by Catori, Ava
“What? You were supposed to date him, not sleep with him!”
“I know, I know, but wait until you hear about our date.”
“Go on,” Becky was nervous, this wasn’t the plan.
“Well, he took me to this really nice restaurant down on Main. We should go there sometime; I didn’t even know it was there. Anyway, we start talking, and his foot is rubbing against my leg, and a few glasses of wine later, we’re full on making out at the table. We finally pay and leave, but he’s got me pressed to his car, his kisses passionate and sweet, and he’s nibbling on my neck. Beck, you know how that gets me going, so anyway, we finally make it into the car, and can barely leave the parking lot. His hands are hot and heavy, and I’m feeling good, I’ve got a nice buzz going, and then we end up back at my place. Seriously, that boy’s got moves. We were naked and before I knew it, we were panting and exhausted under the covers. It was amazing, and holy shit, it was insane. He wasn’t shy, he certainly didn’t hold back, and wow can he use his tongue.”
“Okay, too much information! Are you going to see him again?”
“Hell yes. I’m not letting this one slip away.”
“Well, at least I made a match,” Becky sighed, “even if I didn’t mean to.”
“He’s actually really sweet and funny. He said he figured he might as well be honest on the application, so he didn’t waste anyone’s time.”
“All rightly then,” hmm, where would she find other guys?
“There’s just one little thing,” she whined.
“What? Does he live in his grandmother’s basement?”
“Oh please, as if I’d go on a second date with him if that were the case, it’s just that he has a weird laugh.”
“A weird laugh?”
“Yeah, it’s more feminine than masculine.”
“What?”
“I know, I know, it’s not a big deal, but I swear he sounded like a girl giggling, instead of a guy.”
Becky laughed, “This is your issue?”
“It’s stupid. I’ll get over it, but otherwise, total package.”
“Well, glad it worked out, but now I’m down another guy.”
“I’ll help you come up with an idea to get more guys. You still have that one guy left, right?”
“What if he hits it off with the first girl?”
“You’ll have made a match!”
“But I’ll have run out of guys!”
“What were you going to do, send him on a cycle, going out with each girl?”
“I don’t know, but how can I be a matchmaker without more guys?”
“You need to get that website ready, that way you’ll have more of a presence.”
“Yeah, I guess. Reed was going to help me, but now I’m going to have to hire someone.”
“Or you could learn to do it yourself.”
“I’m not good with creative stuff,” Becky lamented.
“Maybe you’ve improved, you don’t know if you don’t try.”
“Think professional, I’ll hire someone.”
“I can ask around and see if anyone I know does them.”
“Hey, glad it worked out for you.”
“Thanks,” Sam said.
Becky could almost hear her smiling.
When the text came through the following day, she wasn’t expecting it. Sitting, holding her phone, she wasn’t sure what to do. Should she text back?
“I’ve been thinking about you.” It was such a small sentence, and yet the joy that shot through her on reading it was intense. Becky’s breathing quickened, and her heart started to pitter patter, realizing whose name was attached to the message.
Should she respond? Is this a mistake? She sat looking at it, wondering if he was waiting for her to say something. Should she play coy, be direct, or ignore it, and pretend like she didn’t see the message. Engaging in a response would mean she acknowledged the thought. Playing with responses, she finally went with a simple, “That makes me smile.” Was it too much, not enough?
Her heart felt like it might leap out of her chest, and as she waited, watching for something else, nothing came. It felt like seconds turned into hours, and staring at her phone, she willed it to do something – anything.
Finally another message came through. “Can I see you?”
Becky’s hand shot up to her mouth as she gasped. The smile that spread across her face was immense as she typed back, “Yes”. He’s engaged; due to be married, this is a mistake. Holy shit, I’m a home wrecker. Her breathing got deeper, and sitting staring at her phone, she realized she was shaking. He wants to see me. There was nothing more in the world that Becky Holgate wanted than to see Reed one more time.
“Coffee shop, eight tonight?”
