by Chloe Hart
Yes.
It felt so right to have him inside her, even though this wasn’t the invasion she really craved. But her muscles clenched around his finger as he stroked in and out, his thumb working magic on her clitoris with every thrust.
There was a roaring in her ears. Her body coiled tighter and tighter until she thought she might shatter, or die.
“Hawk!”
She cried out his name as she broke apart, her body going boneless as she shuddered against him, the pleasure so intense it seemed to remake her flesh, unraveling and knitting her together again, layering sensation upon sensation until every cell reverberated with it.
“Jess.”
Hawk’s voice was ragged and harsh, like he’d been running. When her eyes fluttered open she found him looking down at her.
He’d pulled his finger from her body but his hand was still on her, his cool palm covering her quivering flesh. There was something so possessive in the way he touched her and looked at her that her breath caught in her throat.
“Hawk, I want…”
“What?” he asked softly, his eyes glittering.
“To make you feel the way you made me feel. I want to touch you.”
He clenched his teeth so hard a muscle at the corner of his jaw jumped, and she knew he was trying to keep his demon in check.
“Anything you want,” he said huskily, pulling his hand from her panties. She glanced around them to be sure no one was near, but the park was deserted and they were concealed in a grove of trees and bushes far from the main path. Reassured, she rolled on her side to face him, letting her eyes rove down his hard, powerful body.
She reached out hesitantly and slid a hand under the hem of his black tee shirt, feeling a thrum of pleasure when she stroked over his hard abdomen and up to the smooth muscles of his chest. She pushed his shirt out of the way impatiently, wanting to feel more of him.
He tugged the shirt over his head and tossed it aside.
When he came back to her she pushed gently on his shoulder until he lay flat on his back, and then she rose up on her knees so she could feel him with both hands.
She ran her palms over his cool skin, loving the way his muscles twitched at her touch. She could tell he was controlling himself with difficulty, and seeing this powerful vampire holding back for her was unbearably arousing.
She couldn’t get enough of his body. His chest…his shoulders…every muscle on his body was strong as steel.
Then she let her hands drift lower, down to the waistband of his jeans.
Once she was looking down there, it was impossible to take her eyes off the bulge she’d felt before. She undid his top button as he’d undone hers, and when she saw he was naked under his jeans she lowered his zipper very carefully, afraid to catch the tines against his skin.
His burgeoning erection spilled out into her hands, and he groaned.
She held him in one hand and touched him with the other. He was thick and heavy and impossibly hard, but the skin was so smooth…she let her fingertips trail over the length of him, feeling a rush of pleasure at the guttural sound he made.
The skin on his shaft was softer than silk and the color of honey. The head was a little darker, the skin there a little rougher, and when she ran the pad of her thumb over it a drop of pearly liquid appeared at the tip.
She realized suddenly that she wanted to taste him. She leaned over slowly, to give him time to stop her if this was something he didn’t want, and she paused for a moment when she felt his thighs and stomach muscles tense. But he didn’t say or do anything else, and so she gripped the base of him in her hand and took his swollen head into her mouth.
The flavor went to her head like absinthe. She swirled her tongue down and around and felt him shudder. He slid a hand into her hair. She took him a little deeper and she heard him growl as his hand fisted involuntarily, and something about that sharp tug sent a thrill of excitement through her.
She wished she knew what she was doing. Her knowledge of male sexuality came mostly from the Cosmo magazines her mother’s ladies-in-waiting read, and from snatches of ribald conversation she’d heard over the years. Should she keep going until he—
“Jess. Sweetheart. You have to stop.”
She pulled back immediately. “Did I do something wrong?”
He reached for her shoulders and pulled her towards him, tugging until she was lying across his chest, her hair spilling over him. “Christ, no. But I don’t want to come like that. Not the first time. Not with you. I want—” He stopped abruptly.
“What?” she asked after a moment. Her heart was pounding, and she knew he could feel it.
His eyes were tinged with yellow, but he was keeping his fangs at bay. “I want to be inside you. I want to fuck you.”
He said it deliberately, as if he wanted to paint his hunger as crudely as possible, to leave no doubt as to what he wanted from her.
A flood of arousal made her dizzy. When she spoke, her voice was shaking. “How do I…what do I…”
His hands gripped her harder. “You’re sure?”
“Yes. Yes. But I don’t know what to—”
“On your back.”
He didn’t give her time to comply on her own. He flipped her over and landed on top of her, supporting his weight on his arms.
“I want to see all of you,” he growled, his eyes on her breasts.
She grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it up over her head, and when she tossed it aside only her cotton bra hid her from Hawk’s view. She was reaching behind her to undo the clasp when Hawk asked, “What’s this?” and reached a hand towards her.
There was a flash of light, and Hawk gave a grunt of pain as he reared back in surprise.
Jessica sat up, bewildered by the flash. She blinked and looked down at herself, and with a cold shock saw the silver bag that Kel had given her, hanging on its silver chain.
It all came back in a rushing torrent. Everything she’d tried to forget.
Oh, God.
What was she doing? What the hell was she doing?
