Lucas wasn’t a fan of this plan, not in the slightest. However, that might have something to do with the hard-core crush he has on Farrah. Since the day they met – the day after me, seeing as he was away at football camp – Lucas has had it bad for my woman. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve threatened to kneecap him or break his throwing arm if he touches her, but every time I was answered with a cocky smirk or a ‘go fuck yourself.’ Thankfully, Lucas never took what he feels for Farrah any further than an arm slung around her shoulders, a friendly hug, and some occasional flirting or I would have followed through on my threats of violence in a heartbeat.
Truthfully, I’m not sure Farrah is even aware of how Lucas feels about her, and if she is, she hasn’t said anything about it. One night when Lucas and I were getting hammered off a bottle of twenty-five-year-old scotch our dad had been saving for a special occasion, I came right out and asked my twin why he hadn’t told Farrah he loves her. Yeah, I knew alright. I saw the same look on Lucas’ face when he looked at Farrah that I saw staring back at me in the mirror every morning. Lucas loved Farrah; that much was crystal clear.
“Don’t ask me shit like that when you know you’re not gonna like the answer,” Lucas slurs, hitting me in the shoulder with the half empty bottle.
“No, I want to know,” I insist. “If you love her so much, why not take the risk and tell her? You saying she isn’t worth it?”
“Fuck you,” he spits angrily. “She’s worth every damn ounce of my pride and dignity, and you know it.”
“Then fucking why not say something you stupid asshole?” I roar, finally losing my patience with him.
“Because she’s yours, you prick. Farrah always has and always will be yours. As much as I wish it were different, that I was the one she looked at the way she looks at you, that’s not the case, brother. Farrah loves you, not me. I might be a lot of things, but I’m not a glutton for punishment, Jake. Unless it’s on the football field, that is,” he says with a hint of a smile. “It hurts enough to know that she won’t ever feel the same way about me as I do her, but another entirely to hear her confirm it. Hearing Farrah tell me she doesn’t see me like that would break my fucking heart, Jake.”
Until that moment, I hadn't considered how alike we were. Sure, we look identical, but our personalities couldn’t have been more polar opposite if we came from different families. However, right then, at that second, I saw the truth of Lucas’ words reflected in his eyes. It was hurting him deeply to watch Farrah love me from a distance, but it was killing him to see me fall more in love with her every day. We might not have been together – in public or in private – but Lucas knew down to the depths of his soul that it was only a matter of time before we were.
The only thing that comes to mind is,
“I’m sorry. Truly fucking sorry, brother.”
“Yeah, I know you are,” he nods, taking another long swallow of scotch. “Promise me something, though, Jake.”
“Anything.”
“Don’t hurt her. Everything about Farrah screams sweet and innocent, so don’t break her, okay?” He ends with a sigh.
The words slip from my mouth before I can weigh them when I say,
“I promise,” but little did I know a few years later, I would do more than break that promise, I would break Farrah too.
*****
Without giving it any thought, my hands begin roaming up Farrah’s rib cage, coming to a stop directly under her ripe, full tits. How I’ve managed to stop myself from thrusting into her tight, wet cunt already is beyond me, and as far as I’m concerned, I deserve a medal for my self-restraint. Farrah lying underneath me as her pulse pounds at the base of her neck and her pupils dilate with unsated desire is hard to resist, but now that I’ve decided to tell her everything, not even her gorgeous body is enough to stop me.
“I fucking missed you, Farrah,” I start by admitting. “Watching as you sat at the bar with Sophie, seeing how beautiful you looked all dressed up, and how many men were imagining putting their hands on you made me crazy. I didn’t think, I just acted. Everything in me said I should show those fuckers that you were off the market, that you had a man and he didn’t appreciate them staring at you like you were a piece of meat. When you got up off your stool to go to the bathroom, I followed you. I knew it was the only chance I would have to get you alone that night, so I took it.”
“It was selfish and ultimately wrong – the way I went about it, that is – but I needed you so badly I couldn’t see straight. I was desperate to see you and hear your voice, but when I got you alone, I realized that would never be enough for me. I had to have you, Farrah. All of you. And regardless of that making me sound like the world's biggest asshole for taking advantage of you, it’s the truth.” Shame fills me at how rough I was with her, or that I didn’t ask her if she was okay once while I pounded into her pussy.
“Hey,” Farrah murmurs. “Will you look at me please?”
Glancing up, I see the ghost of a smile playing on her lips. My heart skips a beat when Farrah brushes her mouth over mine, and because I simply can’t help myself where she’s concerned, I push my tongue inside, desperate for just a small taste.
All too soon, Farrah pulls back, disconnecting our mouths and regards me through hooded eyes.
“I’m sorry that I ever said what we did was a mistake. And I need you to hear me when I tell you nothing that happened that night was wrong. Maybe we shouldn’t have waited until you had officially broken off your engagement to, Leslie, but I don’t regret it. How could I when we got something as precious as bean from it?” She asks, caressing her lower belly where our baby is resting safe and sound.
