Honeysuckle Summer

by Sherryl Woods

  Mandy straightened. “Just tell me what to do.”

  “Take my hand and help me back inside. That’s all. I’ll be fine.”

  “Got it,” Mandy said confidently and bounded outside, as if the prospect of Raylene having a panic attack was no big deal.

  Raylene grabbed two bottled waters and followed her onto the patio, albeit more slowly. She joined Mandy at the edge of the garden, kneeling on the warm ground and carefully pulling the nearby weeds. The sun soaking into her shoulders felt wonderful. The air was steamy, but filled with the heady scent of roses.

  Beside her, Mandy was quiet, concentrating on pulling weeds, not flowers. Even though she worked quickly, it was evident how careful she was being not to harm the flowers.

  Even though Raylene felt the familiar comfort of nurturing such beautiful plants, she envied Mandy the ability to lose herself in the simple task. A part of Raylene kept waiting for the first wave of panic to hit. When it didn’t, even after a half hour, she told herself that staying any longer would be pushing her luck.

  She stood up, eyeing what she’d accomplished with satisfaction. Mandy’s efforts were even more impressive.

  “You’re really good at this,” she told the young teenager.

  Mandy looked skeptical. “It’s not exactly rocket science. I’m just yanking weeds. No big deal.”

  “Any job is worth doing well,” Raylene reminded her. “Be proud of what you do, whether it’s weeding a garden or schoolwork or rocket science. I’m going in to start dinner. Laurie will be home soon with Tommy and Libby. Would you like to stay?”

  Mandy’s expression brightened. “Can I?”

  “If it’s okay with Carter, of course you can.”

  “I’ll call him as soon as I come inside and wash up. I need a little while longer to finish.” Suddenly she beamed at Raylene. “You stayed out here almost as long as me!”

  Raylene grinned back at her. “I know. Pretty cool, huh?”

  Back inside, she started on dinner preparations. She put together a casserole of mac and cheese with bits of onion and browned hamburger. She cringed at the thought of all the cholesterol involved, but it was the kind of comfort food kids Mandy’s age still loved. With a salad, she could pretend the meal was reasonably healthy.

  She’d just put the casserole into the oven to bake, when Mandy came into the house with a piece of trailing vine in her hand and a worried expression on her face. “I pulled this out, but then I realized it has these amazingly sweet little flowers on it. Is it a weed or not?”

  Raylene stared at the honeysuckle with a bemused expression. She’d never noticed any in the yard before, not when she’d visited Sarah as a kid and not since she’d been back. It was usually hard to miss because it could take over in no time.

  Honeysuckle had been the bane of her existence in Charleston, left over from the home’s previous owner, and coming back no matter how many times she thought she’d rid the garden of the last of it. Its sweet scent and tenacity had eventually overcome her distaste for the disorder it created.

  “It’s honeysuckle,” she told Mandy. “I have no idea where it came from. I’ve never seen it in the yard before.”

  “Blame me,” Carter said, walking into the kitchen in time to overhear.

  She stared at him incredulously. “You planted it? Who does that?”

  He shrugged. “You talked about it being in your garden in Charleston, and then I happened to find some growing over the fence in our yard. Even though you acted like it was this huge annoyance, I thought I’d heard something in your voice. I thought maybe you actually liked the battle.”

  She was stunned that he’d gotten that from the one occasion when she’d mentioned her garden. It was just more evidence of what a wonder he was…a man who actually listened to the details of a conversation. “I think maybe I did like the battle,” she admitted.

  He gave her a sheepish look. “I had this crazy idea that if honeysuckle started taking over out back, you wouldn’t be able to stand it, that you’d run out there and yank it out yourself.”

  Mandy was staring at both of them as if they’d gone a little crazy. “So, do I leave it in, or pull it out? There’s more. It’s way in back along the fence.”

  Raylene met Carter’s gaze. He looked so hopeful, as if he’d given her more than an uncontrollable vine, as if he’d provided the lure to get her out of the house once and for all. It was a lot to expect from honeysuckle.

