by Liz Davis
Maya knew that all of the vestiges of pain she’d been carrying around for the last few years weren’t going to instantly disappear like magic, but she knew that burning the relationship keepsakes would definitely give her a strong start. As the fire began to die down, she grabbed a bottle of water she’d brought along and quelled the flames with the liquid, making sure it was completely extinguished before placing the bottle of liquid back in her backpack.
Once the smoke had cleared, and the scent of burning wood was nearly gone, Maya remained in place, looking at the blackened remainders of the letters and photographs she’d once treasured. They were now reduced to a pile of ash, and would soon be blown away by the wind.
She got onto her feet and headed over to the creek, which was only a few yards from where she’d been sitting. Reaching into her pocket, she retrieved a piece of paper that had three of her deepest resentments scribbled on it. Two of them were related to Dylan—no surprise there. But the third one had to do with her mother, and the fact that she’d never been able to properly raise her. She knew that the time had come for her to properly deal with these negative feelings inside her, and for the first time in her life, she was truly ready to release them.
As she reached the edge of the river, she squatted down and leaned forward a bit, placing the folded-up paper into the bubbling creek. As the note was carried away by the water, Maya watched it float along, her eyes following its path as it moved farther down the river. Once it was out of sight, she averted her eyes from the path it had taken and rose back onto her feet. Then she retreated from the river and headed off into the distance.
* * * *
Maya walked up the pathway to Evan’s residence, and as she reached his apartment, she pressed the doorbell. She waited anxiously, nervously twisting the strap of her purse as she bit her lip.
There was the sound of footsteps approaching, and as the door swung open she saw Evan standing before her. She was rendered speechless by his appearance, and never imagined that his soft brown eyes could look so cold. His lips were drawn in a thin, straight line, which only enhanced his stern expression. Dark circles lined his eyes, and heavy bags accompanied them, suggesting that he’d suffered through a sleepless night. This wasn’t the Evan she was used to, and the way he was staring her down made her feel as if she were in the targets of a deadly weapon.
“Please go away. I don’t feel like talking right now.” He started to push the door closed, but Maya stopped him, sticking the foot of her shoe across the threshold.
Evan glanced down at her foot, which was blocking the door, and then he lifted his eyes back up to her level. The look he gave her clearly suggested his annoyance. A few seconds of tense silence passed between them.
“I won’t go away. Not until you hear me out.” Her gaze was serious, silently expressing her refusal to leave.
He stared at her for a few more minutes, then widened the door to let her in. As Maya entered his apartment, her eyes roved curiously around the interior. A tall bookshelf stood in one corner of the room, and a round wicker chair sat directly next to it, piled high with freshly washed laundry. A stack of books was piled on an antique trunk that was being utilized as a coffee table, and a carton of orange juice sat on a small end table. Aside from a few stray socks and a pair of boxers on the carpet, Evan’s apartment was relatively neat.
“Can I?” Motioning toward the couch, Maya glanced at Evan to make sure it was all right for her to sit down.
He offered only a nod in response.
Maya took a seat on the edge of the cushion, watching as he pulled a seat over from the kitchen table, then placed it a few feet away from her. She noticed that he purposely sat on the other side of the coffee table, as if he felt the need to create a buffer zone between them. It stung her to see him treat her as if she were some type of untouchable, but she just kept reminding herself that he was still hurting.
“What I’m about to tell you is entirely true, Evan. I just hope you’ll forgive me and bury this bad energy between us.”
She left a moment of silence open for him to answer, but when he didn’t say anything back, she launched into the story of how Valentine’s night had managed to go so terribly wrong. Maya gave him every detail of what happened, starting with her running into Dylan at the arena, and ending it with the moment where he’d stripped out of his towel and forcibly bared himself for her eyes.
“So nothing really happened. It was all just a big misunderstanding. And besides, didn’t you see I was fully dressed? If fooling around, do you really think he’d be completely naked while I was fully clothed?”
“I never accused you of doing anything with him. My issue is with your decision to drive him home.” His voice came out sounding pained, as if the memory of yesterday evening was enough to cause a new wound.
“Look Evan, I know it was a bad idea, but I can’t undo it. I wish you could just forgive me for it so that we could move on.”
“I would love to move on, but you’re the one who seems so intent on holding onto the past. You still care for him, and that’s what’s keeping our relationship from progressing.”
“I don’t care for him at all. I already explained why I decided to drive him home.”
Evan crossed his arms in front of his chest. “I don’t like you being around him. I want this to stop, and I want it to stop for good. I don’t want you talking to him anymore, do you understand?”
She was surprised by the possessiveness in his voice. “I understand you being upset, Evan, but it doesn’t give you the right to take that tone of voice with me.”
His features softened as he offered an apology. “I’m sorry, but when I love someone, I can’t stand the thought of anyone else being with them.”
“What did you say?” She’d clearly heard him speak the word ‘love,’ but that didn’t stop her from wanting him to confirm it.