“What is that thing?” Hawk asked. “Are you all right?”
She couldn’t answer him. As she stared down at the portal stone she felt dazed and numb and nauseous.
What was wrong with her? She was acting like an animal—like someone who had no control over her own desires.
She’d been upset because of what Hawk had told her. But that was no excuse for the way she’d behaved. She was a coward—a selfish coward. And she’d been using Hawk to forget. To drive out thought with feeling.
She grabbed the shirt she’d just taken off and pulled it over her head again. Then she zipped her jeans with shaking hands.
She couldn’t meet Hawk’s eyes as he took her shoulders. “Jess. Tell me what’s going on.”
The patient gentleness in his voice almost undid her. She couldn’t blame this on him. He wasn’t using her—she’d used him. She’d used him like a drug, trying to drown herself in the pleasure he gave her.
She’d put desire ahead of duty.
What he’d told her about her mother was horrifying, but instead of dealing with it like an adult she’d run from the knowledge like a child.
Even if what Hawk had told her was true—and every instinct she possessed told her it was—that didn’t mean she could abandon her engagement to Kel. She’d made him a promise, and she owed a duty to her people. Her engagement to the Dark Fae prince had made peace between their realms. Learning that her mother was a traitor to her own people didn’t change that.
“Jess. You have to talk to me. What the hell just happened?”
She still couldn’t bring herself to meet his eyes.
“What you must think of me,” she whispered.
He cupped her chin in his hand, forcing her head up gently but firmly. “What are you talking about?”
It would be so easy to drown in those night-black eyes. “I used you,” she said in a trembling voice.
One corner of
his mouth twisted up. “Yeah? Well, I think I survived the experience.”
Her eyes slid away from his again. “I’m sorry. God, I’m so sorry.”
He gave her a quick, hard shake. “Stop doing that.”
She glanced back at him in confusion. “Stop doing what?”
“Shaming yourself. I can feel it coursing through you. And that’s bullshit, Jess. There’s no shame in following your heart. In listening to your body.”
She could feel her lips quivering. “I don’t believe that. I don’t believe you can set aside duty and principle for…for…”
“For love?”
Her muscles stiffened. “Don’t say that. I might be inexperienced but I’m not naïve. I know that love doesn’t have anything to do with what just happened between us.”
His eyes gleamed in the darkness. “That’s where you’re wrong. Love has everything to do with it. Love is the reason I asked you to meet me tonight. The reason I told you what I did, even though I knew I might be putting my sister in greater jeopardy.”
He slid both hands into her hair as he looked down at her, stroking her bottom lip with the pad of his thumb. “I’m in love with you, Jess. So let me help you. Let me stand by you. We can figure all this out together.”
She was terrified by the thrill of joy that pulsed through her at his words. She was terrified at how much she wanted to lean into his caress—to lean on him.
Instead she wrenched herself away, pressing her palm over the silver bag that was hidden once again beneath her shirt. The feel of it was a reminder of the promises she’d already made. Promises she couldn’t break.
Hawk sighed and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Will you at least tell me what that thing is?”
“It’s an engagement gift. From the man I’m going to marry.”
The change was instantaneous. One second he looked calm, almost resigned, his hands in his pockets and his posture relaxed. The next he was pure demon, eyes yellow and fangs bared and a low growl making her hair stand on end. When he took her shoulders this time there was nothing gentle about it.
“You’re not going to marry him.”
She forced herself not to soften, not to surrender, even though some traitorous instinct made her knees weak. “Yes, I am. Because duty comes before…” She swallowed. “Before this. And it should for you, too. You shouldn’t have come to me tonight if you thought it might hurt your sister.”
His hands tightened. “It could only hurt my sister if you weren’t worthy of trust. But you are worthy.”
“You’re right,” she said softly. “I am. My people can count on me, and so can you. I promise that if my mother doesn’t honor her bargain, I’ll find Mary for you. Once I’m married, once I’m living in the Dark Fae realm, I’ll be able to—”
“No! Goddam it, why are you so determined to be a sacrifice? We can rescue Mary without—”
“There’s no we, Hawk.”
For one instant, his black eyes lasered into hers. Then he fell on her like his namesake on a mouse, jerking her hard against him and covering her mouth with his.
Darkness. Heat. Desire. Jessica couldn’t stop her arms from sliding around his neck, couldn’t hold back the moan that escaped her.
After an eternity he pulled back. “Tell me there’s no we. Tell me you don’t feel anything for me.”
She was panting, disoriented. She hung on to rationality by a thread. “Even if…even if I do…it doesn’t change anything.”
“It changes everything.” And then he was kissing her again, backing her up against a tree and lifting her off her feet, thrusting one of his legs between hers so she rode his thigh helplessly, every move she made increasing the friction between them until her body ached and throbbed.
It took every ounce of strength to tear her mouth from his. “Stop. Please, Hawk—”
“You can’t marry him,” he said roughly. “Don’t you see? Knowing the truth about your mother casts everything she’s done into doubt. You can’t trust any deal she’s made, and especially not with the Dark Fae. She’ll do anything to maintain her power. She’ll sacrifice anything, including you. Going to the Dark Fae realm could mean going to your death. You don’t know anything except what Talia’s told you, and you can’t trust a word she says.”