  Then, again, perhaps there was a lesson to be learned from the plant’s tenacity.

  “Leave it,” she said softly.

  Maybe one of these days, it could do what nothing else had. If so, she’d never again regard it as a nuisance. Instead, it would become her summer miracle.

  Carter watched Carrie’s expression as Dr. McDaniels introduced her to the nutritionist. The woman was young and a little offbeat in a way that should have appealed to his sister, but as understanding dawned about the reason for the woman’s presence, Carrie grew increasingly sullen. She turned to him.

  “You knew about this, didn’t you?” she accused. “You knew they were going to blindside me like this.”

  He nodded.

  “Why didn’t you warn me?” she demanded, a deep sense of betrayal in her voice.

  “We both know that would have been a bad idea,” he responded quietly. “You would have refused to come.”

  “Yes, I would have,” she said, her voice rising in anger. “Because I don’t need some stranger monitoring every bite of food I put into my mouth.”

  Carter held her gaze. “Yes, you do.”

  Dr. McDaniels had allowed the exchange to run its course before stepping in. “Carrie, I know that deep down you know you need someone to help you develop a healthier eating pattern. You’ve turned food into an enemy. If that behavior keeps up, it will make you very ill.”

  “And I’ll die,” Carrie said flatly. “Yeah, I’ve heard it before.”

  The nutritionist sat down beside her. “And what? You don’t believe that’s a possibility?”

  “Maybe I want to die!” Carrie retorted, shocking Carter so badly he felt himself turning numb.

  The two professionals, however, took her angry words in stride.

  “Because then you’d be with your mom and dad, right?” Dr. McDaniels asked gently.

  Tears flowed down Carrie’s cheeks as she nodded.

  Carter had never felt so helpless in his life. He looked to the psychologist to see if it would be okay for him to speak. At her nod, he hunkered down in front of his sister. Because she was almost sixteen and mostly behaved in a mature way, he sometimes forgot that she was still a young girl who’d lost her mom and dad and was still struggling to find her way.

  “Carrie, do you know how awful it would be for me and Mandy if we lost you?” he said, holding tight to her ice-cold hands and willing her to absorb his warmth and to feel the love he felt for her.

  “You don’t want me or Mandy,” she said. “We messed up your life.”

  “You changed my life,” he amended. “You didn’t mess it up. It’s so much better because the two of you are with me. I don’t think I’d realized just how much I missed being with family until you and Mandy came to live with me. Nothing matters more to me than your happiness and Mandy’s. It kills me to think you’re so unhappy that you’d rather die than be with us.”

  “But we’re a lot of trouble,” she argued. “Especially me.”

  “Which is why we’re here. Do you think if I didn’t care about you, I’d be insisting on this therapy? You have such an amazing, bright future ahead of you. I want you to get better and experience every minute of it. I want to be there when you graduate from college, and I want to dance at your wedding, and then come to the inaugural ball when you get to be president!”

  She stared at him incredulously, then to his delight, she giggled. The sound was something he’d almost forgotten.

  “I think you can cross that last one off your list,” she said, then whi
spered, “But I do want you to dance with me at my wedding.”

  “Then you need to believe that Dr. McDaniels and the nutritionist are going to help make sure that happens,” he told her. “Will you please, please listen to them, instead of fighting them every step of the way?”

  She blinked back a fresh batch of tears. “You won’t give up on me?”

  “Never,” he said fiercely. “You, me and Mandy, we’re a team. I know it was always just the two of you, but I’m here now, and I am always on your side. If one of us is in trouble, the other two will be there. That’s the way it works. I promise.”

  She threw herself off the chair and into his arms. “I love you, Carter.”

  She felt so fragile and thin in his arms, he was almost scared to hug her too tightly, but he did. She needed to feel the strength of his love, to believe in it. Right now, it was all he had to give her.

