how I felt about him.
This conversation was making me feel slightly territorial. And totally embarrassed. I tried my best to stay calm. Flashing Violet a coy and relaxed grin, I finally answered, “We’ll see.” It was the truth. Maybe the attraction I felt between Ryan and me wasn’t more than a passing feeling. Maybe he wouldn’t be interested in me after our next dinner date. Maybe I wouldn’t be interested in him. Though something in the back of my mind—maybe the lingering memory of our first date on the beach—made me doubt that very much. Not to mention, our hot night after the fundraiser.
I was happy that I was going out with Jamie and hopefully Cat tonight. It was a lot better than sitting at home obsessing over the weekend’s upcoming date.
As I recorded the information Violet wanted on her invitations, she seemed to finally get the hint and stopped asking about Ryan. I helped her finish up her invites and we agreed I’d have them to her to proof in a week. And she promised to send all of her friends to the shop. I was glad I hadn’t come off as bitchy. I wasn’t, but I was private, especially when I didn’t even k
now where my feelings were, or where I stood.
CHAPTER 22
Amy
Sipping my gin and tonic, I looked across the table towards my two friends, and then out to the ocean. We hadn’t met up for drinks in ages. With the opening of my new store, Jaime’s crazy hostess schedule at the new and upscale Fig restaurant, and Cat’s insanely long hours at the real estate management company, it was hard to find a time when all three of us were available. Jamie and Cat are so awesome--it was always great to be with these two. They were zany and fun, and I loved them.
When I first met Cat in college, we immediately clicked. We were in this outrageous costume design course that was supposed to be taught by a once famous Broadway costumer. He was the teacher all right, but unfortunately so stuck in the 1980s, the height of his hey-day, that only gold or skin-tight over the top sequin bodysuits were sacrosanct. So basically we’d spend the whole semester making costumes that would blend in perfectly to the ensemble of Cats.
Being with Cat and Jaime should have taken my mind off Ryan but my brain wouldn’t let it rest. I kept imagining his lips against mine, trailing down my body, grabbing, taking, dominating. I could still feel the way his hands felt on the inside of my thighs.
“Earth to Amy.” Jamie waved her fingers in front of me. “Um, hello? So what happened the other night with Ryan?”
Cat turned towards Jamie, her eyes widening. “Did Amy tell you what he looks like? A fucking rock star. He is so unbelievably hot. When are you gonna give us the details?”
I didn’t know what to say. That I’ve never met someone I was so attracted to? That for all his businessman seriousness and sometimes superior demeanor, I have, like, the world’s biggest crush? I wasn’t ready to tell them—not yet. I didn’t want to put all of my eggs in one basket.
“It wasn’t anything special. You know, just a date or two with Ryan Anderson,” I said.
Cat threw her hands up in the air—one of her trademark over-the-top but endearing gestures. “What? The guy we saw on the hike was the Ryan Anderson?” She was practically squealing. “He’s trying to buy the company where I work. He’s like the richest, most inscrutable businessmen out there! Everything he touches turns to gold. No one knows what his secret is, how he got so good.”
I knew he was rich--hell I’d been in his car--but I had no idea he was so well known. Jaime looked over at me wryly and smiled.
“Guess Amy and I aren’t quite in the same orbit as you Cat. At least I had no idea he was mega wealthy.”
“Me neither,” I sighed. Now I was falling for someone who was too handsome, too smart, and too rich. I didn’t have a problem with people having money, but I’d always had to work hard for mine and I wasn’t sure I could be with someone who didn’t know what it meant to clean your own bathroom.
“Okay, okay,” I said, placing my drink down on the table. “Enough about me. Cat, tell us about your man.” I didn’t want them to spend the whole time focusing on my love life. In fact, I didn’t feel like talking about me at all. I was too confused to be able to explain it. And Cat always had the best men stories—the latest flirtation with her co-worker’s boss kept Jaime and me entranced for months: first the shared touch over a paper-clip, which escalated to some side to side contact during a meeting when they were seated next to each other on the couch. With our encouragement, Cat dropped subtle (or not-so-subtle) hints about her break-up, her weekend plans, and finally he’d taken the hint.
They’d been together non-stop for the last month doing it all over the office. Last week was his desk, the week before the bathroom. They were checking off each room in the whole building. Not my style, but hey, Cat likes to live on the edge.
“Cat, you are going to get rug burn,” Jaime said laughing. She should know—the two of them were active daters, and always on my case about getting coochie cobwebs. At least now, they could back off.
When I asked Jaime about her latest conquests, she shrugged. She’d been seeing that hot bartender at the restaurant, but apparently he was an alcoholic and not so good the morning after.