Her body was balanced on his hard thigh, forcing her to clutch at his shoulders. The ruthless pressure between her legs was unbearable, arousing, agonizing.
“Please let me go,” she whispered.
A beat went by, and then another. And then Hawk pulled back so that she could slide down to the ground, supporting her own weight again.
She ran shaking hands through her hair as she tried to think. Hawk was right about one thing—she couldn’t trust anything her mother had said. But that didn’t mean that Prince Kel couldn’t be trusted.
The truth was, she didn’t know.
And then something occurred to her.
She had a way to find out.
If she went to the Dark Fae realm herself, she could find out what she needed to know. She could see Kel in his own land—and Queen Navril, too. She could test their sincerity for herself.
And she could look for Hawk’s sister, find out if she were truly a prisoner there—and why. And if she couldn’t negotiate for Mary’s release, she would find a way to rescue her.
Her hand went to the stone at her breast, and Hawk seized her wrist. “You can’t marry him,” he said, and his voice was a command.
She took a deep breath. “Maybe I do have feelings for you,” she said, glad that her voice only shook a little. “But I can’t substitute your judgment for mine. And you’re right about my mother—I can’t trust her judgment, either. Not until I know what her agenda is.” She jerked her hand out of Hawk’s grasp and took a step back. “I have to trust myself, Hawk. I have to figure out what’s right. One thing I promise you—if Mary’s there, I won’t leave her behind.”
Hawk frowned. “What do mean, you won’t leave her behind? What are you—”
She couldn’t delay. Now that she’d decided what she needed to do, she couldn’t stay here any longer. If she was going to figure all this out she needed her wits about her, and Hawk had already proven that she couldn’t think straight around him. Every second she looked at him weakened her resolve.
She stepped forward suddenly and kissed him, wrapping her arms around his waist as she pressed her body against his.
He kissed her back with fierce hunger, his hands everywhere and his mouth plundering hers. Long before she was ready to she broke the kiss, backing away again to a safe distance.
“Thank you for trusting me. For telling me what you did. I promise you won’t regret it.”
His eyes were dark with passion but his expression was wary. “Why would I—”
“Goodbye, Hawk.”
Before she could talk herself out of it, she pulled Kel’s gift from her shirt and opened the silver bag.
She touched the stone inside it, and then she was gone.
Chapter Nine
It took a split second for Hawk to realize what had happened—and how impossible it was to follow where she’d gone.
She was beyond his reach. Alone in another dimension with no one to protect her.
Rage and fear rose inside him. He slammed his fist against the tree trunk, and as blood dripped down his arm he let out an animal howl. Again, and again, until someone tackled him from behind and slapped a hand over his mouth.
“Will you shut the fuck up? In case you’ve forgotten, mate, we vamps like to keep a low profile when it comes to attracting human attention. Now you’ve got everyone in this neighborhood calling 911 about wild animals or God knows what.”
It was Evan. Hawk tried to speak, but the other vampire tightened his grip. “Are you going to do more of that bloody howling?”
He shook his head, and Evan withdrew his hand and backed off.
“How did you find me?” Hawk panted.
“I was looking fo
r you. The others are back at the club, waiting for me to bring you and Jessica back. But I take it she’s not with you. What the hell happened?”
“She’s gone.”
“Gone? Gone where?”
“The Dark Fae realm.”
Evan stared at him. “What?”
Fear clawed at him, and blind fury at his helplessness was making him shake. “We’ve got to get her back. There has to be a way. He gave her something…a talisman that acted as a portal. She took that with her, but there has to be a way to—”
Evan held up his hands. “I shouldn’t have asked you, not yet. Let’s get back to the club where you can tell all of us. That way you won’t have to go through it all again.”
Hawk took a deep, unneeded breath. Jessica’s scent still hung in the air.
He’d never felt this close to madness. “Will you help me get her back?”
Evan sighed. “If it’s possible. I’ve been where you are, Hawk. These Fae women…once they’re in your blood you can’t get them out. It’s bloody pathetic, but there’s not a damn thing you can do about it. But let’s get back to the others, yeah? There’s strength in numbers. We’ll figure this out.”
* * *
An hour later, Hawk had gone through the whole story, only leaving out the details of what had happened between him and Jess in the park. Liz Marlowe, Jack Morgan’s mate and a Green Fae warrior like Jessica, was pacing back and forth across the floor of Evan’s study.
“We know there are portals between the worlds, but we don’t know where they are. There will be a demon outbreak somewhere, like the one in the Canadian Rockies, but whenever we’ve tried to locate the portal so we can try to seal it up, we’ve failed. Our theory has always been that they’re temporary, or else constantly moving. And we’ve only known for a few months that the demons were coming here from the Dark Realm. Before we had time to use that information in our effort to locate portals, Talia made contact with the Dark Fae queen and they worked out their truce.” Her eyes flicked to Hawk and then Celia. “I still can’t believe that Talia…that our queen…” she trailed off.