  Because Carrie’s recovery was at such a critical stage, Carter knew he needed to monitor every meal. He couldn’t rely on Mandy to do it. He didn’t want her in the position of becoming a tattletale against her sister. Even though Carrie now seemed to grasp that the program was meant to help her, she still had more than a few moments when she rebelled angrily against being watched so closely.

  After taking a couple of days off so he could keep a closer eye on his sister, he finally managed to make a quick stop at Raylene’s to fill her in on what was going on. “If I don’t get by here as much, it’s not because I don’t want to,” he assured her.

  “It’s just that right now Carrie needs you,” she said, her voice filled with understanding, though her expression had turned bleak as he talked. “If there’s anything I can do, let me know.”

  “I think we need to handle this as a family,” he said, and watched as a light died in Raylene’s eyes.

  “Of course,” she murmured.

  He knew at once that he should have chosen his words more carefully, but he didn’t have time now to explain. Even as they sat there, he could feel her pulling away from him without moving an inch. Frustrated and torn, he struggled with the decision that had brought him over here.

  “Let me explain. Carrie’s in a real crisis, Raylene. It’s even worse than I thought.” When Carrie had even hinted that she wanted to die, it had terrified him. He felt he had to be there every minute until he knew with a hundred percent certainty that she was on a path to a full recovery and not sinking into a despair that could take her away from him forever.

  “Carter, believe me, I get that,” she said.

  “I’ll call you so much, you’ll probably get sick of hearing from me,” he promised, knowing it was small consolation for the visits that they’d both come to count on.

  She regarded him doubtfully.

  Aware that he was running out right when he needed to stay and reassure her that this was only temporary, he glanced at his watch and knew he had no choice. He was on duty in a half hour.

  “Look, I have to run, but I’ll speak to you later.” He kissed her thoroughly, well aware that there was a hint of sadness and desperation in the way she kissed him back. He looked into her eyes. “This isn’t forever.”

  “I know,” she said, but she didn’t look as if she believed it. “It’s probably for the best.”

  He stopped in midstride and turned to face her. “What does that mean?”

  “Carrie has a hard road ahead of her. Naturally she deserves your attention. You don’t need the kind of complication that I’d bring into your life. Maybe we should just admit that and move on.”

  He stared at her incredulously. “You want to break up?”

  “Oh, Carter,” she said sorrowfully. “We’ve never really been together.”

  “Hold on a minute! Why are you saying this now? What’s happened?” He raked his hand through his hair in frustration. “Dammit, I know I’ve said this all wrong.” He glanced at his watch again and muttered another curse. “I can’t argue with you about this now, but I will be back. You and me, we are not over!”

  But as he looked back, he saw that his words had had absolutely no impact. She looked resigned to the idea that their relationship had come to an end. If he’d had even one more minute to spare, he would have gone back and tried to reason with her, but there was no time.

  And, if he were being truthful, there was also very little hope that he would succeed.

  “You broke up with Carter,” Sarah echoed, a stunned note in her voice.

  Raylene nodded. “It was for the best. He can’t deal with me and my issues right now. He has to focus on his sister.”

  “Ever heard of multitasking?” Sarah demanded. “In today’s world, most of us can do it. I bet Carter is an excellent multitasker. Look how well he’s handling being a deputy and working with Tom to get the Serenity police force to become a reality.”

  “This is different,” Raylene said stubbornly. “Besides, those are just two more critical things besides Carrie that he has on his plate. He doesn’t need one more. And I need to focus on my own recovery. After that…” She shrugged.

  “After that what?”

  “Maybe we can try again,” Raylene said.

  “I don’t get it. You’re getting better. You’re out in the yard almost every day now. You and Mandy are getting close. Think what this will do to her.”

  “She’ll still be welcome here anytime.”

  “And do you honestly think she’ll want to come if she finds out you’ve dumped her brother? You’ve become a real support system for her, and now you’re letting her down.”