She figured he was too wrapped up in his own thoughts to take much notice of her question, because he didn’t give any response. Evan stood up from the chair he was sitting in and walked over to the kitchen window, glancing out at the view beyond. As he stood there with his back to her, Maya silently studied him, noting the way his shoulders slightly rose and fell with every breath he took. She could see, through the window, that there were a few clouds in the sky, and a few rays of amber light shone through them, throwing golden light against the wall of the kitchen.
“Evan?”
His head gave a slight tilt in response to the sound of her voice, but not a word passed his lips. Deciding to go over to him, she stood up from the couch and came to join him at the window.
“I’m sorry, okay? I should never have let it happen.”
With his eyes still pinned on some point in the distance, he responded, “There’s no reason to be sorry.”
“Yes there is. If I’d never let him in the car, he wouldn’t have ended up in my house. And this whole thing wouldn’t have happened.”
He remained quiet, prompting her to continue.
“I don’t even know why I gave him a ride home. Guess I felt sorry for him.” She gave a humorless chuckle. “I actually felt sorry for him after all the dirt he’s done to me. Guess that makes me the biggest fool on earth. Sad, aren’t I?”
Evan turned his head to look at her. “No, you’re not sad. And you’re not a fool either. You have a good heart, and unfortunately, some people enjoy taking advantage of that.”
“Yeah, I know. Guess I should toughen up and stop being so nice.”
“Well, don’t change who you are because of that asshole. You just have to be more wary. You want to believe the best in people, but unfortunately, not everyone has those good sides to them.”
“I’m sorry you had to see Dylan there last night. I can only imagine how badly it must have hurt.”
“Please don’t say his name. I don’t like hearing you talk about him.”
Turning her attention to the window, Maya looked out at the view beyond, admiring the way that t
he sunlight illuminated the sparse clouds. The view in front of them was peaceful and calm, but the way she felt inside was a direct contrast to the serenity of the sky. She needed to know where she stood with Evan. For weeks on end, she’d been trying to convince him that she was no longer tied to Dylan emotionally, but the events of last night had obviously caused him to once again doubt her, and he was understandably feeling unsettled about the whole thing. Turning her attention back to his face, she closely studied him, noting the deep, dark circles, and the redness in his eyes. It was obvious he’d been through hell last night, and knowing he’d experienced so much pain because of her made her feel terrible.
Evan stepped away from the window and headed into the kitchen. After retrieving a bottle of aspirin from the drawer, he filled a glass with water, and then swallowed the pills.
“You have a headache?”
He nodded, and set the glass down, then leaned against the counter and crossed his arms in front of his chest. His gaze lowered to focus on the pattern of the kitchen tiles. Maya noticed that he seemed to be avoiding eye contact with her, and began to feel awkward just standing there.
“You probably want to be alone, so I guess I’ll be on my way.” She turned to head out of the kitchen, but he before she could go he grabbed her by the hand. He placed a palm against the small of her back, and used his other one to tenderly stroke her hair. As his eyes peered deeply into hers, she was relieved to see they were once again soft and kind looking.
“Sorry for being in such a mood.” The corners of his lips tugged into a little smile.
“It’s okay. You had every right to be upset. I’m just glad we could work things out.”
“So am I.” He released a little sigh and then said, “I knew he would try and get back with you eventually. I just wasn’t sure when or how it would happen.”
“I should never have let my guard down. That was a huge mistake on my part, but you don’t have to worry about something like that ever happening again.”
“I know, Maya. I believe you. Listen, I know it’s only been a little over three weeks since we first met, but even with all that’s gone on, the good times we shared have far outweighed the bad. I just want you to know that I’m in this for the long haul. I really want us to be solid.”
“So do I.”
“Good.” Evan slid his palm across her face, gingerly stroking her cheek. “By the way, I need to apologize.”
“What for? You didn’t do anything.”
“Yes, I did. I mistrusted you.”
Maya lowered her gaze and then looked back up at him. “I can’t blame you for that, Evan. Considering the situation, I think it was pretty much a given for you to be upset with me.”
“But I never should have doubted you, not even for a minute. Now that I know the truth, it makes me feel sort of lousy to think you would ever betray me. When I first got to your apartment and I saw that he was there…” His voice trailed off and he shook his head in displeasure at the memory. “Deep down inside, I knew you would never do something like that to me, but then there was also a little voice that kept telling me to doubt you. So it was like I was stuck between doubting you and then wondering if maybe something really had happened. But I should have known better, Maya. What we have is very special so I know you’d never cheat on me.”
“Of course not, you’re my sweetie.”
His lips curled into a smile, and he pressed his lips to hers in a kiss. It started out as a tender embrace, and then suddenly their tongues merged, sending sparks of passion through both of their bodies. As their lips parted, Evan pulled Maya up against him, and he wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tight. They embraced for a good half minute before pulling away from each other.
“We’ve been through a lot, you and me. But I know it’s all got to be worth it because every time something happens, it only seems to bring us closer together.”
“This is true,” she said.
“We’re meant to stay together, don’t you think?”
