She made a step forward, only to have Bethany cast her a warning glance.
“Ellie! Thank God! I’m so glad you’re all right!” Kate pulled her into a brief embrace.
“Ouch.”
“Sorry. I sent backup right when I saw your message, because, get this, they found Judy too, and she’s alive! This is a good day, even though you’re going to hear from the sergeant for coming here by yourself.”
“I did call for backup,” Ellie said, irritated. “I called you.”
Jordan would be happy to hear about Lawrence, though at the moment, she didn’t seem much aware of her surroundings.
All that mattered was that they had made it through. Everything else would come together, as long as they both still believed they had a chance.
* * * *
“I’m fine!”
“No, you’re not. We are not fine.” As usual, Bethany saw right through her, which Jordan found even more unnerving at the moment. She was as far from fine as a person possibly could be, about to jump out of her skin, and Bethany holding her hands tightly didn’t help. She wanted to escape, and she might have if she hadn’t been so damn tired. Bethany knew that about her too.
She had refused medication to help her sleep, for the fear of waking up half naked and in chains. Her chest tightened painfully. How long ago? She hadn’t managed to establish a timeline yet. All she knew was she had been well on the verge of going crazy, might have toppled over it if it wasn’t for the thought of Ellie. Ironic that it was Ellie who had saved her, but Bethany was here with her instead. She was right. They were not fine. The tears came against her will, anger, only making her cry harder.
“I bet you have a suggestion.”
Bethany picked up the box of tissues from the nightstand and held it out to her.
“Actually, I do, but there’s time. First of all, we have to fix you up a bit. We can talk about it at home.”
That reminded her of something. “Beth…I bought a house.” Jordan froze, only now remembering the camera, her words. Was that real or just another drug-induced nightmare?
“Well, I’m sure we can do something about that. You don’t have to worry about anything now. I’ll take care of everything, okay?”
“It’s my house. I can afford it, and I want to keep it.”
“It was also sold to you by a monster, remember?” Bethany laughed a little. “It can’t be that bad living with me. You were not thinking clearly.”
“I want that house.”
“Okay then. I’m not going to fight with you today of all days. I’m so relieved we found you.”
“Ellie did.” Jordan wasn’t sure why she had to insist at this particular moment. Bethany frowned. “Sure, and she almost got herself killed in the process. Didn’t anyone teach the girl procedure? Calling a friend who’s off duty and clubbing with the boyfriend, doesn’t quite count, even if they’re cops. Those rookies.” She shook her head, amused. “Next year, she wants to be a detective.”
I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for her, Jordan thought, but she sensed there was no point in sharing this assessment with Bethany.
“I want to sleep.” Her voice was dangerously shaky again. “Can we talk tomorrow?” Surely she deserved a small timeout before facing more hard questions.
“Of course,” Bethany said, brushing her hand over Jordan’s hair. “You should rest now. I’ll stay here.”
“No…You can go home. Tomorrow’s going to be a long day.”
“Yes, but…”
“Beth, please. I’d like to be by myself for a bit.” In fact, it was rapidly becoming urgent. It wasn’t Bethany’s fault she kept reminding Jordan of everything that had gone wrong, between them, and what had put her on Darby’s radar as a suitable subject. She’d have to face reality soon enough. For tonight, she wanted to pretend there was another way, another life.
“Okay. Sure.” Bethany stood, unsure. “Can you reach the button? Are you in pain?”
“I’m fine,” Jordan said once more, going with the trusted familiar pattern. They both knew which of them the liar was.
* * * *
Ellie had been stalling. Even though there was nowhere she’d rather be at the moment than with Jordan, she had joined her colleagues at the department, given her statement, listened to the sergeant’s lecture she knew she deserved.
“Harding, I don’t even know where to start.”
Ellie realized she had to be close to being delirious, because she had the urge to laugh at his words. “Neither do I, sir.”
She had to be careful. Neither a giggling nor a crying fit would make her look good now.
“You understand there have to be consequences. We teach you the rules for a reason.”
“I know. I’m sorry. It’s just that—” Blaming Bethany’s attitude towards her wouldn’t help, so Ellie held back the words that had been on the tip of her tongue. “Never mind. I know I should have requested backup officially.”
“Yes, you should have.”
“I was afraid of looking silly,” Ellie confessed. “Detective Henderson and Dr. Roberts were busy.”
“Let’s hope we’re not all looking silly once Darby goes to trial, because his lawyer will want to exploit every possible weakness in the case.”
“He hurt her! You didn’t see—” Again, she stopped herself, aware they had caught the attention of some officers outside Bristol’s office. “No defense attorney can argue that away. We can tie him to the murders, and the abduction of Judy Lawrence and Lori Gleason too.”
“Which is a good thing,” he agreed. “We’re all grateful this ended finally. You know I can’t overlook you neglecting procedure, but...Detective Carpenter owes you her life. You were brave down there.”
“Thanks,” Ellie murmured.
“By the way, this time when I tell you to take a few days off, you’ll do it. Frankly you look horrible.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“Now go home. Sleep. Believe me, you need it.”