“There is this guy who has been coming in a lot lately, usually after work with some co-workers, or for dinner with friends. Doesn’t seem like he is dating anyone and he’s always super cute, complimenting my outfits, but he hasn’t made any moves.” She made a face as she took a sip of her Mai Tai. “So it’s a dry spell for me.”
I snorted. “A dry spell? I don’t think it can be considered dry unless you’ve gone without for at least longer than a week.”
The girls laughed. Jaime wasn’t what you’d call easy; she preferred to call herself proactive, she knew what—or more accurately, who—she wanted and would do what she could to get it. I sure hoped she and Cat were rubbing off on me. I looked at my two closest friends and felt so lucky. I don’t know what I would do without them.
Two women walked past, and sat down at the table next to us. My gaze slid over to them as I took a long sip of my drink. One of them was familiar, but who was it? I put my drink down, and suddenly the realization hit me. It was Jennifer, Hunter’s ex from the barbeque.
I didn’t want to be a jerk and we’d definitely already made eye contact, so I turned towards her table.
“Hi Jennifer, we met at the Morgan’s barbeque. Jamie was there,” I said gesturing across our table to her. “And this is Cat.”
“Annie was it?” she asked, not taking her eyes off the menu. She couldn’t even pretend to be friendly? I thought as I stirred the ice in my cup a little too hard. It was okay to forget my name, but her tone of voice was like hell frozen over.
“Amy,” I said, ignoring her bitchy attitude. “Well I don’t want to interrupt you two. Nice to see you again.” Without saying another word, she turned back towards her friend, effectively dismissing me. Cat grinned, as Jamie rolled her eyes. I didn’t care.
I’d wanted to talk to them a little about my feelings for Ryan. But there was no way I could do that now. Anyway, I should probably sit with it on my own first. I hoped there could be a future with Ryan, and I couldn’t deny the incredible chemistry between us, but to be totally honest, it scared me. It made me feel out of control, like I was hurtling down a ski slope with no way to stop myself. If Ryan wasn’t there to catch me, I don’t know what would happen.
And I wanted to tell them about what had happened with Hunter. But I felt strange even to be thinking about him, this close to Jennifer. And I was upset that he’d gotten under my skin at all. I didn’t want to harbor any feelings towards him. He could still make me so angry, and that he could evoke such intense feelings in me, further pissed me off.
I just needed to have this next date with Ryan and get over my fear of being too captivated by him.
The girls were a welcome distraction, but I couldn’t get my mind off of him and what might happen with us.
CHAPTER 23
Amy
I decided to buy myself something new. I hadn’t gone shopping in ages, and I thought this next date with Ryan warranted some very special lingerie. Right after lunchtime, I wrote out a sign, and put it on the door of my shop, “Be Back In 5 Minutes,” hoping if anyone came, they’d take that time liberally. I stopped by the boutique where I used to work--they had amazing clothes--and Pamela, the sweet owner always gave me a deal.
I walked in and was immediately greeted by Pamela’s warm smile.
“How is the store going? You’ve really done a beautiful job, Amy.” She was always encouraging me. I was so fortunate to have found the job with her right after my mom left. She’d helped me so much over the years, keeping me on track, advising me on how to care for Luke as she had two boys of her own.
“It’s going well. The commissions coming in are great, and the walking traffic on this street is so good as you know. I’m hopeful that it’s gonna work.”
“Come look over at this new shipment. I know lingerie isn’t usually your thing, but--”
I interrupted her. “Actually today, that is exactly what I came
in for.” It felt a little awkward to say that to Pamela, but after working together for so long and helping with the most outrageous customers, my announcement was incredibly tame.
We headed over to the panties and bra section. I wanted something special, but not too racy. Something that said sweet and salty at the same time. Pamela peered at me over her glasses, and then showed all the new merchandise. After a few minutes of oohing and aweing over her taste and the gorgeous products, she left me be at the table. She knew I didn’t need any help.
There were gorgeous silks, light and airy cottons, sleek satins. I picked up a rose-colored push-up bra, and found the matching panties. They were soft, and delicate, but the lacy panties and sheer bra straps were anything but innocent. I couldn’t help but imagine what it would feel like to have Ryan’s hands all over me again. Yes, these would be perfect.
I looked at the table again, and found a saucy black pair of lacey panties and matching bra. Maybe I could talk Ryan into a second act if I had a wardrobe change. I needed to get those too.
When I walked to the register, I could barely hide my grin.
“Hot date?” Pamela asked, a playful twinkle in her eye. I blushed and began stammering. “Oh sweetheart, I’m just teasing you. A woman needs some nice lingerie, no matter what.” She He was still had an almost irresistible charm and confidence, patted me on the hand and finished ringing me up. I lifted my head and smiled at her. I don’t know why I got so embarrassed. Must have been those damn racy thoughts—I felt like she could read my mind.