Feigning uncertainty, Maya averted her eyes for a few moments and then looked back at him. “Yeah, I think we are.”
“Wait a minute. What was that pause for?” A small crease formed between his eyebrows.
Her lips tugged upward. “I was only kidding around. Of course we’re meant to be.”
“Only kidding, huh?” He cocked an eyebrow, giving her his most intense look.
Maya gave a little laugh, and her dimples came into view, coaxing a smile out of him.
He brushed a lock of hair away from her eyes. “That creep didn’t try and touch you, did he?”
“Nope.”
“Good. Because if he did, I’d definitely go after him.”
“He did steal my money, though.”
“Wait a minute, what?” His eyebrows dipped into a frown.
“I keep money in my medicine cabinet for emergencies, and when I went into the bathroom last night to take some aspirin, I noticed the cash was missing. So I guess he found it and ended up taking off with it.”
Evan shook his head in disgust. “Okay, now I’m getting angry all over again. What a lowlife. See, this is what I was talking about. People like him don’t think twice about taking advantage of people.”
“Yeah, and I feel like a total fool because of it. Oh well, what can I do? I’m not about to go after him just for the money. For all the trouble he’s caused me, it just isn’t worth it.”
“Don’t worry. He’ll get what’s coming to him.” He stroked his fingertips against the small of her back. “Can you stay over tonight?”
“I’d love to, but I didn’t bring anything with me.”
“I have an extra toothbrush, and I also have face wash. I noticed the brand name at your apartment, so on my last trip to the store I decided to pick some up. Figured I may as well have some on hand, just in case I ever managed to persuade you to stay over.”
“Oh, I see, so you were planning this all along, huh?”
Evan gave her a grin. “Maybe just a little.”
For a few moments, they stood there in comfortable silence, just cuddling each other, and then Evan spoke.
“I wake up every morning with the smell of you on my pillows.”
“How? This is the first time I’ve been to your apartment.”
“You know that perfume oil you like to wear? The jasmine-scented one?”
“Yeah.”
“I put a few drops in the pillows on my bed. It kind of makes me feel like I’m going to sleep with you by my side.”
“Really?” Her eyes lit up from his words.
“Yeah, the last time I was at your apartment, I swiped one of the oils off the dresser. I know it sounds like a weird thing to do, but I just love the way you smell. Hope that doesn’t freak you out.”
“No, I think it’s very sweet.”
“I can buy you another one if you like.”
“No, it’s okay, I don’t mind.” She wrapped her arms around his neck, “I’m so glad we’re back together. I just don’t feel right without you.”
“I know. I feel the same way. No matter what happens between us, let’s promise to always work things out, okay?”
She nodded.
“I hope you know you’re stuck with me, now.”
“And what if I decide to get unstuck?” Her tone of voice was clearly teasing.
“Then I’ll just have to tie you up and keep you captive, won’t I?”
“Mmm, that sounds very tempting, but do you actually plan on going through with it?”
“I will if I have to. Already have the rope and duct tape all ready for you.”
“And once you had me all tied up, just what exactly would you plan on doing?”
“Oh, I don’t know.” But as the smile on his face widened, she could tell that it was just the contrary. “I guess I have a couple of ideas.”
“Such as?”
“Dirty, unmentionable things. I have quite an imagination, you know.” He winked at her.
“Mmm.” His palms cupped the curve of her buttocks, gently massaging the round flesh.
Pressing her lips against his jawbone, she placed soft kisses all along the edge of it, gradually working her way down until she reached the pulse point of his neck. As she pressed her lips against it, she felt it move more rapidly, and then she began gently sucking on the skin there, hearing him moan in pleasure as she slid her tongue against his neck. She moved her hand along his thigh, allowing it to drift upward until it met with the bulge in his pants. Then she began to gently manipulate it with her fingers.
“Oh, baby, that feels good. I’m going to get hard in a minute if you don’t stop.”
“Yeah, that’s sort of the point.” She gave a little laugh.
“What do you say we take a nap first? Then, when we wake up, we can spend all night making love.” He offered her buttocks a firm squeeze, withdrawing a sound of pleasure from her.
“You want to take a nap before having sex? Wow, you must really be tired.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, well, I only got five hours sleep, so I’m pretty exhausted.”
She caressed his cheek with her palm. “Poor thing, you really do need to rest. I guess it’s my fault you’re so exhausted.”
“Hey, it’s okay, no need to blame yourself. It’s all in the past, so don’t worry about it.”
“Okay.”
He kissed her on the nose then said, “Let’s go take that nap.”
He led her out of the kitchen and down the hallway toward his bedroom. Once they were there, they stripped down to their underwear and then climbed beneath the covers, snuggling up close against each other. A light drizzle had begun to fall outside, creating a pattering noise against the bedroom window. The sound of it enhanced the cozy atmosphere of his bedroom, adding to the contentment that they felt. Burrowing her face in his neck, she tilted her lips upward and tenderly kissed the underside of his chin. A pleasurable noise came from his lips, and he hugged her closer.