“Okay.” That’s it, she’s doing it. The reality was sinking in. He contacted her. He wanted to see her. This was his idea. She sat in disbelief for a few minutes and just as she was about to share the news with Sam, decided to hold off. Becky loved Sam, but she wasn’t very good with secrets, and the last thing she needed was for her to mention it to Jessica if she ran into her.
Becky spent the entire day thinking about what she’d wear, and made a mental note to scan her body up and down multiple times. No beaver dam in her teeth, make sure her skirt isn’t wedged in her girly bits, in fact wear slacks, and dear goodness make sure there’s not one single embarrassing thing going on with her body.
Becky glared at the clock, aching for time to move faster. This was going to be the world’s longest day. She must have checked the clock hundreds of times over the course of the day, and as it finally got to the point where she could leave work, she rushed back to her house to dig through her closet. She knew exactly what she was going to wear.
Gliding the red lipstick over her lips, she refreshed her make-up. Checking and double checking in the mirror, everything passed her approval. Picking up her perfume, Becky sprayed a bit of the floral scent on, before pulling her boots out of the closet. She’d chosen sexy black boots to go with gray slacks that flattered her round shape. Pulling on a silk white blouse, she grabbed a charcoal gray blazer and slipped it over her blouse. Spinning in front of the full length mirror, she made sure everything was where it should be, and then skipped out to her car.
He really wants to see me, she sighed. Me.
Pulling up to the coffee shop, Becky felt her pulse sprint at the sight of Reed’s truck. He was here, inside, waiting for her. Is this a mistake? Once she goes inside and admits there’s something between them, there’s no way to take that back. What does it mean? He’s still engaged, right? It’s not like it means anything. I’m certainly not interested in some secret affair, and it’s not like he’s ditching his soon to be bride for me….why I am here?
Becky checked herself in her rearview mirror, and got out of the car. Standing in the parking lot, it took everything inside of her to get her feet moving. She was glued to the ground, afraid of seeing him again. She knew it would leave her breathless and wanting more. What was the point of tonight anyway?
Slowly, she put one foot in front of the other and found herself at the entrance. Reaching up, she pulled the door open and took one final deep breath. It’s now or never.
Glancing across the room, she saw him. Her heart quickened. She swore he got better looking every time she was near him. When he looked over and recognized her, his face lit up. Smiling, he stood to walk over and greet her.
There was an awkward moment where they didn’t know whether to shake hands, give a friendly hug, or just say hello. “It’s nice to see you,” he finally said, breaking the silence.
“And you,” she said. Her cheeks hurt from smiling so big.
“Thanks for coming to see me,” he started. Becky followed him to the area he’d chosen. “What can I get you?”
“A cup of tea and a croissant would be great, thanks.” She sat watching him place her order. When he returned, he sat beside her nervously.
Thanking him, she exhaled and
hoped he’d start the conversation. She wasn’t sure what to say. She was thrilled to see him, but what’s the point. When he started talking, she was relieved.
“I can’t stop thinking about you,” he admitted. “You’re adorable, and have the best smile,” he said, “and your eyes, they flicker when you’re laughing, sparkling like gems. I sound goofy,” he laughed quietly, “like a schoolboy with a crush.”
“You’re sweet,” Becky said blushing. “But you’re also engaged to be married,” she added softly.
“I know,” his voice was low. “The thing is, I’m attracted to you, and I’m not sure what to do about that.”
“I wish I could help you. It’s just that I don’t date men who belong to other women.” She hated saying those words out loud. She wanted to tell him she was all his, but knew she couldn’t. If there was one thing she wanted to hold onto, it was her integrity, and Reed belonged to Jessica. He’d pledged his love to her, and asked her to be his wife.
He looked at Becky, watching her face, watching her lips, wanting to taste them, and then leaned back into the sofa. “I’m so confused.”