It was hard to argue with that, but she’d stop by the hospital anyway. Leaving the office, she nearly ran into Kate who stepped inside, her expression serious.
“Sergeant? I thought you should see this right away.”
Chapter Eighteen
Ellie would have done anything to watch as Dr. Bethany Roberts had to explain herself for the messages exchanged with Jonathan Darby, the man who’d planned to murder her girlfriend as punishment for cheating on her.
As it was, nobody had the time or incentive to stop Ellie and so she stood, her jaw dropping with each secret uncovered.
“Yes, I was trying to bait him,” Bethany said. “I didn’t know who he was, I didn’t manage to trace him, but I figured he would reveal himself at some point, want to meet me. I wish he’d have done that before going after Jordan, but I had to try. There were many lives at stake.”
Ellie’s suspicions had been right—partly at least. There had been some communication between Darby and Bethany, even though she hadn’t known that the realtor was the killer she’d been chatting with.
“I never heard his voice before, that’s why I couldn’t tell.” There was something haunted in her expression. “You know as well as I do this case wasn’t moving along fast enough, and we had to do something. I kept in touch with my supervisor through all of it.”
“Well, it’s good to know you kept someone in the loop at least.” Bristol’s tone was dripping with sarcasm. “The next time you put the life of one of my detectives on the line, tell me first. Well, if there’s a next time, because I’ll let your supervisor know I’m not happy with your conduct.”
“The case is closed, isn’t it?” Bethany said icily. “We drew him out. I know his type. I’ve helped put away a few of them. You can ask Detective Carpenter about the cases we worked together.”
“I don’t believe this,” Bristol said angrily.
“Well, why am I in here and not your rookie, while we’re talking transgressions and creative investigat
ion methods?”
Ellie turned away, knowing if she listened a minute longer, a meltdown would be inevitable. She preferred to have it at home. Now that Jonathan Darby was in custody, she’d be safe there after all.
* * * *
Jordan had been sleeping when she arrived at the hospital. Ellie didn’t want to disturb her, so she finally went home, took a long hot shower and collapsed on her bed. She didn’t even have time to think or cry, sleep overtaking her almost immediately. She slept through the alarm a few hours later, and the sounds of the city beginning another busy morning. It was close to 11:00 a.m. when consciousness returned, with a wave of dizziness and nausea, as recollection set in. Ellie waited it out before she shuffled into the bathroom. She decided to get a coffee on the way.
If she was lucky, she could talk to Jordan without Bethany’s interference. If not now, soon.
Ellie stopped at a coffee shop, sitting in the parking lot with her latte for a few minutes, watching people go in and out. With all the buzz and chatter going on, it seemed unreal to think of the horrors that had taken place in the home of Jonathan Darby, deranged fan of medieval torture methods. The video. The chains. This was the fate she’d escaped, more than once.
Jordan had been lucky, but not that lucky. Ellie was determined to put her own pain aside for the moment. They might not have started out with the best circumstances, but whatever it was between them, it was real. It would help them both survive.
* * * *
Much to their credit, neither Derek nor the sergeant treated her like she was about to break, in the hospital, and later, when she was back at the apartment, on sick leave. Jordan was incredibly grateful. The sympathy, the unspoken questions of the people around her felt stifling enough, especially when she couldn’t move into her own space yet. She might never have all the answers, because part of the time she’d spent in the hidden basement was lost in a haze of drugs. She was slowly gaining back control over her body though the urge to throw up at random memories was still strong. It would vanish at some point like the constant ache, all over, from the unnatural strain caused by the chains holding her up.
She shuddered, and predictably, Bethany was by her side with a concerned expression, ready to offer a glass of water, a blanket, or just about anything Jordan would ask of her.
None of this was Bethany’s fault. She was trying hard, like she always did, and probably still feeling guilty.
Once her own mind was a bit less fuzzy, Jordan would find the moment to tell her she’d probably been on Darby’s list early on. Bethany’s interference had offered him another opportunity to mess with them, trick them into a game of guilt and shame.
Then again, when had it started in the first place?”
“I made an appointment,” Bethany said. “Next Monday.”
They’d agreed on a compromise. Bethany’s contribution was for Jordan to keep the house. She thought it would be a good idea to have an investment property, something they could rent out soon. Jordan had no intention to rent it out.
“Excuse me for a moment.”
“Sure.” Bethany nodded with a pained look. She knew exactly what Jordan was going to do.
She picked up the cordless phone on the way to the bedroom.
Ellie picked up mid-second ring.
“Ellie.”
“Hey. I’m glad you called. I was told to leave you alone, so…I’m sorry.”
There was no doubt as to who had told her that. Jordan was surprised and a bit disappointed Ellie had complied. She took a deep breath. It was good to hear Ellie’s voice, a bit of warmth breaking through the ever-present chill. She might not be entirely fair to Bethany, but it was the way she felt.
“It’s okay. You needed some time for yourself too,” Jordan acknowledged. An expectant pause followed. “We need to talk. In person.” ‘Need’ had a multitude of connotations right now.
“I’d love to, but how are we going to do that?” Ellie sounded uncertain.