Farrah makes a good point, but she hasn’t heard the worst part of my confession yet, so let’s see if she’s saying the same afterward.
Kissing her temple tenderly, I roll us over so that we are on our sides, facing each other.
“Appreciate the sentiment, baby, but there’s more to it. Do you remember meeting my boss when I worked with SWAT?”
“Yes. Adam, right?”
“That’s him,” I confirm. “And do you remember the time you broke your ankle snowboarding because your idiot brother didn’t wait to see if your boots were clipped in properly?”
A small giggle escapes her at the memory, but I don’t find it funny at all. Not in the slightest. I all but had a fucking heart attack the day Simon called to tell me that Farrah was in the hospital. In hindsight, I probably should have waited to find out why before hanging up on him, but what’s done is done.
“Yeah, well, I kind of owed him a favor since he didn’t give me a formal warning for taking off to see you then,” I divulge with a wry grin. Not my finest moment. But hey, when my woman – whether she knew it or not – is hurting there is no other place I’d be than right by her bedside.
“Oh God. You left without telling him didn’t you?” Farrah gasps.
“Of course, I did. You were in Vail, and I was in L.A. Updates from Simon over the phone, weren’t going to cut it, babe. I needed to see for myself that you were alright.”
“It wasn’t Simon’s fault, you know. I shouldn’t have been up on the mountain that day, and I certainly shouldn’t have agreed to board that slope with him,” she states resolutely.
“No, babe, you shouldn’t. But that isn’t on you; it’s on your brother. It was his job to protect you, to make sure you were safe, and he didn’t do that. If anything, he put you in harm's way by taking you up there before were ready,” I correct her.
It clear that Farrah understands what I’m saying, she just doesn’t agree with me. However, I don’t want to waste time going over what Simon should or shouldn’t have done when I have her naked beside me. Especially since when I’m finished apologizing for being an asshole, we’ve got far better things to be doing than discussing her brother. Such as Farrah wrapped her pouty pink lips around my cock while I eat her pussy.
“None of that’s the point, though, babe. The only reason I brought, Adam up
at all is because he asked me to do him a favor. The department had been after this low-level drug dealer for a while, but somehow he was always able to tell when he had a tail or eyes on him. According to Adam, this guy had connections, which is why they were after him the first place. He knew people all the way up the food chain, where they met, how much money was changing hands, and when the next shipments were due to come in. Better yet, he knew the man responsible for importing the more methamphetamine on one cargo ship, than is made the U.S. in a year,” I share, watching Farrah’s changing expression carefully.
“And Adam asked you to be in on the bust, didn’t he?” Farrah assumes incorrectly.
“No, sweetheart, he didn’t,” I say with a shake of my head. “LAPD had fuck all leads. Obviously, no one was going to come forward and offer up information on the leader of a drug syndicate, and every eyewitness that agreed to turn state's evidence against him, conveniently disappeared. Adam needed an in, Farrah, and I was his last resort.”
“But you weren’t even working for the LAPD then. How could Adam involve you in an active case like that? Isn’t that breaking confidentiality or the chain of command?”
It surprises me how much Farrah knows about my previous job, but then again, I know everything about her so why should the reverse be true?
“Not exactly. Adam got approval from the higher ups to bring me in undercover, but only for that one case. I had full access to all their records, resources and everything the department had on him, which honestly, wasn’t much. Like I said, he was low level, and he kept his shit tight. He only had one weakness, and that was his cousin, Leslie.”
Awareness visibly hardens Farrah’s gaze, but I don’t let that slow me down. If I don’t finish this now, I never will.
“Leslie and her cousin were close; they grew up like brother and sister with junkies for moms. They got what they needed by either stealing it or selling information the learned on the streets while they were out begging for spare change just to buy something to eat.”
As terrible as their upbringing was, I don’t feel sorry for Leslie and her cousin. We all have choices to make, and they chose wrong. Regardless of their circumstances, there’s no excuse for what they did; pickpocketing, breaking and entering, car jacking’s, you name it, they probably did it. Leslie might not have been the instigator but she sure as shit was along for the ride. More often than not, Leslie played the role of lookout, or worse, distracting whoever owned the car, house, or store long enough for her cousin to get in and out undetected.
“All the detectives working the case were either married or were in relationships, so it made sense to bring in an outside man, a single one, that didn’t live locally. I’d moved out of the valley the year before, so there was no way this guy knew my face. We didn’t hang in the same neighborhoods, didn’t frequent the same bars, and because of the sensitivity of my job with SWAT my face wasn’t plastered all over the media as some of the other detectives are. All in all, Adam convinced me their plan would work, and I wasn’t exactly in the position to say no. I was on a break from touring, and Darkness Rising wasn’t due to hit the road again for months. I hadn’t bought a place yet, so no plants to water. And needless to say, I didn’t have a wife or girlfriend waiting at home for me, seeing as the only woman I wanted didn’t even know I’ve been in love with her for going on ten years.”
Farrah gasps at my admission, and the tears she had been stoically holding at bay break free with a vengeance.