“There’s nothing to be confused about,” Becky said, placing her hand on top of his. “You’ve got a lovely fiancée, and I’m sure she’d appreciate you respecting her.” She took a deep breath, “Besides, I’m not interested in a relationship.” It was a lie, a big fat lie. If Reed would have her, she’d be with him in an instant, but not like this. Not when he belonged to another.
“You don’t feel this, what’s going on between us?”
Becky caught her breath. “Reed,” she couldn’t get out another word. Looking at the man beside her, she had nothing else to say.
Leaning toward Becky, Reed moved in closer, space closing between them. Becky watched him, now inches away, and as he was right before her, he whispered. “I want to taste you.”
Becky swallowed hard. Their lips were almost touching, barely any space between them. She wanted to remain strong, needed to turn him away, but her resistance was waning.
She could feel his hot breath, and as her breathing slowed, time stood still. Lingering in the moment, she held fast.
He whispered again, “To touch you, to taste you, to kiss you.”
Becky’s heart was beating faster than she could fathom, and finally whispered back, “Kiss me.”
His lips brushed up against hers, barely touching, and in that moment she snapped back to reality. Pulling back, “Reed, I can’t do this.”
He nodded quietly. “I’m sorry; I just needed to see you. You’re constantly on my mind.”
“I’m flattered,” she sighed, “but until you’re single, I can’t do this. You’ve got a wedding to attend.”
Reed looked at Becky. He felt shame wash over him. With a simple apology, he got up and left.
Becky watched him walk away. It was heartbreaking, but there was no other way.
Chapter 11
At precisely eleven o’clock, Becky’s phone buzzed. Rolling over, she picked it up hoping it was Reed saying he’d made up his mind and was choosing her.
“Jonathon’s available,” came across her screen.
“I thought you liked him.” Becky sat up in bed and texted Samantha back.
“Can I call?”
“Yeah.”
Her phone rang seconds later. “It’s his laugh,” Sam said.
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, I can’t get past it. He laughs like a girl.”
“You’re impossible. You meet a guy you like, and then let go because of one tiny thing.”
“If you heard him, you’d understand. He’ll be good for your dating agency though, he’s a good guy. Just not for me,” she threw in at the last minute.
“Okay.” Becky debated. Should she tell her? It could backfire, but if she didn’t tell her, she might burst. “I saw Reed tonight.”
“What?” Sam’s voice went up. “What happened?”
“He almost kissed me again. He said he keeps thinking about me.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah,” Becky said.
“And?”
“I told him he belonged to somebody else.”
“How do you feel?”
“I’m confused. I’m really drawn to the guy. He’s incredible in every way, but there’s that one small detail, he’s freaking engaged!”
“Oh Becks, I’m sorry honey.”
“It’s okay, I’ll survive.”
“Jonathon is available. Hot sex might make you feel better,” she laughed.
“Very funny. Anyway, I need to sleep. I’ll talk to you in the morning.”
“Yeah, I should probably sleep at some point,” she groaned.
Becky tossed and turned. She couldn’t stop thinking about Reed’s words, his mouth so close, and his hot breath on her. Tracing her lips slowly, her fingers followed the soft, pouty line of her lower lip.
Becky’s fingers slid off her lips, traveling along her neck, and quietly crept lower. Drawing them across her chest, she cupped her breast, wishing it was Reed’s hands on her. Her breathing slowed, and with lazy, calculated movements, Becky let her imagination run free. Moving her hand down to her naughty bits, she pleasured herself. With a small gasp, she drifted on the high of the orgasm she gave herself. Sleep followed soon after.
On waking, she curled into her covers, not wanting to leave the comfort of her warm bed. Work was the last thing she wanted to do today. Tossing around excuses and reasons to call out, she sighed and accepted her fate. Climbing out of bed, Becky relented and took her shower.
If only she could stop thinking about Reed. Standing in the shower, drying her hair, making breakfast, it didn’t matter the activity, she still heard his words. “I want to taste you,” and felt his hot breath, his lips barely inches away. Not that it mattered, he belonged to somebody else.