“Are you home?”
“What about Bethany?” Ellie asked.
It was on the tip of her tongue to say she’d never cared before, but Jordan was well aware neither Ellie nor Bethany deserved her anger and short temper. Yeah, what about Bethany?
“Should you even drive?”
“I’ll take a cab,” Jordan said. “Wait for me?”
* * * *
Ellie had been waiting nervously. She still had many questions, but the quest for answers lost all meaning when Jordan walked into her home, still looking worse for wear though the visible signs of her ordeal were fading. Ellie knew too well that others would linger.
She wanted to hug her close, but didn’t dare to, for several reasons.
“Come on in,” she said unnecessarily. “Sit.”
“Thanks.”
They shared a brief, hesitant kiss before sitting on opposite ends of the couch. Ellie couldn’t help thinking of the last time they’d been together, before the horror started. Making out in a public restroom. Sleeping in each other’s arms, because Jordan had decided she wanted to be with her. Ellie felt her throat go tight. Not yet. She needed to keep it together for this conversation. Given what Jordan had been through, Ellie’s worries were not priority at the moment.
“So…what are you going to do with the house?”
“I bought it. It’s mine,” Jordan said, and Ellie’s heart missed a beat. There were many ways they could go from here. It didn’t mean they were moving in together anytime soon, but it was a step forward.
“He handled many sales, and strangely enough, his business was all legit, not one missed document. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t keep it.”
“That’s what I thought. Ellie…”
She dared moving a bit closer. “Don’t worry. I know we can’t hit a switch and go back to the way it was before, but I am here for you, no matter how much time you need.”
“Ellie, what I came to tell you…” Jordan was wringing her hands in her lap, avoiding Ellie’s gaze.
Ellie couldn’t stop looking at her bandaged wrists. “Whatever it is, we’ll be okay.”
“I can’t…Bethany got us a therapist who does couples’ counseling. I agreed to meet him.”
“What? I thought…Why?”
“I know, it sounds crazy, but maybe I can actually learn something. I wonder what Darby would have to say about this.”
He’d made her apologize to Bethany. Ellie could only imagine what threats he’d had hanging over Jordan the whole time.
“I don’t understand,” she said. “I mean, besides…” Us. “You said you’d leave her, and if I remember correctly, you had some good reasons.” She wanted to keep her tone calm and supportive. The last thing Jordan needed was jealousy and accusations. However, Ellie needed to understand, and she was sure Jordan would see as well she was about to make a big mistake.
“I changed my mind. I’ve been running from the truth for so long…I guess this is the end of the line. I can’t run anymore.”
She got to her feet. Ellie followed her.
“Jordan, please don’t do this. She doesn’t love you.”
“I know…but I owe her.”
It was Jordan who wrapped her arms around her, tightly enough to make them both wince.
“Why?”
“There was this one time…I wanted to kill myself.”
A blurry veil descended over Ellie’s vision. She closed her eyes, unwilling to let go.
“It was a particular bad time, and for some reason it all came floating to the surface again, reminding me. If she hadn’t been there for me at the time…I don’t know. I owe her to give this one last try.”
Ellie thought of what Bethany had told her about Jordan’s family, realizing that until now, she’d hoped it would be nothing but lies. No matter how much she disliked Bethany, the woman was a respected professional. She wasn’t a liar simply because Ellie resented her.
“She can’t hold that over you forever.”
“She d
oesn’t. I do.” Jordan hesitated for a few heartbeats before she continued, “Thinking of you was the only thing that kept me sane down in that room—but I can’t keep you waiting forever just because it might not work out in the end.”
“I would.” Ellie refrained from pointing out the relationship between Jordan and Bethany was more than likely not to work out, and why not spare everyone the resulting pain of a futile attempt? She couldn’t make that decision for Jordan though. Only Jordan could.
“Don’t.” Jordan kissed her on the lips, very gently. “I want you to know I’m grateful, for everything. I don’t want to drag you into this mess anymore. You’ll do better. I’ll see you around.”
Ellie wanted to hold her back, but she was too dispirited to do so.
* * * *
Bethany had taken some time off as well, attentive and caring every moment of the day though she refused to mention Jordan’s visit to Ellie at all. The sad thing was Jordan didn’t mind seeing the shrink, in fact, she knew she needed one to help her figure out if she could ever escape the traps laid out in her childhood, snapping shut one by one over the years. Bethany had once saved her from the ghosts of her past, even though these days, she was enabling them.
Jordan wanted to get away from her too, but apparently there was no point in trying, so she’d settle for trying to get well enough to go back to work. Maybe when she did, and Bethany returned to headquarters, she wouldn’t feel like suffocating anymore.
“I’m doing better,” she told him. “I think I’ll be able to go back to work in a week, at the latest.”
“You woke up crying again last night,” Bethany said, and Jordan shot her an irritated glance.
“So? It wasn’t fun spending those days half-naked in a killer’s basement, wondering what he’d come up with next. It doesn’t mean I can’t work.”
“I didn’t say that. I just think it’s too early.”
Indiscretions Page 17