“Jake,” she squeaks, her voice cracking on the E.
Shaking my head, I tell her,
“Think about it, baby. Really think about it. All those times I showed up with popcorn and beer that we sat around talking into the early hours of the morning. Me getting leave so I could make it to your graduation. The messages I sent you in the middle of the night because I just knew you wouldn’t be asleep and needed someone to talk to. Jesus, all you have to do is look at me to know how much I fucking love you, Farrah. Because I do. With every piece of my heart and soul I love you, Farrah Elizabeth Wilcott; you fucking own me.”
Farrah takes a stuttering breath before breathing out,
“I told myself I wouldn’t do this, that I wouldn’t forgive you so easily this time, but you make it so hard when you say things like that, Jake.”
“Good, because maybe then you’ll know just how hard it’s been for me to stay away from you all these years.”
“But why? Why would you do that?” She asks dejectedly. The hurt in her tone is evident, but hopefully, I can make her understand. Or, at least, I hope I can.
“Because at first, I thought you were too good for me. You embody everything sweet and kind, and I was afraid I’d ruin you. My job was dangerous, and in a way it still is; I didn’t want that shit touching you, Farrah. I never want you to see how dark the world can be when you’ve seen the things I have,” I state more forcefully than necessary.
“But don’t you see, Jake? I have experienced darkness, maybe not in the same way you have, but I have seen it. When you left to work for the LAPD and stopped coming home except for major holidays, everything was darker. You were what made my world bright, Jake. Only you.”
“God, baby. I’m sorry,” I apologize again, pulling her firmly into my chest.
Stroking back the hair from her face, I mutter,
“I feel like all I do when it comes to you is apologize. I mean, I’ve fucked up a lot over the years, but with you, it seems to be every second of every day.”
“That’s just not true…”
“Yeah, baby, it is. But that’s in the past. From now on, I’m going to do everything I can to make you happy. No more secrets. No more half-truths or hiding things. Nothing between us but this little bean,” I promise, brushing my hand over her belly.
CHAPTER NINE
~ Farrah ~
After Jake had told me he loved me over and over again, and promised he wouldn’t keep any more secrets from me; he shared the few details he could about his and Leslie’s relationship. To say I was stunned by what Jake was willing to do for his old boss and the Los Angeles Police Department is the understatement of the century.
He told me about his fake relationship that ended in his equally fake engagement to Leslie. He shared his fears about not being able to call off the wedding due to the pressure the LAPD had been putting on him to gather more information. And he openly confided in me about the fallout after he called Leslie to tell her it was over between them.
Apparently, Leslie hadn’t taken the news well at all, not that I can blame her. Jake is a catch and losing him had to have hurt. I should know; I’ve lost him before, and the emotional pain was crippling.
However, what pushed Leslie over the border to crazy town wasn’t wholly due to finding out her fiancée was an undercover ex-police officer, it was a combination of things. Her cousins arrest for possession with the intent to distribute, and since it was his third strike, that earned him a fifteen-year prison sentence with the chance for parole after ten. The end of her and Jake also signaled the end of her free ride, leaving Leslie to fend for herself – something she has never been particularly good at. And while losing her job only added insult to injury it was what ultimately drove Leslie to make some colossally stupid decisions that I have no doubt she will be paying for long into the future.
Now, with my back on the mattress and the brush of soft cotton sheets against my overheated skin, Jake stares at me with an intensity I haven’t been privy to before. His eyes linger on my breasts, raking slowly over every inch of exposed skin until they reach the apex of my thighs. I won’t lie; I’m aching to feel him inside me. Truth be told, I’m bordering on desperate to feel his huge cock filling me up.
It’s been too long since I’ve touched myself, let alone been touched by someone else. Ever since Jake fucked me, my fingers aren’t enough to bring me to orgasm anymore. Apparently, my pussy has discerning taste because only Jake will do. Or, at least, that’s how it feels seeing as nothin
g I’ve tried, including the eight-inch vibrator I bought online has worked.
Trailing my eyes over Jake’s naked body, I’m riveted to his giant, throbbing cock, which fully erect reaches his naval. The pre-come leaking from the tip makes my mouth water and my pussy clench in anticipation. This man is hard for me. It’s me he’s turned on by, flaws and all.
Soon enough, Jake is again on his knees between my legs, spreading them wide so that he can shoulder his way between them. One of his hands strokes and kneads my breasts as the fingers of the other run tease my slit. I’m wet; drenched in fact, and that knowledge only turns Jake on even more.
Jake’s nostrils flare, and he inhales sharply as he encounters the wetness dripping down the inside of my thighs.
“Do you have any idea how much I want you, right now? What I wouldn’t give to ram my cock inside you until you are begging me to stop?”
Yes, please, I think to myself. There is nothing I would like more than to feel him pounding into me, forcing me to take every inch of him as he fucks me into abandon. Raising myself up onto my elbows, I run my hands through his short brown hair and tug gently.
Claimed: A Forever After Novella Page 7