Reed stood under the hot water, letting the shower spray around him, drops of steam and mist filling the air. Adjusting the temperature the slightest bit, he sank into the increased heat. There was nothing Reed liked more in the morning that a hot shower. It used to be that a morning romp with Jessica was his favorite past time, but lately they’d let things slide. Mornings became a routine of coffee, newspapers, and showers – and barely talking. It’s not that things weren’t great, they were, but after so much time together, they’d developed patterns.
When she first moved in with him, they couldn’t get enough of each other. It was like the beginning of their relationship all over again, and the sex was non-stop and hot. There were so many reasons to adore Jessica, she was a great catch, and the sex had always been amazing, but lately something felt off. They didn’t make as much time for each other, and she was always fussing over wedding details.
Holy shit, did he get tired of the details. He didn’t care if the napkins were chardonnay or pink or rose or whatever shade she was obsessing over. He didn’t care if they had baby shrimp on their salad or water chestnuts or what type of lettuce was used. He just didn’t care. When he pictured getting married, he pictured how it would feel, not what the table centerpieces would look like. Yet, that’s all she seemed to care about lately, and she’d bury him with the details constantly.
Should she wear her hair up or down, and how many bridesmaids, and you should do this, and don’t forget to do that. It’s just not what he pictured his wedding to be. When he asked her to marry him, he thought the joy they felt would be captured on their wedding day. A few friends and family, something small, intimate, romantic, and most of all would be a celebration. This felt more like some formal affair where love was left at the door. It’s not what he pictured at all. They’d already fought about the wedding more times than he could count on one hand, but it made Jessica happy being buried in those details. Sometimes he wondered if she wanted him, or simply wanted some grand wedding.
On meeting Becky, he never expected the girl to capture his interest. It was really a passing thing at first, but she kept bouncing through his mind wh
en he least expected it. It wasn’t planned, but there she was again, smiling, laughing, her bright red lips, and her bouncy blonde curls. She was real, and had this adorable awkwardness that made him smile.
Reaching down, he took his hardness in his hands. Her soft curves made him hungry for her. A quick release and he was ready to start his day.
Climbing out of the shower, Reed toweled off and went to get dressed. When Jessica smiled at him seductively and asked him if he wanted to climb back into bed, he made an excuse. He had a meeting to get to, and that’s when he knew. This wasn’t working for him anymore.
It’s not that he didn’t love Jessica; Jess was all that and the whipped cream too. It’s just that after so many years, it felt more like the next step, rather than what he wanted in his life. When he saw forever, he wasn’t sure what he saw. Some days it was Jess, other days it wasn’t. There was a lot of guilt associated with that. He’d asked her to marry him, he committed, but maybe he did it for all the wrong reasons. It seemed like the thing to do, she was getting impatient, but why didn’t he feel like he was certain?
Why was he suddenly attracted to a woman that wasn’t even his type? Why did he feel the need to be around her? Sure, he’d been attracted to girls before, but not like this…this was different. This was more. He couldn’t place it, but he wanted to be around her, almost like when he first met Jessica. The intense urge to spend time with her was something he couldn’t let go of. The idea of ignoring Becky Holgate seemed impossible.
He wasn’t done watching her smile, he wasn’t done laughing with her, and he wasn’t done wanting to kiss her. He wanted to run his fingers through her hair, and smell her sweet, floral fragrance that he picked up hints of when he sat close enough. He couldn’t imagine never seeing her again, and he couldn’t imagine having to say good-bye.
Reed was in a jam. He didn’t want to hurt the woman he loved and was supposed to marry, but he was realizing more than anything, he didn’t want to marry Jessica. It broke his heart knowing his truth. How would he tell her, how would he admit that he wasn’t ready, and maybe never would be? She wasn’t the one. He thought she was, but she wasn’t. At first he thought it was cold feet, but he knew it was more than that. It was a girl he barely knew, and every fiber of his being was yelling at him, desperately trying to get his attention. You need to spend more time with that girl.