  Raylene hadn’t looked at it that way. In fact, she hadn’t really thought about anything other than the overwhelmed expression on Carter’s face when he’d stopped by. She’d thought letting him off the hook was an unselfish gesture. And he was the one who’d turned down her offer of help, who’d said they needed to handle it as a family. He’d shut her out.

  “You really think I’ve made a mistake, don’t you?” she asked Sarah.

  “Oh, yeah. You have this perfectly wonderful, caring man in your life and you blow him off and somehow twist that around so you’re doing him a favor? I don’t think so. And if you don’t believe me, let’s get the Sweet Magnolias over here and see what they have to say.”

  “I thought I was letting him go so he could do what he needed to do to support Carrie. I thought it was a generous gesture.”

  “A generous gesture would be supporting him, standing by him, listening to him when he needs to vent,” Sarah retorted. “Who’s he supposed to count on now?”

  Raylene winced. “When you put it that way, I feel like an idiot.”

  “Then apologize the first chance you get,” Sarah advised. “In the meantime, I’m calling Annie and the others. I want reinforcements in case you get cold feet and start thinking about not making that call.”

  An hour later the house was filled with Sweet Magnolias, strong opinions and even stronger margaritas.

  To Raylene’s dismay all of them agreed with Sarah that she’d made an impulsive decision she was going to regret.

  “If I were you, I’d call him first thing in the morning and tell him you’re sorry, that you didn’t mean it,” Annie said.

  As Annie spoke, she cradled baby Meg in her arms. Even though Meg was nearly six months old, Annie had refused to leave her at home with Trevor and the sitter. Jeanette had brought along her baby boy as well. All these babies were reminding Raylene of yet another thing she’d lost. Now, according to every one of these women, she was on the verge of losing Carter as well.

  Listening to them, she’d grown defensive all over again. She turned to Annie. “You walked away from Ty when you found out about Dee-Dee and the baby,” Raylene reminded her.

  Annie regarded her incredulously. “Surely you’re not comparing the two situations. Ty betrayed me. I didn’t leave so he could focus on his new little family. I left because I was spitting mad that he’d been cheating on me. All Carter wanted was a little time to help his sister. For that, you
dumped him.”

  Raylene sighed. “He’s the one who shut me out. I offered to help.”

  “He chose his words poorly,” Annie scoffed. “He didn’t mean he didn’t want your help.”

  Raylene looked around at the others. “You all really think I blew it?”

  “I certainly do,” Sarah said emphatically.

  “Me, too,” Annie said.

  Raylene turned to Maddie, Helen, Dana Sue and Jeanette. All were older and, perhaps, a bit wiser. “Any help from the rest of you?”

  “Sorry, sweetie, but no,” Dana Sue said. “It’s not that I think you were being selfish. I don’t think that was your intention at all. I think you were a little overly sensitive when he made that comment and that you really thought you were giving Carter an out he needed.”

  “But it was kind of presumptuous,” Jeanette chimed in. “He didn’t ask for an out. He’s a grown man. If he’d wanted to call it quits, he’d have done that, instead of just asking for a little leeway during a difficult time.”

  “Exactly,” Maddie said.

  Only Helen, so far, had remained silent. Raylene focused on her. “Any thoughts?”

  “I think maybe we’ve all been concentrating so hard on how Carter will take this and how unfair it is to him, we’ve missed the point,” Helen said.

  Maddie groaned. “Here it comes. We’re going to get the totally rational, analytical interpretation now.”

  Helen scowled at Maddie over the rim of her margarita glass. “Go suck an egg,” she said cheerfully. “As I was saying, maybe we’ve all been missing the fact that Raylene did this because it’s what’s best for her.”

  She turned her intense gaze on Raylene. “Is it? Is there some reason, besides what we’ve been discussing, that you want to end the relationship? Did this just happen to give you the perfect excuse?”

  Raylene sat back, stunned by the question. Could Helen be right? Had the whole idea of a relationship with Carter gotten to be too much? Had she started feeling the pressure of trying to get back to a normal life for his sake? Maybe so.